fourfour: I'm dreaming of a Brown Christmas

Bbbchristmas_1

Hey girl.

Whitglamour

Oh, you got all dressed up for me?

Whitglamour2

Whitglamour3

You shouldn't have!

Whitglamour4

You too, Bobby.

Bobglamour

Lookin' good. Lookin' good!

For real: yikes. I'm assuming that this shit was filmed recently, hence the lack of decent sound, coherent promos or a discernible course of action (it really seemed like it was shot and edited during someone's lunch break, which, come to think of it, gave it a nice, so-fucked-up-I-can't-get-off-the-couch feel). But why, then, do Bob and Whit look messier than ever? Wasn't this show's airing a good thing for them? Didn't it give them their first real paycheck in two years? Couldn't they have, at least, bought a couple new wigs instead of finding them on the side of the highways of New Jersey?

Whitdaze

I think she's going for that B.A.P.s look.

But whatever, it's nice to see Whit acting so happy. Over and over and . . .

Whithappy1

Whithappy2

Whithappy3

Whithappy4

Whithappy5

Whithappy6

Get her around puppies, and she's ecstatic . . .

Whitecstatic_1

. . . in heaven . . .

Whitecstatic2

. . . literally!

Puppies

I have to admit that as good as it was to catch up with the Houston-Browns, Christmas With the Browns was a tad disappointing. We didn't really get to check in with some of the show's best characters.

Pop

Pop was relegated to a handful of split-second shots.

Notgary

That is not the Gary that I know.

And where the fuck was Skenecia? I mean, don't the Browns and Bravo know that the little girl practically has a cult that formed around her? Praise be to Skeneica! After getting Bob and Whit to sign on for this, finding Skenecia and getting her to attend should have been the first order of business.

Oh well, I guess we have to fake it.

Festiveskenecia

But on the positive side, at least Bob and Whit are still up to their old tricks.

"Oooooh, I wanna dance with somebody who may or may not be or have been physically and/or emotionally abusive."

Bobwhitdance

Bobwhitdance2

Bobwhitdance3

This dancing, by the way, was inspired by this choir of carolers that showed up at their door . . .

Choir

Nothing really gets that ass wigglin' like some tightly arranged white-bread acapella stylings of high school students.

Even more dancing from Whit:

Dancin

You want an alternate angle, you say? I thought you'd never ask!

Dancin2

In addition to dancing, Bob and Whit are still threatening each other at every turn.

Bobfist

Whithit1

Whithit2

And just flat-out annoying each other . . .

Whitflower

Whitflower3

That's a flower she's poking him with.

Whitfeet

Bobby says: "You got one big-ass foot. It look like both of your feet is just one foot." Pay no attention to the fact that this makes no sense, and instead concentrate on Bobby having no room to talk about anyone else's feet.

And, on top of everything, Bob and Whit are still scary as hell.

Scaryspasm

Their ways are not like ours!

Bobsanta

Bob says: "Kids, I wanna tell you: there's no such thing as Santa Claus."

Bobsanta2

That knife he's holding just makes it all that much more festive.

Oh, and BK is looking good and, obviously (if you listened to that clip), surpassing her parents in the realm of social responsibility.

Bkcheerleading

Uh, sometimes.

Christmasstory

Thanks for that, Bob! And thanks for brushing your teeth . . .

Bobbrush

. . . getting your hair done all nice . . .

Bobhair

Bobhair2

Bobhair3

. . . and for dancing like you're blind to accompany your (surprisingly solid!) singing . . .

Bobdancin

God bless them every one!

Familyportrait

I mean, that angle says more about how haphazard Christmas With the Browns was than I ever could. But whatever, I'd watch them sleep.

Although it's been said many times, many ways, Bob and Whit. I love you.

Bobspelll

Bobspello

Bobspellv

Bobspelle_1

LOVE.

Comments

It is tragic to see Whitney in such an awful state. What the hell happened to her?
It was not always that way, she was so talented, so beautiful and had so much promise. Ok, perhaps she took herself a bit too seriously but now she's nothing more than a recovering crack ho who looks like death warmed over.
Tragic

Posted by: Marie-Gingembre Brindamour | December 22, 2005 at 11:35 AM

Bob Brown looks like he was really into the Christmas spirits in those last 4 shots.

Posted by: brandy | December 22, 2005 at 11:40 AM

I missed it! I'm sure Bravo! will play it over and over again, though.

Hilarious stuff. I wonder if Bravo! knows about you (Rich) and now is sure to leave their promos for other shows up on the screen for a longer time?

Posted by: | December 22, 2005 at 11:46 AM

When Whit was playing the piano, was she...actually playing something? She looked as if she was about to pass out, and I honestly couldn't tell if she was playing a song or even playing music at all!

There was one scene, before Bobby knocked over the tin of gravy (...), where BK's white friend stood directly behind Bobby, picking at her food in horror, while Mr. Brown began to rant about Santa and Jesus and "whoever made up that story."

