Now y'all gonna stand around and quote me, right?

Bob and Whit Talk the Shit: The Top 20 Quotes of B³

20. "Kiss my ass!" - Whit.

In this case, it's not what you say, Whit. It's how you say it.

19. "There's nobody like us" - Bob

Bob said this within the first few minutes of the first episode. What was meant to be tender turned out to be prophecy. (Note: the sound is so muffled -- hence the subtitle -- that making a sound file of it would have been pointless. Not that there's a point to any of this in the first place.)

18. "I'ma fuck him up for leaving you in the cart" - Whit

Some might exaggerate ("I'ma kill him . . ."). Some might not invoke violence at all. Not the woman responsible for the Newark riots.

17. "I just like seeing her walk around the house butt-ass nekkid" - Bob

On Jimmy Kimmel, Bob reveals a major perk that comes with being Whitney Houston's husband. Break us off a piece of that next season.

16. "Could you do me something for a appetizer? I would like gorgonzal. Do you have gorgonzal cheese? With pears. That's very Italian." - Whit

This stuck out immediately when the episode first aired, but I didn't mention it in my recap because I just figured Whit was being rich and I just didn't know what she was talking about. I've since realized that she doesn't know what she's talking about. What the fuck is "gorgonzal?" (I know: "gorgonzola," but still!) Also, in the picture above, she's saying "pears" and using her right hand to make the not-so-universal symbol for the fruit. I call that Whit's pear claw. It's very Italian.

15. "That's the annoying one" - Lil' B

Lil' B proves how amazing he is by fitting the reliably bustin'-out BK into four words and one second.

14. ""It's Mothers Day, not All Everybody Day" - Whit

During the Mothers Day episode, Whit never stopped pointing out that it was, in fact, Mothers Day and that she was put out by the visiting extended family. Mothers Day was special, since everyday with Whit and Bob is All Everybody Day.

13. "The forest is over!" - Whit

If a bitchy comment resounds in the forest and the world hears it, is it technically louder? Yes. Yes it is.

12. "C'mon bring your ass here!" - Bob

The perfect punctuation for any higher-than-hell diatribe. Always count on Bob to be classy . . .

11. "I'ma bite cho ass tonight, though . . . Aw yeah, tonight you gon' get cho ass bit" - Bob

. . . classier . . .

10. "Think I can impregnate you tonight?" - Bob

. . . classiest. This one's great if you consider the challenge.

9. "My sisters were goin', 'Thas love! Thas love! Thas love! Black love!'" - Whit

Whit recalls her cronies' reaction to Bob's dookie-bubble extraction and, in the meantime, speaks for a people.

8. "They're cute, but we're Bobby and Whitney" - Whit

Months, if not a year before B³ starting airing, Whit knew she and Bob had so much to offer to the world of reality television. She told this to a reporter who compared them to Nick and Jessica, and, generous soul that she is, saved the explanation for us.

7. "I don't think this would fit" - BK

Bustin'. Out.

6. "Y'all gonna make me stand up and take a shit on this table" - Bob

Do you really need to stand to do that?

5. "I'm a true American. I've been to jail before, that's American!" - Bob

He's also responsible for our auxiliary national anthem ("Roni"). He's practically a patriot.

4. "I'm about to do the doo. I'm about to drop it on the one. A boatload." - Whit

You get the feeling that the Queen of Euphemism could go on for days.

3. "Hell to the no!" / "Hell to the naw" - Whit

One of the show's indelible, no-brainer soundbites is coming dangerously close to overexposure. Please use this one sparingly, guys. If R. Kelly shows up anywhere with this on his shirt, I'ma fuck y'all up.

2. "Why is my shoe following me?" - Bob

I don't think he ever got to the bottom of this, the show's most pressing existential dilemma.

1. "You know what? I'm not doin' this with him todaaay!" - Whit

While "Hell to the no" is novel (and perhaps another example of Whit's incessant referencing), this one is practical and original. Not just a nutshell example of Whit's Broadway-esque song launching, it's actually a useful, cathartic way to express exasperation. Use it in your daily life. In doing so, you'll see that Whit has redefined her status as the voice of a nation.

Comments

[duane]

I call that Whit's pear claw. It's very Italian.

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

(seriously, why aren't we friends?)

[Rich]

Aren't we?

[Allison]

Do you have the video of Whitney screaming Kiss My Ass or just the sound clip? The video cracks me up every time and I've been searching all over the internet for it but I can't find it anywhere.

[DavisMcDavis]

#16 stuck out at me when she said it, but I never noticed Whitney's pear claw before. You're very insightful!

[shawnp]

I have people in my office using the "You know what? I'm not doin' this with him todaaay!" and I'm the only person who watches the show.

It's universal.
Thank you Whit.
Thank you.

[duane]

I guess we are then!! Woo hoo!!! =o)

And I agree with ShawnP... it is universal. I try to use it in conversation at least once a day; not just sporadically.

[GothamWhore]

Ahhh Love IT!!

FINALLY with the sound clips!

"I'm not doing this with him, todaaaaay"

Classic.

[Skenecia]

Whitney is awesome!!!

You know, if I were a doodie bubble, I'd have to agree with the pear claw.

Now I have to go tell someone I'M NOT DOING WITH WITH YOU TODAAAAY!

[shaina]

thank you thank you thank!!!

[Jgracefully]

People love to "holier-than-thou" on Bob and Whit, but dammit: they are real!

Aside from 'COPS' I'd say B/B/Brown is the most realistic show of all time; especially of the reality genre.

When you gon' get a clip of Bobby's daddy in the woods, pooting in the tent??!(Hilarious!) THAT episode was full of soundbites.

VIVA ATLANTA! HOME OF THE BROWNS!

**On a side note, regarding "Roni" - It's too bad Bobby's nephew got stabbed at Justin's and can't go back. I've been to shows all over the world, seriously; my favorite?? Diddy's private party in March when Bobby sang Roni live, intimate setting style. The forest was OVER, ya'll! *swoon*

[JaeRizzle]

You are the best!!! Thank you so much for all your hard work!! Thanks to you, now when I walk down the streets of NY and my phone rings, the world gets to hear "Kiss my ass! I don't fight, I don't wrestle, I beat bitches up! I am NOT doing this with him todaaayyy." Keep on spreadin' the Whitney ghetto fabulousness!

[ren]

Awesome---I have never seen an entire episode but have heard enough people talk about it to get each of these references. Very well done.

[Joshua]

As one who don't got no Bravo in his life I thank you for all this. <3

[Andrew]

Rich,

I have to say thank you for these hilarious mp3 files. I am setting up "i'm not doing this w/ him todaaaaay" as one of my ringtones! You the jam!

[gagirl]

Someone please help me. How do I download these mp3 files to my cell? I HAVE to have some of these clips as my ringtones!! Please help!

[Lola]

Yes please help with the downloading of the ringtones thing, I MUST HAVE IT!

I.MUST!

[D-Dub]

Oh man, these are hilarious, but where is the clip of Whit singing that "Shut Up" song by the Black Eyed Peas? That was the funniest thing I've seen all year!

[Cc]

damn... so funny!

[lovebucket1]

I miss this show it was too funny!!!

[OrangeXenon54]

I just want to thank you for putting these sound clips up. I was searching for a sound clip of Whitney saying "Kiss my ass!", and thankfully, you had it up!!! And guess what I used it for? My ringtone!! It's the best ever and I thank you so much for it!!

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