You've got the body, I've got the gay

That's a shot from Hellbent, which opens Friday in limited release, but is already all over my nerves. Though the trailer makes it look like shit (and this comes from someone who will gladly watch any of the first three Friday the 13th movies at any given time) and gay-for-gay's-sake cinema rarely can get over itself long enough to be watchable, at least one reputable source digs it. I'm not trying to dismiss it before actually seeing it. I am, though, taking issue with its sales pitch (as much as the low-budg flick has one), as seen on its site: "The first ever GAY Slasher film!!!" Additionally, many a gay blog has been sporting this similarly spun ad:

Wrong!

I'm not even close to being the first one to point this out, but it seems that some could use reminding -- the following film is as gay as a shriek and is 20 years Hellbent's senior:

A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge chronicles the internal conflict of the rather fruity high-school student Jesse . . .

. . . as he attempts to fight off possession by Freddy Krueger . . .

Coming of age while fighting inner demons? Sounds familiar! While the homo-as-horror foundation is enough to make NES2 queer (and, maybe appropriately, a tad homophobic) in its own right, there's plenty of detail to color in the gayness of Jesse and the film.

When we meet Jesse, he's immediately cast as an outsider . . .

. . . you can't hear what these girls are saying, but they're totally emasculating . . .

Jesse is new in town and has few friends. He does have a BFF, Lisa, who's a hag . . .

Since Jesse has moved into Nancy's old house where Freddy was killed in the first film, he becomes Freddy's target to facilitate the move from the dream world to reality. To do this, Freddy wants to take over Jesse's body, and his pitch is the infamous line, "You've got the body and I've got the brain." Freddy delivers the proposition extremely seductively . . .

And the homoeroticism doesn't stop there. Jesse's cartoonishly butch gym teacher constantly rides his ass (figuratively?). See, Jesse doesn't deal well with balls flying at his head . . .

At one point, Jesse wakes in the middle of the night, sweating (getting hot when Freddy's close is another thinly veiled connection to sexuality) . . .

He goes to a bar that's, uh, queer . . .

. . . and runs into his leather-clad gym teacher . . .

The teacher then makes Jesse run laps (in the middle of the night!). Jesse hits the shower, the gym teacher prepares to tie him up, but Freddy beats him and gives him a taste of his own restraints . . .

Freddy, of course, kills him while he's tied-up, vulnerable and exposing his ass.

Meanwhile, Jesse literally struggles with his sexuality when he makes out with BFF and his gay (as manifested by Freddy) slips out . . .

He can't perform.

(Here come some spoilers, but, y'know, I'm not going to ruin anything but a shitty sequel for you so you might as well stick with me.) Jesse eventually is taken over completely by Freddy, and ends up killing a bunch of teenagers, as crazy homos do. The final standoff occurs between Freddy/Jesse and BFF. How does she kill Freddy? With the power of hetero love!

This . . .

. . . leads to this . . .

Yay! Freddy's dead, and so is gay.

Or is it? The jeans, at least, suggest otherwise, and the epilogue suggests that Freddy isn't dead after all, as the bus Jesse's about to get on in the above picture, careens off the road and into the credits. After all, it's hard to suppress the gay.

A few more queer touches:

Jesse screams like a bitch . . .

At one point, he dons a pair of sunglasses Hollywood would have worn, and dances around his room to the post-disco sounds of "Touch Me (All Night Long)" by Fonda Gay. I mean, Rae.

The most compelling evidence? The Kate Bush poster on his door.

But the gayest thing about A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge is that despite all this delicious, fascinating sub-text (and regular old text), it still sucks.

Comments

[Ali]

Oh my God, Rich! You are so right, NEMS2 IS the original gay horror flick! I mean, yeah, it came out when I was a year old ('85, right?), and in later years gave me a terrible complex as far as sleeping in dark rooms was concerned up until the age of 12, but yes, I totally see it now! I will now pop in my DVD and enjoy me some Gay!Freddy.

[M.C. Glammer]

Why is Tom Cruise in that first pic? And with green eye shadow? Maybe his old crossdressing days are returning like a bad sequel.

[MSvoLA]

Yo.
I have seen Hellbent and even though I was positive it would SUCK...it does NOT. It's funny and scary and really well made. As for the First Gay Slasher Film thingy... the diff between NESII and Hellbent is that the latter's characters all self identify as queer, making it an actual Gay movie, instead just Homoerotic like the former, which I LOVE!
Check out the article I co-authored on the subject...
http://www.frontierspublishing.com/features/horror.html

[Rich]

I guess my point is something like: identify, shmidentify, gay is gay.

