Torture soul

Totally obsessed.

See, when I say "obsessed," I mean repulsed and seething to the point where hating Taylor Hicks has fast become a hobby.

He is disgusting.

I should say up front: fuck American Idol. The show is a horrible vacuum that sucks you in and scrubs your brain of your initial ha-ha-ha-a-singing-competition-that's-so-fucking-gay-how-could-I-not-watch contempt, so that you're left caring about the show and its outcome, even though the most reliably entertaining thing about it is Paula Abdul's nightly struggle through her pill-induced haze. I hate this shit. I hate that the show effectively gloats: "You will pay attention to me. You'll watch me on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Thursdays for hours and hours and hours as I stretch myself as long as possible so as to maximize the money I can bring in for everyone except the winner, whose $1 million contract will be used up by the time they've wrapped filming their second video. You love me and you know it." Fuck that.

So, that said, I find myself drawn to this year's competition. I hate myself for it. To reconcile this interest with my soul, I've been watching it on fast forward, stopping to admire Ann Nesby's granddaughter (however misguided she might be -- the song is "Midnight Train to Georgia," not "C'mon Ride the Train," so cut the bouncing, Junior Miss) and to masturbate to Chris Daughtry. And, of course, stopping to put everything else in the world on hold to revel in my hatred for Taylor Fucking Hicks.

Look at the way he holds the mic. Douche! Also, look at that sincerity. You know why he's so sincere? Because he's singing Elton John's "Levon," which, he says possesses family values. It was at this point on Wednesday's show, his pre-performance explanation, that he went from douchebag to vaginal suppository (if you've got a strong stomach, the Malcontent has video of his tragic performance). First of all, the song's lyrics are oblique and about the only thing that's certain about them is that the character of Levon and his son, Jesus, do not have a good relationship ("And Jesus, he wants to go to Venus / Leave Levon far behind / Take a balloon and go sailing / While Levon, Levon slowly dies"). I don't think Jesus really values his family. Taylor is an ass.

Second of all, and most importantly: family values? So, he's using his straight-outta-Alabama, misinterpretive skills to spread the gospel of the Christian right? Is he aware of how loaded a term "family values" is? Is he aware that "Levon" was performed and co-written by a real, live, cock-inhaling homosexual? A real, live, cock-inhaling homosexual whose December marriage flew in the face of those very family values? Does he know these things?

Probably not. He's too busy being soulful. And seemingly handicapped.

The truth is that this guy bugged me long before he opened his mouth. I don't believe the Idol site -- I just don't believe that he's 29. He looks like he could be the father of a 29 year old, and he has the music taste to prove it. As is favorite male artists, he lists Billy Joel, Van Morrison and Bob Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...oh, sorry. My head hit the keyboard when I fell asleep while typing that because he's so fucking boring.

He's so fucking boring, he gave himself narcolepsy.

And of course, the aged-beyond-his-years looks combined with the tics and questionable mental capacity have won him a massive following. His thread on the AI Television Without Pity forum is currently the longest. Some of the bleeding hearts that make up his online following call themselves the Soul Patrol (their Yahoo! group is here, and their Frappr! is here). And Taylor is aware of this, as he gave them a shout-out after singing Wednesday. "I have fans! You all love me! Tee hee, tee hee!!!"

Seriously, the Soul Patrol? That's like calling a Celine Dion fanclub the Assalamu'alaikums. If a gruff voice and feigned conviction equal soul, fucking Winston should cut an album with Anthony Hamilton.

And fine, Taylor Hicks can carry a tune (even if it's by slinging it over his shoulder as he crookedly saunters around the stage). But American Idol is about crafting people into brands and everything about this guy, besides the singing (which, y'know, I hate hate hate, but it's mostly because it's not my cup of tea and not because it's unskilled), everything else is abhorrent. Like the way he gloats when he's finished performing.

Or his inappropriate harmonica playing.

Or his onstage antics with Ryan Seacrest.

Is he aware that he's cavorting with (someone who's suspected to be) a real, live, cock-inhaling homosexual?

No, but Taylor's for real. He's in it for the music. He's busting his buns. Whoo!

Really, show, don't tell, you asswipe. This guy is full of shit. That's nothing new for pop music -- I just find his brand of shit particularly odious. It's inspiring, though. He's inspiring -- his lifted leg gave me the idea to piss all over him . . .

He brought it on himself, see?

Comments

[chenxin827]

i like taylor...

[Ambre]

Chris Daughtry can butter my biscuits any time he wants!

[waving/drowning?]

I was wondering whether it was just me... I admire your almost autistic devotion to your obsessions... You're right of course.

[Roma]

Hello Rich and thanks for great article. Taylor annoys me but he is more entertaining then some of the other people on the show. Don't you think? What do you think of Gedeon? Uggggh.

[J]

You make me feel so less alone in this world!

[manhattan offender]

Dear Mr. Four,

Please remove your derogatory comments regarding our lord and savior, Taylor Fucking Hicks, from your site at once. Otherwise, we will use mapquest to figure out where this 'brooklyn' place you claim to be is and come to your door for a forced pig-picking.

