Justin Timberlake, Douchebag

I find myself often going out of my way to experience things I hate. I'm not a masochist, I just like being right -- I like unspoken validity some asshole friend of a friend gives you whenever he shows up and starts talking about his AmEx bill or starts using the word "hipster" 5,000 times in a single conversation (this is totally off-topic, but I'll never get around to saying it otherwise: BITCHING ABOUT HIPSTERS ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU USE THE WORD "HIPSTER" REPEATEDLY IS ABOUT THE MOST HIPSTSER THING YOU CAN DO, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP, HIPSTER). Sorry about that. My point is that being right is fun and so is funneling your negative energy to a single source, which is why I watched HBO's Labor Day broadcast of Justin Timberlake's FutureSex/LoveShow concert. But you know what? I was wrong: previously, I had thought JT was a mere weenie. Not the case. He is, instead, a douchebag.

And god, what a douchebag he is. His middle name is Massengil. Instead of a nose, he has a nozzle. He is a not-so-fresh feeling in my genitals on a breezy beach day.

Seriously. He's the kind of asshole who tells people to get out their lighters (and, in a 2007 twist, cell phones!) to salute him during a ballad. He laughs at his own unfunny jokes. He makes falsetto interjections for no reason. He wipes a (one) nonexistent tear from his eye to exemplify gratitude. He acts like he's playing the guitar, when in fact, he might not be -- check the second clip in the video below (and the slow-mo replay that follows). I know some people over-strum, but it looks to me like his rhythm is seriously off, especially when he strums and no sound comes out. I can't say for sure if he's faking it, but I wouldn't put it past him -- his craft is artifice. The dichotomy of his pipsqueak Lothario and castrated pussy personas that made FutureSex/LoveSounds such a chore to get through is only amplified in his live show. I don't buy either act. They're so flashy and broad and cartoonishly dudeish, it's as though he was raised by '80s-movie frat boys. I know that pop music revels in falseness, but Timberlake's shtick is particularly unbelievable. I'm insulted that he thinks I'm dumb enough to buy it.

So yeah, that's why he repeatedly annoys me and to celebrate that annoyance, I've assembled some clips that best exemplify his douchiness. If you're with me on that point, I think you'll get this. If you're not, and you actually like the guy, I feel like this video will be a big so-what. In that case, you're already gone and there's nothing I can do for you. Tonight, I shall drying a (one) nonexistent tear for you.

(Download)

Comments

[Meg]

I'm glad you have these feelings about JT, too. I was beginning to think all 'mos thought he was OMG LOLZ FAB-U-LOUS! He makes me take a one way trip to Vom Town. Overrated. I even thought he was overrated back in the day when I was 13 years old and he was in N Sync...now at 21, I still think he's lame.

there is still soo much NSync in him. the only difference is he can swear and be sexual. that thing where he faked doggie style was so bizarre.

but! the video gave me a good laugh, so all is well.

[TIff]

Hah! I love you for this post.

[Kitty]

I like how he interjects a "fucking" every now and then into his little drops of linguistic vomit. He reminds me of a middle school kid that just discovered "bad words" and tries them out whenever his parents are out of the room.
I've always wanted to punch Justin Timberlake in the teeth, but now, after watching that wonderful video you made, I REALLY want to punch him in the teeth.

[Ryan]

Thank you!

I hate this douchebag-punk-ass bitch. Can someone please tell me why he embarasses himself playing both the piano and guitar in his shows when he only knows three chords?? It doesn't make us a think you are a "real" musician, asshole.

[Vagabondblogger]

Great video. He thinks an awful lot of himself, and he's so full of shit. Maybe he should stick it in a box - and then throw it away.

[Daniel]

Looks the same as the rest of the pop/hip-hop/R&B tripe I see. Every. Fucking. Day.

I wish I could have watched this and saved myself 2.5 hours last night. Douchebag or not, there was no excuse for the marathon smoooooth jazz fest that was the "Futuresex/Loveshow." And I love how Britney's last tour got her crucified for being "too risque," while Justin Doublestandardlake gets away with constant swearing, on-stage drinking, and ass fucking.

[lizzbee]

Ugh-- he looks like a younger, more stubbly Mel Gibson in those clips. Spew!

