Duh-bye

Wow. I had no idea that Gina suffered from the same affliction as Jerri Blank's father (so there, Twiggy, she's posing like she's on a good comedy show).

I shouldn't be joking. This is serious. Gina is gone, y'all. A little piece of me died when she was packing her bags, explaining that no matter how friendly she is, there will always be people who don't like her. It makes me almost feel bad for all the jokes I made at her expense. And, of course, for all the jokes I'm about to make at her expense.

But really, I can't believe that they eliminated her without telling us that she's deaf. She is deaf, right? What?

No matter. I cry, she cries.

29. Gina

And that's all for the episode. One cry! We're dealing with some hardened bitches this time. Gator skin without the bumps, all around (or in Furonda's case, gator skin, period).

I couldn't decide on this week's Tyraism, so I'm just going to do two this week. Why not? After all, she's endlessly quotable, like a modern day Oscar Wilde. Or Yogi Berra. Or Yogi Bear.

Tyraism No. 1

"What I want to do today is I want to talk to all of you about your future goals, because I want to help raise very strong women, as well. Not just models."

Raise? I know they're sheep-like and all, but Tyra's now taking the mother metaphor way far. I guess that's to be expected since the theme of this cycle is "transformation." I can't wait till next cycle when she shows us how to be fierce while working a breast pump.

Tyraism No. 2

"I loved your film, Joanie. It was spicy." I don't really have a quip for that. I just thought it was dumb (in other words, not spicy).

But you know what is spicy? Miss J's attitude in this week's Jwatch.

This concludes this week's Jwatch.

1. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you this cycle's girl with all the potential in the world:

Well, now that that's been revealed, what's the point of going on with the show?

2. I'll answer my own question: to make fun of Gina, obviously. Oh, she's gone? Fuck.

Of the many golden Gina moments in this week's episode, my favorite is her patting herself on the back for reading Jade (if you need a tutorial in reading, here is Dorian Corey explaining it in Paris Is Burning). "It was my battle and I think I did pretty well," said Gina about her showdown with Jade. Here's Gina's step-by-step guide to a successful reading.

Step 1: Identify the target.

Step 2: Attempt to verbally shrink away from confrontation.

Step 3: If that doesn't work, intimidate your target by pointing out spectators.

Step 4: Take words your target threw at you and replace the "you" with "I"s and the "I"s with "you"s.

Step 5: If you're still intimidated by your target, lie.

Step 6: Physically slink away from confrontation, avoiding eye contact.

This method is fool-proof. It'll have them praying for mercy.

Alternately, you can just call the target an "overgrown orangutan(g)" and be done with it.

3. At least that's a better way of reading someone than by forcing them to say something they don't want to and then chastising them for it.

Ahem.

Janice picking on an already battered Gina was such bullshit (and confusing, too -- "Get your ass off?!?!"). I would have figured Janice to be in a good mood, since Tyra clearly hooked her up with some extensions before the episode was even over:

So, yeah. I was disappointed in this Janice appearance (sit in on the fucking panel, already!), but at least she was weird...

...and sexual...

...and weirdly sexual. Would you fuck model? I'd fuck model.

4. Hi Lisa.

Bye Lisa.

5. As if eager to prove her warmth, Jade had this to say about Gina's photos from the Sears challenge:

First of all, of course she does. It was a fake shoot for Sears.

Second of all, Gina actually looked good in her shots. And third, who the fuck is Jade calling cheesy?

Shit, Jade looks cheesy even when Sears isn't involved.

(Jade's roots and array of hairstyles in her confessional clips scare me -- do they point to the fact that she's going to be around for a while?)

Is that an anthill in your fro, or are you just an asshole?

Yeah, because looking like Kim Cattrall is sooooo hot right now.

Who's cheesy now, Jade??? Huh???

6. Nnenna won me back this week.

First of all, her boyfriend is hot.

I'm sure you disagree, but that PWT mustache is fucking sexy.

But also, I like that she doesn't take shit from him.

"You're bein' very annoyin' and you're still not stoppin'. You're makin' it worse." You tell him!

Oh, but contrary to Tyra's sensationalism, this is not a French kiss:

Mouths are open, yes, but no tongues!

Not that Nnenna isn't a lil' freaky.

I mean very freaky.

