Give weird face

Wait.

This . . .

(From the "Don't Forget About Us" video, filmed in early October)

. . . is the same person as this . . .

(from Friday's Ellen DeGeneres Show, filmed earlier this month)

?

This . . .

. . is the same as this . . .

?

This . . .

. . . is this . . .

???

For real?

Conversely, this ("Don't Forget About Us") isn't the same song as this ("We Belong Together")? For real?

I find Mariah Carey more amusing than most celebrities, but I worry that her face is rearranging itself into Rocky Dennis'. Any idea what the deal is, how one person could look so drastically different in the course of a month? I know she's denied ever having Botox, but her face looked mighty stiff on Ellen. But then, I thought Botox was supposed to make you look younger, not Rosie O'Donnell-er.

Anyway, with that off my chest, a few loose ends I've been meaning to get to:

1.

Whoa.

I don't care for his limp flow, I certainly don't appreciate his limp-wrist bashing, but goddamn, as long as he's got that stomach, 50 Cent will always be relevant to me. It is a marriage of chunk and muscle like the world has never seen before. We need this. ANTM chocolate -- this is awesome. It's enough to turn me, well, aggressive. Imagine that.

Whoa.

2.

Usher gets to have his very own Glitter. I'm so happy for him.

If it's half as messy (and campy!) as it looks, it'll be worth the trip to the theater. I don't know if I can resist.

3.

I can't believe this moment has arrived: the return of negligible early '90s boy band Hi-Five ("I Like the Way (The Kissing Game)," "I Can't Wait Another Minute," "She's Playing Hard To Get")! Well, it's only kind of a return -- as explained here, the lineup includes two original members and three new ones. So the name's back, really. But, I mean, it's a really, really great name. You know you missed it.

Anyway, the album's out (it's available at least). Sample lyric: "I wanna marinate in your love / Marinate in your mind / Twenty-four/seven baby / Till you're well done, baby." Well done and getting better, boys. Thanks for the offer.

4. There's an intimate and revealing interview with me up at Manhattan Offender.

5. It's my very own cyber garden: since posting about My Chemical Romance's "Helena" video, the comments section has steadily flourished. Emo crybabies and mall punks alike have, in one way or another, found it and shared their respective horror and glee. A beautiful, life-affirming read.

6. And speaking of comments -- does Tyra have a friend in the world? Probably not, since one of the world's most reviled megabitches, Naomi Campbell, has drummed up an obscenely disproportionate amount of support and sympathy as the result of a showdown with Ty Ty.

Look, Tyra's sad. I hope you haters are happy.

Comments

[Ro1]

She looks like Coryn in that last photo!!!

One more proof that Tyty is as versatile as they come........

...........as she can look like a man.

RO1

[RO1]

OH!!! And I love Mariah........but that girl is the most digitally enhanced girl in the industry (next to Star Jones).........I'm sure they took a few inches off her face on that video like they did on her CD cover.

"Throwing things, crying, trying to figure out where the hell I went.......

WRONG......."

Go gurl!!!

[blowout comb]

Mariah Scary, you stuffed chipmunk you, please go away...

If only it were possible for a raging swarm of butterflies to gauge her eyes out.

[el]

i thought the same thing about mariah ... i love her to death and i think that her chunkiness is cute, but how do they make her look soooo different in the videos??

[fat asian baby]

mimi looks like she got taken out back and punched in the face a few times following the removal of her wisdom teeth.

[Arthur James]

Leave Mimi Alone, Haters Skaters! I have fallen under my thick butterfly's spell. I loved "We Belong Together", so much so I needed an intervention. And now I am as psychosick over "Don't Forget About Us". As far as I am concerned she is totes lovely in whatever wierd bodily video position she finds herself - perhaps you haven't lived until you've sung about your first love in a pool with your leg hanging out!

VIVA EMANCIPACION! :p

[Megan]

Bwa! Rocky Dennis!!! BWAHAHAHA...

