Larger than life

Have you met Dianne?

If you haven't, you're in for a treat. Dianne is one of a handful of teens profiled in MTV's instant-classic documentary Fat Camp, which premiered last week. A recap of the entire thing would be a monumental task, with all the XXX-sized drama and romantic subplots (a funny thing about fat kids: they hook up, too). Instead of doing that, I'm just going to focus on the genius of Dianne, since she's at least half the reason why Fat Camp is so great, anyway.

Television is full of annoying people, but none hit the spot quite like Dianne. Really, give me Project Dianne over Project RunJay any day.

There's no one like her.

Well, maybe Selma.

She's 14ish, home-schooled, diabetic . . .

. . . she's got one leg . . . OK, that's a lie. But she might as well for as active as she is. See, fat camp, as you may have guessed, requires its attendees to both diet and exercise (a revolutionary combination, really). Dianne is sort of forced into going to fat camp (her mother, who seems nothing but saintly, is a nurse at the camp profiled in the film). Dianne's less than enthusiastic about participating in activities. Like, this, for example, is as close as she gets to playing dodgeball:

See, no one does lazy like Dianne does lazy. I mean, she's cool, inside . . .

. . . and out. She's all hands-free with the cell phone while she "chills out" in the air conditioning.

What's she doing here?

Oh, of course: involving herself in the exhausting sport of video gaming.

She has to move her fingers, y'all. Can you blame her for needing to lie down to do so?

Truth be told, she's kind of a brat.

"I'm ready to go hang out with my friends and get away from my bitchy-ass roommates," she says. But who's going to hold brattiness against her when she uses a phrase like "bitchy ass?" Not me, for sure. For that one, I forgive her tantrums. Like the one she throws when one fellow camper tries to help her up from her chair, but effectively tosses her on the ground.

And here is the resulting fit.

And here is the resulting trip to see her mom in the infirmary:

"I've fallen three times and twisted my ankle four. I decided it was time to come see you," she announces. She twisted her ankle four times and still can walk. She's practically bionic. She just doesn't know it.

She also pitches a massive freak-out over her bitchy-ass roommates telling her she needs to shower. This is just the intro to the wailing (and towel-dropping exposure) that ensues.

But whatever. She's awesome and extremely crafty, especially when it comes to weight loss.

"I think I'm getting down to the lowest weight my body wants to be at. Is that weird? I've been working harder than I did when I came here, and I was losing more weight when I didn't work as hard. Maybe if I don't do anything this week, I'll lose, like, 10 lbs." Maybe! As long as you keep sharing that twisty, twisty logic with us, you can do whatever you want.

My favorite thing about Dianne, however, is her love of music. She's rarely without her headphones, but get her around live music and she flips out.

I'm not being remotely sarcastic when I say that there's something truly beautiful and enviable in her simplicity here. The band she's responding to isn't particularly accomplished, obviously:

But just the fact that it's music, just the fact that it's live, is enough for Dianne. She's truly inspiring. In a way, I'm jealous that she can get off so easily.

She's so wound up after the show that she feels the need to continue it.

Repeatedly.

Oh yes they are.

Besides weight-loss (Dianne ends up dropping 16 lbs., which is kind of great, considering her insistence on loafing), Fat Camp follows Dianne's social trajectory. See, she's been home-schooled and thus has a hard time connecting with kids. By the end, she's at least enduring human contact.

Hugs and happiness. Seriously, get her a sticker book or some puppies or a fuzzy pen or something.

Totally thrilled.

And what did she get out of the social experience? A lot!

"Camp has helped me get along with kids a lil' better. I still don't understand 'em too well. Just how, how they could be so stupid."

She's come so far to find herself. It's really touching. But really, Fat Camp is a triumph for Dianne. Despite her steadfast social awkwardness, despite her tendency to annoy mercilessly, she's the most compelling character in the whole film. It wouldn't be the same without her, and for hanging onto her individuality so foolishly, Dianne will forever be a patron saint of fourfour. This is my ode to her.

The end of Dianne's story is bittersweet:

But really, if she'd kept it off, how rock and roll would that be?

Such promise, such hope.

Some people see Dianne and say, "Why?" I see her and say, "Why not?"

