Bob and Whit Talk the Shit: The Top 20 Quotes of B³
20. "Kiss my ass!" - Whit.
In this case, it's not what you say, Whit. It's how you say it.
19. "There's nobody like us" - Bob
Bob said this within the first few minutes of the first episode. What was meant to be tender turned out to be prophecy. (Note: the sound is so muffled -- hence the subtitle -- that making a sound file of it would have been pointless. Not that there's a point to any of this in the first place.)
18. "I'ma fuck him up for leaving you in the cart" - Whit
Some might exaggerate ("I'ma kill him . . ."). Some might not invoke violence at all. Not the woman responsible for the Newark riots.
On Jimmy Kimmel, Bob reveals a major perk that comes with being Whitney Houston's husband. Break us off a piece of that next season.
This stuck out immediately when the episode first aired, but I didn't mention it in my recap because I just figured Whit was being rich and I just didn't know what she was talking about. I've since realized that she doesn't know what she's talking about. What the fuck is "gorgonzal?" (I know: "gorgonzola," but still!) Also, in the picture above, she's saying "pears" and using her right hand to make the not-so-universal symbol for the fruit. I call that Whit's pear claw. It's very Italian.
15. "That's the annoying one" - Lil' B
Lil' B proves how amazing he is by fitting the reliably bustin'-out BK into four words and one second.
14. ""It's Mothers Day, not All Everybody Day" - Whit
During the Mothers Day episode, Whit never stopped pointing out that it was, in fact, Mothers Day and that she was put out by the visiting extended family. Mothers Day was special, since everyday with Whit and Bob is All Everybody Day.
13. "The forest is over!" - Whit
If a bitchy comment resounds in the forest and the world hears it, is it technically louder? Yes. Yes it is.
12. "C'mon bring your ass here!" - Bob
The perfect punctuation for any higher-than-hell diatribe. Always count on Bob to be classy . . .
. . . classier . . .
10. "Think I can impregnate you tonight?" - Bob
. . . classiest. This one's great if you consider the challenge.
Whit recalls her cronies' reaction to Bob's dookie-bubble extraction and, in the meantime, speaks for a people.
8. "They're cute, but we're Bobby and Whitney" - Whit
Months, if not a year before B³ starting airing, Whit knew she and Bob had so much to offer to the world of reality television. She told this to a reporter who compared them to Nick and Jessica, and, generous soul that she is, saved the explanation for us.
7. "I don't think this would fit" - BK
Do you really need to stand to do that?
He's also responsible for our auxiliary national anthem ("Roni"). He's practically a patriot.
You get the feeling that the Queen of Euphemism could go on for days.
One of the show's indelible, no-brainer soundbites is coming dangerously close to overexposure. Please use this one sparingly, guys. If R. Kelly shows up anywhere with this on his shirt, I'ma fuck y'all up.
2. "Why is my shoe following me?" - Bob
I don't think he ever got to the bottom of this, the show's most pressing existential dilemma.
While "Hell to the no" is novel (and perhaps another example of Whit's incessant referencing), this one is practical and original. Not just a nutshell example of Whit's Broadway-esque song launching, it's actually a useful, cathartic way to express exasperation. Use it in your daily life. In doing so, you'll see that Whit has redefined her status as the voice of a nation.