I think the difference in Mariah is becuase of two things.

1) Digital retouching.
2) The poses that she's in during the video happen to minimize her chin... If you sit in a normal position and tilt your head down just the slightest bit it's *so* easy to create a double chin. Believe me, I know. :o(

And she might also be storing some food in her cheeks for later. Who knows!?

[kiki]

I think Mariah prob takes meds that make her gain weight, anyway, who cares, she looks healthy and fine and shes got a #1 CD. I think shes a lot more stable than a couple of years ago and should be commended for her comeback!

[Chris]

I.L.M. (Industrial Light and Magic) does post-production on all Mariah's videos.

[dude]

Something is wrong with her face & neck, she DID NOT look like that 2 weeks ago on the Vibe Awards! Botox DOES NOT make your jaw & neck swell up like that.

[Lola]

I love me some Tyra and I'm sure that Naomi being the coked-out MegaBitch Diva that she was (and maybe still is) did really try to mess Tyra up back in the day. However (and I'm not being a hater), that show really was a case of "when keepin' it real goes wrong." Yes you want to call a bitch out when she does you wrong, but you need to remember that Naomi Campbell always has and always will know how to WORK IT so her ass looks good.

[Carly]

Mariah's built like a linebacker... which I actually find refreshing in this world of skeletons. Indulge all you want, Mimi. Yer fab.

And Rich, I so hope that if I were in NYC, we'd be seeing In The Mix together in order to heckle it properly.

[Mciahel F. Gill]

"She's Playing Hard To Get" was a great single!

[Quel]

I'm officially addicted to your blog.

[Jesse]

eh. mariah's just fat

What's with the little doll next to Mariah?

You blog is the best...ANTM and kitties, could there be anything better?

[Summer]

I love Mariah. She's just thickened up a bit lately. And it's hard to hide that when you're live. Did you see her on the AMAs last night? I'm SO happy she's back! However, I am not as ecstatic about Hi-Five's return. LOL. It's not even the real group AND it's not a real album -- it's a XMAS one.

[Rich]

Actually, the Christmas album never came out -- I just linked to the press release because it explained the lineup. Their proper LP The Return is out and, uh, culinary.

[duane]

It is AMAZING what touch up artists can do these days. I don't believe anyone is real anymore!

[Summer]

Oh, thanks for the clarification. I went back and re-read. I'm sorry -- what does "culinary" mean -- is that good or bad? Keep in mind, I'm a former Hi-Five fan. I still have the cassette of their self-titled 'album.'

[brandy]

RE: Mariahs face:
Winter is coming so food must be collected and stored to last through the hard cold months.
or shes got the mumps, in which case get the girl a head wrap and some castor oil!

[erica]

I was watching Ellen wondering what the fuck was wrong with old girl...I mean her face looked lumpy. I'm just saying Mariah looked haggard. And in regards to Usher's floptastic "In the Mix," I knew it was going to be extremely terrible (maybe even worse than Glitter) when in the commercial the girl says to Usher in the middle of the club: "I heard black guys know how to dance." I'll be copping the bootleg on Fulton Street, yo!

[marlo_girl]

note, if you will, that mariah is usually filmed on an angle, and never dead-on. the resulting image is that of the svelte mariah seen in her videos. a full-frontal mariah usually results in the mr(s). potatohead you see in the maroon sweater.

and i'd love me a fiddy burger with a side order of abs to go, please.

and i don't even EAT meat.

rowr.

[voodoochild]

I don't know, but I thought Usher was good in The Gods Must Be Crazy. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080801/

BTW: Mariah, you swo' and we know it. Exhale already.

[J]

if you look at Mariah's body in the Ellen shots & I repeat, her body (not her face), it actually looks skinny and not all pudgy as her face appears. I think she's either taking birth control pills to prevent front getting pregnant by her fiance too soo or either she's been not eating or exercizing like she did in 2001.