Comments

[Fresh]

Dianne is my hero! I love Fat Camp. Do they have it on dvd yet? If so I know what I want for my birthday. But yeah, her falling outta the chair was classic. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!

[jason]

I say give her her own show...follow her through the trauma of freshman year...NO ONE will do the experience better.

[Ridwah]

I'm absolutely horrified. And IN LOVE! I just know she's going to grow up to be an even fatter, more rotten human being, and God love her for it. I mean, who else is going to give me a hard time while getting on the train/at the DMV/at the office copier/in the Snack Cake aisle? Why, it's America's new sweetheart, Dianne! Her mother should be proud as punch.

[a.]

ummm...does fat camp really work? Because most of those kids gained all the weight back.

[Gillan]

Oh, I'm really so happy that someone else saw this show and loved Dianne as much as I do! I hope and dream that mtv gives her her own show. I think it would be so amazingly awesome if they transferred her to Laguna Beach High School. She'd show those bitches how it's really done!

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

Rich i kid you not--
in the UK there's a show called "Tourette's Camp"

you can imagine what that's about. yeah.

[Rosie]

Man, Rich, I live for the stuff you write. I could not stop watching this roadstop in Dianne's life play out in front of me.

Simply. Thrilling.

Your writing never fails at sending me into hysteric fits of laughter that require me to be sent to the ER.

... I'll send you the hospital bills later.

[marah]

oh man, when the towel fell and everyone laughed, it was sort of heartbreaking.
but it was also like "hey, pull your towel back up. 13 year old girls aren't forgiving, and neither is the vast majority of the television viewing population.
poor dianne. i hope she grows up to be a productive adult.

[BrnEyedGirl676]

When Dianne was beached on the bed in the nurse's station, I was so confident that one of the hard-bodied, male camp counselors would drag her back outside.

Speaking of the buff counselors... I'm surprised you didn't post a picture.

On the flip side, you didn't indulge in posting any chunk pictures either. Such restraint!

[Tropico]

I LOVED her! I was hoping someone would pick up on her magnificence. You have to screen cap that "bitch please" look she gives to the camera when the helicopter flies overhead - classic!

[manhattan offender]

Your obsession with l'chunk continues ... but really, jeez, spoon to back of tongue and a box of ExLax and call me in the morning.

(And does Diane sort of look like Winston?)

[Jae]

manhattan---NICE OBSERVATION!! She totally has the Winston-face! Not quite the same range of emotion as Dear Winnie, but close.

[brandy]

Im going to download this tonight...what would I do without you Rich?
I will watch it after the cupcake challenge I downloaded.

[nicole]

Oh my god-this show was made for your commentary! I felt bad when I caught the part where everyone told Dianne she smelled, but this post showed me the bright side.
Lesson: Don't homeschool your kids, people! They all turn out to be anti-social freaks!

[jujubes78]

OMG I LOVE YOU, i watched this and she made me laugh my ass off. its sick that we tivo the same things.

[Brooke]

I could not stand Dianne. The sound of her voice is like fingers going down a chalk board. To me her mom needed to let go of the apron strings and kick her daughter in the butt. But I do love to watch Fat Camp.

[H]

Oh god, Rich, you crack me up! Hilarious entry. I need to see this shit!

[duane]

Rich, I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Laughing at a fat girl has never been more fun.

[Jacquie]

Once again, you enlightened me to something I would have missed, and gave me just the highlights I needed. We all need FourfourVO installed instead of TIVO.

From the animated clip she must have won dodgeball, she moved her leg an inch away, thus attempting to dodge.

I hope she writes a book offering her twisted logic on dieting and showering.

Thanks Rich!

[bh]

I love you!!!!! Diane is the best, I wish she was my best friend =(

[Just little me]

Everytime I see something on TV, laugh at it and then feel terribly guilty, I am 100% sure that a review of this something will pop up here. Omigod, Dianne was SO irritating! I love the sequence where she tries to get off the chair and falls on her face - the amount of crying and screaming that went on made me think that those kids were chopping her to pieces. And her face, always so friendly and welcoming! She's a people's person, so obviously.

[Trav]

Completely the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I was crying at the end. You nailed the depth of her miserable genius to a tee. Friggin brilliant.

[Chad]

I completely agree!! I love her! I want her to have her own show! I would watch it every day.