7. Hey. Who wants to be hot like Furonda?

Here's her secret:

You're welcome.

8. No, I really do have to give it up to Furonda for turning out a good picture this week.

Power to the weirdos!

The girls who are able to change how they look so drastically when in front of the camera really fascinate me. That's a big reason why I love Danielle so much and really, really want her to win.

Now that some time has passed and it's not just a knee-jerk impression, I have to say that Danielle's picture from last week is my favorite ANTM picture of all...time (I just typed that in Tyra voice).

I also love Danielle because she helps me out. She came up with a wonderfully bitchy, backstabbing retort to Jade's bullshit "future goal."

"It's just so random to hear Jade say she wants to be a kindergarten teacher. If need be, I would home school my child before they went to Jade's class. Mmmm mmm."

Capping my love of Danielle is her wonderful singing talent.

It's a catchy tune!

Boo-ya!

9. Gay:

10. Even though Joanie hasn't impressed me with a picture since the first episode, I did love this:

"He totally pitched a tent while they were in Africa. And not one that you camp in, either," she said about Nnenna's hot model companion during their shoot. I like how Joanie all of a sudden became some drunk floozy in a bathrobe at 3 p.m. sitting outside her trailer during the last sentence.

Hi, Vegas Mom!

11. Yo, I'm a little bit scared for Nicole.

Check the empty expression, and hear her emptier words. It's hard out here for a supposedly working model.

Is she strung out on pressed powder?

12. So Tyra wants to be a blow-up doll when she grows up?

She did always enjoy practicing.

Ah, good ol' Light Bulb Head.

Comments

[brandy]

Nicole is the worst. I doubt we will see anything from her after this Cover Girl account. Love the recap!

[Jackie]

Joanie as "trailer trash" is priceless. And I agree, Danielle is #1!

[peachi]

i love danielle... my vote is for her, nnenna, or mollie sue to win (bah to brooke... i just see fug there)... in any case though, will covergirl (i mean tyra) pick a girl with a gap that big in their ads? *runs and hides*

[avi]

robin from season, excuse me, "cycle" 1 is still the most horrible as in meanest contestant ever, with her oh my goodness a lesbian model in my apartment i'm going to sit in my room and read the bible and get on other people for being too skinny and using too much skin lotion. but jade is really an a-1 mf'in jackelope wench. let me break it to her - if you're 26 and haven't made it yet as a model, you never will! and stop talking about yourself in the 3rd person dammit! i liked when they told her she's like a hot model at a club versus a hot model in pictures. in other words a wannabe. i still like brooke, but she needs to unawkwardify now. if she could pose more like joanie she'd be a threat. and danielle is now my fave for sure. addicted!

[Mr. Prince]

LOL this was great!; I love Danielle more and more each week, and furonda's coming around; hmm, so far my top three picks are Danielle, Nnenna and.....i'm not sure XP XDD

[mo]

We'll see plenty of Nicole. If they ever make a proper remake of Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. She'd be the kickingest "Background extra #13" ev-ah.

[FancyPants]

Jade's nasty hair matches her nasty attitude. Janice is a dried up old hag with nothing better to do then pick on misguided, deaf Gina(but thank the lord she was booted). I hope Danielle wins this one!

[WhicketyWhack]

Jade looks like Art garfunkel, especially with the receding hariline.

[Jess]

I cannot look at Furonda without seeing that picture of the Gremlin. Without fail, I start to laugh every time I see her. It's a little awkward explaining it to people who haven't been reading your recaps.

And I, too, love Danielle. Is it wrong of me to want her to throw down on Jade?

[J-Enyce]

Ok this might not be a popular opinion, but I think the real glaring omission is Molly Sue. She is fierce, and she's working for that drink. After seeing all those girls with long hair (Jade doesn't count) it's so refreshing to see Molly Sue rock the pixie.
Btw, I saw on the previews for next antm that Jade (ms. pizza face herself) actually tries to call someone out on their bad complexion. Physician Heal Thyself...yeah, Jade is in a struggle, but not the one she's thinking of.

[david]

Poor Gina. Normally I'm a Janice fan but she was just being plain nasty.

[caligurl]

i am the only one who thinks this season totally sucks?!!! none of these girls look like models to me....Danielle and Nenna standout a little....and Furonda is just a weird creature in my oponion....LUV YOUR RECAPS!!!!!!

