Tuesday's episode of The Tyra Banks Show hit the premiere's three-ring heights, thanks to the pervasive theme:
Victoria's Secret shilling boobs. My three favorite things (besides the introduction of the concept of "bra makeovers") from the breastisode were . . .
1. Anna Nicole!
I was really hoping that they'd wrestle for the title of Campiest Camp That Ever Camped (And Had No Self-Awareness While It Did), but no such luck. It was all about the breastessess. Awesomely, as soon as Anna Nicole sat down, Tyra started grilling her about her rack. In response, the reliably clueless Anna Nicole went, "Did you bring me here for implants?" The audience, Tyra, everybody chuckled, as if to say, "As if!" But, of course, that's exactly why she was there.
It was a meeting of the minds, which is to say a hazy marble-mouthed interview. Listen to Anna explain her multiple surgeries here. While that's articulate enough to stand on its own, here's a pictorial illustrating the "erk"s"
2. Since it was a breastisode, Tyra kept it so real by being felt up and ultrasounded to prove there was no silicone or saline keeping her buoyant (yesterday's news). She flopped around with vigor.
3. She interviewed Ricardo Antonio Chavira and was all over him. At one point she said "I didn't know you were Mexican," and then nervously muttered, "You fine." She made him stay past his interview segment and watch this bra fashion show and she got all dirty-old-man during the course, like, "Whadda ya thinka those knockers?!?" Also, she couldn't keep her hands off him. I've documented each time she touched him in the collage below. Note that even though the last three appear to be one long groping session, each touch occurred at separate intervals, with hand-lifting in between.
Have they been spotted out together yet?
Note: I'm not trying to turn fourfour into a Tyra! Tyra! Tyra! affair, but as you can see, I'm going through a slight obsession. I honestly wouldn't have posted about this show again if it didn't tickle me with its boobs. There is no need to worry: Tyra is not, repeat, not the new Whitney. I think that makes her a little misty.