As sort of a reward to myself for the hours I spent writing about the show over the course of its third season, I will not be recapping the final episode of Project Runway. I'm tired, it's over and besides, there really wasn't much material worth mining in the finale episode. Trying to pull a long-form recap out of 20 minutes of kindness and runway collections would be like trying to pull blood out of a Harry Winston. I'm not sure that anyone cares at this point; I'm positive that I don't. It seems mighty pointless, now that the show is over, to be grabbing a .gif of Laura's runway strut, or illustrating the trash dump that Park Pleating must be (Sanford & Son? Ha!), or wondering aloud about exactly what Laura was questioning if it wasn't Jeffrey's integrity, or putting a sound file of "wowness" up or giving Michael the Lagerfeldian fan he's shrieking for in this shot:
Well, OK. Fine.
How could I possibly resist? I am human, you know.
Anyway, I will say that unlike Winston and 95 percent of viewers, I like that Jeffrey won. Uli's collection was stronger and Laura's had higher highs, but from a purely in-it-for-the-drama POV, I like that the ultra-prick took it all without ever really redeeming himself (save the scant instances of damage control that I pointed out). It was ballsy on the part of the judges/producers, and the mass outrage in its wake has been entertaining, as well. Again, purely in it for the drama.
Oh, and I do have this for you: Heidi's brief discussion with John Fleming, EVP and CMO of Wal-Mart (Stores Division)...
...has produced your new ringtone. It's her response when he said any of the designers working for Wal-Mart was "always a possibility." Nice wheeze, Heids. Hear it in motion. This will be your final ProjRun new ringtone, sniff, sniff. Think of me when you get that booty call. Lowenstein, Lowenstein.
(Thanks to Rachel for pointing that one out.)
I have to give a big, well-mannered thank you to Blogging Project Runway, whose beyond-generous authors have never wavered in their support of my blog, no matter how profane, disgusting or uncalled for my recaps were. You guys are seriously too good to me.
Finally, thanks to the readers. Thanks for your emails and comments, especially the ones calling me on my shit. I can't say I really regret anything I've included in these recaps, but dissent is the roadway to thinking and understanding that I appreciate the most.
It's been fun, guys.