[Cote]

Rich, I love you! Your Recaps are always better than the show!

Danielle better win. Girl is hot! And I think the Gap tooth thing is hot as well, I even wish that I still sported one!

[amanda]

I'm new to your site, but I'm wondering if you've yet broken down that scary fake smiling shot that the contestants are forced to do every fucking week when The Tyranator describes the Ford contract and all that other meaningless bullshit the winning ANTM gets. It feels very cue card. And it always makes me feel so sorry for them.

[aj]

Danielle gives gap-toothed girls a good name ;)

My dentist offered to cap mine, but I've grown to like it over the years...

Anyway, thanks once again for a killer recap Rich! Sorry duh-Gina got booted, but she was started to become a tad painful to watch...

I fully support Danielle as the new fave.

[Furnace23]

What were the names of the 5 male models ?

[Charlie]

Usually I think you have questionable taste in models. But I have to admit, Danielle fully won me over this week with her take-no-shit attitude (she's take-no-shit but not a bitch--wha??) and her ability to just sit back and shake her head at everyone else's drama is such a nice change. And I agree with you that she looks different—and hot—in every photo she takes.

[Clare]

Another great recap, Rich! Love the light bulb head shot!

[dj Danny S]

Jade is a hideous, fugly FUGLY cunt (she's a FUNT) and the sooner she's gone the better!

[Ambre]

"I can't wait till next cycle when she shows us how to be fierce while working a breast pump"....This has to be the funniest thing I've ever heard.

[istolethetv]

joanie also got a little trailer-trashy when she surmised that this week's "special guests" might be "a sloth, a snake or a *pork-a-pine*." i half expected her to spit her chaw out after uttering that sentence.

[Judy]

Ugh, apparently the producers told Janice to pick on Gina. I know Janice is like out there and in your face, but telling Gina to jump on one foot and laugh was awful. It almost turned me off to watching the show, but I'm hanging on to see Jade get hers. Can't stand that "girl" - is she a girl? She looks like a Romulan of the Star-trek variety.

Oh you're enjoy this: http://www.topmodelgossip.com/lisa-vs-tyra-video-clip/

:)

[duane]

Keep it coming! Sad to see Gina go, but what the fuck was going on with that girl anyway??

[raging indie]

It's OK Rich, there are still plenty of girls we haven't seen anything of yet -- maybe you'll get a new Gina. Leslie's sort of Asian, right?

[jules]

Man, you have me lol-ing in my seat, as always, Rich! As uncomfortable as Gina made me just by watching her (I mean, like, worse than Cycle 4's Michelle!), I will miss her. At least she's actually pretty, unlike Jade the Hutt.

Jay Alexander needs to shut up now. Nnenna, the only one of these bitches who can actually, you know, MODEL - boring? Hell no, not after tonight's episode! Who would have thought she had a bit of hootchie in her? But her dude? Inbred.

And will somebody puh-lease hook Danielle up with some InvisAlign? And Nicole for that matter? This is America's Next Top Model, not Britain's.

And also, Fuh-ron-duh = Invader Zim in his human disguise.

[Molly]

So I'm lovin Danielle too. First and foremost- the girl seems (miraculously) normal! She was kind to duh-Gina when she didn't have to be, she doesn't talk too much smack about the other girls, and she takes *beautiful* photos. She does look a bit scraggly when she smiles (like in the Sears shoots) and that gap catches the light in the wrong way, but nevertheless: also my pick for winning this cycle.

[joanou]

Will you be my gay boyfriend?

[Kris]

What, no clip of "the girl with all the potential" saying she wanted to be a nurse necessitist?

[nicole]

"Is that an anthill in your fro, or are you just an asshole?"- fucking hysterical!!

Danielle sounded even more old lady this week. What is up with that voice? I kept wondering how she'll sound when she actually is 80.

I say, give it to Leslie now and be done with it. She's the only standout gorgeous one of the lot.

[DeadlyLittleMiho]

Awww...poor stupid Gina. Her IQ was lower than Forrest Gump's. But she was definitely one of the better loking girls in this season of fuglies.

Jade's picture was way pornier than Sara's. And Nnena is not boring at all! Girl looks good, she's strong, she's smart. What the fuck does JAlexander want?

No matter how many good pictures she takes Furonda looks awful in person.