I loved this little show.

[Tipsy McStaggers]

Rich - This was the funniest commentary yet this year. Thanks - I am laughing hysterically here at my desk. I am so greatful to have found your site last year. You and Winston rock.

[Erika]

I have to say that is one of the best MTV shows I've seen in a loooong time. She cried a lot during that show. Especially when her bunkmates said she stinked and she dropped her towel in front of them showing her naked body and they laughed. You know you should feel bad for her...but laugh at the same time...I feel awful about that now.

[nate]

Diane was the only reason I held in for two hours of that show (on a Friday night no less). Awesome recap. I only wish you had included where she was showing off her new "curves" at the end of camp, she was so proud.

[Adam]

Lol. You did not just compare her to Selma.

[willam]

IT'S PAST THAT! i'm blind i'm blind!!!
this is the best show ever.
i love it when older fattie tried to make the pre pubescent pudgies kiss.

[aquaz1]

Oh Rich. I loved Diane. I just pitied that horrible, wretched little Chunkmonster so much. I'm not necessarily sure if having no friends is a result of her homeschooling or just plain bitchiness, but I just feel so bad. And you forgot about all the other awesome people of that show. Like Petey the Rapist.

[AuntTora]

Dodgeball? This is still considered exercise? I'm still suffering PTSD from my junior high gym teacher Mr. Hanken, who was also of the opinion that throwing balls at people was good healthy activity. Nothing like a little 'Lord of the Flies'-style role-playing to make fat kids feel even better about themselves! Thanks Mr. Hanken, for making me hate the very idea of exercise until a decade after junior high, when I discovered yoga, weight training, swimming and other physical activities that didn't make me want to curl up in a ball on the floor.

[Jen]

Thanks for introducing us to Diane. You never steer us wrong, Rich!

[Shamu]

Oh, she's from Alabama? That makes sense. I hear they do shots of bacon grease down South - straight, no ice.

[ROD]

OH MY GOD! This girl looks just like this girl I went to college with. And I swear to god it could be her! As soon as I saw this, I called a girlfriend of mine and said, "YOU'VE GOT TO GO TO MTV RIGHT NOW!" to which she replied, "OMIGOD I KNOW! I JUST PICKED UP MY PHONE TO CALL YOU! IT'S TOTALLY SARAH!"

[Brandon]

This is single-handedly the funniest review of any show EVER! I've just sent the link to everyone I know! whoo...I've been laughing uncontrollably for the past 10 minutes or so...

[jaime del rio]

speakin as a + size guy i hav to say this thing was kinda funny haha. but kinda sad i mean her attitude is soo nasty haha

[Ms. Peach]

I almost didn't listen to Sweethome Take 2, but I had a feeling it would change my life. And it did.

[Keisha]

OMG Tourette's Camp? GENIUS. Lol, Dianne was such an annoying bitch but made that show soooooooooooooooo funny. And Petey! PETEY! Petey talked sooo much shit, and then cried like a little biatch when they called him on it...and good old MTV for instigating, and showing all the footage of him talking his mess. LMAO.

Fat Camp - LOVE IT.

[Grant]

I have been reading ur blog since like November of 2005 but I never commented because I merely respected ur amazing entries from afar be it the project runway or your cat's blogs I've loved them all, I've watched Fat Camp 4 times now and I'm so thrilled to see you did an entry on it, and was petey not totally cute @ the end?! maybe it was just me :\ thanks four four! ur blog is my absolute favorite!

[Janie]

she should have "tooken a shower!" in the first place. i love it. i want more. "fat camp" can't be over because i've just learned to love it so.

[Arthur James]

I haven't seen the show/movie yet and now I have no need to....You are freakin brilliant, Rich, and that recap was as good as bacon.

xo

[ChiliGurl]

Rich, I saw this the other night too!! I SO wanted to kick Dianne in her fat head! And when she fell out of that chair, I wished I was there to kick her in the ribs! This brat needs her phone and video games and all that crap taken away from her big ass. And I can say all of this because I used to weigh a ton as well. She needs her ass whipped.

[spazmo]

It's true!
She's like an Icelandic funhouse mirror,
only with a couple of tons more fun!

And I guess you're fun, too Rich.
(Even though Dianne would probably snort in derision at your idea of "chunk".)