Bravo to Bravo. They provided a Christmas miracle.

And, personally, I cannot wait for the DVD.

Good show, good show!

Posted by: eliot | December 22, 2005 at 11:56 AM

This is a classic you can watch over and over again like "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE"!!!

Seriously though, like watching a train wreck!!! BB has RUINED the life of WH foreva!!!!

So So S-A-D!!

Posted by: Lysette | December 22, 2005 at 01:03 PM

Rich, there is nothing but love for you... Thanks for the great recap, as always...

I must say, I did notice that BK had lost a substantial amount of weight... sister is looking good!

When you said that Whit was going for a look from BAPS... I almost lost it.

Posted by: duane | December 22, 2005 at 01:06 PM

Am I the only person that read Rich's post documenting Whitney's freakishness from the get go? Bobby didn't ruin Whitney! Whitney is just being Whitney! Also, Tyra's facial expressions were kind of amusing during the Whitney sabbatical on Bravo ~ But Girlfriend can't compete with Whitney's awesome mugging. The second pic of Whitney poking Bobby with flower is gold, Jerry... Gold!

Posted by: Scout | December 22, 2005 at 01:14 PM

whitney was getting her crump on, no?

and, um, i fucks w/ bob's jacket. i liked it.

Posted by: summer | December 22, 2005 at 01:58 PM

Ok, when did BK turn into a valley girl? I mean it's nice to see a change in her, but let's keep it real

Posted by: Melissa | December 22, 2005 at 02:21 PM

you crack my ass up, dude. keep up the good work in 06.

Posted by: sweetney | December 22, 2005 at 02:24 PM

all-some recap! (i was talking to some sistah and her mom at rite-aid and she kept saying the xmas shit was "all-some," so it's my new fave word)

btw, wtf?!: why was bobby wearing a confederate soldier's cap?

Posted by: carlos | December 22, 2005 at 02:45 PM

AMAZING!

the highlight of my nite: the Whitney Houston one-shoed, two step with Bobby.

Posted by: zeze | December 22, 2005 at 02:49 PM

i liked what appeared to be whitney doing coke in the car, looking in the side mirror...

Posted by: corlin | December 22, 2005 at 03:15 PM

I just spent the last couple days reading your entire blog, and I just want to tell you that I think I love you.

Posted by: Sarah | December 22, 2005 at 04:26 PM

BK has lost a bit of weight. Think she's getting into her 'rents stash?

Posted by: chrisafer | December 22, 2005 at 04:34 PM

ROFLMAOOOOOOO

I am dyin over here, good lawd... you are great

Posted by: es | December 22, 2005 at 05:44 PM

Sarah ~ You THINK you love Rich? What's there to think about? What's not to love?

Posted by: Scout | December 22, 2005 at 06:33 PM

awwww hell-to-the-YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've only started reading this blog a few months ago to see the recaps of ANTM.. and (silly me) I thought the blog would not be as interesting since the show has ended. What the hell was I thinking??? BTW, I noticed how enthralled you were with Bre, and if you like smoky voiced black chicks come holla at me!!! *kiss*

Posted by: Erin | December 22, 2005 at 07:54 PM

I am so mad I missed this. The Houston-Browns are my favorite.coons.eva! Thanks for this recap....I hope Bravo will repeat this -- I am quite sure they will!

Posted by: Morena | December 22, 2005 at 08:22 PM

Oh Rich, thanks for the recap. I can't believe I missed the show. Poor Skenecia.

Posted by: Kim | December 22, 2005 at 08:52 PM

Pure brilliance, Rich!

This is what made you a star ...

Posted by: Kenneth | December 22, 2005 at 09:59 PM

Scout, you're right. I didn't want to come on too strong in my first comment ever on this blog, but who am I kidding. When I saw the "Um Ew" written all over Nicole's pictures from ANTM, I couldn't deny it any longer. Rich, you are awesome!

Posted by: Sarah | December 22, 2005 at 11:13 PM

You and these photos...where do you find them? You definitely caught Mary with all of her facial expression...lol

Posted by: my truth | December 23, 2005 at 01:57 AM

Lord, speaking of facial expressions...
That second shot of Whitney in spasm scared every bit of Christmas right out of me.

She looks like a zombie with osteoporosis.
For God's sake, what happened to her eyes?

Posted by: spazmo | December 23, 2005 at 05:50 AM

I am missing Skenecia a whole lot...bring her back right now

a quick question: what is that B.A.P.s look? please explain, thanks!

Posted by: Sh'ellaqqua - Skenecia's older sister | December 23, 2005 at 09:05 AM

Black American Princess. BAP's. There's a movie by the same title starring Halle Berry.

Posted by: Scout | December 23, 2005 at 09:43 AM

Is it just me or does Bobby Brown look like Flava-Flav in that picture where his hair is in cornrows and you see him from the back?

I bet they have the same crack dealer. Oh yeah, I forgot- crack is whack.

