Shake whatcha momma gave ya
Uh, Mariah, how old are you?
C'mon, Mimi, Fergie is nothing to aspire to. She has worse aging issues than you do!
Besides that, MC's new "Shake It Off" video = sexual. Good sexual.
See, M. Whit said it best last week: "Just be." Just be plain old Mimi . . .
. . . even if that's the same thing as being plain old Mariah a few years ago.
Meanwhile,
No U R not, unless your name is Skenecia. Fakeboringfakeboringfakefakefake! An hour of it! I'm not even going to attempt to recap it because you'd fall asleep. Tionne "Player" Watkins and Rozonda "Hater" Thomas, you disappoint me.
But I'm not giving up on my baby-baby-babies just yet. I have faith that this show can pick itself up and become America's Next Pop Tart once all the contestants start living together. Really, the best part of the show was when the RUs had to watch each other perform. Bring the stank!
Even Chilli got stank! Girl, I knew you still had that fiyah in ya!
And then, after an hour of searching internally for a point, Tyra Banks comes along and validates my existence with a 30-second promo.
Gruff voiceover: UPN, this fall . . .
Tyra: . . . it's the most glamorous Top Model ever.
GV: Only one reality show shines above the rest.
T: Television never had so much bling.
GV: The girls are more dazzling than ever before.
T: The latest jewels in fashion.
GV: Thirteen diamonds in the rough. Who will be the next shining jewel?
T: Only one will make it to the top.
GV: Don't miss the all-new America's Next Top Model, UPN Wednesdays.
She's the stankest of them all!
UPN: Where the Brown come to clown... (I can say that becuz I'm black....and slightly un-PC)
Dang, when is Tyra gonna release ANTM on DVD? Or am I just gonna have to keep scouring VH1?
Posted by: Ian | July 28, 2005 at 03:16 PM
Even Common thinks so -- on Be he says he's "showin' niggas lives like UPN."
Also, ANTM is out on DVD -- at least (Menstrual) Cycle 1. I've got all kinds of bated breath for C2, though.
Posted by: Rich | July 28, 2005 at 03:25 PM
One must thank the You People's Network for their contributions to our culture. Thank you, so very much.
Posted by: dooku | July 28, 2005 at 08:31 PM
I completely forgot about the premiere. I guess I didn't miss anything.
Posted by: a. | July 29, 2005 at 12:45 AM
I've kind of just quit watching TV and just read your recaps.
Far better, i must say!
and oh my gods oh my gods, I can't wait for the next "cycle" of ANTM. I hope it's all naked shoots with nothing but jewelry.
Posted by: LA | July 29, 2005 at 08:13 AM
"The next shining jewel." None of the past winners of ANTM have become top models. They dont book shows, they dont get work, and they'll end up back home flipping burgers, or if they're lucky, they'll be on the surreal life, or hosting a lame show on the Style network.
All that runway training gone to waste.
Posted by: zarinah | July 30, 2005 at 12:45 PM
I finally caught that Mariah video. In the "Fergie" outfit: what is it with the hand gestures? I really need someone to get her a real stylist.
FYI: I think Celebrity Fit Club 2 just might be the surprise trainwreck of all the reality shows.Gary Busey, Jani (forgot his last name) and the closet crazy Willie Aames are the best!
Posted by: a. | August 04, 2005 at 01:14 PM
First of all, yal need 2 stop direspecting TLC. They didn't do nothing to yal! They are the best female group of all time. Yall aught to b praising them instead of talking bout them. Skenecia you need 2 shut up because you probably the biggest hater and player of all!!!!!!! I'm 15 years old and I love their music. So if yal don't like it , yal can kiss their *** and mines TOO!!!!!!
Posted by: kayla williams | December 06, 2005 at 05:52 PM
I Love you girls
Buy
Posted by: LeOgAhEr | June 01, 2007 at 08:01 AM