[PV]

Ohhh, prettty pretty Dianne, why so glum?? Perhaps it's because you have a tad bit of the diveil in you!? Work!

[Steph]

What I liked was her additions to "Sweet Home Alabama"....."Sweet Home Alabama, oh sweet home, Where skies are so blue, they really are!" Hahahahahahaha!

[tracey]

I LOVED THIS GIRL. I am glad you did a highlight on your website. I have been telling my sisters to catch the show just to watch her. She does need her own show. She is hilarious..

[kate]

I've been reading for a while now (ok, obsessively checking every day to see what new and wonderful commentary will pop up) but I NEED to comment on this post- I thought I was the only one that appreciated the genius that is Dianne. Bravo.

[Steph]

Did anyone catch what her shirt said? "@#$% my family, I'm going to go live with the Osbournes"....Awesome...she truly is rock n roll.

[Stacy]

Now I *know* her whole story can't be true. NO ONE enjoys their freshman year of high school.

[eliot]

Sorry, Rich, I don't buy it. I think she's rock 'n roll in a very "bus driver" kind of way, if that makes any sense.

[katie]

thank you thank you thank you! I totally watched this show (It kicked true life: I'm at fat camp's ass) and I couldn't even explain Dianne's weird mom and or sloth workout plan to anyone. Oh and the beached whale skinned knees montage. . . Though I haven't seen anyone post on Marisa's shirt ripping off reprimand. Should a counselor really be using the word pussy in front of 11 year olds? Oh why not? Thanks again for the recap magic.

[BOBO]

i dead inside almost 8.9 times. thank you so much.

[Kia]

she looks like she has an autosomal recessive disorder. she has no facial features at all. it's just skin. poor muscle tone, like people with Downs.

Or she comes from a very shallow gene pool. I'm going with option 2.

[Takeitoutside.BITCH]

Dianne was the only reason I didn't turn the station..LMAO!..Who has to tell you to take a shower? Seriously..that's disgusting. The apologies the 'bitchy ass roomates' gave were just as hilarious...

[steven]

what a fat piece of shit.

[Danielle]

That girl is the most disgusting piece of shit I've ever seen. The only reason I watched is because I was mesmerized by the massive blob of fat called Dianne. The fact that she lost 16 lbs. is amazing, considering almost every time I saw her, she was in the "beached-whale" position. It's worthless to waste the time trying to help someone like her.

[Elissa (Nigel's mom)]

Rich-

Your recaps are soo good. Check out this TWOP thread in which your Diane spread was posted. I made sure it was attributed to you.
http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3135835&st=315

love to Winston!

[Brandon]

While I was watching, I kept wondering how she could be so large - so round - but have absolutely no tits to speak of. Just bizarre.

[tipsymcstagger]

She is flipping fantastic. I loved, loved, loved it when she was telling another camper how she needed 'ointment' for her legs. I can only imagine what the ointment is for...oy.

[Toby]

OMG, I loved this episode! Thanks for recapping it so wonderfully.

Ahaha, I love that clip when she says that camp has helped her understand kids a "lil'" better. Good captioning on the "lil'", Rich. She talks like a fat kid should talk - gotta rouuund out those "littles". Good catch. I like that.

please please PLEEEEEEEEEASE do a recap of the fat doc. it was fucking hysterical and you could do wonders with it.

[vixyn]

I am so glad u did this! She was fing hysterical do u know who she looks like? The monster boss in Disney's Monster Inc. who is always on Mike for his paperwork!

[Trey]

Dianne is Tone-Def. My ears were bleeding as she sang the song. I think Lynrd Skynrd should sue her

[gayest neil]

You better send your babies to Fat Cat Camp.

[Sara]

HILARIOUS! I was just laughing so hard my coworker came over to see what all the fuss was about. Very funny post. Let's just hope MTV comes out with a sequel.

[johnny]

Rich - I can see why you focused on Diane...I mean, Star, capital "S". But nothing on the most annoying lump to passive/agressive his way across my TV screen in years, Petey?

I had to FF the TiVo when he was getting all Chi Chi LaRue, trying to direct kiddie porn with those two 10-year old kids.

[largeheartedboy]

Documentary of the year, I watched it twice! The only thing better was this post.