[Tania]

OMG I'm so embarrassed for Justin Timberlake. I have never seen such douchebaggery. I can't stop cringing. Thank you for revealing the truth.

[Madame M]

...his pipsqueak Lothario and castrated pussy personas...

You're a funny guy, Rich, but it is your absolutely amazing and crisp use of language that brings me to my knees (though I prefer "personae" as the plural).

That was compelling proof of Massengillity as any I've ever seen.

(though I'm not sure how much I've truly seen)

[moss]

But what is so much worse about this than anything else? He's giving the teenyboppers what they want. He's good at it.

This to me is what all pop music is like, a sort of winking vulgarity. I don't see how Justin Timberlake is in a class by himself.

[shannon]

My best friend and I watched it on fast forward last night (seriously could the songs be any longer, damn!) and I bet him $5 that JT was going to say something to the effect of "It's always been my dream to play Madison Square Garden... blah blah blah" in his encore speech. Luckily it wasn't a real bet because he didn't say exactly that, but that whole thing about how fucking great his job is pissed me off. Oh Justin... Even though he sucks and is only adored by 13 year old girls and most of the twinky gay boy population, he's going to be laughing all the way to the bank when he can retire at 30 and I'll be working until the day I die.

[Boodie]

I have not been able to stand Justin Trousersnake since nipplegate with Janet, he hung her out to dry, she took ALL the blame and instead of him being even the slightest bit gentlemanly about it, weasled his way out of any responsibility so fast he set a new speed record for a snake.

[spazmo]

Moss~ "winking vulgarity" is a wonderful term that, unfortunately, conjures up a nauseating image of Justin's penis.

A penis dripping with faux-sincerity and custard-like self-satisfaction.

[red ranger]

well the only songs that I liked from him is "nothing else" from justified and "til the end of time" in fs/ls. I agree that he is too narcistic so ima start comparing him to a similar artist and that is no other than Robin Thicke. I read your Robin Thicke article a LONG back and he is still the same, therefore I love (100x) Robin Thicke for not being any close to JT.

[Dean]

Tool.

[MichaelTLH]

The little hop-step-bow at the end made me vomit.

[LaSexorcisto]

So I was in Vegas this past weekend and my friend really really wanted to go see this shitbag's show at Mandalay Bay. And the only way I could get her to relent was to agree to go to the Celine show. Not my cup of tea as far as music but Celine is just amazing, in the same way I'd imagine direct contact with an alien species would be. She's just a fruitcake. Anyway, I'll stop rambling and will say that looking at Rich's assembled video montage, I'm glad I spent my $ on crazy Celine instead of Justin Massengill.

[Mike]

I'm so cool, I hate all things pop! JT has done something very few people have done. He has cred in the hip hop scene, the indie rock scene (see http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/ for examples), and just about any other scene. He managed to win over people from all walks. And while you can sit there and talk about what a douche he is, he gets to count his money and sleep with the top 10 hottest chicks in Hollywood.

[David]

Every time I see him, I think about that time he cried on Punk'd and called his mommy. That makes me smile...

[LaSexorcisto]

"And while you can sit there and talk about what a douche he is, he gets to count his money and sleep with the top 10 hottest chicks in Hollywood."

LOL I was waiting for the whole "You're just jealooz" bit. And btw, Cameron Diaz is ugly as hell and Jessica Biel looks like a man. Only Scarlett would qualify even though she SOUNDS like a man. I don't get why he gets cred in the hip hop scene beyond trying to sell records to little white girls. I don't hate pop music at all. You should see my Madonna record collection! I just hate JT because he's a f-in' poser.

[Beth S]

He's so proud of himself, he and Beyonce need to get together and have a concert where they just congratulate each other over and over.

[moss]

SPAZMO!! HURRRRL

that is so gross, ahhaahahah.

and LOL.. I'm glad I'm not friends with "Go see Timberlake with me" "Oh only if you go see Celine Dion with me"

It's like, "Cut off your nipple with me" .."Only if we get to put knives up our asses!"

YAY FRIENDSHIP!!

[Katie W.]

That was hilarious. Every time the "Hell Yeah!" looped, I would snort because I was laughing so hard. While I think it's a bit fabulous that he's been nominated for an Emmy for "Dick in a Box," I just can't stand the guy. Thanks, Rich, for providing me with such hilarity on an otherwise boring work day. (Also: I love your "Rock of Love" blog. You Rock, Rich The Blogger!)