With the love of Crisco in our hearts,

Natalee Holloway
(in no way related to the horrid Loleatta Holloway, I assure you)

[Shelley]

I like him, sure he may have Tourette's, but that makes the show more interesting!

[brandy]

I honestly thought that this guy was put on as a joke. Like "god they totally ate that Clay Aiken shit up lets see if we can out do ourselves."
I havent even heard him sing just looking at him makes me want to scream directly in his face every time he speaks.
My friend apparently thinks I sound and look like Katherine McPhee. I have yet to see the show so Ill have to take her word for it. I dont think I look like her though.

[Mr. Prince]

I highly doubt Taylor Hicks is that young. But i do love that Chris Daughtry. He's from a place called 'McLeansville' XDDDD he sure is, but I hope he's not lean everwhere. XD ^.~

[Vicki]

Doesn't Will Makar look just a bit like pre-chunk Fred Savage as Kevin Arnold??

Rich I love you - keep doing what you do.

[JenKatz]

You are too fucking funny! This guy went from douche to vaginal suppository... Ouch!

[eliot]

He is so not 29.

[Courtney]

I'm laughing so hard I am crying. Taylor Hicks looks like the retarded love child of Mark Cuban and Jay Leno.

[Foxy]

How can anyone hate Gray Haired Dude? Yes, he's a total freaks show. Yes, I don't want to hear his album. But it's because of both of these things that he makes an ideal Idol contestant. He can actually sing, he's amusing in that from-another-planet way, but I won't care when he gets kicked out.

[Your Mom]

What the fuck do you know, you're just another goddamned fag.

[E]

Thank God I'm not the only one - this wanker pissed me off the second his did his lame-ass Stevie Wonder blind harmonica impression in front of the judges at the sit-down. I was embarrassed Grr. What a pain in the arse. Also, can we talk about the hair? What works for George Clooney doesn't work for you, douche-bag. And those caterpillars resting above his eyes, again I'll use a similar method of comparison - what works for freaking Burt Reynolds does not work for you dickhead, ok?? He makes me feel dirty, and not it a good way. I need to wash my face with a hot flannel after watching him, just to feel clean and pure again. Even then I feel I'm stained with his dirty greyness.

One question though - I'm know he's from the South, but has he actually said something that indicates he's a right-wing Conservative, or are we just presuming this? We're a few weeks behind here, so I might have missed some bold (for 'bold' read 'bigoted') statement he may or may not have made. Not that it matters whether he did or not anyway, because I'd still set the dogs on him if I saw him the street on account of that face regardless.

E xxx

[Y]

Randy loved his "innappropriate harmonica playing."

You kill me in the best way, man.

[Saun]

I don't even know what he sounds like b/c I fast forward through him everytime. I thought the age limit was 28. He is a man with a head full of grey hair on a show geered towards teenagers. I can't take him seriously. I'll count on the legion of 12-16 year olds to vote him out in the next few weeks.

[duane]

This is a level of hatred I have not experienced before. Thank you!

Rich, I know I have told you many, many times... but you rock.

[johnny]

:::A real, live, cock-inhaling homosexual whose December marriage flew in the face of those very family values? :::

Shouldn't that be "May/December marriage"?

Oh, you meant the actual DATE.

[Rich]

E - My "right wing" accusation comes from him invoking "family values." That's conservative enough for me!

[Whitters]

his straight-outta-Alabama

Please do not judge all of us Alabamians by this man-child.

[Braun Pommelhorse]

I noticed the family values comment as well. I don't really think he has any sense of how loaded it is .. at least that's what I told myself.

What I really think is pissing so many of you off about him is that he turns you on despite all his flaws.

Admit it, he's kind of hot in a totally opposites-attract manner. And when I say that I mean he's pretty much the opposite of everyone - hence the large, lusty fanbase.

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

even though the family values comment irked me (as any use of that insipid phrase does) i have to say...i like him. Liked him from the auditions.
i think he's got a good sound (bit too joe cocker, but that's not a bad thing) and even though he strikes me as slightly Aspbergers-y....i think he's cool.

[Day Dreamer]

I enjoy Taylor and think he brings something special to the show. However, even though I don't agree with the content of what your wrote I really like your writing style. You did make me laugh!

[Merideth]

Finally, someone else who hates this guy. Enough with the Ray Charles twitching!

[Lee]

I like Taylor. He's not as bad as y'all think. But I was so hoping that Funeral Guy from TEXAS was gonna make it :( He was HOT!!!

[Lee]

...btw, anyone catch his name?

[Damn Yankee]

Sorry, Whitters... but your fellow Alabamians (Diane from Fat Camp, this douche, and stupid Heide S. from ProjRun) sure give the impression that there's something toxic in the waters down there.

[NV]

I have to admit that I really like Taylor's voice. But there is something to be said about the fact that the dude looks like he's 45. That's not Idol material. I don't think we have to worry about him making the final cut because he doesn't have the marketability.

[Carl]

I don't him but you make me hate real hard.

[Distressed Jeans]

Im sending him a box of Nice N' Easy, stat.

