Fuh-ree-ee-eh-ee

It feels weird to not have some mega-post going up on a Friday, but hey, it's now what we call in the recapping business ("business") "the off-season." Kinda sad, but mostly liberating. I'll put it this way: now I know how Mariah felt when she was released from her Sony contract and scrambled to record a cryptic-but-telling voice message for her website. Holla!

I actually wanted to have the ANTM Cycle 6 wrap-up posted today, but YouTube weirdness and general fatigue prevented it. Oh well -- now you have something to look forward to for after the long weekend. Provided, y'know, that you still care.

In lieu of that, here are two things to ponder. Think hard enough, and they should take up as much time as reading a recap. Concentrate, concentrate.

1. I've been thinking this for months, but I guess I'm saying something now because summer (aka chunk season) is upon us and I care more. This "doctor" on the Hydroxycut commercial...

...looks so much better in the before shot, and I'm not just letting my chunkaholism do the talking.

He's clearly on the way to diesel in the before shot, anyway, and I'm not a huge fan of that odd fit-but-distended belly, but look at his face! The guy seriously aged 10 years in eight weeks. So men, if you're considering dropping 30 lbs., I say think again. Your youthful glow will thank me for it.

2. It might be Winston's birthday today! It's hard to tell, one document that we have says it's tomorrow, while his rabies-vaccine certificate says today (depending on when they started counting the days -- it lists him as being four months, three weeks and three days old on Oct. 20, 2004, which means it's his birthday today if they started counting the day after, when he was actually one day old, or it's tomorrow if they just started counting on his actual birthday). Confusing! But either way, he's 2-years-old, like, now.

Anyway, here's part of the vaccination document:

Note that he used to be called "Crazy." I love that! I mean, I concur wholeheartedly, I just wonder what he was like as a kitten to earn that name. He's gone from "Crazy" to "Crazylegs."

Hi, Back-brace Cat/Possible Birthday Boy! Horrible posture, horrible posture. Maybe I'm a crooked man with a crooked cat. Maybe I need to get him checked for polio. I don't think he was vaccinated for that.

Comments

[Mer]

Rich, can you please put a lil birthday hat or Furonda like tiara on the birthday boy and post the pictures?

[Mia]

I think he's watched too much ANTM and he's posing as if for a women's magazine.

[Q]

Mia I tend to agree that he is doing the coked out(check his powdery dry nose) "abandoned on the street" model thing, maybe his daddies should turn off the tv for a bit and also have the "gay daddies make gay babies" talk with him....Just in case!!

[kait]

you know, Winston share's a birthday with John Wanye and Sally Ride (and me).

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

my dog sits the same way, with one distended leg at an odd, kickstand-like angle.

and i'm sorry, but there is no way that Winston was 2.6 lbs. No way, no how. Unless Hottie from Flava of Love actually had a 28-inch waist.

[Scout]

Happy Birthday, Winnie! Love ya!

I don't care about the Doctor's belly or face, to be honest. I do, however, have a different concern: "Why does he walk like he has an enormous dildo rammed up his ass?"

[pphillihpp]

<<"Why does he walk like he has an enormous dildo rammed up his ass?">>

all of a sudden, i'm feeling very warm, and finding it hard to concentrate at work.

[Lizzy]

Yes Rich, only you could make Polio funny.

[karsh]

Yes - hot doctor looks MUCH hotter in the Before shot. Damn!

[mariaaaaa]

I will still care! So long as you keep posting, I'll keep showing up.
What's up with the "doctor's" weird belly? I think they had him eat like 100 ribs and a case of beer before taking the pic, b/c that's not flab, that's "my gut is busting from the inside". They do that you know... the fat pill company's take otherwise fit people, have them chunk it up and then have them lose the weight using their product. That's why they all look so great "after", because their "before" selves were already fit with just a layer of hastily added chub.
Speaking of chub... doesn't Janet look hot on the cover of People? I would like to see the non-Photoshopped version tho'. It's more inspirational to see slightly flawed fitness than airbrushed perfection.
Anyhoo, enjoy the off season, Rich!

[Val]

You appreciate the Big Huggy Men as well? I am still swooning over your Throbbing Gristle reference, I need to sit down now.

[Marcy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINSTON!!!

We at rootMag are huge fans of your beautiful furry weirdness! You make our cat, Verbal, insane with jealousy....

Happy B-Day, Winston...

rootMag.typepad.com

[duane]

I just think he's hot either way. Makes me want to take that shit if I can loose my chunk!

[zack morris]

Hey man
i just stumbled upon your website a few days ago when i read your recaps for ANTM and they are f-ing hilarious! seriously dying of laughter over here.....you mentioned you're kind of sad that its over for the season, but over here in Canada we have the first cycle of Canada's Next Top Model starting on wednesday....i don't know how close you live to canada if you can get any canadian stations but that might settle your Top Model withdrawals for now! although there wouldn't be any Tyra-isms...but Jay Manuel will be the photoshoot director for this one too....just thought you might be interested! great site.

[stroll]

I think Dr. Marshall is hot, though I prefer the "after" picture.

Happy birthday to Winston!

[Elizabeth]

Happy Birthday to the coolest cat outside of Kansas:
http://i4.tinypic.com/10ql8ht.png

[just broke]

I'm really hoping you'll post about Taylor Hicks actually winning AI. I don't even have a TV but you made me loathe him with your early commentary.

[Rich]

Oh, I really have nothing to say about that that I didn't say before. Except this maybe. No. 1, baby! Whooo!

[candy]

and where the hell is midwestern university? learn surgery -- and how to tip a stripper!

[Elissa (Nigel's mom)]

I also like the before picture.

Oh and I think today is Nigel's (my kitty) Birthday !(if the SPCA had the right info) He is 1. (his SPCA name was Leslie)

Happy Birthday to Winston.

[Just little me]

My ex did a series of photos for one of these "Fitness for Life" contests. He was pretty solid (and chunky, yes sir!) but in the "before" pic he made himself look very bloated and out of shape. He intentionally gave himself a big distended belly like the doc in the pic - he just had to throw his stomach forward and keep bad posture. I must say I am not a big fan of six-pack stomachs ever since a friend pointed out that they made people look like lobsters...

I've heard that a lot of weight loss drugs find injured athletes for the pictures. They're normally super-fit people, but they strained some tendons or whatever and have to rest for weeks/months, so they naturally put on some pounds. Then when they're healed they go back to working out and the pounds melt off.

[pphillihpp]

taylor h-h-h...(sorry, i'm gagging trying to get the name out)

without a tv, i didn't get to exhibit my usual addiction to AI this time around, but caught the finale with h-h-hi...and mcph..mcph...(gagging, again). both truly repellent.

hey, i just made a connection: say their names, hurl your lunch, lose weight, look like dr. hottie. it's that simple.

[Carly]

Happy Birthday, Winnie! (Perhaps more toys are in order for the birthday boy?)

[Josh]

Happy Birthday, Winston!