[JH]

I really have to take Tyra to task for bringing in the most inappopriate contestants this cycle. With the exception of Danielle, Mollie Sue, and Nenna, none of these girls say "model" to me or anyone with working eyes. Without naming names, I'd like to point out that we have two potato noses, one swordfish, an uncanny resemblance to Flava Flav, a walking, talking spoon, and the unholy admixture of Etta James, diet pills, and a bag of Puff'N Corn. Sure, the point of the show is never really the modelling, but I miss the pretense. At this point, Tyra could rename the show "Truth or Dare Slumber Party" without having to tweak any of the content.

[Lizzy]

I frikken LOVE Danielle. She is so sensible and yet cool. And she takes incredible photos. Yeah, just, yeah. If they reveal she is a psychopathic asshole, I am going to be so sad.

[Angel]

I love Furonda... you all hate on her soo much.. I hope she continues to do well...for all the nay sayers...

[HeyTrayz]

I don't like My Potentially Pretty Pony. She looks beat up and beat down. How did she even make top 13? She's a mess! With all the "potential" to be a really big mess! She should go next and Furonda (Gremlin, Spikes sister) needs to be right behind her.

Good recap, as usual!

[lovejoy]

I'm with you, caligurl. This season sucks the big one...all these country-fried girls and old ass hags just don't make me care who wins this one. Add to that the obvious sensationalism, such as Janice's cunt maneuver on Gina, and I'm SO over this show already, this from a faithful viewer since Season 1. Bring back Project Runway!

[boo]

Did anyone else see Michelle from cycle 4 having a threesome with johnny fairplay on "True Life: I'm a reality TV whore"? I thought she was all "I'm GAY!" but there she is having sloppy three way kisses with that smarmy fellow...

[Marie]

I'm glad everyone's loving Danielle. I love Furonda, too, she so cracks me up. I'm just surprised that everybody is ragging on Jade for being a bitch and not saying anything about Joanie. Jade at least has an interesting face and a funny way to be a bitch. Joanie, if you didn't notice, is being mean all the time but not in a funny way at all, and she's ugly. Uglier than Jade, just not eye-catching ugly. I hate her. I've been wanting her out from day one.

[summer]

is it just me or does danielle look like ciara in the "editorial" picture? maybe it's just me. i don't know.

[bradford]

Baby. Snaggletooth, I mean, Joanie's photo this week was HAND'S DOWN that strongest. Whattya mean her pics have not impressed you since week 1?

[Brandon]

I love the purple eyeliner on the trailer trash.

[yellowly]

K.. i've been lurking around reading your ANTM recaps and I knew that you Rich would be sad to see Gina go unlike all my friends. See, I am sad to see ger go nut because she is "most pretty" but because she was so damn funny to watch even if sometimes it was uncomfortable to watch (does that makes me a bad person). Anyways, I knew you would understand that Gina was so comedic and her time was cut to short - I mean I think she had at least three more breakdowns before she got really annoying. But sadly, she was cut.. Gina I will miss you. You don't even know how much..

[Chanelle]

Danielle is my favorite. She seems so down-to-earth, and I respect that she doesn't get caught up in the drama. Plus, most importantly, she takes AMAZING pictures. If she or Nnenna don't win, I'm never watching ANTM again. I was truly pissed off over Nik.

[Abrego]

Oh my god!!!! Thank you to JH for finally giving me the answer to who Furonda reminds me of. There truly is a resemblance to Flava Flav!!! I'm sorry to see Gina go because I know how much Rich loves her, and hopefully someone else will try and read Jade. I would also like to say that Molly Sue is so hot! I just wish she would learn how to be a model now. She's struggling with the posing, walking, personality, and everything else except looks. Rich, I cannot end my week without reading your recap. It brightens my day. Also, when are we going to see more of Winston? Maybe Winston can be on ANTM, I think he has what it takes to win. (Good to see you put the Special K boxes on, how much money are they giving ANTM to put a picture of those boxes on every week?)

[mariska]

best recap ever! and I havent seven seen this episode yet! I was on vaycay this week so ill catch the encore.

the only thing I do more religiously than read your recaps is actually watch antm.

i think i love you.

[whoneedslight]

How did you not discuss Gina hopping on one foot while laughing hysterically? God, it was practically straight out of The Deer Hunter or something.