[ayumi]

four four you rock! hey, how come you're not covering that flava flav dating show? you should, it's a riot.

[Monica C.]

I HATE "American Idol"! I think all watchers of "American Idol" DESERVE this Taylor Hicks person!! (evil grin)

[EB]

It made me sick when he was immitating Ray Charles' twitch. But then I liked his performace this week, and thought it was redeeming that he didn't take himself seriously. There's at least a chace that the "family values" remark was ironic. Or at least benignly vapid.

He is good TV, though. With each second, he's *this* close to reaching new levels of making an ass of himself in front of millions.

Oh my god. It's so humiliating that I cared enough to write this much.

This is a desperate cry for help.

[raphaela]

THANK YOU!

[Arthur James]

*sigh of relief"

i hate him too. that bastard makes my stomach hurt and my teeth itch. i am just waiting for that closet psycho to go into a rifle rampage and wipe out all of the contestants. which, lets admit, wouldnt be a bad thing. as long as he leaves the chocolate sisters alone. they all my favorites.

in other news: PLEASE check this (my most recent guiltiest pleasure is "flavor of love"):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk40LnxZraY

this is the most brill scene of a reality show (pause) EVER! even better than what that "alcoholic bytch" on antm served. wut, wut?

[gabunny]

>even if it's by slinging it over his shoulder as he crookedly saunters around the stage

>He's inspiring - his lifted leg gave me the idea to piss all over him

ROTFF, LMMFAO!!! oh, shit! I think I just pissed myself reading that!!

BTW, I find his weird twitching less Ray Charles, more Joe Cocker circa 1981.

[Ken Levine]

Great post. I did a big rant on AMERICAN IDOL in my blog too and said that the one good thing about him and his seizures is that it reminds me to Tivo HOUSE.

[EB]

gabunny: his regular jerks are all Joe Cocker. But there was one creepy bit where he did a Ray Charles number and did it with the Ray Charles junky twitch.

[Candy]

I gotta confess an abnormal enjoyment whenever he hits the screen. I think it's the same thing I feel whenever I see the video of the rabbit being hit by a truck or the kittens stuck in jars. Don't ask me for links, I don't have em, just trust me. It's all wrong, just wrong.

[nee zhien]

It's possible to be 29, and look 29. And these days with the crowd you hang out with (elton john & other cock inhaling homosexualists,) you should be be glad that you're allowed to grow old.

you also made him looks like a cock inhaling hater, did he gave u the idea? how? his twitches? i mean he might not be good enough for seancody, but i doubt they'll reject him at ASG.

anyway, i love ya. cat.

[Brandon]

Are we looking at the same person? He's hot. Imagine him naked with all the grey chest hairs and those long, droopy balls. MmmmMmm.

[trish]

I think he faked his birth certificate. He even looks older than his parents. And the twitching is very annoying. Why does everyone love him so much?

[Veronica]

It is so sad that some people feel the need to bash others! This is a person who is doing what he LOVES, he is a talented and well gifted performer! Why do you feel the need to write such mean and cruel things about a person?

[K]

Wow you have some serious anger issues. Dont think I would make a "special page" for someone I disliked that much ( With pictures even). If you dont like him you know how to change the channel or mute the tv, simple as that. Good luck to your favorites if you even dare have any.

[Fudgey]

I enjoyed your lusty confession about Chris Daughtry. Is it wrong that I've considered doing the same but to Will Makar?

[db]

Why do you watch? Because you know, watching kind of ratchets down the smug superiority effect.

[taylorhicks2006]

The only douche around here is you.

[ze]

WHoever wrote this is an arsehole

[dds]

Rich Juzwiak is a big asshole

[smitty]

Aw, I'm so disappointed. I like Taylor, I actually think he has talent and truly loves singing. The show is so generic that it gets annoying to see the same old crooners and female belters (seems to be the only type of singing they have on the female side).

Also, it is possible to be fully gray at 29. My dad went completely gray in his 20s, although of course it is rare.

Sigh, fourfour, sigh.

[Neha]

Are some of the comments above for real? You crazies!

Rich, you know I'm watching that shit tonight, you know I'm watching it tomorrow as well. I like Hicks better than some others, like that mumbling Bucky cat, though the Ray shit is wearing mighty thin. I hate hate hate hate that smouldering cunt with the long hair, whatsisface, with his george michael, trying to prey on my unsuspecting affections, bastard!

[xz]

me thinks thou doth protest too much

[Me]

Get a life

[Joshua]

That's like calling a Celine Dion fanclub the Assalamu'alaikums.

HEY DON'T HATE. I am not only the Founder and President of Assalamu'alaikums: The Power of Love Fan Club, I am also the Substitute Recording Secretary and Street Team Coordinator! If you want to join, feel free to contact me.

[Braun Pommelhorse]

Hahaha I guess the Taylor fan club found out someone was bashing their beloved and had to rush to his defense! What did I say about the power of opposites attract?

Now I feel like I shouldn't have said anything positive about him at all. I feel caked in clueless funk.

