Sometimes, the only thing worse than a singer revising the lyrics of a song she's covering is when she leaves them as they are. At least, that's the case for Celine Dion's headscratch of a remake, "I Wish," in which she once-upon-a-times, "Looking back on when I / Was a little nappy headed boy." Jigga wha? Jigga at all? You can't knock her reverence for Stevie Wonder's original (as whateverable as it is -- maybe Songs in the Keys of Life's worst track), but Jesus Christ, does she even know what "nappy" means? Her motives are probably revealed in the next few lines ("Then my only worry / Was for Christmas what would be my toy / Even though we sometimes / Would not get a thing / We were happy with the / Joy the day would bring"), as she aligns Stevie's humble beginnings with her own (she was so poor that her family had to entertain themselves by doing weird shit with plates). But poor, schmoor -- Stevie wouldn't recognize Celine's village ghetto land.
Of course, there's plenty more fun to be had with lyrics (I love the imagery of her skinny, French Canadian ass smoking while tagging up a wall), not to mention her arbitrary enunciation. The file comes from last year's A New Day: Live in Las Vegas disc, as the real horns that mimic synthesized ones attest. I haven't heard that disc but can safely assume it is home to plenty of partners-in-camp for "I Wish" ("It's All Coming Back To Me Now" is the second track, so there you go, from the start). I wouldn't pay to see her act, but if someone wants to spring for my ticket, I'm so there.