The Gerard Way

My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way is having inner turmoil that's way existential.

"Am I camp? Am I not camp? Am I camp? Am I not camp?"

"I just don't know. Maybe my contact lens has the answer."

"Maybe I'll pray on it. Are you there, God? It's me, pop-goth."

I know MCR's "Helena" video is months old, but in the wake of the VMAs, it has infested my life and I kind of can't believe it. I can't believe that it exists at all.

Plot sketch: the song's about Way's dead grandmother and the video is about a funeral. A special funeral that involves interpretive dancing . . .

. . . interpretive dancing with umbrellas . . .

. . . and the waking dead.

But none of these things dazzle me like Way. Nothing could deter me from his over-emoting or seeing that the true moral of this story has nothing to do with death or redemption or incense or rebirth. It's actually a triumph of facial elasticity.

Even though everything about "Helena" is totally obnoxious and even though I barely have the patience for verse-chorus-verse rock, I was willing to give these guys the benefit of the doubt and enjoy the ambiguity of how seriously they take themselves. I talk here and go further into depth here about how the question of intention makes camp much more enjoyable. Half the fun is the inherent quest, looking for clues -- a wink, a nudge, anything -- from the band letting the viewers know that they're in on the joke.

So great, gothy melodrama. It's like high school with eye-bags. What's not to love? A lot, it turns out, as Way told MTV back in January that this shit is serious.

"When I first read the treatment for ["Helena"], I got emotional. I realized it was going to be very sad," he said.

Wait, sad as in ambiguously morbid? Sad as in, "Ow, my face hurts from all the contorting?" Sad as in funny?

"It's not funny at all. The best way to describe the video is 'very sad and celebratory, upsetting and uplifting at the same time,'" he continues.

I give up!

"If you laugh at my pain, I'm going to blow up your local Hot Topic."

Comments

[fat asian baby]

how sad.
:snicker:

[nicole]

You are so, very, funny. Your site is a breath of fresh air from all the celebrity blogs.

[justin]

The last line made the whole thing.

[raevee nyc]

I get it you're going through B3 withdrawal.
I'm gonna find out where they sent Whitney for rehab and hook you up.

[dooku]

That guy spends too much time making faces in front of the mirror. Also, haven't they ripped off the White Stripe's look (kinda, sorta, you know, the black, red, white thing)?

[dooku]

Thanks for the link. Back attcha!

[gail]

you are awesome and i'm going to tell you a long-winded story about my chemical romance. BUT NOT HERE. for it is private. and you will love it. it involves yelling. thank you.

[Erica]

I swear Rich, you read my mind. MCR, the latest in a long line of MTV approved pop-punk...did you peep his flak jacket or bulletproof vest he was wearing at the VMAs...what's the deal with that?

[Christopher]

I love your post. I also love My Chemical Romance. And trust me, I've actually got great, non-MTV-approved taste. All in all, I'm pretty not sure how this one got past my goalie. I can say this: I like it in the Iron Maiden way. It's pretty non-poseur, at least like that.

kool

[Yelmarie]

Hey. My chemical rocks alright, and they're gonna keep rockin. You got it. Also stop saying Gerard is gay, hes not gay, he has a girlfriend. Gosh peoples, what is up with you.My chemcial romance freakin rocks. Rock on MCR. Rock on.

[Marion]

Hahahaha dude, I like my chemical romance, but you got me with the facial elasticity thing.

You're awesome and fuck you!

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

ha funni.. it actually is and yes i did laff... but i like My Chemical Romance and they've made it so get over it, there obviously good.

[Juliette]

My Chemical romance just rocks!!!!
It's just too bad MTV has to jump on it and claim it as their new found cool pop band. =__=; whyyy mtv?? whyyyy!!!???

but MCR was already cool BEFORE MTV discovered them. now..they just have a bit more money to spend,sinc they've gotten more popular and MTV benefits from it.

Say whatver crap you want about MCR,but they truly are very nice guys and atleast they aren't as obnoxious as some singers.

[Eliezer]

Dude, your post is funny.
But My Chemical Romance is one of the best bands out there nowadays. Just pay attention to the guitars, nevermind the drums or the vocals, THE GUITARS.
Try The Ghost Of You or To The End. BEST.GUITARS.EVER.

[Sytheral]

Dude, that is hilarious...not really...neways, I absolutely LOVE MCR! It is the best band, to me and some of my friends, of all time!! Listen to "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us in Prison" Its a really great song

[calm_dew01]

Honestly, MCR rocks, they make good videos, after Helena, Ghost of You is pretty good....their songs rock!! And I love Gerard! At least he's a good actor!!!

[ayu-jakarta,indonesia]

your videos very-very good!!!!
nice!!!
crazy!!!!
oohh,, very nice!!!

[Tia]

that last line...perfect

[Anna]

That was the cheapest shot i have ever heard and i think you should interveiw them and say it to thier face but forget that becasue you are the kind that go behind thier backs were you cant get hurt. PUSSY!

[Bex]

lol yeah gotta hand it to you, I adore my chem but this is perdy funny :P

[alex]

ok this is prolly a little off topic here but im getting really tired of ppl saying gerards is gey or bi it really doesnt matter if he is or isnt tho it would be nice if he isnt ......iether way MCR is a great band and gerard is really really hot, but i was wondering is he actually gay or bi? or is that just some stupid gossip?

[Christina Crosswhite]

omfg Gerard Way is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fuckin hot i swear on day i will marry him and have his kids

[Laura liddell]

here dudez! rite u need 2 listen! these guys are the best thing that ever happened to this sad little world! They are not POP goth there not even goth they are the most F**kin awsum punk band! Oh yea gerard way may have a girlfriend BUT he is bisexual...if love my chemical romance then you should f**king know that! You people realy do make me sick thinking you know sh*t when you dont! Thanks for reading this hope you take my words wisely! Lolly

[Emma]

Hey there...this was funny. I love MCR to bits though :D. Btw, in reply to the last message on this...Gerard is not bisexual. He said so himself that he is straight. And I for one choose to take his word over the words of others.
Thanks for this :P