Wait, who?

Oh right, Bonnie's distinguishing feature was that big horn on her head.

Now I remember her. She was the unicorn.

Word is that Alison was not happy about this elimination.

Blah blah blah, designs, blah blah blah.

Whatever.

I had a hard time caring about the designs in light of all the duh-rahhhhh-muhhhhh that went down this episode. I did, however, enjoy the inception of the designs, particularly when Vincent tried to tell us that gray is the new...brown.

Also awesome was the non-sketching Angela's sketch.

Did Tim Burton oversee the sketching of those arms? Is she designing an outfit or Edward Scissorhands?

And then there was Keith. One of his final moments was one of his most entertaining.

"I have a convertible tank top, which you can pull down and use as a dress." And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape, right Little Keithie?

I'll miss him. Except, not really. I really don't want to watch someone who's arrogant enough to think that 1) they're above the rules of the competition they willfully entered (and thus, above their competitors) and 2) that they won't get caught with contraband even though every fucking living second is being filmed. Oh, expect for those mysterious off-camera hours.

In other news, leaving the show has hindered him little, particularly in the looks department.

1. If you, for some reason, need to relive those tense minutes of Keith's booting and you don't have three minutes, no worries. I got you. Here's the entire ordeal summed up using cartoon talk bubbles.

He really did deserve what he had coming (what an asshole, indeed), but that didn't stop me from being moved by Alison's compassion.

Aw. I bet this would have made her feel better:

2.

And, in other news, everybody hates Angela!

First of all, I didn't even know that Uli was a bitch (she's talking about having to live with other contestants as number of them narrows).

Here are reactions to Angela's (eventually winning) sketch being among the four that were chosen to be made:

(I never realized it before he pursed his lips, but Vincent resembles Steven Tyler, doesn't he?)

Here's Jeffrey being a prick (imagine that!):

"I was afraid that Angela might pick me. Cuz almost more than having to make something I don't like, um, I really hate making something for someone I don't like."

Let the record show that Jeffrey was not picked by Angela, who chose first in the team selection. In fact, Jeffrey was the second to last person chosen:

Ha.

Michael, though, was in fact chosen by Angela.

"When Angela picked me as a teammate, I was kinda like, 'Awww...daaaaaaaamn!'"

Not even Angela's chosen model wanted to work with her.

And, I don't know if this counts as hate, but it certainly seems disdainful:

"It was more appropriate for this particular challenge than the full-tilt-boogie-Angela-quilted extravaganza of puff." I would not want to get on Laura's bad side and have her rattle off a bunch of specific descriptions at me to tell me how I am. That's to say that she's a genius.

But anyway: poor Angela! She's practically starved for affection. Look at how thrilled she becomes via human contact:

She is officially the underdog.

That's all it takes to have me rooting for her...

...well, that and her signature rosettes. They're going to make her famous, you know.

The baboon butt ain't so bad, either.

What is it with her panels? I think she wants us to stare at her genital region.

(Thanks go to Shruti for spotting the dots.)

3. Even though Michael was a part of that torrent of hate, he's great. I'm so glad that this guy is revealing himself to be the gem I knew he would be once given a bit of screen time.

He makes it easy to love him.

Really easy.

4. And, speaking of the model selection, I'm so glad that these contestants are willing to mix it up instead of pearl-clutching at the very suggestion of switching models (remember the motherfuckin' walk-off aka Zulemagate?).

I love how Uli was weirder than ever when claiming Keith's Narzi.

"I just took her away from him." Bitchy and witchy!

5. Bradley's a funny guy, right?

I don't know what the hell this means, but it makes me laugh:

"I just felt like Bonnie was hounding me more than necessary. Maybe Bonnie was doing that because she doesn't like my beard. Maybe I should shave everything and just leave the mustache. Maybe then she would have lightened up." Maybe!

Upon hearing his rant that went, "I'm a fish out of water, I'm a squid with no ocean, I'm an eagle with no sky," slut machine noted that he's totally Phish. And not just because he compared himself to a fish.

Glance at this:

He fits right in, right? He fits into their music, too. He's at least as high as a Care Bear.

6.

The lock-jawed pout. The visible vein. The black-tinted shades. The bulging biceps. The cocktail ring. All of them scream, "Butch"...like a bitch.

Alternately: Robert, shut it. For real.

Also, Kayne's from the South, so he loves color (yeah, I have no idea)...

...what's your excuse?

7.

He's always doing that!

8.

Ciao! Francesco Rinaldi!

9. Looooove how comfortable Vera Wang's gotten in Michael Kors' seat.

"I guess, maybe, it doesn't feel as fun as I might have expected from the three off you." Like she's known them forever. "It's been a party ever since I weaned you all from my bosom. Why doesn't your design reflect this?!"

But you know what I love more?

"You're up to her fanny."

Ho, shit! She just said "fanny!" I wonder if she meant fanny U.S. (butt) or fanny U.K. (vagina). Either way, that deserves a loop! Here's fanny x5.

10. Can we talk about Tim for a second? I like the guy, I do. Buuuutttt...he's supposed to be trustworthy, an advisor to the contestants, and yet you see him constantly shilling whatever Bravo throws his way.

I mean, PR for the Cloisters? What?

Whatever. It's part of the job. But isn't he a little too into the catchphrases? It's like he's compulsive! Even when he was giving everyone a serious talk, he threw in "Carry on" and "Make it work" practically back-to-back. I mean, he's either on some Tourette's-type shit or he's becoming his own bobblehead doll.

11. And yet, I find the same behavior to be charming when coming from Heidi.

Maybe I just expect less. Or maybe it's the fact that she really is a talking doll.