[bethanne]

oh rich, you are my personal hero for this entry. (and yeah, i'm a kiss-ass)

i watched fat camp on sunday and loved it. dianne = diva. not "diva" as whitney or santino, but diva in her own right. and fucking hysterical to boot. i'm so hoping this comes out on dvd - or reruns on MTV so i can tape that shit!

and even though you probably didn't suffer through it, it would have been a hoot to go through project jay, but i'm excited to see you dissect guadalupe's drunken speeches. girl had a BIG cocktail and i was like "no wonder she got insanely shitfaced!"

[Johnny Mac]

How about the REALLY dorky kid that came up to her an made the quote "yeah.....Alabama...that's what its all about". Poor kid is struggling just to get a word in with the camp loser......and she shrugs him off.

[Foxy]

Oh, Richie. I do love you, but you totally got overshadowed by the mere idea of Tourette's Camp.

[Sara]

My brother dated Marissa, and apparently Dianne is really that off kilter.

[Rebecca]

I'm glad other people fell in love with Dianne...I laughed so much it hurt when I first watched "Fat Camp"...and then I felt like a horrible person. And who can forget Petey? That boy deserves a fourfour of his own.
Just as a sidenote in response to bethanne's comment about guadelupe... that girl wasn't drunk...them's drugs i'm thinking, and not your garden-variety green stuff.

[MJ]

Regarding Dianne's quick dismissal of Alabama (when she was asked if she was actually from there): Listen, Galaxina--we don't want you. We have plenty of irritating, morbidly obese, socially-malformed home-schooled freaks already. Thanks, though!

I'm not sure if you saw this interview of Tim Gunn by out.com: http://www2.out.com/detail.asp?id=16699

[Michael]

That gif of Dianne playing dodgeball is just about the funniest thing I have ever seen.

[Jackie Danicki]

Someone put the Sweet Home Alabama clip on YouTube:

http://tinyurl.com/p36jb

Heeeee!

[Tuesday]

God I loved that special. I could watch it all day long.

[E.]

You know who Dianne looks exactly like? Your cat. That angry cat.

[Andy]

You are an asshole for further degrading a 14 year old child who was obviously let down by her family. I hope that you choke on your own venom.

Best wishes

[Rich]

And you're illiterate. This is a fucking celebration of a girl whom I'm sure has never once been celebrated in her life.

[Debbie]

My first time here and you had me at "Have you met Dianne". Excuse me while I pick up my ass, cuz it fell off from my laughing so fucking hard.

[Taylor]

How can I download Dianne's qoutes onto my computer or mp3 player? The girl is my idol. Send me an email at spamstinks2003@yahoo.com.

[m8]

Does anyone know if Dianne has a myspace page, 'cause I soooo wanna be her friend!
Love her!

[Shae Meisner]

I think that Dianne made the TV show "Fat Camp" I think that they should make a show of her own! I also was wondering if Dianne had a myspace page? I love her! and I would like to be her friend and talk to her.

[Poppy]

Thank goodness I found your post! I felt so awkward secretly liking and hating Dianne at the very same time and wanting to go to Fat Camp so that I could have an awesome chubby social life! (I did tell the hubby that I wish I'd gone to fat camp as a kid, it looks like so much fun!!) I hope Dianne becomes a mini-celeb and we can idolize her for years to come. :)

[ellie]

I love your portrayal of Dianne. She truly kicked ass with her rendition of Sweet Home Alabama Wow, what a testament to homeschooling! You should add in the part where she's tanning (?) and her friends ask her to go on this water ride thingy and she's all "No thanks, I don't feel like dying today." Not to be cruel, but did anyone else think at first that the helicopter was dropping food? Maybe I'm just weird...

[tiffany]

as soon as I saw her picture I almost died laughing! thanks for the recap

[heidi]

I love bloggers, without them I wouldn't have found you. And you are fucking hilarious!

[james]

My brother summed it up best, when he said this girl definitely has a future career with civil service: fat, bitchy, and stupid.

[Kim]

After a few minutes of her, I thought of a saying my friend and I have-

"if she was any lazier, they'd have to put her on a ventilator so she'd have something to breathe for her"

[Sarcastic Journalist]

That show FREAKING ROCKS. That girl is one of the best reasons to watch the show but really, she creeps me out.

