Last night's what-happened-to-the-Cycle-4-hoes-anyway ANTM special, Return to the Runway, was way complicated. Just so you lose no sleep over the current status of your favorite loser, I've assembled sort of a visual Cliff's Notes with minimal text. This is no time for literacy!
Via the special, we learned:
Tyra has some hot left in her.
Naima's doing the mime thing (Maima?!?).
Brittany signed to Next and is fuckable as ever.
Brita is "holding too much weight" (Nigel™) for print ads, so she switched to billboards.
Keenyah is now Keenyah!!! .
Tiffany is taking her time building up her confidence, since modeling is a career that waits for everyone and has no age restrictions or anything.
Lluvy is engaged to a slab of beef.
Jealous?
Michelle likes little girls.
Noelle has yet to muster up a point.
Christina is.
Rebecca, once accused of possessing "girl scout"-like wholesomeness, has appeared in "various magazines," probably including American Girl.
Brandy is full of ideas.
As she did with her Tyra-installed weave, Kahlen gave up tending to her sexual ambiguity.
Tatiana is still very pugsly (again, Nigel™), and very Shelly-ish (the secret's in the missing teeth!).
Oh yeah, and Maima has a twin.
Sarah was not included in the episode. I bet it's because she refused to participate, as though anyone cares about what her bird-ass is up to.
I gotta admit, I missed these girls. Theirs was a uselessness that was all their own.
you know you dead wrong for that Michelle comment.... LOL
Posted by: nOva | September 21, 2005 at 09:02 AM
Additionally, it blows my mind how much Naima's twin looks the way Naima looked going in to Top Model....
Posted by: nOva | September 21, 2005 at 09:03 AM
Thank you so much for this update!!! I missed the recap last night, and I lost some serious sleep over it. It's nice that someone else lives and breathes the Top Model trainwreck like I do.
Posted by: cathy | September 21, 2005 at 09:56 AM
Does Naima have a jerry curl? Hot.
Posted by: Artie James | September 21, 2005 at 10:18 AM
Tyrade looks as though she's on the verge of a seizure.
Posted by: sean | September 21, 2005 at 10:54 AM
shelly no!
Posted by: bf | September 21, 2005 at 12:27 PM
Ha! You said Shelly! and poor Naima... Is it me or was Cycle 4 the season that shouldn't have been?
Posted by: James | September 21, 2005 at 01:52 PM
Couldn't agree more -- last night's sad, sad catch-up session cemented it.
Posted by: Rich | September 21, 2005 at 01:59 PM
Good God you're right (or should I say "fierce") with Tatiana. I knew she looked familiar. I must've forgotten she was Anna Nicole's cousin...I guess that's why Anna went on Tyra's show to...you know, to get 'er back.
Posted by: Liz!!! | September 21, 2005 at 06:39 PM
I love that you pulled out Anna Nicole's favorite cousin, Shelly. LOVE THAT.
Also, Lluvy's man is hot hot hot!
Posted by: duane | September 22, 2005 at 12:48 AM
Naima is so adorable!
Posted by: Edward | October 04, 2005 at 07:03 AM
lluvys the one thats hot
Posted by: | January 13, 2007 at 06:35 PM
Who Weeee!!!!!
Doesnt anyone agree with me about Lluvy being the most beautiful and outgoing person ive ever seen.
Posted by: | January 13, 2007 at 06:58 PM
2bGFKI
Posted by: Wvuxcblh | July 15, 2009 at 01:15 AM
If you have to do it, you might as well do it right.
Posted by: online tramadol | July 22, 2009 at 02:56 PM
"...what her bird-ass is up to."
LAUGH MY FUCKING ASS OFF AGAIN JUST HERE LOOKING THRU THESE OLD PIECES OF COMEDY GOLD
Posted by: Chantal | March 23, 2010 at 06:13 PM
Thank you for introducing me the wonderful information.And .....Totally boring.!
Posted by: Health News | March 10, 2011 at 05:25 AM