[LaSexorcisto]

moss: Just to clarify, I didn't really wanna go to see either Timberdouche or Celine. My friend basically bitched and whined about not going to see Timberdouche so I asked if there was another show she wanted to see, and she chose crazy-ass Celine.

Frankly I rather spend my Vegas money at the blackjack table instead of the overpriced shows. Timberdouche tickets were going for up to $200.

[Mark Oshiro]

You are totally right.

[Mark Oshiro]

You are totally right.

[Baboo]

it's funny how it's entertaining to us to see him be such a gawk, it's almost like watching a bug being crushed.
I almost (ALMOST) feel bad that he has to be such a douche to suceed

[Leanne]

I don't feel one way or the other about him. I judge celebs by how well they host Saturday Night Live. He made me laugh with Dick in a Box, Omeletteville, and the Gibbs brothers, so I guess he's okay in my book. Regardless of the music, he has a rock hard body. We can all just mute the fucker and watch sweat drip down his chest.

[deeyou]

God yes, i thought i was the only one.

[Solstice]

Naughty girls need love too! Wow.... you took me way back Rich.
"Samantha Foxx is such a wild dame"
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Full Force?!??!?! LOL
Thanks for that one.

[Henry Evil]

The assfucking pantomime was the worst thing I've ever seen.

[Henry Evil]

By the way, Rich, I love the new banner. I hope you write a piece about the new Halloween remake? I'd like to hear what you thought of it.

[moss]

LaSexorcisto: I am sorry, I wasn't reading carefully and I misunderstood. Thanks for the clarification.. and at least you didn't have to see Mariah Carey! That would have made me claw my ears off.

[milkyaqua]

Forget Justin, he's no more of a tool than any other major pop star (Beyonce included).

What do you think of Britney's Gimme More?

[Julia]

Here is my secret shame: I think he is cute and I am over 43 years old. His music makes me want to gag and he cannot dance and that hat needs to go, the list goes on and on, oh and he swears too much , JUST to be cool, not like real swearing, but he is nice for me to look at.
There, I confess.

[Dorkatron]

Rich, I swear we must share a brain or something. Maybe a nerve.

I fregan hate this moron, he is the suckiest suck that ever sucked. And knowing you feel the same way makes ME feel happy that Im right again.

p.s. The only funny thing about Dick in a Box we're the outfits & the hair.

[Christina]

Hee hee. I love you Rich. The douche reel was spectacular.

[CaliGirl]

Thanks: I got a free douche!!! A douche in a box!!!!

[felipeanuel]

I have a soft spot for cheesy entertainment and Justin is like big old cute hunk of white medium cheddar. Therefore I'm a bit of a fan -- or maybe a stan-- when it comes to him and damn near felt compelled to pounce on like all those folks you riled up with your assessment of "Dreamgirls" (You don't understand cheese culture!). But I feel where you're coming from.

I saw the show live and couldn't help but to roll my eyes more than a fews times(the superfluous cursing and bump&grind act just to get a rise from fawning fans and the gospel choir curtain piece). And I saw the show on HBO and couldn't help but to fast-forward through a few numbers.

So thankfully I'm not too far gone and that video highlight reel definitely had me wiping away existent tears as a result of the hilarity. Although that lip-licking loops got me some kind of other way. He got a real purdy mouth.

[Get Over Yourself]

Mike, you clearly don't read fourfour very much. He's a HUGE pop fan, so your first sentence is way off, but nice try.

Also, Justin lost a LOT of credibility for the way he handled the Super Bowl, and a lot of black folks turned on him. I'm pretty sure Pitchfork doesn't speak for the whole indie rock scene, so that claim seems skeptical, too (not to mention you didn't provide any actual examples, just a generic link).

[svrb]

I can't believe this is his job either. Give the people what they want, I suppose. I was only minorly annoyed by him from the neverending onslaught of commercials for this crap on HBO before watching that; now it's full-on loathe.

[Donny B]

There's something very musical theater about him. He's like the "jazz hands" of pop/r&b.