You Taylor fans need to stop taking things so seriously and enjoy yourselves, bitches. The world won't stop because someone dissed Taylor in spectacular fashion on their blog.

Now back to dwelling on that comment about Taylor's chest hair and low hanging balls!

[taylorhater]

thank god someone out there is calling him on his shit for that 'family values' remark.

[MakingFaces]

Well -- it's apparent that some psycho Taylor Hicks fan managed to put down their family sized bowl of macaroni and cheese long enough to post the URL to fourfour. Prepare for an onslaught of the kool-aid stained and the dead common.

I suspect the Clay Aiken fans (aka Claymates) abandoned ship once they found out their precious flat-ironed messiah was caught having butt sex with a male internet trick. But hey...now they have the perfect replacement...a greyed over twitching fool who has mostly perfected the art of imitation. Sorry, but Hicks and his bizarre quirks are the the antics of exhibitionist drunks -- you don't bring that shit to television. BECAUSE now the cornfed buffoons of the world will subject those of us with brains to their creepy obsessions and stupid pet names.

Soul Patrol? That's the best they can do? Please...those fools wouldn't know soul if they woke up with James Brown's cock sliding in and out of their numbskulls to the tune of "I Got You (I Feel Good)".

Sorry...er...Soul Patrol...but simply parroting the behaviors of iconic soul crooners doesn't make one talented or soulful. It just makes a person lazy and an embarrassment. My insides turn everytime I watch this tool shuck and jive like some minstral throwback. Is this absurd display that far off from blackface? He sho am good!

Ugh. I too was put off by the "family values" remark. Is there any political term more polarizing than the awful family values? It has an ugly connotation and ranks up there with "freedom fries" for sheer stupidity.

*cough...I gotta go, my bile is choking me.

[zee zee]

Dad?

[HOmade]

Message to Taylor Hicks: YOU ARE NOT A BLIND BLACK MAN. Retarded? Yes. Delusional? Yes.

[Your Therapist]

I BEGGED you to take your medication...

[xen]

hmmmm...and i always thought it was "Leave On..."

[XOC]

Some people read shit on the net and some people write it, MakingFaces fancies himself a wit but it's just a pile of shit, after all.

[MakingFaces]

Oh XOC -- a sing-songy rhyming insult...how quaint. I bet you swayed from side to side in pure joy cuz you tried to make a funny. Have a cookie.

[Brett]

Fuck you and everything you stand for and believe in you narrow minded, homophobic fuck. You should be strong up by the nuts while birds peck your fucking eyes out.

I hate you and your comments with every ounce of my being and no comment or response you make will change the fact that you are wrong in every possible way and essentialy the intellectual equivalent of an encephalitic retard.

FUCK YOU AND ALL YOUR MINDLESS FOLLOWERS. FUCKING LEMMINGS!

[Val]

There is absolutely NO WAY this guy is 29. None. Not even my hardest drinking, most self-abusing friends in their mid-30s have that many lines around their eyes.

[Holly]

He's alright.. somewhat interesting, kinda annoying. I didn't like the "family values" thing either. It irked me.

Chris is fiiine. I was in love with him the moment I saw him. I really hope he doesn't win this thing - they will own you. He can do so much better.

[marlo_girl]

rich, rich, rich... even though you spit in the face of my favourite idol contestant like, ever (followed closely by mandisa and paris and *swoooooooon* ace young) i still love you.

you know why?

'cause you're the fucking shit and you make me laugh and spit tea out my nose when i read your damn blog at one fifty got-dayum four in the morning, that's why.

taylor hicks! yeaaaaaaaaaah!

[Queer Conservative]

You're right Lee, funeral guy was hot, hot, hot!

[beautifulatrocities]

Can he be any worse than Bo Bice?

[Cooper]

My own picks right from seeing them audition, were HOT FUNERAL GUY (He'd awaken me from the dead), and the even HOTTER Chris Daughtry, who is a personal masturbatory idol.

Taylor Hicks fills in the 'weird-quirky-but-we-luv-him' slot in the show. Perhaps his 'family values' remark was an intentionally ironic statement. He doesn't strike me as a conservative fuckwad. He's just a flake. Watching him is like watching someone accidently slip and fall in an inelegant heap on the floor: you flinch but you also laugh at the same time.

[Mike]

In the end, Taylor Hicks will be twitching his way into fame making a truck load more money than your sorry blogging butt will. You will still be watching a TV show you claim to hate wondering why everyone doesn't think the way you do, and that somebody might say "family values." You are the bigot. The only person more pathetic than you are the people who kiss your ass on your blog.

[Joanielovesrichie]

Wait, Mike -- who's having a hard time reconciling his beliefs with those of others, again?

Yeah. You're not a hypocrite or anything.

[no fair]

hey Rich, not everyone who is christian is attacking homosexuals or something.

I like Taylor, if he'd pick some better songs he could go somewhere. Im mad Sway got dumped tho.