[duane]

I'm with you Rich, call a spade a spade. I have never seen any of the NES movies, but I may have to rent this one; just to see for myself.

And anyway, here is my question, did we really NEED a gay slasher flick? Why not just focus on making a GOOD gay movie? Sure there are good ones out there, but for every good one, there are like 20 stinkers. I think that should be the focus; not expanding the gay movie genre.

[erica]

Again Rich. I'm in awe of the way your mind works. You're like a fuckin' PHD of pop culture. That's a great analysis of NMES2. And you've articulated with such humor and reverence. Can I please be like you when I grow up?

[Rich]

Erica -- I'm blushing.

Duane -- I felt the same way, though, Gonzalez's review (linked to in the first paragraph) is extremely persuasive. I think, maybe what makes it work is not so much the slasher genre helping the gay one, but the gay helping the slasher. Not that the ads leave that indication.

[jeremy]

brilliant! truly, truly brilliant. i'd also like to posit sleepaway camp. its actually trans and not gay, but glbtq, right?

[Rich]

No doubt! That one came to mind almost as immediately as NES2.

[buzz]

hey there. snappy breakdown of NES2 (although i would argue that it's a great film even without the queer subtext -- an exploding parrot? the prominently displayed PROBE board game in Jesse's closet? c'mon!).

i actually run a gay horror film site that breaks down over a hundred horror flicks with gay subtext or overt gay content: www.campblood.org. those with an interest might find it useful.

and for what it's worth, HellBent is quite enjoyable (there's a review on my site as well). and SOMETIMES AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS came waaaaaay before NOES2...

best,
buzz

[Bijou]

OMG! You are so awesome.. I never thought NES2 had so many homo overtones. Your breakdown might actually be better than the movie.

[justin]

Don't forget the extremely gay cliffhanger of an ending. So so bad.

[sarkastik ninja.]

i was so just thinking the same thing about nes2 and sleepaway camp.
it's all about the doing push ups because of the jock strap incident.
and when he can't perform he runs over to his half naked friend's house.
i love it.
and just saying sleepaway camp is enough.
i love you guys.

and wasn't one/all of the slumber party/sorority house massacres completely lesbo?

[The Taipei Kid]

Beautiful review. Whatever happened to the lead actors?

[nOva]

The lead in NOES-2 actually ending up coming out in real life. If I find the interview link I'll drop a line.

[Dan]

Friday the 13th, Part V: A New Beginning

Ambiguously gay and incredibly hot lead who parades around shirtless for the first half of the movie...
Two leather queens in a car, one of whom Jason kills by shoving a FLARE IN HIS MOUTH, barrel first...
A butch wood-chopping queen who wears a leather arm cuff around his bicep...Gayest. Horror Movie. Ever.

[Dagon]

How about "Sleepaway Camp"...I can't really make a case for its being the first gay horror movie without completely spoiling it, but trust me, or rent it and judge for yourself...

[Sid Beaverhousen]

I was telling everyone how gay that Freddie was and no one saw it! I always got that "You think everything has gay undertones" (which of course everything does). Thank the gods I'm not then one only one saw it!

[joey]

No movie in history has ALL GAY CHARACTERS. Most movies have a pathetic gay character like you mentioned in "Nightmare". Please stop nadmouthing "HellBent" which is correct in saying it is the first Gay Slasher film...what a bunch of haters

[Genevieve]

Ok, that was one of the best posts ever. Not just on here, but on the internet :)

I gotta save this one some how.

p.s. at least the guys have better gay movies then us lesbians :(

[DISCO]

Sir, thank you for writing my favorite blog ever. You win. My heart. I am a New Jersey cockstress with her hair jacked up to Jesus. You are Bonjovi. Sign my titties right now!

[Rob]

Great analysis! But how can you leave out beautiful almost-nude Robert Rusler getting penetrated (by a blade)??

[deusdiabolus]

For that matter, what about the first appearance of Harry Crosby's character, Bill, in FRIDAY THE 13TH? No shirt, hairy sweat-sheened chest, tight jeans, and scruffy mustache. Total Joe Gage material.

[Friday Kreiger]

Holy shit. I have seen that movie a few times and never found it to be ghey. But that evidence is overwhelming. Oh well, back to the closet.

[mealone]

I have seen this movie at least twice. Never saw it in this way!

GREAT spin on things!