Pull the string to hear one of five crowd-pleasing phrases!

"Yoo-hoo!"
"One day you're in, and the next day you're out."
"Make it work."
"Auf wiedersehen."
"They look cheap, no?"

The last one is my favorite, until she runs it into the ground.

Comments

[Ceece]

hooray, what a fabulous birthday present. I love your recaps. Bradley totally does have the Phish vibe going on!

[Hateraid]

I love the CareBears flying by. Genius.

Michael is my favorite. The boy can sew and is a master at constructon.

Laura's taste is impeccable. We just need to see her step outside of her comfort zone...the same clothes and see her do something more edgy.

[Just Some Guy]

I'm starting to get the feeling that Laura grew up in a household with a mother who walked around the house in a cocktail dress at 10:30 in the morning carrying a huge martini while delivering a constant barrage of emotionally withering commentary. Laura is the worst kind of bitch - a sophisticated one - and probably a second or third generation sophisticated bitch at that. I like her style, but I don't like her.

Please note that this comment was written with integrity and seriousness of purpose.

[ohnoyoudi'int]

"I'm a squid with no ocean ... "

Bradley rules.

[Mer]

What is so great about Robert? I don't get it. Michael all the way. And Allison had made me an offical lesbian.

[erin]

i think bradley's design company says it all:

mountains, rivers & peacocks

http://www.mountainsriversandpeacocks.com/

[Talix18]

I'm in the shower this morning, late, Monday, sleepy, blah blah yuck until Monday! Four Four ProjRun recap! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

This squee is for you.

[A.J.]

You are a genius. "I'll miss him. Except, not really."

Yay, more Michael. Love him. I think he and Laura are going to be in the final three.

You have me looking for the hot makeup guy now, though he's only shown for a nanosecond.

[Orchide]

Keith as Lil Edie...PRICELESS!!!
Love you Rich...hahahaaaa

[svrb]

keith as little edie = genius. that really is the best costume for today. although the gayness factor is almost through the roof with that one. i love it though.

more great lines: bradley's "i was looking at the nut...i thought was really nice" and alison's "i love the idea of skinny jeans." just because, you know, i truly believe that she does love it, with all her heart.

michael all the way!

[moss]

who is bradley's model? This is like the ugliest 16 year old boy ever

http://www.mountainsriversandpeacocks.com/fall_05/f05_04.html

[Crow]

I can't believe you didn't make an animated loop of Robert's "Ouch!" face while he was being near-auf'd.

[Eliz]

What's up with the tribble on Vincent's calf?

[megan]

have you noticed that for every runway show the last like, 3 episodes heidi's been wearing black? she wears whatever when she announces the challenges, but she wears black for the runway shows. is this because she's mourning michael kors' absence? where IS michael kors? apparently he returns to us next week, so if she's not wearing black then, we'll know what's up.

[Jason]

Thanks Rich for a perfect recap!! Although I have read enough shit about this past week's PR episode, I always come back to the fourfour for essential commentary.

[ohnoyoudi'int]

OMG ... I'm sorry, I aint no fashionista (I just watch for the sheer bitchiness and "duh-rahhhhh-muhhhh") but did you SEE the clothes on Bradley's website? Yikes.

He's a squid with no clue.

[dafina girl]

So funny! Kayne is officially auf'd for me... That whole Freudian projection/denial moment of his saying, "But do you not see that you brought this on yourself?" was so awful. No, bitch, you brought it on me by tattle-tale-ing. Not that Keith didn't deserve to go but why pour acid in the wound? Yuck. What queeny-bitchy thing can get really tired.

[dafina girl]

"That" queeny-bitchy thing" Sorry; need coffee.

[fifi]

god that mountainsriversand peacocks is some nasty looking stuff!
PLus, the pathetic convertible tank top should hav given Keith the boot in itself. I used to hate Laura with her whole I'm so classy I never wear sweats act but what with her take down of the Angela puffbot doohicky mess I know am kind of rooting for her! I feel like Heidi should come out drinking Yoo Hoo and saying yoo hoo all at once, or maybe she should just wear a large dress resembling a yoo hoo bottle while saying yoo hoo and maybe add some pual and joe from Target owlie wingdings and hoo hoo what a look rather than her usual black that would be!

[Oujisama-san]

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I'm now anxious for mondays and poor Alison! her heart was broken when she found out. I love her ^^

[Jason]

Gurl, your cartoon talk bubbles are GENIUS! Especially that last one, so appropriately had me singing "ooh ooh oooh I love you!"

[Keisha]

Haha, Rich I love you again and again! I saw HOT makeup guy this ep, they actually left the camera on him a bit longer than normal. And Keith - great designer, TERRIBLE amounts of arrogance. And he still will NOT admit it! Just let it go!

But Michael and Laura were the ppl that saved that outfit from being Angela-kitsch over again. Haha, and the fact that they are like BFFs CRACKS ME UP. LOVE them.

Does anybody else read "Kanye" instead of "Kayne"?

[chrisafer]

Oh my damn--crying from laughter. I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed Angela's fancy pants.

[YoBimbo]

If anyone should come in the next morning after a hard night's work on a piece only to find it slashed to ribbons, my money will be on Alison. Just sayin'. She's got some serious evil behind those eyes. She'll f'n skewer you with that unicorn horn. Betcha.

Love the Heidi doll.

[inothernews]

They had Angela's outfit up in the display window of the Marshall Field's (soon-to-be Macy's, more's the pity) in downtown Minneapolis. They had Katherine (who lives here) comment: http://www.startribune.com/462/story/594288.html

"Will Gerdes purchase one?
"It's not my style," she said."

Ouch!