[LEE]

<>>

I've loved coming to this blog, but this really struck me upside my head. WHHAAAT?? How do you know Taylor hates homosexuals? How does he NOT know who wrote the song? Family Values has different connotations to EVERYONE. To me there is NOTHING wrong with Family values. Whats whrong witha family having values they hold dear? Why do you have to assume it has to do with homophobia?

EWWW. I had no idea you were this closed minded Rich. no idea.

[Mateo]

He's the only reason I watch! Say it ain't so, Rich!

[L]

I feel like I'm watching George Clooney's weak brother try to steal a trophy from children.

[Emily]

You should pause for Mandisa, too, cause that bitch has got some awesome fattie power behind her voice.

And I am crushing on Chris Daughtry in that really weird junior high Tiger Beat JTT way that I didn't actually realize you were capable of crushing after college graduation. He makes me melty.

[eew.]

TAYLOR HICKS FREAKIN SUCKSSS! he is so stupid i just wanna slap him. and wuts with his hair? ur not supposed to have gary hair when ur 20. hes so GAY!!!. i like chris, kellie, and katherine!

[Donna]

I don't know why you "hate" the man, it
seems he is not a "right wing." With
the songs he is singing, it seems that
they have found their political singer.
I don't "hate" the man but for once, I
would like a break from hearing political.
That doesn't mean I don't think about it
sometimes, I even give. Just for crying
out loud, can't we have a break once in
awhile?
How about this song from the 70's-
"I believe in music" by Gallery.
That sends a message.

[Amanda]

I LOVE TAYLOR HICKS... Dude, you CRAZY! Why hate him? He fuckin' rocks!

[Disguested]

I regret ever running across your sick perverted website. It's sad to see the human race has desecrated itself to the level you present in your morally bankrupt website. You need help in the biggest way. You should close this thing immediately and go find a job in a parking lot or something.

[Jer]

I love Taylor Hicks. Give the man a break will you...
He's sweet and gets better looking everyday

[Jer]

I love Taylor Hicks. Give the man a break will you...
He's sweet and gets better looking everyday

[Faye]

Sorry, you sad queers. Taylor rocks. In case you don't know his fanbase is enormous and international. But what do you know, you just sit around looking for the next **** up your **** !!!

[wendy]

I think Taylor is awesome watch and see if he doesn't go places

[fuck u]

who ever made this website is a fucking retared that dosent know any than. if you ask me the only one who is a cock sucker is you.

[Sandra Underwood]

Thank you for not being a Taylor Hicks fan. Anyone that could write such obscene remarks is not fit to be a Taylor Hicks fan. Taylor does not need crap like you on his side.

[Julie]

Yawn. Why even watch AI if you are soooo over it? Shouldn't you be out on your Harley or painting a mural or something REALLY cool while this lame show is on? Taylor is harmless and sweet, he doesn't know the difference between family values and gay rights. He's just doing what he loves. And by the way, the south is no different from the north these days, you bunch of ignorant assholes.

[AG]

GET A LIFE! I LOVE TAYLOR, NOT ONLY HAS HE DANCED HIS WAY INTO MY SOUL, BUT HE MAKES ME SMILE. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOD. ONLY HE IS PERFECT. WHO ARE YOU TO SAY IF SOME IS PHYSICALLY HANDICAPPED. TO ME YOU SOUND RETARDED & MENTALLY CHALLENGED. TAYLOR TAYLOR TAYLOR SHOWS HIS LOVE FOR MUSIC & IS BEING HIMSELF. NOT WHAT SOMEONE WANTS HIM TO BE. IF WE WERE ALL THE SAME PERSONALITY ON THIS EARTH, OHHHHHHH HOW BORING AND MUNDANE IT WOULD BE. WHY DON'T YOU FIND SOMETHING POSITIVE TO GO DO.

This motherfucker looks like my dad, and he's only a year older than me! Not to mention he is devoid of one shred of artistic talent whatsoever. America is filled to the brim with untalented, retarded pieces of shit who watch these fucking programs and treat this moron like he is a God. No wonder our country is falling apart at the fucking seams. Damn all of you.

Taylor hater is right on the money. You people who adore him (Taylor) are so completely fucked in the head. You fuckers are a pathetic product of the post-MTV generation. Yes, there was a time when MTV was cool. Kids would come home from school and watch MTV until daylight of the next day of classes. MTV doesn't exist in a true form anymore, which leaves a monumental gap in the proper musical education of children. Kids are forced to watch unspeakably terrible programs like "American Idol" to gain a perception of today's music. This show is corrupting the minds of our young children. If I would have been forced to watch a show like "American Idol" when I was 10 years old, I would have commited suicide. Thank God that Motley Crue was around when I was that age. To witness a grey-haired, pitiful excuse of a singer, Taylor Hicks, on stage is akin to watching a three-year old attempting to shit in a training potty. This motherfucker is abhorable, talentless, and going absolutely nowhere. Where could he possibly go? He is not going to become a star. And if he does happen to become "a star" due to "American Idol" he will be forgotten in 2 weeks. To summarize, "Do I hate Taylor Hicks?" No, he is beneath my contempt. He is analogous to a bacterium that resides between my penis and testicles. I feel sorry for individuals who profess his name, because there is a deep, dark cavern of hell that is waiting for them. And when they arrive, they had better not try to steal the remote. I will kick their asses while not removing my feet from Taylor Hicks' head which functions as my footstool.