[Christine]

Rich! omg, what was up with those special k shots? Thank you for seeing it too, weird...

[buzz]

omigod somebody said "ass hags". you fucking rock.

at this point it's wasting breath to say that danielle is the berries. but let me say this -- even though fugronda can pull one decent photo out of 300, she's still BUSTED. with those mantis-arms and crazy-eyes she's about as "versatile" as perez hilton.

[Gayest Neil]

LOVED LOVED the housewife photo though. Great smirk.

[brightlikeaknife]

Oh man! (catches breath and wipes tear from eye) That was your best recap yet. I want you to know, Rich, that everytime Tyra says "the girl with all the potential in the world" I think of you. I take comfort in knowing that at THAT moment, my thoughts of you are a part of a collective that is your ANTM Recap fanbase.

Hold up -- is that Skeletor's hood on Jade???? Fucking brilliant.

Not to be contrary - because I know Janice makes a whole lot of you guys wet and all - but she just makes me mad. She truly is a waste of space, film, oxygen, and so on. What a duplicitous bitch! She totally set Gina up for a fall. If I were Gina, I would have said to her, "Aren't you late for a plastic surgery procedure or an abortion or something"? I'm over her. For real - I don't understand why she gets any air time at all.

[smitty]

Loved the recap this week.

Danielle is awesome.

Janice was an evil bitch. EVIL. Gina wasn't confident but people needed to leave the poor girl alone.

[ezra]

Dear Rich,
Please make an "unsung hotties of reality TV" calendar for me! Or at least a special section for the faves. Chris Dougherty, Nnena's PWT, Runway's makeup artist...etc. HOt HOT HOT!!!!

[smitty]

oh yeah, bring back the animated .gifs!

[brightlikeaknife]

Oh yeah... and I totally agree with you re: Nnenna's boyfriend. His mustache makes me think impure thoughts.

[nubiesse]

Jerri Blank's dad?!?
Did you--

You *couldn't* have...

I think--

THAT DOES IT!
You have reached an all time high! The hilari-osity of those rigor mortis poses were not lost on me, either... I canNOT go beyond that opening line. And you can't make me.

[Val]

Is it just me or did Jade look like the villian in THE INCREDIBLES with one of those hairdos? Oy.

[MIssNee]

This was taken from the ANTM recap from whatever cycle nicole won:

"And, if nothing else, Nicole's My Life as a Cover Girl segments will be better than Naima's."

admit it, nicole's are no better. they're horrible. no emotion whatsoever. ugh....she talks like she's dried up and dead inside.

[drvivianbell]

Jerri Blank's dad!!!!! O my gawd . . . Strangers with Candy!!!! That made me laugh so hard that I drooled.

[miss c]

"Puff'N Corn" Yesssssssss! I hope you're talking about Jade, JH, b/c that just about sums up the dry taste and dirty powdery residue just watching her leaves on my soul.

I cannot say I'm sad that Duh-Gina is gone. When it came down to the bottom two I was screaming at my t.v. that if she beat out another person I would be forced to kill myself - via drowning in J Alexander's manic panic hair dye.

I lost it with that Joanie trailer park reference. All you left out from the picture was a antler-horn toilet paper holder.

And Danielle is a gap-toothed goddess.

[Francine]

Janice tries to act like a badass muddafugga all down wid dee get-TOE, but the only thing she's making me afraid of is going through menopause. Of course if I were reduced to boning the likes of Jon Lovitz I'd get pretty snarly too.

[Rich]

Val -- you aren't the only one who noticed.

[jessica]

dood, danielle is totally my favorite too. she just takes stunning pics and i'm right there with you with last week's pic homigod.

also, i think i love her because she kind of has DMC's current talking voice, that kind of cracking breathy thing going on.

and also also, why haven't any of the judges even once mentioned jade's age? i mean, not one girl, not one photographer, not even that weird man/woman, santu?, has said anything about the fact that she's about 2x the age of those girls starting their careers from eastern europe. i mean, seriously, WTF.

miss jay hasn't even said anything!!! it's bananas!!

[k-dawg]

are those fucking fortune cookies hanging from jade's ears?! and i think she totally deserves the kim-style "you look FORTY!" smackdown for those sears shots alone...

but thank god for her - i, indeed, recugnyze. i can't wait for fugronda to don her "broke-ass crown" and step into the ring.

