What, Zuzu worry?
I think Zuzu was unfazed by this week's elimination because she knows that around every corner, ultimately, magic and wonder are waiting for her. She's such an animal!
Or maybe she was just happily slipping into catatonia because of how boring this week's episode was. Seriously, is this show suffering from mid-seasonal affective disorder, or is it me?
This is what got Zuzu kicked off. It's ugly (but who cares?).
This, Daniel V.'s design, won. It's supposed to look like an orchid, and instead looks like a bulb of garlic (but who cares?).
This is Kara's design, which should have gotten her kicked off. It didn't even capture the charm of the highway strip (but who cares?).
This is Santino's design, which everyone compared to Austin's Grammy dress from last season . . .
. . . which I didn't care enough about to remember.
Boring. But then, what can you expect from an episode that purports to teach something like inspiration. Isn't that sort of like trying to teach someone how to be hungry or how to see in color? Next episode, get ready for a vigorous lesson in the art and craft of breathing. Should be intense!
1. You know it's a particularly slow episode when a contestant exercises her rights and creates a scaaaaaaandaaaaaaallllllll.
These are but some of the reactions to Zuzu's announcement that she'd be switching Rachel for another model and, furthermore, would need to see a walk-off between a few of the models. Apparently, this was inconsiderate, and according to a recent interview with Chloe, a compromise of integrity. Are these people easily flustered, or what?
And why the hell was Rachel so worked up about going with Nick, anyway?
He's much more of a favorite than Zuzu, and so, being with him is a much safer bet. And, if she hadn't gotten with him, her occasionally exposed ass would be headed for the chopping block next week!
2. But don't let Nick's expression lead you to think that he took this all in stride.
He threw shade all over the place after losing his model, Tarah. Seriously, he was like a fountain of bitch beer. (It's important to note that in a case of wonderful editing, as the above eye-roll aired, it was accompanied by Nick's voice over proclaiming Zulema "dramatic."
He went on.
And on and on. I love how he says it in that clip: "Zulema took my model." Tattletale!
This 'tude cloud hung over Nick for a big chunk of the episode, so that when Tim later told him that he needed to be ambitious, he got all, "Oh no he diiiiiin't."
But you know what? Angry is a really good look for him.
The bad news? You can't fuck him. Sucks.
Oh, but it wasn't long before Nick returned to his rather . . . effervescent ways. Once he realized that Rachel could walk competently, the bubbly flowed.
Looks like Zuzu's Rachel is not the only Rachel.
3. Not that everyone is so taken by her.
"She's like an elongated marshmallow. He has those Gumby legs. And she's such a stiff, walking," said Tim of Rachel earlier in the episode. Y'know, he's right. She looks just like that.
Could he be more dead-on?
The previews for next week's show indicate that Tim confronts him on this (rather good-naturedly). The shareef may not like it, but I do!
5. Chloe's still short.
Seriously. She's bite-sized. Or travel-sized. Whatever, I want to eat her on a road trip.
6. Makeup guy's still hot.
7. Jay's still Jay.
He was really so condescending to the contestants. Yeah, we know you've been where they were. We know you didn't take the Banana Republic deal. We're not so sure why you're still in bed with ProjRun. And, really, I'm not interested into watching any you-scratch-my-back shit because I don't like you in that way, Jay!
Seriously, people find him endearing? Why? How?
Could I be less excited about this?
No. Not even if I were the cigarette hanging from his lips.
8. I don't know what I'll miss more: Zuzu . . .
. . . or her Grace Jones obsession.
That shirt is seriously hot. Here's her source:
Oh, and did you know that she used to model? She was signed with Ford, she told the Today show this week!
You can pick your jaw back up now.
9. Be afraid: "santino" is coming to a sentence near you.
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he created that entry himself. But I can't knock it -- check how freely it flows off of the tongue.
Nothing comes out that easy for Heidi! Ever!
10. Linguistic transformation aside, Santino still can do Santino.
After the group had taken their pictures that were to provide the inspiration of their designs, Andraé was a little shocked at one of Santino's shots.
"How'd you get that?" he asked Santino, as though Santino had captured the unthinkable. The picture in question?
Santino getting flipped off? By a stranger? But he seems so agreeable!
(Added: And maybe he is -- one knowledgeable reader points out in the comments below that the last shot is actually a fairly well-known photo. It would seem that Santino took a picture of a picture. It makes sense -- if someone flipped him off in real life, he'd probably be too busy gearing up to eat their soul to reach for his camera.)