[Amy]

Apparently you sepnd a lot of time in someone you hate. Are you sure you are not jealous ? You are the foul and vulgar one here.

[TRUCHATTYCATHY]

Ok your funny, but I am still a Taylor Hicks fan. I can't help it. He just has soul. HMMMMMMMM I wonder if he and Kelly should hook up. Now that would be interesting! HA HA

[Desirea]

I'm glad someone has the guts to tell it like it is. Huckelberry ...I mean Hicks...no I really mean Huckelberry really sucks. I guess people like seeing people having seizers on TV. I guess that would be intertaining and all, but come on really American Idol...I don't think so! Plllleeessseee don't vote anymore for Huckelberry it is ridiculous to do so.

Desirea ;-)

[Desirea]

I read my post and realized how I spelled entertaining. Forgive me for my spelling ;-)

[mariaaaaa]

Oh Lord, I'm late to the party as usual, but I just had to comment on a couple of things: "That's like calling a Celine Dion fanclub the Assalamu'alaikums." LMAO! Really - I think I popped a vessel supressing my giggles.
And WOW - what is up with the haters?! I haven't seen that kind of vitriol and name calling since poor Clay Aiken got outed. Daaamn! Don't fuck with AI contestant fans, man - they'll cut you with their rapier-like wit, style and panache. Daaamn! You got schooled Rich, I bet you'll think twice before you post anything negative about Jay Leno's illegitimate spawn again.
Fun fact #1: it was this post that lured me to fourfour, so I will always have a soft spot for that spastic tard! Fun fact #2: I am now done going through your archives! I've looped back to where I started. *sigh* Have any other journals/blogs I can read? :P

[BUCKETMAN]

HICKS SUCKS WORSE THAN MOST KARAOKE SINGERS I'VE HEARD. HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S TAKING A CRAP IN HIS PANTS WHEN HE SINGS. SADLY, THE FACT THAT HE'S STILL ON THE SHOW MEANS THAT THERE MAY BE ENOUGH ASSHOLES OUT THERE TO ELECT HILLARY CLINTON AS PRESIDENT . . . GOD HELP US ALL.

[Jay]

I hate that Rick Flare hillbilly Taylor!! And since i hate him he will win .. and it will be the very last Idol i will ever watch. But on the brightside for all you walmart fans I am sure they will sign him up to do a store tour concert ... that seems to be how i see him a walmart singer.

Come on can he have an original album? Maybe he and Clay can do a world tour together. another one hit wonder ... where is Clay now is he " invisible"? lol

Will be looking forward to chris's first album.

Whooo!!

[Slapmaxwell]

Sorry Bucketman, but I think the "Hick" has gotten his votes from the same dumb motherfuckers that re-elected GWB. It all adds up...he's a dumbass... he pushes family values and that born again right wing Christian shit.... he's a big fucking phony pretending to be a free spirit with an air of false bravado. He's right out of the Bush mold. If someone actually enjoys watching this animated country bumpkin then they definately have the mental capacity to buy GWB bullshit.

[Jay]

ok I live in Alabama and they did a big freaking parade for Hillbilly Hicks .. and they were showing all the fans lining up to see him and crying to see him at a fence ... when asked about how they enjoyed his dancing .. they were all like OMG WE LOVE HIS DANCING HE IS SOO ALIVE!!! ... and you know what else i noticed they were all OLD ladies and their grandkids ....

[Leigh]

It is real sad to know that ppl like ya'll are out there. I personally met Taylor's step mom and so now I have to stand up in his defense. He has his own uniquness unlike the rest of the idols. And as far as him having something wrong with him your all wrong. He is different and that is what ya'll don't like. And then about the hair and all. He is 29, he graduated from a high school in Alabama in 1994, so get over yourselves! I have a few friends that are gray and well honestly my husband is. And because of him having gray hair he shaves which works to his advantage and is a disadvantage also. He looks like Vin Deisel w/ no hair. And then I have women coming up saying that he looks just like Kenny Chesney. Either way Taylor is HOT! He is soooo sweet and sincere,and true. He knows how to put on a show and grab a crowd. To all of you out there that are finding fault with him I just pray that God has mercy on your soul because it is sad to know ppl can be so cruel.

[j]

he looks like vin diesel? umm do you know what vin diesel looks like? .. Kenny Chesney? lol ( must be before the weights ) ... and ppl are entitled to their opinion .. it is a show where he is being judged. so when we vote will it be cruel not to vote for him? granted he may be a sweet guy ... but for my tastes the jerkiness and the WOOO! after every sentence does get annoying.