Next week: Skeletor Vs. Gremlin!

[Bibbs]

You have GOT to be kidding me about Nnenna's boyfriend being hot. Tell me you were kidding please because that doucheball was hurtin.

[gabunny]

I love me some Danielle!! Nnenna has the looks but Danielle has the looks AND the personality!

BTW, can someone PLEASE get Brooke some 'effin undereye cover-up???? She looks like she's been on a three-day binge all the time. Janice said it best - she is supposed to be a model but she just looks messy.

>>"And, if nothing else, Nicole's My Life as a Cover Girl segments will be better than Naima's."

can you imagine Danielle's Cover Girl spots? Hee-lare-ee-us!!! ya'll come up with some examples . . .I can't wait to see!

[Honey]

So glad to read the recaps, I thought of you this week (weird huh) while watching the episode..I knew you would have a FIELD day

That model Nnena was with was very hot...I'd dump the boyfriend for that too..

[Toothy Tile]

I agree on all counts about Nnenna's boyfriend. Hot, and the PWT moustache is a big part of it. Too bad he's crazy and a control freak.

[Toothy Tile]

Now that I'm thinking about it.. one of the models was really hot too (well, they all were, but one stood out!). Skyler, was it? The one that was in Joanie's shot.

[Veggie Girl]

1. Nicole: It's bad when the interviewer of Star magazine in more engaging (read: alive) than the interviewee.

2. Janice: This episode, she crossed the line from outspoken and crazy to just plain nasty. "Zip it, bitch, you're dead in my book"? That's awful.

3. Tyra: Love that she said her goal at 16 was to retire from modeling at 23 and have a talk show -- simply because it nails how old these chicks are to be pursuing modeling careers.

BTW, it's between Mollie Sue and Nnenna. The rest are season filler -- sorry, cycle filler.

[Peter]

Thanks for the update, Rich!
I have to agree with Summer about Joanie's pic this week. It was so good it made me want to talk to the straight people at work about it!
I actually thought Janice might actually be helping Gina by making her jump and loosen up a bit, maybe Mollie Sue should try it?
And does anyone else have trouble underdtanding what the hell is coming out of Danielle's mouth? I love her but I am looking for subtitles!!! And finally poor Lisa, she didn't get one spoken word on the air :-( Maybe next week

[katie]

here was my problem with the whole gina/jade beef. i couldn't stand gina, but i felt bad for her because jade was such an evil bitch towards her which almost made me want gina to be eliminated AFTER jade just to show her off. too bad it didn't work like that. i hope that jade gets nixed next week because of her shit-talking on furonda!

whose going to faint! i can't decide.

i think the final 2 will be mollie sue and danielle for sure.

[Robbie]

OK... Nnenna's line to her boyfriend about being annoying was off the HOOK!! And why does Tyra look like RuPaul in her "grown-up-talk-show-host" photo... I mean... yes RuPaul had a tragically short-lived talk show that should have revolutionized the modern variety show... but doesn't RuPaul already pull off plastic black diva better then Tyra?

Nicole PLEASE DON'T SPEAK. You make Naima sound like a cheerleader instead of a recovering comatose patient.

[jamillah]

um, am i the ONLY one grateful for the PARIS IS BURNING references? according to the promos for next week, i think there may be a "TOUCH THIS SKIN, HONEY, TOUCH IT!" [a breath before aforementioned "you're just an overgrown orangutangggg" comment] between jade + furonda.

[thumper]

Janice Prickinson is a dirty joke. I had always heard that when old whores die, the tail is the last thing to go, but I never saw it in person. She is dead to everyone but herself.

[elizasdream]

Nnenna's boyfriend looks like Freddie Mercury. Also, when I first saw the photo of Nnenna's kiss, Grace Jones' "Love Is The Drug" came on the internet radio. Cool coincidence. I thought you would have remarked about Jade's Fremen attire.

Danielle, Nnenna, Leslie, and Sara are my favorites right now, in that order. Everyone else? Whatever. Although Furonda shocked me by taking a good photo this week.

