The video embedded below is sort of a sequel to my Liza on Larry clips reel. This time around, Paula Abdul is the star, which makes sense -- Paula is cut from the same cloth as someone like Liza or Judy Garland or Whitney (when she's together enough to appear in public). These are all women on the verge whose visibility correlates (or correlated) strongly to their messiness. I realize that guffawing at Paula's seal claps, interpretive dancing and meltdowns on American Idol is a cliché, or at least, a national pastime. It's also extremely rewarding.
The following reel was assembled from Paula's stint shilling jewelry on QVC last week. She recorded two hour-long "shows" -- despite the first one airing at 1:00 a.m., Paula seemed rather composed. Maybe she ran out of happy (or sad) pills for the day. The second, which ran the following night at the more sensible hour of 9:00 was an improvement, which is to say that's she was at least slightly messier. It was this one that I mined solely for the reel. I have to note that it's really fucking bizarre that Paula Abdul spent two straight hours talking on live television last week and didn't start blubbering or slip into a coma or laugh at her imaginary friend or shoo the hummingbirds that she saw hovering around her head. Not once! Could it be that she's getting it together? Could it be that she's finally found the right pill cocktail to even her out? Probably not, but I find it pretty fucking astounding that she has even hours of composure.
Regardless, that second hour did provide its share of insanity (mostly in the form of momentary fits and giggles) that I've torn out and put back together. Yes, this is extremely manipulated and yes, I'm ripping things from their context to make them funnier. But whatever, I'm not the one who made her proclaim, "Right on! Bling's good. Bling is very good. Very, very good." That shit is Wall Street for the hip-hop generation.
She's havin' fun, everybody!
(Note: Bonus Paula madness here.)
(Note 2: fud·dle - v. tr. 1. To put into a state of confusion; befuddle. See Synonyms at confuse. 2. To make drunk; intoxicate. -- I'm not including this to be condescending; I'm including it because I had to look it up after Paula said it. I was glad that I did.)