Bobby Brown is a serious fuck up. I waited on him one time at the cafe I used to work at in Atlanta. He wouldn't stay in his seat and kept walking around the restaurant to hit on these two 15 year old sluts and trying to impress (i think) people with his dancing.

But God bless his raggedy ass for tipping me $50 on a $40 tab.

Posted by: Sketchy Mess Jeoffory | December 23, 2005 at 10:29 AM

I love the Browns. I remember last season when Whitney voiced her concern about Bobby Kristina taking after the Browns. She is moving past her awkward stage...looking really good.

Posted by: Quel | December 23, 2005 at 02:27 PM

WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Xmas with the Browns!!!! I love Whit Whit!!!!!!!! I don't care if her wig is a mess, if she doesn't look her best, she is awesome!!!!!!! She is tha divuhhhhhh!!! She kicks all ass!!! That dance she did is the highlight of my Holiday, thanks Rich!!! Love you too, BOBBAY!!!!

Posted by: Carl Winslow | December 23, 2005 at 06:19 PM

Now that was the best recap on the entire planet. Thank you!

Posted by: princessdominique | December 24, 2005 at 11:27 AM

is anyone gonna talk about little Bobitney's ana/mia?! she SO has an eating disorder and i love her for it! christmas with the Browns was the Best.Show.Ever!

Posted by: Phoenix Rising | December 26, 2005 at 08:04 PM

johnny gill was once interviewed about whitney and bobby. he said that he's known whitney since they were both young and this is how whitney has always been: ghetto. its just that when she got famous, her handlers covered it up really well. she's always been the way she is with bobby behind close doors. sad, isn't it?

Posted by: blah | December 27, 2005 at 11:07 AM

The craziest thing about this show is that the Houston-Browns are much more believable as a family as other reality show families (including the Osbournes). They don't seem to take any of the wealth they have for granted and their kids seem really sweet and genuine. Maybe Bobby & Whit are nuts but they do appear to really love each other. Birds of a feather...

Posted by: Ally | December 27, 2005 at 12:09 PM

www.perezhilton.com STOLE ALL YOUR GIFS WITHOUT CREDITING YOU!

I hope you contact him.

you have one of the best blogs out there and you best get recognition!

xxx

Posted by: Samantha | December 29, 2005 at 02:37 AM

That picture where Whitney is either thinking or trying to take a crap? She just begged Bobby to dig that constipated doo doo out of her!!
Oh, and anytime I use a story, picture or a gif, I alawys give credits I get them from. Rich is in my blog about the two hawt kitties!!

Posted by: ChiliGurl | December 29, 2005 at 11:32 PM

Didn't plan it this way but just ended up watching Whit dancing for two minutes as Rick James' "Mary Jane" played on Rhapsody on my PC ... ok it works with "Atomic Dog" too ...and probably hundreds of other songs.

Posted by: M to the G | January 03, 2006 at 03:06 PM

Some celeb news I read this week:

This is not a happy new year for the Browns. Whitney and Bobby are fighting again, and this time Bobby is the one screaming, I've Had Enough! The tumultuous relationship between the two has reached the boiling point. Whitney had a run in with Bobby's mom, and Bobby took his mother's side. Whitney was fit to be tied and left Atlanta. Sources say she is back in New Jersey, and she may be on another binge. Bobby doesn't like the fact that his mom and wife can't get along. He's also not happy with Whitney's behavior. What is it going to take to save her? Can Clive Davis, her mentor, do it? Can her mom Cissy save her? Can Whitney save herself before it's too late? In other Bobby Brown news, his dad, Pop Brown, is in talks to film his own reality show. The show, Brown & Son, would feature Pops with both his sons, Bobby and Tommy.

Posted by: Insane n da membrane | January 07, 2006 at 09:29 AM

I don't even wacth Being bobby Brown but this makes me wants to. Seriously I'm crying right now- this was the most hilarious thing I've ever read. And I love your PR recaps =D

Posted by: Stephanie | March 09, 2006 at 05:41 PM

too late guys, over.
When I see this little girl at the picnic
Scekina (I don't know her name)just one shot of her (as well as the little nephew)
she looks flabbergasted and scared to death

I read somebody 's waiting or the DVD
god !! at least it might help kids not to dream about being famous.
money fame is not happiness, it just could be.

Posted by: serena | June 15, 2006 at 08:49 PM

whitney is a friend of my i know her very well and she will over come these demons but i dont think its right for people to tralk about her because you all dont really know what goes on you only know tyhe little that you see. i dont ever give out my e-mail buy i will do it this time

Posted by: terrell | July 14, 2006 at 09:36 PM

Terrell, if you are saying that we only know the "little " we see, please tell me there is more, like their camping trip?

Posted by: the robot | August 29, 2006 at 01:13 AM

Wow, I hope they create a DVD series. I am awaiting the opportunity to watch all of the episodes at once. Sex in the City with less of the envy!

Posted by: Rhonda Ntepp | September 17, 2006 at 12:33 AM