(Promo shot found at Ricky Quintana's website)
Yeah, my week's having a slow start. Shut up.
Any number of freestyle tracks could (and probably will) take up the space I devote weekly to the crap I love to hate to hate to love (or something). Freestyle, the Latin electro offshoot arguably pioneered (and inarguably popularized) by Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam and producers Full Force with "I Wonder If I Take You Home," has since become defined by its shoddy production value, endless "Planet Rock" cribbing and, especially, its perpetuation of the nails-on-the-chalkboard, off-key singing. Are you a young girl in the Bronx with an inkling of a daydream of quasi-stardom? Have I got a job for you!
Plenty of freestyle tracks annoy way beyond Giggles' 1991 semi-hit "What Goes Around Comes Around," for the most part a benign Lisette Melendez rip-off tale of revenge (together forever, not Giggles'). Giggles doesn't even break into freestyle's trademark nasality until the pre-chorus call of "Tell 'em why, girlfriend" (Giggles responds herself, shading in her solitude with all the subtlety of a telenovela). That brash shout is just a primer for the hell that breaks loose during the song's breakdown, "Around"'s distinguishing, most delightfully craptastic element. Fred Flintstone, the Pillsbury Doughboy and any other wannabe rappers have nothing on Giggles' deaf rhythm and ABBCCDDD rhyme scheme: "What goes around comes around / That's not a fiction, that's a fact / Some men think they got it like that / A woman like me, you better respect / If you don't, I'll put you in check / I been hurt too many times before / I'm not gonna take this anymore / I'm sorry, Charlie, walk out the door." Please, girlfriend, don't tell 'em.