Just like Jesse James

Awwww. Unlike cockroaches and, well, Cher, Bradley is not eternal. But a what a guy, you know? It kinda sucks that one of the most clearly down-to-earth people on the show is now gone. I mean, that exit interview was practically heartbreaking. "Given where I'm at, I did what I did and that's it. Y'know, I'm going home." Don't fret, Bradley: we both know that everywhere you go, there you are.

In other news, yay!

Yay!!! Michael finally won a challenge!

Congrats, stud. Oops, is that too gay? (Michael's straight straight straight, you know! And he thinks speculation on his sexuality is rude. Actually, in the above interview, I think Andy handles the subject really brilliantly, remaining respectful while milking Michael for info about his non-gayness. Milking Michael's mind, that is, not his prostate.)

Michael deserved to win, too.

I haven't worn a lot of hotpants in my days, but I still can tell that those are good ones.

Kayne's impressed me. Particularly the way it made his model's butt cheeks look like moving pork chops when she walked.

Laura's I thought was totally dead-on and underrated -- she should have been in the Top 3 instead of Angela (not that hers wasn't cute, too).

And Jeffrey's was overrated -- I can't believe he turned this out without getting any shit from the judges:

I know it's a pretty loose association, but when I looked at it, I didn't think of Madonna, but another '80s titan -- George Michael, specifically his 90's video for "Too Funky." Remember the motorcycle outfit?

Yep. Pretty much.

Meanwhile...

1. How about that sewing machine fight? Huh? Huh? Christ, these people bring the tedium. Here's my attempt at livening up a bunch of bickering bitches:

Meanwhile, here's Jeffrey's recap of the situation.

You know, I was going to Photoshop a duck bill on him, but I don't think he needs any help looking ridiculous.

I mean, really.

I don't need to see that!

2. This, on the other hand, I do need to see:

Roaaaar! The sex kitten's up and on the prowl.

And, from the WTF files is Angela's choice of sleepwear.

I wonder if her bed's as busy as her nightgown?

And in other adventures in Angela's wardrobe:

You know, seeing this combined with that "C is for Crunk" shirt I recently saw on Bedford (what's "A" for, "Aiight?") makes me want to design a t-shirt of my own:

Shut up. Angela thought it was funny.

3. Oh, I should probably do this now:

fleur·chon (flôr shôn) noun

1. any ruffled, flower-like adornment meant to accent ruffled, flower-like garments (see picture)
2. any pseudo-quirky signature a Project Runway contestant plans to milk for all its worth: Uli's wild and crazy pattern combinations are her fleurchon

4. And rounding out the Angela commentary (it's out of love, not hate, I assure you)...

"Uh, I just basically peed my pants." It's becoming routine!

5. How about shaking things up so the models actually got to, you know, think?

"Now we're feeling a little out of control. We don't know these girls, we don't know if they know us. We know that the key to the next challenge is now resting in their hands and that's a little frightening."

Laura did not have time to invest emotional energy into something as trivial as a model.

It made for a zany time, though, right?

"I've never said this before. Models: I'm sending in the designers!" WHY-ULD. It's like Project Runway meets Jackass. How are they going to top it next week? Sew Tim's scrotum to his pinstriped suit?

I like that we got to hear from the model Amanda. And hear from and hear from. Doesn't she kinda look like Aileen Wuornos?

But, like, in a hot way?

Also, babe: if he ended up buying you an iPod Shuffle, he didn't want to get you that iPod that "hasn't come out yet" enough. He probably didn't want to get that for you at all.

Just a thought.

6. Yo, I don't know if my brain is naturally deteriorating or if this show is accelerating the process, but after I grabbed this shot...

...I knew I had to do this to it...

...but I'm not sure why.

7.

"I'm not tryin' to play Captain Save-a-Ho, as we say in the hood, or you know, or whatever, but..." Oh come off it, Michael. First the straight thing and now this? I think Captain Save-a-Ho is exactly what you're trying to play and here's proof:

8. Proof that you're gay: you're so good at rolling your eyes, you can turn into a zombie for a split second:

That seriously isn't Photoshopped.

Meanwhile, here's your new ringtone.

9. Proof that you're gay, part 2: your name is on your shears.

Well, I never!

10. Once again, HMG is the picture of fleeting.

Sadness.

11. It's great to have Michael Kors back, commenting on crotches and whatnot. (It seriously was insane...)

The outfit came with a spare set of female genitalia.

But, uh, did you notice that Michael and a delightfully bitchy Diane von Furstenberg had the exact same shade of skin color?

Admit it Diane, you and Michael were rubbing each other down with the same bottle of sunless tanner backstage. Admit it!

See? The palms don't lie.

12. Yo, check out Heidi's face:

Pretty busy, right? I'm not gonna dog her too much, though, because she looked particularly hot this episode.

And, she said something amazing. Responding to Angela's dress, she said, "I would want to have that dress in every color."

Whoa. I do believe she's channeling Florrie Fisher by way of Jerri Blank ("...in bone, in beige, in tan!"). I think this makes her officially insane. That's my girl!

