Oh right, Bonnie's distinguishing feature was that big horn on her head.
Now I remember her. She was the unicorn.
Word is that Alison was not happy about this elimination.
Blah blah blah, designs, blah blah blah.
I had a hard time caring about the designs in light of all the duh-rahhhhh-muhhhhh that went down this episode. I did, however, enjoy the inception of the designs, particularly when Vincent tried to tell us that gray is the new...brown.
Also awesome was the non-sketching Angela's sketch.
Did Tim Burton oversee the sketching of those arms? Is she designing an outfit or Edward Scissorhands?
And then there was Keith. One of his final moments was one of his most entertaining.
"I have a convertible tank top, which you can pull down and use as a dress." And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape, right Little Keithie?
I'll miss him. Except, not really. I really don't want to watch someone who's arrogant enough to think that 1) they're above the rules of the competition they willfully entered (and thus, above their competitors) and 2) that they won't get caught with contraband even though every fucking living second is being filmed. Oh, expect for those mysterious off-camera hours.
In other news, leaving the show has hindered him little, particularly in the looks department.
1. If you, for some reason, need to relive those tense minutes of Keith's booting and you don't have three minutes, no worries. I got you. Here's the entire ordeal summed up using cartoon talk bubbles.
Aw. I bet this would have made her feel better:
And, in other news, everybody hates Angela!
First of all, I didn't even know that Uli was a bitch (she's talking about having to live with other contestants as number of them narrows).
Here are reactions to Angela's (eventually winning) sketch being among the four that were chosen to be made:
(I never realized it before he pursed his lips, but Vincent resembles Steven Tyler, doesn't he?)
Here's Jeffrey being a prick (imagine that!):
Let the record show that Jeffrey was not picked by Angela, who chose first in the team selection. In fact, Jeffrey was the second to last person chosen:
Michael, though, was in fact chosen by Angela.
Not even Angela's chosen model wanted to work with her.
And, I don't know if this counts as hate, but it certainly seems disdainful:
"It was more appropriate for this particular challenge than the full-tilt-boogie-Angela-quilted extravaganza of puff." I would not want to get on Laura's bad side and have her rattle off a bunch of specific descriptions at me to tell me how I am. That's to say that she's a genius.
But anyway: poor Angela! She's practically starved for affection. Look at how thrilled she becomes via human contact:
She is officially the underdog.
That's all it takes to have me rooting for her...
...well, that and her signature rosettes. They're going to make her famous, you know.
The baboon butt ain't so bad, either.
What is it with her panels? I think she wants us to stare at her genital region.
(Thanks go to Shruti for spotting the dots.)
3. Even though Michael was a part of that torrent of hate, he's great. I'm so glad that this guy is revealing himself to be the gem I knew he would be once given a bit of screen time.
He makes it easy to love him.
4. And, speaking of the model selection, I'm so glad that these contestants are willing to mix it up instead of pearl-clutching at the very suggestion of switching models (remember the motherfuckin' walk-off aka Zulemagate?).
I love how Uli was weirder than ever when claiming Keith's Narzi.
"I just took her away from him." Bitchy and witchy!
5. Bradley's a funny guy, right?
I don't know what the hell this means, but it makes me laugh:
"I just felt like Bonnie was hounding me more than necessary. Maybe Bonnie was doing that because she doesn't like my beard. Maybe I should shave everything and just leave the mustache. Maybe then she would have lightened up." Maybe!
Upon hearing his rant that went, "I'm a fish out of water, I'm a squid with no ocean, I'm an eagle with no sky," slut machine noted that he's totally Phish. And not just because he compared himself to a fish.
Glance at this:
He fits right in, right? He fits into their music, too. He's at least as high as a Care Bear.
The lock-jawed pout. The visible vein. The black-tinted shades. The bulging biceps. The cocktail ring. All of them scream, "Butch"...like a bitch.
Alternately: Robert, shut it. For real.
Also, Kayne's from the South, so he loves color (yeah, I have no idea)...
...what's your excuse?
He's always doing that!
Ciao! Francesco Rinaldi!
9. Looooove how comfortable Vera Wang's gotten in Michael Kors' seat.
"I guess, maybe, it doesn't feel as fun as I might have expected from the three off you." Like she's known them forever. "It's been a party ever since I weaned you all from my bosom. Why doesn't your design reflect this?!"
But you know what I love more?
Ho, shit! She just said "fanny!" I wonder if she meant fanny U.S. (butt) or fanny U.K. (vagina). Either way, that deserves a loop! Here's fanny x5.
10. Can we talk about Tim for a second? I like the guy, I do. Buuuutttt...he's supposed to be trustworthy, an advisor to the contestants, and yet you see him constantly shilling whatever Bravo throws his way.
I mean, PR for the Cloisters? What?
Whatever. It's part of the job. But isn't he a little too into the catchphrases? It's like he's compulsive! Even when he was giving everyone a serious talk, he threw in "Carry on" and "Make it work" practically back-to-back. I mean, he's either on some Tourette's-type shit or he's becoming his own bobblehead doll.
11. And yet, I find the same behavior to be charming when coming from Heidi.
Maybe I just expect less. Or maybe it's the fact that she really is a talking doll.
Pull the string to hear one of five crowd-pleasing phrases!
The last one is my favorite, until she runs it into the ground.