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joanie4eva

First, first, fiiiiirst!!!!
Oh yeah I think Eugena finally took a good picture!

joanie4eva

By the way, Lourdes is in France not Spain!

matt

The Virgin Melrose rocks.

As does, Home Alone Amanda style, Impetigo (what was up with that anyways), Judging from tyra's uterus, and the whole entire Mama Tyra bit.

But nothing. NOTHING. Could have prepared me for Michelle's Deenie walk! HA!!!!!

It is really weird. Like she decided to do the horse walk and combined it with scoliosis.

But do you think that later when her dad confronts her about her whoring around she yells: It's because of the Scoliosis Dad!

Oh and yes, Deenie's mom wanted her to be a model. All Deenie wanted to do was masturbate.

Jessie

What I liked best was that in the second Tyraism she talks about how she wants them to come out of this competition with intellegence. I laughed out loud at that one.

david

fantastic. thanks!

THIS FUCKING SUCKED SORRY TO SAY

i love winston

Kicking ass as usual. I can't believe there are only two more episodes left. Sniff.

Is Tyra is kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way?

Olalamji

I can't take this show seriously anymore. It has no integrity or seriousness of purpose. And last cycles winner, 'Dani', oh dear!

missy

as far as the 10:57 comment goes...what are you talking about? stop being a dumpster cunt and dont put up a post if you're just gonna be a stupid twat and say dumb shit.

moving on: this was an AMAZING post...i didnt want it to end! lol melrose prettier as mother theresa, "coming from a place of mama," and MALEFICENT! kudos bitch.

nhuixnhuix

The dramatic arc of the show needs someone to come from behind and threaten an upset and the racial balance of the show requires a black girl to be in the finals. We were on the verge of having an all-white finals for the first time since the first season.
Eugena is pretty but she is no ANTM winner potential so that kind of obvious manipulation sucks.
Oh well.

Kate

Loved the Phelps reference- hahahahaha. There is no end to Melrose's sketchiness. Kudos for another awesome post.

Penny Woods

Aww, I thought that J was going to be killed in a bullfight by Jay.

jammer

malificent. good lord.
did you see tyra the other day with beyonce and her mama on? they had a fashion show and they dragged out the corpses of top models past-- joanie, FURONDA, mercedes, a pregnant/fat porn-star face (the amazonian one from the season with eva, i think?), AND LLUVY. it was the hottest of all messes. thank god for joanie!

amanda

uhhh this didn't suck and that person is a fucking idiot for writing that!!!!! keep doing what you are doing cause its hilarious and don't listen to the haters!!!!

Joe

Alas -

You seem genuinely bored with ANTM. I don't particularly blame you since it's the least surprising show on television. Hope it doesn't last, your recaps are usually inspired. Have you lost your Tyra mojo?

James Derek Dwyer

"your gender and species elude me" hee hee

Sarah

I loved when Tyra had the epiphany that maybe Michelle was sacrificing her chances for Amanda and all the judges had simultaneous braingasms. "oooh Tyra you are SOOO right!! Why couldn't WE come up with that!?!?"

Sarah

It took me a minute, but OMFG Deenie!!!

You never fail to amaze me, Rich. Keep up the good work.

Sarah

By the by, I thought that CariDee was crying to her boyfriend last episode?

Scandalicious.

i was watching the cycle one marathon (which i missed) on mtv or somehting over the weekend, and jeez tyra was so pretty without her 4-tone eyeshadow and weird lasagna hair. it was only 3 years ago, wtf happened to her?

Brandon H

Thanks for the shout out, Rich! Glad you saw the evil in Miss J that I did. As far as Eugena goes, I was fooled at first too into thinking that she was going to come up from behind and win the competition, but they keep playing up how cold she is. The writers are setting us up to have her in the final two but then have CariDee win out.

I can understand how the early comment was made by nhuixnhuix about the show playing the race card with having Eugena make it this far but this is America and this IS television- so they're going to pick the winner according to demographic so not to exclude any racial group. If Eva and then Naima wouldn't have won in a row before, do you believe that boring ass, doll faced Nicole could have actually beat out Nik who did better than her the entire competition! Please, she won because the audience would have wanted to see more than just a biracial and/or fair-skinned african american win for a third time in a row.

shocka

as always spot-on and hilarious... did anyone else notice ty-ty's oh-so-subtle 3/4 profile stance during elimination? big girl walks it like she talks it.

Maya

Speaking of weird racial tension, has anyone else noticed that the white girls usually win challanges and only pick other white girls to share in the reward?

Also, why did they make the girls take photographs with the bull in the arena when they were just going to edit in different footage of the bull? Did puttign that "fear factor" in and endagering the contestants, photographers, and crew really make good tv? I think not. That was Bull**** (sorry i could not resist the pun)

KarinGal

"Probably the worst costume for today, I'd say." Oh, please tell me you're going to do a dissection of Grey Gardens, just like you did with Living Dolls...

You pull off "staunch" so well.

LaSexorcisto

Brandon: I don't exactly agree with your take on why Nicole won but I do agree that Nik was the best overall. I didn't mind Nicole winning tho, she's doing pretty well these days compared to some of the other winners like Eva and Naima.

Rich, once again, you make my case of the Mondays go away. The Amanda WTF exchange with the kind Spaniard was brilliant.

CariDee HAS been acting like she has it in the bag. Which she does, but I didn't mind that she was made to grovel. Melrose is still...Melrose. Her picture was really bad; her face looked so pinched! Michelle and Amanda will always be ugly to me and I won't be convinced otherwise. Eugena took a good picture, yes. I still don't see what's so great about her. Her "journey" has taken her from terrible to mediocre. Yay.

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