Hi everyone –
I’m new to the forum and wanted to first say HI to everyone, and join in the discussion:

Maybe I should be completely ashamed of myself, but I could not get enough of the Dianne debacle. I also posted part of this on the TVWoP website, but I feel strongly enough about this to post here too, so sue me.

I’d like to offer the following .02:
First and Foremost: someone needs to get her the F&*K away from that mother of hers.

Want to KNOW how she lost 16 lbs with a documented lack of physical effort?
She stayed on her meds and her mom was not permitted to shove pop tarts down her throat. The scene on the stairs where the head camp counselor confronts the mother really emphasized the mother’s true motivation.
I have major issues with the mom. She’s raised a little girl completely dependent on her physically and emotionally. OF COURSE Dianne has diabetes! She’s approaching morbidly obese for her height percentile and age. What mother who actually cared about her daughter would allow her to GET to that weight? Who do you suppose buys the groceries in that house? Probably not Dianne. Being home schooled, the poor kid is trapped and would never have a moment to SNEAK OUT for a carrot or a piece of tofu. Who at 14 years old takes that many meds? One with a nurse for a mom, that’s who. The mom (IMHO) is a WACKJOB. She is an excellent candidate for a Munchausen’s by Proxy diagnosis. Dianne’s dad, (even though he came off like kind of a dick) knew he had about 15 seconds of on-camera time to make his point about the mother being an enabler, and he used every bit of it beautifully. Her father just needs to grab his nuts and send that girl away to boarding school, NOW before Richard Simmons has to do an intervention with the 18 year old, completely immobile, 700 lb Dianne where HE asks her who’s giving her the food.

Her crappy attitude is a direct result of being so completely out of the social stratosphere. She may very well be depressed solely for lack of peers. What teenager wants to hang out with her parents all day? When I as 14, I couldn’t stand my parents. IMHO the reason she has such a hard time relating to anyone else, let alone fitting in is that no one else has ever lived her little alien life, and can’t relate. She puts the other kids down and invites teasing because she isn’t around anyone long enough to understand normal behavior to respond correctly. She’s not given a chance to have ANYTHING in common with other kids her age. Did anyone else notice she was ALONE almost all the time, like maybe she’s USED to that? And when she wasn’t alone everything that came out of her mouth was needy and would distance her from the other kids? You get the sense she didn’t know how to behave at the concert because she’s never been to one until now. Or maybe her nauseating attention whore encore of “Sweet Home Alabama” was because it was NEW MUSIC to her? It was cringe worthy. I heard myself repeatedly say out loud, “SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!”
So sad that a little outing like that could get her so worked up. Seemed like she hadn’t been out for a moment of fun in ages. Most people have to be drunk for that kind of display. Just be careful and don’t vote her Prom Queen. She’ll burn your gym down.

Dianne deserves the same opportunity as other girls to learn how to a) sneak out a 2nd floor window after curfew, b) roll a joint, c) throw a punch or a bitch slap, and
d) make a friend who is going to drag her to a few frat parties and teach her how to beer bong.
Does anyone know why her mother has been home schooling her for the past year and a half? I’m not buying the early onset puberty excuse – if she’s 14 at the time of the show and she was taken out of school a year and a half prior, that would have made her about 12 at the onset of puberty.

What’s abnormal about hitting puberty at 12? Nothing.

And finally:

Petey, Petey, Petey.

Another Danny Bonaduce waiting to happen. Knows the meter is running on his 15 minutes, and wants every last bit of chocolaty goodness before it’s over.
Let’s just keep it real for a second about the major GAY VIBE this kid gives off: Puka shells, Fauxhawk, designer caps and sunglasses, sappy notes, making other people “projects”, gossiping with the girls, and ALL THAT bitchy trash-talk.
No straight guy could hope to escape getting his ass kicked behaving like that.
What a queen.
He seems SO genuinely pathologically disturbed. Not for being gay, for being a total liar with no acquaintance with consequences. Just more histrionics…

I’ll be taking my first class seat on the bus to hell now.

Thanks for reading.

[michelle]

LOVE! the dodgeball clip, HA!