[Danielle From Michigan]

TAYLOR HICKS IS A COCK SUCKING FAGGOT! HIS PERFORMANCE OF " YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL " SUCKED HE SOUNDED LIKE SOMEONE KICKED HIM IN THE NUTS OR MAYBE HIS BOYFRIEND GAVE IT TO HARD TO HIM IN THE BUTT! I HATE TAYLOR AND HIS FANS HAVE GOT TO BE ON DRUGS TO LIKE HIS "SOUL PATROL" MOVES. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK HIM TO DO THEM MOVES? IT DOESN'T JUST COME TO HIM. THAT TOOK HIM THE WHOLE 45 YEARS OF HIS LIFE TO LEARN THAT! LOL. I HATE YOU TAYLOR, YOU SUCK LIKE A VACUUM! ALL THESE HATERS ON HERE ARE RIGHT! YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG. AND CALLING YOU A VAGINAL SUPPOSITORY IS JUST MILD AND BEING NICE, SO YOU DONT GET YOUR FEELING HURT TOO BAD! I HATE TAYLOR HILLBILLY HICKS!

[Beth]

Taylor Hicks is the biggest retard ever on American Idol. If he advances to the final round tonight I will boycott American Idol forever. He has no talent and he dances around stage like a retard!

[ugh]

Hate to say it guys but going by dialidol.com the hillbillies have won .. Gomer Pyle is going to win .. Elliot is next to go. just goes to show how much people love karaoke. Look for Taylor live in person at your local Walmart!! if he does everyone needs to vote for Katharine McPhee. this is my last time watching idol its become a sham

[shitkicking cocksmoker]

Truth be told by the Blood of Christ
I dun' fuck my sister...an' my mama; an' my pa'...das' whut my granddaddy say anyway.
P.S.
I worked my fingers fuckin' raw voting for Taylor Hicks;

[Echelle]

ok whats ur problem??
taylor has soul and passion and he is also a good singer

if u dont like him, then IGNORE him!!
dont make nasty comments and rude things about him. He doesnt deserve that. noone does.
go screw yourself for being so incosiderent not only to Taylor, but American Idol.
And quit making comments about him and the show. People dream about this show, insulting it is like insulting others. ITs wrong. ANd please erase the comments about our Lord, its rude.
AND the lyrics usally dont mean a THING to the perfomrer. they r just trying to win our hearts, noone really pays attention to it anyway!

[Echelle]

u need to get a life

TAYLOR is winning. its obivous, and he deserves it! u dont like him becuz he is unique and deifferent

he is not gay, he is not a fag, he is not any of these horrible awful things u say. he is a sweet, good person. so what if he cant dance!! so what!! WHY THE HELL DO U FREAKING CARE MUCH! IF U HATE HIM THEN JUST IGNORE HIM! Turn off the freaking radio when u hear his signle, dont buy his platinum CD, plugg ur ears when people start coping his little "WOO" thing, becuz he is the american idol. not by his vocals(which he totally has) but by his PASION AND LOVE FOR MUSIC AND HIS FANS!
screw u

[shitkicking cocksmoker]

I'm voting for Taylor Hicks because like him I love to inhale cock. Taylor represents the finer things of southern life; Sucking back as much meatstick and balls as you can get your hands on; while getting a dose of warm yogurt in the shit shooter. Oh yes; and he's from the south.

[djprozac]

he's a douche
i hate him

[Taylorisanoldfukk]

I can't understand why so many people like Taylor Hicks. He is an old man who can't sing. I am sure he is paying a lot of money to be on the show. Mostly to attack girls to suck his shriveled up little dick. There is no excuse for supporting an ugly old spazz with Parkinsons. Taylor needs to be put to sleep.

[sterling]

Did you get kicked off in the auditions or were you one of the unfortunate top ten that seem to get ptetty upset?

[Fuck you, that's my name]

Human waste like you is the reason I bailed out of Brooklyn 20 years ago. Go suck a cock and then run into traffic on the Belt Parkway, you cunt.

[codE]

I'm voting for Katharine.

[ruhappytoseeme]

I like Taylor and I believe his age because my fiancee went grey as a teen, when I met him (hes 2 years younger then me)I was 27 and he asked me how old I thought he was and i said 40 so I can believe Taylor is 29 (my fiancee looks like him too)I like his cheerfulness, happy go lucky attitude and that souldful voice, he is different then most idols who came before him and I think he will make it, there are a lot of people that love him, but he really is a love or hate kinda guy, I havent met anyone whos in the middle lol

[ireallydontliketaylor]

you guys like Taylor cause he is funny, and strange to you and wanna see what he does the next week ,not because of his lackluster singing. can he stand up str8? .. we all liked william Hung .. but did you buy his album? and all i ever see on the tv ( from the news of his hometown ) was middle aged overweight white women ... Katherine is a marketable person ... Taylor is a copy cat singer ... do you want a singer that sounds like another singer? I think the reason most of us dislike him ,cause he is all in our faces like your little kid brother making weird noises all the time,but now its like your older brother or uncle that has a mental disorder that you are forced to go see on Sundays at the " home",the guy that said he will be doing walmart concerts is right,or the local carnivals. Just make sure when u vote for him that you are honest about it, and wonder will you buy his 2nd album and so on.I watch, listen, and vote cause i would be a fan of that person not because i thought he was a funny guy.cause i can't think of anything he has sung that i was floored by.i remember chris's singing he is a performer.Taylor is a guy that sings for his momma

[Tom]

Only a truly ignorant person would say they hate someone they've never met, and only a shortsighted person would concoct such hatred in times such as these, when all Americans should RALLY TOGETHER.