Love the recap! Trailer Trash Joanie was a nice touch. :)

[Mara]

sweet recap, as always...am soo glad you mentioned the Special K promo; this show has so much fuckin' advertising on the sly its sickening...

janice is a horrid bitch, i'm sure they'll give her all the guest spots in the world, as long as she stays far far away from the judging panel...jade needs to shut the fuck up, its not even cute or funny anymore, I CANNOT WAIT until she crosses paths with the wrong bitch on this show and gets hers...she's worse than skeletor, lol :)

and gina's impaired speech and overall retardedness will be sorely missed :(

[Jake]

Great recap!!!

WHAAA? Why no comments on teh hotness of the male models, the fantastic specimens that they were?!

[nathans]

Well I love Jade ( although she is too old)!

She's a cool bitch who thrives under pressure unlike so many oof the others. Clearly Danielle is the most photogenic. DuhGina simply had no confidence and I am sure she was relieved to be off the show. Janice is a cool (hot) mess!

Janice was being such a mean tranny. Where's Omarosa when you need her?

[Riley]

Love your work! Was expecting the gremlin picture after the Special K (don't feed after midnight)... I swear all I ever see now is the gremlin everytime I see Furonda's face. Watching Gina was like fingernails against the chalkboard! And she said she wanted to represent Asians?!!! Ouch! I was personally embarrassed by her! Jade is washed up and ugly - and she knows it. My favs are Nnenna, Danielle, & Mollie Sue.

[Kittenbreath]

Great recap as always, Rich. I was actually happy to see Duh-Gina go. I thought it was long overdue. I felt so bad for her. You know how it is.. initially, it was fun to make fun of her. Then, it got to be not so fun. Like, when you're in a bar and there's a drunk midget loud talking some biker dude. It's funny, at first, but then the biker dude drop kicks the midget across the room... Oh wait, that is funny. Anyway, my point is that Gina bugged me and Danielle is the fiercest bitch in the room.

[Quentin Ergane]

BEST recap EVER.

*dead*

I think last year's winner,Nicole, resembles ryder Strong from Boy Meets World. http://www.teenidols4you.com/pictures.html?g=Actors&pe=ryders

Thanks for all the lovely entertainment!

Oops, I don't think my Ryder Strong link worked, but it was just a google image search.
http://www.teenidols4you.com/picture/211/4/ryders.html

[BK]

First, let me start by saying that I love your ANTM recaps! Niccole is high fashion and is doing well in France, so leave her be. She does better when wearing better makeup. Danielle is gorgeous and so is Nnenna. Jade looks like Ray Liota and she needs to go. Thank you for the laughs.

[2seahorses]

Everytime I see Jada, she reminds me of one of the hobbits....Pippin or Merry, I forget. The hair is nasty, she could take a hint from Klaus Nomi how to do it. And btw, Winston is where?

[lovejoy]

Ray Liotta!! BK, I'm dying over here. You hit that shit right on the head!

[bromwell]

"Niccole is high fashion and is doing well in France, so leave her be."

What? She had one shoot for Elle (part of her prize, even if Tyra tried to make it sound like it wasn't) modelling couture and it took place in Paris. That's it.

[xoedible_kissesox]

seriously i can't stand jade... i just want to punch her in the face... obviously she's insecure about herself... she's trying to make herself feel better by bringing someone else down... uggh i just wish she would get kicked off

[Bibbs]

I am totally dying here over the Jade=Ray Liotta comment from BK.

So right it hurts!

[Zell]

What took me by complete surprise was that Gina was the most confident she's been on the show... when she was PACKING her bags. She didn't shed a single tear. I hope she takes care of her issues.

I agree, Nnenna's boyfriend is hot. I'd do him. I don't get why people get stupid though. Your girlfriend is on a show like that and she needs a clear head, why do you call her up with bullshit about where she wants the relationship to go?! Clingy people are icky.

[I lovethis]

I cant waitttttttttttt for next week when Tyra collapses!!! not to see it, but to see what you have to say about it! :)

[Libressa]

Ray Liotta? LOL! Maybe Jade is Ray Liotta and Jada Pinkette's love child!

Jade is a typical, insecure bully looking for the weakest victim. She's never picked on Danielle, or Molly Sue, yet. She knows they don't have time for her stupidity.

Gina was goofy, but too needy for this show.

Janice was pure evil. she can be funny sometimes, but she can also be mean. I wonder what she would have done if one of the other girls yelled, "Hey! Look! There's Omarosa!"

