Paul Wall: Uglyhot

I wanna work on Paul Wall's grill. And I mean work.

He's such a cool guy. Look at how happy he is to appeal to at least a sliver of the gay demographic . . .

He really is the people's champ!

I know that at first (and second and third and . . . ) glance, he's repellent . . .

. . . but he's like a pug or a Persian -- his ugliness is so immense that it wraps right around to cuteness. Let it work itself on you. Download the following collage and make it your (tiled) desktop. Stare at it and think about things like tippin' and candy paint. Look into his now-beadier little eyes. Think of all the rims spinning and spinning and spinning. Fall under his spell.

Uglycute becomes uglyhot when his stock is considered. He is a bulldozer.

Go 'head and plow.

Also, his voice is sexy. Even though his image is as intensely unbelievable as a cartoon drawn by a cartoon, he's a laid back rapper with a humble flow. I'm like, "Oooh, Paul, brag sweet nothings in my ear." Nothings because he's not much of a lyricist and sweet because he my baby.

For everyone else not involved in an imaginary but potentially hazardous homosexual affair with him (screw me, don't chop me), Paul Wall is your friend. The surprisingly poignant "Sippin Tha Barre"  is a big hug of a track. He's really just a normal guy with $100,000 in precious metals and gems on his teeth and siz-erp in his adorable belly.

Bonus points:

He hangs with Lil' Mo . . .

He's not embarrassed to wear Peanuts on his clothes (a cartoon of a cartoon wearing cartoons -- I'm going to have a seizure) . . .

I bet he's a cuddler.

Comments

[Brian]

Wow, I thought I was the only one who kinda, sorta thought he was sexy in that wannabe macho chubster Fred Durst way. Now I'm only slightly embarassed to have a crush on him. Speaking of Fred Durst, he's recently lost some of the chub. Bring back the chub Fred, it was one of your best features!

[Artie James]

I bet he's a post orgasm cryer.

*loving sigh*

[nicole]

Gross!! I'd hold on a little closer to the old lady tonight and be thankful!

FourFour LOVES THE CHUNK!

[U'nique]

Hmm, he's all right. I'd do Bubba Sparxx before this guy?! And Britney Spears "beefy-fat" insta-husband (can't remember his name) can cut to the front of the line! [I love your site, bro, and must give mad props for yesterday's glorious NOES2 post].

[Rita]

I am from Houston and have been listening to this guy since before he rapped about drugs and he would NEVER cuss either. Back then he was a really great rapper, and the ladies LOVED him. The problem is that he really is a poser. He is from one of the nicest neighborhoods in Houston and pretends to be from the ghetto. So you see... he probably really is just a big softie after all. You were on the right track.

[Carly]

No, no, a thousand times no.

You know what kills it?

THE TEETH!

I might agree with you if it weren't for those gaudy choppers. Look at them! Hideous. And what annoys me even more is when he insists on over-sneering in his videos to show them off. Like Mike Jones. The two of them need to stop leaving their mouths agape to show off their bling. If it's that important, get rings!

[Nick]

Alexander McQueen, you have really hit rock bottom!

[Pop Muse]

He's no Bubba Sparks, but I'd bang him.

[duane]

I am with U'nique and Pop Muse: Bubba Sparxxx is much cuter. I actually saw him in the LAX airport, and he is cuter in person.

I can't get over this guy's teeth.

[Brian]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the "bling teeth" plates removable? Its not as if those are his permanent teeth, at least I don't think so. Also, I saw him on MTV today saying he has his own "grill" shop in a mall in Houston where you too can get customized bling for your teeth. I don't know why I find it humurous that he has his own store in the mall.

[fat asian baby]

i dunno, i'm gonna stick with ugly.

[john.kellum]

did he eat bubba sparxxx? where is he?

p.s. - gotta love lil mo

get that shit off y'all pics

[chris]

yall motherfuckers are stupid

[adam]

ahhhhh paul wall is soo ghetto

[claire]

paul wall is one sexy white boy

[AlexXxa]

paul wall isz iiqht ....BUT EMIINEM IZ MUCHHH FIIINER

[Joe]

Does anybody know the name of his grill shop in houston?

[Tashia Sleightin]

Oh my baby lookin fine ass hell as always!!

[DaT gRl]

PaUl WaLl Is So FiNe!!!!!! AnD tHeN wItH hIs GrIlL mAnNnN!!! sHiT eVeN tHoUgH hE's ChUnKy He Is StIlL hOt I lOvE hIm AnD tHeN hE rEpReSeNtS TEXAS sHiT tHaT iS eVeN bEtTeR 4 rEaL!!!!!!!!!!!

[ASHLEY]

FUK YEH PAUL WALL SEXXI ! WHOOO OMG. HE IS ONE FINE GETTO WHITE BOI. DANG, NOW I LIKE THEM GETTO WHITE BOIS IN SKOOL

[S. dot]

paul is a real coo down 2 earth person...da same thang id wanna b if i wus blown up.....an it dont matter wher u from, its wher u at!! an right now hes at a spot he livin it up, dude make so much dough off grills an real estate, he ain gotta rap jus 4 fun...i give em props 4 bein a 24yr. old recently married man wit a kid on da way, an platinum status on his album!! go cop dat chamillionaire tho, its hard as well
check da site an lemme know what yall think 2
www.myspace.com/sdot81

[Shayw]

Paul "Paul Wall" Slayton is sexy az hell. I commend the girl he married cause she caught a good one. So what he's thick! His pockets are fat, his voice will make u melt, and believe it or not he has a nice white smile behind that grill. I have seen it. He is too damn hot. Congratulations Paul on ur marrige and child. Too bad I didnt catch you cause u would have got treated like a real KING!!!

[north memphis nigga]

all yall hoez be actin like yall know him. hahaha yall wak all yall ma fuccers need to just fall bak lmao yall wak