Somewhere between Nick dropping Diana Vreeland's name and the unapologetic confessions from at least two male contestants revealing that they had years of experience in dressing Barbie dolls, ProjRun laced up its fuschia Sauconys to show that it was very much in the running towards becoming the GAYEST SHIT EVER. But for the millions of impossibly arched, tiny, plastic steps ProjRun took forward, it minced at least one back . . .
Another gay bites the dust. The confused and confusing Raymundo, who alternately claimed to be designing a dress for Barbie, little girls and little girls' mothers, is gone. No big loss -- his greatest design feat was getting the back of his hair to stand at a right angle.
1. Loved Kirsten's farewell letter:
Had she been taking lessons at the Tim Gunn school of emotional expression? Nice to know she was responding really, really well to her fellow contestants.
2. Speaking of emotional expression:
Andraé told Tim that he didn't ever want to seem vulnerable (after confessionalizing earlier in the episode that he didn't want to come off as weak). Right. Wonderful ways to butch it up and never let anyone see your vulnerable core include:
Engaging in a limpness competition with a giant roll of fabric.
And running through Times Square, arms out, to scare away pigeons. The flight of the fancypants.
3. That said, we all have our nelly moments, right, Spaulding?
This after he wanted to bet a beer on whether or not Andraé would cry again. Too bad Heidi pissed in his.
He went all, "Whachu talkin' 'bout, Heidiss?" after he was dismissed from the runway, and realized that he hadn't won the challenge. His crumpled design lost to Nick's, but I thought Chloe's did the best job in capturing Barbie's impossibly girlie vibe. Uh, not that I know what that means or anything.
4. We all have our Neely moments, too:
"I want a doll! I want a doll!"
For no particular reason, other than for the sake of flamboyance, there was a mad rush to grab a Barbie "muse" after the specs of the challenge were laid out.
But these weren't just any Barbies -- they were My Scene Barbies. My Scene Barbies, as their head designer, Lily Martinez, pointed out, are . . .
. . . "for an older girl that aspires to be a teenager." What about the self-destructive tweens who don't aspire to live beyond 12? Is there a Hard Livin' Trick-N-Sniff Barbie for them?
5. I'm never going to stop reminding you that I know virtually nothing about fashion and the few comments I have on what the contestants whip up are from my gut. In this case, my gut is churning:
How wack is this?
Seriously, I'm embarrassed for the doll:
Just because they sell Barbie at Wal-Mart doesn't mean she has to dress like it!
This came courtesy of Kara, by the way, who offers her very own flights of fancy.
She's straight out of a period piece, always a gasp away from the vapors or the bubonic plague or some shit. I'm not sure if I've ever seen a reality show character more irritating and high strung.
6. I'm lying. Of course I have:
He can't even be quietly observant without annoying. To wit, Chloe introduced us to the "Daniel Franco Shuffle": "When he design [sic], he actually looks at it. Pin it on, walks away, dance a little bit."
If only he were younger, chunkier and goonier, he could put some truffle in his shuffle.
7. Nick continues to be my boy. He used the phrase "wiggidy wack!"
8. I never realized that Heidi was kind of channeling Bobby in the promo spots.
More arms-out action! I love her more and more.
Heidi Klum: she's hip, she's cool.