Janice is what Janice is, but Tyra is the one with the responsibility to see that these women are not demeaned by Janice. Especially since Janice is on Tyra's show every week talking about how horrible her abuse was; and here she is abusing Gina.

They need to have a rule that the models cannot have boyfriends or girlfriends; or at least not allow them to call. That "worried boyfriend" plotline is getting old. I think Nnenna's boyfriend just wants to make sure his voice is on TV. He's probably cheating on her anyway. The thug.

Danielle, Nnenna, and Molly Sue to the end!

[StickyKeys]

First of all, you are a genius.

Second of all,, I totally feel you on Danielle, but unfortunately the commercial is going to get her. I love her to death though and really want to see her succeed.

Nicole loops so vapid and vacant and a hot mess. It makes me yearn for Nik!

[Sup]

I love that commment about Nnenna's freakyness.

"What is Jade going to do--spank you?"

I think we've yet to see her full kinky side. This is only the beginning.

[princemoney]

i am so sad gina got the boot that other hoe breeze should have got the cheese.

gina is fiz-ine and i would put her in any of my shoots , her and danielle and brooke are the only high fashion girls to me.

nenna is cute but her pressence is practicaly racist.

[Sarah]

In the top pic of Gina with her mouth open, she looks like Terri Schiavo.

[Keisha]

You know you are #4 when I tpye in ANTM on the search engine, that's pretty cool.

[Vicki]

Being washed up and old isn't all that Janice and Jade have in common - they both seem to derive their confidence from putting down or intimidating other people, and it's pathetic.

That Lisa & Tyra video that Judy posted was beyond hysterical in so many ways, though it did get uncomfortable watching Bre's reactions in light of her recent pleas for work.

Is it just me or was Janice's whole posing class an awful parody of modeling? They were two steps away from mime gloves and berets. I want to believe that the girls got more meaningful instruction at some point, but if they were actually supposed to take anything away besides the point-at-the-watch deranged laugh or Gina's hopping, I doubt they did.

[Mandy]

I was hoping for this weeks recap to include -the hot guys from the shot -gina hopping on one leg - joanie not knowing how to say what she supposedly wants to be when she grows up... none the less, still hilarious. love it!! especially the breakdown of gina's "reading of jade" lol

[Mandy]

i typed joanie above when i meant brooke...oops

which reminds me, i really like joanie, she's way hot for a preacher's daughter (or anyone's daughter). i wonder if they'll do an episode where she's fighting on the phone with her dad on the other line hmmm

[Patrick]

i think danielle rocks, and hopefully will win. she's gotta work on that accent though. as for miss jade, i think they're keeping her around just for the drama. she doesn't deserve to win, with that bad attitude of hers, and her bad "acting" skills. her cover girl commercial was too hilarious for words, with all that spinning, mugging, stumbling over lines, and cursing. yeah , great role model. my top 3: danielle, leslie, nnenna.

[Aloud]

i'm still so sad Gina is eliminated...
except speaking,(lol) she looks better than anyone else!!
i think she wants to go home.
at the panels, she's not even trying pose. and no tears.

[Emily]

Hello, I've seen this site a few times and I think it rules. Anyway, I heard in a post that you were wondering what Jay Manuel's body is like. Well, last night I had a dream where I was in Top Model and Jay Manuel admitted he was a bisexual... and then I said 'This dude on the internet was wondering what you looked like with your shirt off'. He did and he is nasty. And I seriously mean it when I say it came to me in a dream... No seriously

[Lily]

Danielle should win...definately. Jade needs to get over herself for real! She looks like a man that had a sex operation. When Danielle said that she would rather homeschool her kids than have then in Jads's class, I almost fell off my chair laughing. What can I say about Nnena but, YOU GO GIRL!!! oh yeah, and get rid of your controlling, future domestic violent possessive controlling boyfriend. Nnena definately has added some drama to the show. Has she hooked up with that fine male model she was kissing yet?

[Me]

ummm... seriously, i think Furonda is slightly retarded. Maybe that's why her head is shaped so weird. but retardation obviously doesn't deter the judges...

if Nicole (season 5) can win a cycle, ANYONE can.
America's Next Top Model is turning into
Special Olympics

[me]

nnenna's boyfriend is a friggin' PSYCHOPATH. why is she with him?

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