Comments

[fifi]

UO is for Urban Outfitters--yay, hilarious.
and thanks for clearing up Fleurchon
and by the way, we had to see that nasty quacker's nakedness 2 x, no thanx

[Gretchen Weiners]

I want a box of Marshmallow Neuroses right now! I almost spit out my tea at that one. TYFMMLOASMM is for thank you for making me laugh on a shitty Monday morning!

[Desmon]

Hey Rich! Wonderful recap as usual!
- I was sooo happy that Michael finally won a challenge, but it sucks that he won't have immunity for the next challenge.
- I felt really bad for the two models who got the boot at the beginning of the show. You know that bag was totally rigged with only 10 (not 12) names!
- When Jeffrey was ganging up on Angela, I loved how Laura put him in his place. I swear Jeffrey is like the Jade of Project Runway ("the undiscovered designer", perhaps?).
- And where's the "shut up!" sound clip for Kayne? His model was annoying as hell!

[jennnaa]

Nice recap Rich, as usual i was laughing the whole timee. No hot makeup guy this week? That's a shame. Good thing he has a myspace!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=24010839

(Just thought you'd like to know if you didn't already) =]

[mer]

Allison...meow! Love the Capt. Save-A-Ho, Rich. You are a genius.

[Meghan]

That picture of zombie Kayne is going to haunt my dreams.

The Michael interview link didn't work, well, not for me...

I'm rooting for him, but every fashion-enabled male from Atlanta I ever met was gay. He's gonna need to make out with Allison to prove me wrong...

[brandy]

Rich-Ive been meaning to tell you this for a while but you kind of look like my ex, it's sort of weird.
Angelas sleep wear looks like the most uncomfortable thing ever all those lumps!

[elb]

Ok, first of all, I totally know someone who works for Kayne in Norman. He's got a tiny dog named Tiara and was recently seen at Hobby Lobby purchasing yards and yards of teal tulle.

Second, I don't need a clip of him telling his model to shut up because it is burned into my mind with a laser.

[ww]

What in the world was Heidi saying in the gif from #12?? I know there was a point where she looked totally crazy and I bet that was it, I just dont't remember what she was saying.

[tree]

Yay for Buckaroo Bonzai references!!!
Also, now I can't decide whether I would rather take acid with Jay McCarroll or Bradley... the latter totally reminds me of a Hampshire "College" student.

[kathryn]

Hah, that's definitely what I was thinking with the iPod thing... the man don't love her at all if he gives her an iPod shuffle! :X

And thank you for the Little Vinny snacks...that made my month.

[Toby]

I love youuu.

[Just little me]

Was it me, or Kayne was just savoring every single bad comment delivered to the other contestants? It's a contest, of course, but he doesn't have to SMILE when someone else's work is shot down. It may have been the editing but... Anyway, his dress looked good from the front but the fit was awful from the back. The model looked like a contestant from "Flavor of Love Season 3: Haute Couture Hos".

[Keisha]

Haha, Amanda needs more love than anyone can or wants to give her. Clearly she was the little girl that didn't really have any friends bc she was awkward so she talked to dolls (or plants or animals or walls - something like that) until she became hot, so she assumed ppl wanted to listen to her when she was talking and all they wanted to do was stare at her moving porkchops. (lol - thanks for that, I couldn't think of what it looked like, but that was dead-on!) And I agree. Ipod shuffle = no love.

yay for Michael though! Finally some camera time. But anyway, the link to his interview doesn't work for me either. Bummed...

[Rich]

The interview link has been updated. That's what I get for attempting to enter the complicated world of trackbacks.

[penelope]

Allison is so hot. Bracelets to bed??? Damn. That shot of Allison and Angela leads me to imagine that, in the next scene, allison rips off angela's lumpy nightie and they have hot passionate sex. Allison wearing only bracelets and angela in glasses with a fleurchon over each nipple. Mmmmmm....fleurchon

[trick please]

Rich, I thought you liked chunk, is Jeffrey not chunky enough?

Loving Michael as Captain Save-a-Ho. I almost sprayed my poor monitor with coffee

[timgunnfan1964]

Wow, Angela even wears a full-tilt boogie quilted extravaganza of puff to bed!

[Kim]

I totally thought of Jerri Blank when Heidi said she needed that dress in every color. I'd give everything to hear Heidi do a Jerri Blank impression.

[Jess]

Little Vinny made my Monday, and, just maybe, my whole damn week. Perfect. And, I do have to agree that Amanda looks a little serial killer-esque. Aileen would be proud.

Lots of thanks for another FANTASTIC recap.

[Rich]

Jeffrey's body on a handsome twentysomething? Bring it on. Jeffrey's body on Jeffrey: I don't need to see that. Any body on Jeffrey: I don't need to seeeeeee that.

[AntBee]

You really are cute, Rich, and oh yeah, your recaps are very entertaining. I loved the Little Vinny! I wish we got this show on Bravo here in Canada. I happened to catch it once on an NBC station from the west coast, but haven't come across it again.

[Lisa]

Did anyone else catch the look of disdain on Nina's face as she watched Angela (and her ridiculous outfit) walk down the runway? A picture is worth a thousand nasty words, indeed.

[perfectlylegal]

I read a lot of Project Commentary, and I have to say I have been waiting for someone to point out that Angela HAS already peed her pants over a challenge, and have found myself getting more disappointed with every failed mention I have read. That is, until this gem came along. I'm hooked. You had me at hello.