What am I trying to to say here, Rich?

Oh, that you're ignorant. And so are others who claimed they hate Taylor due to his "American Idol" appearances.

Priorities, people. Priorities.

so say the dixie chicks!!

[Earl]

Hey Tayler Hicks rocks! He is so smuthe and sangs so good I git a boner jest listening to him. When he moves on stage I imagine me behind him givin it to him in his hillbilly ass while Clay Aiken is a fuckin me in my hillbilly ass. To me thet wud be heavin. All you Hicks haters is just a bunch of undeducatad dumbe asses. Hicks will win tonite and pruve just what the TV watchin publics IQ is.

Unfortunately, this stereotypical Hicks fan persona is right. This put on phony will win and that will prove just how stupid the American reality TV watching public is. I've never hated an American Idol contestant before Hicks came along. I've only disliked 1 other contestant, and I ended up feeling sorry for him when he got the boot. My hate for Hicks however, is based on his phoniness and arrogance. Katharine McPhee, you are cool, poised and extremely talented. Please beat this disgusting little prick and limit the torturous exposure that we will have to endure if he wins.

[Scott MacKay]

thank you thank you thank you....I am so glad to read my personal (and oft times yelled at the tv) thoughts about this guy.

Katherine....Chris......you are this year's
Idols and I will buy your shit..

Now, outta here Taylor! I'm off to the movies tonight while you collect your ill gotten crown. I can't stomach it.

yeah the last two guys are right ... i never disliked an american idol as much as this one .. this one seemed soo fixed its not even funny. there is just something about Taylor that just rubs ya the wrong way, is it because i know good music and he is not it? or is Fox catering to the Hillbilly/trailer people cause they need a hero? Come on Taylor better than Chris? I truly don't think so, Chris and Kat have staying power, they are what we listen to , not a michael mcdonald/michael boltons love child. I could see if this was a fair contest, the only reason he got/getting attention cause he ( in my best hillbilly voice ) can make the familes of deliverance sit up and giggle and see how purdy he can dance pa!!, and everyone in the house standing around and posing .. " Look at me Ma I'm Taylor!! and all the cousins and aunts and uncle with big toothless grins all sing " SOUL PATROL!", all I can say as they do in the south is " bless their hearts" LOL enjoy the victory today, lets see who remembers him next year ( and for everyone in my crazy mixed up family that voted and admitted to voting, you ain't getting nothing from me this year for b'days, Christmas, anniversaries, but Taylor hicks stuff, you voted for him so you will get it all )

[whatever]

All I can say is: Wow. This article is a true masterpiece. And to that guy who left Brooklyn 20 years ago, good riddance, you wouldn't belong in a place where people know the true meaning of "soul."

[Summer]

My god! Taylor is such a dork! How the hell could a fat, gray haired, half retarded person like him win american idol? that's bullshit.

Taylor fan: OMFG!!111 he has gray hair!!!11 I'm gonna vote 4 him cuz he acts just like meh!!!!!!!!1111111111 -spazz attack- I WONDER IF THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES!!!

[Marco]

Wait...Somebody actually agrees with me?

[Marco]

"Only a truly ignorant person would say they hate someone they've never met, and only a shortsighted person would concoct such hatred in times such as these, when all Americans should RALLY TOGETHER.

What am I trying to to say here, Rich?

Oh, that you're ignorant. And so are others who claimed they hate Taylor due to his "American Idol" appearances.

Priorities, people. Priorities."

Pfff. I doubt you've met him either. Oh, let's go worship some american fuktard because he plays a harmonica =P

[Slapmaxwell]

Well there you have it folks, another dimwitted jagoff (and I loved this comment whoever made it) to make special appearances at Walmart. Personally, I wish American Idol would quit doing this to us... I mean, was there really a void in the entertainment world that needed to be filled by those two mutts Clay Aiken and that fat black guy... Rufus or whoever? (See, it's only been 3 years and I already forgot his name.) The same goes for Carrie Underwood, although she's not nearly annoying as this country bumpkin Hicks, and is a lot, lot better to look at. This show is the epitomy of over hype. They spend 4 months building up the suspense and what do we end up with? You can walk in to the lounge at any Holiday Inn in the country and find a Taylor Hicks,and I have to admit, that is a void he adaquately fills. But PLEASE.... this guy is not, nor will he ever be, a star. Never the less, the Walmart shoppers have chosen their king. The next superstar has arrived.

[Rheine]

tell me about it! DAMN TAYLOR SUCK FOR LIFE!
He's good at singing and all but he's being too much! He put too much effort!

[Meg]

Good heavens, your comments. Are you people for real? Everyone needs coffee and a donut and maybe you can use the jelly from the donut to remove the sticks from your asses.

I didn't want anything but the final show and the auditions, and all I can say is this: long live Prince.