Betcha thought I was gonna say "auf wiedersehen," didn't you?
Just a note before I give my final thoughts on Runway -- while it's flattering that some people are anxious to hear what I have to say about the ANTM premiere, the skin on my neck is bubbling from all the hot breath that's been going down it. Seriously. All this important, important television happened to air during a week when I had a heaping amount of non-blog, non-day-job work, and on a night of one Kelley Polar show and one Matthew Herbert DJ set I wasn't about to miss. I'm not complaining, just asking for a break. My ANTM recaps are never up till Friday, anyway.
Except, heh, not this time. I know ANTM is much more exciting than ProjRun (believe, me, I KNOW), I know ProjRun is OVAH, but goddammit, I'm a completist. Sorry if this makes me compulsively disappointing. ANTM thoughts will be up on Monday. I'll give you a preview: Gina is to become the new queen of fourfour. I love her and am jealous of the way her brain works.
So yeah. About ProjRun...
So, it turns out that I was rooting for Santino. I guess, above all, I admire risk-taking, which was less and less a part of both Daniel's and Chloe's designs as time went on (in retrospect, the final three would have been so much more exciting if it included not both, but one of them, Satino and either Nick or Andraé, both of whom knew a thing or two about mixing it up). It's not really fair that Santino was given shit for toning down, and it was really boggling that everyone made such a big deal about his line being "ill-fitting." From my view at the actual show (which was close to the start of the runway, so I saw a lot of backs), it seemed that his and Kara's collections were the only ones that did fit -- a lot of Daniel's and Chloe's just didn't look right from the back. The cameras didn't linger much on this, but here's some stuff I caught from Chloe's collection:
A lot of it's just a little too loose, I think. I'm sure that's a hazard of having to rush and not being allowed to meet with models until, like, three days before the final show. But still, it doesn't seem fair that Santino was singled out, especially because Daniel had at least one dress that was far baggier in the boob area:
Are ya kidding me?
So, yeah, Santino really didn't get a fair shake at judging, but it does make sense that Chloe won. If she tended toward the bland it only made her a more perfect choice for the final destination: Banana Republic. I can't imagine Santino truly assimilating to be a good fit there. Chloe, at least, has the capacity to balance tact with slight weirdness. Yes, her collection was brimming with what I thought looked like '80s fug that's sooooo OVAH . . .
. . . but the stuff she did with seams?
Ingenious! I think subtle quirkiness is about all Banana Republic can handle. So good for Chloe, even if thinking about her fashion as Lunesta so much is making my eyes glaze over and my shoulders slump.
But the best thing about Chloe winning is that her model, Grace, also wins and gets to appear in Elle.
There are simply not enough birdfaced women setting the standard of beauty.
I wouldn't put my finger that close. She might nip at it. Never know.
Anyway, a few other thoughts on the episode:
1. Santino's mom really is the shit!
God. Moms. They do it to me every time. Now I'm getting verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. Here, I'll give you a topic: Santino is neither an Italian saint nor the oft-spoke-of-but-never-seen character on My So-Called Life. Discuss.
What was that about "ill-fitting"?
3. Hey, do you think Chloe might be a business woman?
Ah, thank God. It's confirmed.
Really, way to hit us over the head with that. Do you think Chloe does that all the time? Do you think she walks into diners and asks if they offer a business woman's special?
Maybe she's training to be a powerbitch.
4. Meanwhile, Chloe is fucking bizarre. Sleep deprivation is a good look for her!
"I was so passionate, I feel like I experienced immaculate conception. So here's my bay-beeee!" I like to imagine her giving birth to her collection, one twitching larva at a time, like the dream sequence in Cronenberg's The Fly.
And then, there's the boyfriend. I love the way she says that. If the designing thing doesn't work out, she has a future in phone sex. Or maybe hi-NRG revivalist dance music. She coos better than Stacey Q. Here's a little remix.
And here's the object of her affection:
Not bad at all, although, I'm really distracted by the behooded, bebanged weirdo on the left. They let Fremen into fashion shows?
5. What was up with having Debra Messing as the guest judge? NBC/Bravo tie-in? Is it some hare-brained ProjRun/Will and Grace mash-up like that Grey Gardens/"Hung Up" video that made that rounds a month or two ago? "Here's two things that gays like: let's just slop them together in any old way! They'll eat it up!"
I did love that Heidi hesitated before calling her a star. Ha! Most appropriate intro ever!
6. Ho boy. Hot makeup guy in effect one last time.
Wearing a stupid hat and not looking all that hot, sure, but whatever: he got to speak!
See you in my dreams.
Speaking of that, now it's time to say good night to everyone.
Good night, Tim Gunn:
I'll miss your unflinching honesty.
Good night, Nick.
I'll miss your purse.
Good night, Santino.
I'll miss the beauuuuutiful music you brought into my life.
Good night, Daniel.
I'll miss the great ambivalence your changing attitudes and appearance brought me.
Good night, Chloe.
I'll miss watching you transform into a business-savvy powerbitch.
Good night, Michael Kors.
I'll miss your evolving look and your countless references to only the most obvious in '80s homosexual culture (Madame, you're next!). You'll always be the baddest powerbitch.
Good night, Nina Garcia.
I always thought you were hot. I was just too scared to say it.
Good night, Andraé.
(Orange you glad he got rid of the shorts?)
Good night, Moon.
Good night, Heidi.
Thank you for making me laugh every time you opened your mouth. Or every time you did, like, anything.
Someone steal her and put her in a music box for me. She truly is my sunshine after the rain.
Good night, Project Runway!