[Nit]

DIANNNE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Erin]

I need more Fat Camp! That was some entertaining shit. And Diane? Finally, the poor girl can go to school and complain to other people her own age. Finally, her mother cut the umbilical cord... we can only hope.

[Lee]

Diane is the kind of person that if you know her in real life you probably see that she's a lot less 'charming' than she would seem on tv.

But honestly, the best part of her on Fat Camp is when she's walking back to her bunk after the concert, and some kid is like..so youre from Alabama? & shes like, NO. then keeps right on singing Sweet Home Alabama & rocking out by herself. LOL

BTW- the best aprt of Fact Camp for me was the main guy, who called the girl a slut, and ACKNOWLEDGED it was just because she wouldnt have him. Ugh, I really want Marrissa to get her comeuppance.

[Stella]

I love this blog about Dianne! Everytime I read it I laugh out loud. Dianne is one of a kind for sure. She made the show. They need to have her on a MTV show all by herself. Re-run of fat camp is on again on March 11th, I need to tape it so I can watch it over and over.

[Jen]

You are absolutely amazing...that is all

[christine]

dianne is the most amazing person. she totally deserves her own show!!! i looooveee herrrrrr

[emily]

Masterpiece! Will you marry me? Show me all that you know? I am in love with you for this !

i think shes fat

I LOOOOOVE DIANE

"This weird girl keeps saying hi to me"

::diane's up the hill::
"WHATS UP?"
"Uh...chillin"

SOOOO FUCKING GOOD.

..."I dont feel like dyin' today"

[inspector gadgot]

dianne= hero for life.. she made the show and whats up with mtv not playing it ne more.. i mean they play everyother piece of crap but not fat camp.

[mary alex]

diane is the bomb. she should definitly have her own show. and she lives in mississippi! rock on

[allyson]

OMG Fat Camp needs to be on again. If anyone knows where i can dowload it or if it will be on again please post and let me know. Diane wow she is my hero!

i love that girl she fuckin makes the show

[Maverick Awesome]

Best Quotes from this fine young lady:

"I decided to opt out."

"Are you from Alabama?"
- "No! But I can rock like I am!"

"I think my body is happy at the weight it's at."

[Ashten/Maddie]

uhm basically diane is the real triumph behind fat camp,anytime she comes on their you have to laugh your ass off,your article was the funniest shit i have read in a long time,i'd love to see a follow up on that belupcious beauty :-)

[casey]

hahahahhhahaha ok i am in LOVE with diane... the first time i saw the show was the sweet home alabama episode and a couple of friends and i laughed about that for ever and this just made my life complete... ROCK ON DIANE... sweet home alabama baby

[amanda]

I recorded Fat Camp on my DVR so I have the joys of Diane right at my fingertips.
This little character does need her own show!!!!

[Laura Allen]

Laughed the entire way through. Loved the sarcasm, humor and thought put into this. Kudos. Do you, by chance, know where I can get the episode on DVD?

In the spirit of Dianne the Almighty, "I need ointment for my leeeegs."

[Jana]

Ok- so i'm completly excited that other people find Fat Camp as amazing as I did. I DVRed it the night it premiered and then successfully showed it to every single person i could find that would enjoy it's humor. My friends and I quote it on a daily basis. At first you might be like, "hmm is laughing at someone else's expense the nice thing to do?" and it's probably not, but after watching the MTVdocs production you just really don't care.

[Jasmine]

thats kinda sad you ganged all the weight back..!!!!!!!!!!!

[Patrick Austin]

Does anyone have a copy of this they could make me, I need it in my life! E-mail me at patrick.austin@citcomm.com if you could make me a copy of this, PLEASE!

[B]

Does anyone know if she is on myspace or facebook? WE NEED TO FIND HER! MY OFFICE IS OBSESSED WITH HER!!!

[Furious George]

I'm with Patrick Austin, (nice double first name) I need Diane and Fat Camp in my hands to watch on a whim and to share its glory with everyone i know. If someone could make a torrent and seed this baby you would instantly become a god in my eyes.

[MARGAUX]

OMG I LOVEEE FAT CAMP!! I WANT TO PUSH DIANE OVER!! I ALSO LOVE ASHLEY AND AMANDA AND I WANT A COPY OF FAT CAMP TO WATCH WITH THEM!!!!

