Return of the crap

Whateverhisnameis featuring Jimmy Page "Come With Me"

I don't think that Sean "Like We Care" Combs is completely useless as a musician (he kinda did invent the remix -- at least, as hip-hop radio knows it -- with his beat-heavy spin on Jodeci's "Come & Talk To Me," he's done many a great one since then and he produced virtually everything on the best R&B album of the past 15 years, Mary J. Blige's My Life). I do, however, think that he's a douchebag, particularly when he opens his mouth. He's got the rapping chops of Barney Rubble and literacy that's dubious at best (my two favorite -- meaning most reviled, since the two distinctions are virtually interchangeable in my head -- Diddy couplets are: "Watchin' us while we pray for you / Everyday we pray for you" from "I'll Be Missing You" and "And I'm a Bad Boy and bad boys do bad things / But if you kiss me right I'll put some carats in your ring" from his otherwise fab remix of Total's "Kissin' You").

He's no more articulate when making a rare excursion into singing, as the bridge of 1998's "Come With Me" attests. The would-be anthem of the would-be blockbuster remake of Godzilla, "Come With Me" is almost as bloated of a failure as the film it called home. As though "cinematic" weren't a trite enough quality for a pop song to aspire to, Diddy or Puffy (call him Duffy!) enlists Jimmy Page to help with the song's "Kashmir" recreation, bringing things so over that you can't even see the top. Duffy makes the execution of that stupid idea stupider by getting cathartic all over the track's six minutes. He would have been shadowboxing on the radio if "Come" could have mustered up airplay. Its video, though, did experience heavy rotation for a minute and I remember spending each second transfixed. "Come With Me" is so ugly and stupid that it's as awe-inspiring as a 500-foot rubber lizard suit looming over your head.

"I love you dearly, and that's sincerely / But you annoy me," spits Duffy. Yeah, I know how that feels. If his upcoming solo album gets anywhere near this crappy, I'll fucking bite him. And love it.

Comments

I believe Diddy's newest moniker is 'Shiddy'.

[duane]

I don't see the draw to diddy either, I just don't get why he is so famous. I agree with the whole "good" producer thing, but that really should be it.

[Bill]

i don't even agree with the good producer thing as most of the songs he does are done in "collaboration" with other much more talented producers like Chucky Thompson or Stevie J. (Notice my omission of Mario Winans as it's obvious that someone was either adopted or skipped when it came to doling out the Winans family talent.)

[Rich]

That could be true -- I'll have to check the credits of my favorite remixes of his (the aforementioned Total one, and more recently, Mr. Cheeks' "Lights, Camera, Action" and Janet's "Son of a Gun," which brought back the boogie before the boogie wanted to be brought).

[Bill]

Aside from skits on albums, I honestly can't think of a single track that Sean John himself has production credit all to himself.

[Joshua]

imagine if puffy started doing morality songs... he'd go worse than will smith in Just The Two Of Us:

Always tell the truth, say your prayers/Hold doors, pull out chairs, easy on the swears/You're living proof that dreams do come true/I love you and I'm here for you

egad i shudder to think

[Kristin H.]

All I can say is that ANYBODY can get a hit song by stealing another hit song. I'm all for "sampling" other songs, but Duffy is abusing this privilege!

[dooku]

His new name is "Dickhead".

[voodoo]

Watching any of his Making the Band shows is like watching a slow train wreck that's full of midget cowboys riding bikes. You don't give a shit if it crashes and burns.

[Aruhlcoq]

CnVvh3

[phentermine dosage]

If you have to do it, you might as well do it right.

[Health News]

Thank you for introducing me the wonderful information.And .....Totally boring.!

[pedal go karts]

Thank you scanner. It is too bad the media isn't getting it right. But that is probably not just circumstance.

[adult go kart]

This is so very inspirational and educational. And I just smiled when I saw the photo of you with your book at the end of this marvelous piece! Thank you for sharing this!!! And many congratulations to you! Rated with admiration.

[adult pedal kart]

Wonderfully inspirational and so well told. Thank you for the advice. -R-

[kids pedal go kart]

This post absolutely made my day. Your optimism and integrity are inspiring. If I was hiring for any job, I'd hire you!