[jessi]

dont have cable =( where can i see this???? can someone send it to me????

[a girl.]

i want to attend a "fat camp" this summer. but i dont know anything or the where abouts of em. any one have any info?.. send it to me if so punk_4_life_10@yahoo.com

[syndey]

i think that you are all fat losers lol go on a diet fatty lol, a fat camp hahahha. you all probly have five chins & and cant see your toes when you look down lol.

truly,
syndey lol

[your flub]

hey i agree with what "a girl" said lmao you fat asses go on slim fast you pudgy basterd... ahhhhhh OH HENRY!!!

[christina and kyle]

i really liked dianne she was a really cool fat girl. i have never laughed so hard at some one falling flat on their face! i wish there was more fat people in the world!

[Maggie]

AMAZING WEBSITE. completely captured my opinions about dianne. I almost pissed my pants. Thank you.

[Liam]

dose anyone know if she is going to monroe woodbury school now?its a big school but i think i see her ALL THE TIME!

Umm...I TAPED FAT CAMP!!! I RULE!!!

[Furious George]

Liam! you must transfer that taping into a digital format and then put that baby on the internet to share with the masses.

[ANNOYNMOUS]

WHAT A FUCKING FATTASS. HEY YOU UGLY BITCH HOW ABOUT YOU TRY LOOSING SOME WIGHT??? I MEAN COME ON YOU FAT ASS BITCH!!!! YOUR WEIGHT IS SICKENING

[sara and kat-your biggest fans]

dear diane, we are your biggest fans. we made shirts with you on there. you insprire us to be thin and beautiful like you. you are the greatest person alive, and we're glad that we watch the show to see a person like you with such great potential. we love you diane. love, your greatest fans. sara and kat

UMMMM ATTENTION EVERYONE; WE ARE THE BIGGEST FANS OF DIANE. NOONE CAN BEAT US, SO DONT TRY =]] love kat and sara

[Natalie Fowler]

i really need clips of Dianne!! can someone please help me find them.. I am her NUMBER 1 Fan!!!!

[Mango]

Hi Rich,

I originally found your blog when I heard rumors that there was a Diane web site and I *had* to check it out. Well you DID NOT disappoint. The sound clip and animated gif are priceless! I had to check back to relive the glory of Diane all over again.

My favorite Diane moments:

1. The towel-dropping scene obviously. That was the best TV I've seen in the last 2 years. The best was when the other campers were giving their forced "appologies." "Diane, I'm really sorry your towel fell and we all laughed at you. I hope you have a better day tomorrow."

2. When Diane falls out of the chair and just lays face down crying for what seemed like an eternity. I mean, did she even brace her fall? The arrows are a nice touch.

3. Sweet Home Alabama. DUH-NANAH-NANANAAAAA!

[Martta]

Yanno, if she lost 50 lbs., and got contacts she would be decent looking. She does have a pretty face. What a shame.

[Amber]

Dianne is on MTV RIGHT NOW! Tues, May 16 2:00 pm EST

And so far, I have learned that she "doesn't like to take a shower in the daytime." The only way this show could be more fabulous is if Jade from ANTM was a camp counselor.

[Jade4u]

Dianne looks like she has Cushing's Syndrome. I hope her doctors will wise-up and decide to test her for it.

[expired ham]

For those of you who don't know what Cushing's Syndrome is, it's a developmental disorder, wehn you start gaining a physical appearance much like the things that you sit on.

End Italics

[kmartta]

I'd like to get that rendition of "Sweet Home Alabama" as my cell phone's ringtone.

[Jade4u]

Cushing's Syndrome, named after the surgeon Harvey Cushing, is a potentially deadly endocrine disorder. http://www.csrf.net/AboutCushings.htm

[M. Novak]

Diane is a superstar.

[Connor Ingersoll aka TIRD]

ya shes a fuckin fat ass forget her

[Cortney]

Hi guys, i just think that what your doing to dianne is really wrong. Shes my friend and she's seen this site and cried herself to sleep every single night. Now she's quite sucicidal! I've caught her at least 4 times.. okay mabye 7 but thats not the point. The point is that shes a big piece of flesh that needs lots of loving! So give it to her! just give it to her!!!

thanks for your consideration. I love you all. love cortney

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