[M]

As if I couldn't love you any more than I already do, you go and write this. My heart is just pouring over with love right now. You had me at, "His middle name is Massengil." LOVE you!!!! (Hate the JT. He's as fresh as a Summer's Eve.)

[Greg]

Thanks God someone is pointing out what a fraud this asshole is! He is a choir nerd who found success. Have you seen that clip of him on "Star Search" or the clip of him in the childs' beauty pageant. That anyone would embrace him as sexy or a lothario is hilarious to me. Any time I see him, I think what fools people are for buying his act. Oh, and I feel the same way about Usher.

[anono]

im to busy masturbating to Britney Spear's new single to care about JT.

[Amish-a Barton]

Over the years, I've been fascinated by JT's 'transformation' from teeny-teen to Blow-thario.

Rich, thanks for succinctly documenting that the lamb-haired douche of yesteryear has indeed grown into the quasi-adult mimedouche of today.

[Christina]

I have to say that... I secretly like Justin Timberlake. I'm pretty sure this is a common personality disorder amongst us lesbians. It didn't hurt that Scarlett was in one of his videos...

That was funny. The 'black-ccent' took it over the top for me. I can not stand that ass hole.

[Dara]

This asshole has always sucked. Sucked, sucked, suckity, suck, suck. I loathe him and his "music".

What a douchebag.

And, I think he's homely.

Could he lick his lips some more?

I just made my husband read this, now he luvs you, Rich...

[goldend]

Fake, fake, fake... a real douche, he sells himself as a south gentleman when we all know what he did to Britney and Janet...ASSHOLE!!!

His ways always scream "love me, love me, I'm cute and nice and cool", he's so fake it makes me cringe, yes he's loaded but you know what? I don't fuckin care as long as he dissapears sometime in the near future.

[blah]

douchey? yes. poser? of course. but i have to say that my love is pretty much the shit and one of the better pop songs of the past year. like damn good. and overall i think the album is much catchier than a lot of the other stuff out there, though i'm hardly on team jt.

[Jayne]

Oh Rich, my love for your grows by leaps and bounds every day, but DAMN, this post was flat-out SPECTACULAR. Thank you for all of your stellar video editing skills...that part at the end when Massengil is talking about how "fucking cool" his "job" is made me laugh out loud at the office. Good times, my friend!

And even though I SO agree with you on what a douche JT is, I'd still do him every which way from Thursday...but with tape over his mouth, of course. ;)

[blah]

yeah and the whole selling-out on miss jackson really took his doucheyness to a whole new level.

[mac]

Did somebody order a wigger?

[mac]

I actually take that back. He was only a wanna-be rapper for the first album. Now he's just a suburbanite's version of Lucas Prata.

I think there were lots of dancers that got disowned by their parents that night...

[Colleen]

A hipster walks into a bar and says, "This place sucks! It's full of hipsters."

[ted]

"You know I wake up everymorning and..."

...roll around in my mattress of cash from you suckers!

...read a few more pages in my urban dictionary, fo' shizzle, bee-YOOTCH!

...treat myself to a self-made bukkake breakfast?

Egads, s'offal.

When will they hire Rich to make a clipshow for the Oscars? One can only imagine...

[Pook]

Oh my God. I just rolled my eyes so far back into my head I think they are stuck now.

*HUGE sigh of disgust*

[melissa]

I was expecting jazz-hand jizzdown finale. "Hell yeeeaah!"

[Carolyn]

Thanks for taking one for the team. I dont know how you made it through this and kept both eyes.

[Barba boosh]

The part where he's leaning down over the keyboard and grinning at the camera is so John Tesh.

[kushiro]

"I can't believe that this is my job! Yes, it's a huge surprise to me that my:

a) completely formulaic music, created and market-tested by a huge PR and marketing team;

b) completlely artificial image, carefully calculated by stylists, agents, and that same PR machine; and

c) ubiquitous media presence, orchestrated through a sustained bombardment in fame-friendly magazines, TV programs, and radio outlets

have somehow enabled me to make outrageous amounts of money off an unwitting and easily impressed public, despite the utterly banal, forgettable, and interchangeable nature of all my musical output.

Yes, who could have seen that coming? I am blessed."

[jordanbaker]

The bow at the end?

That's how the guys in my Junior High Swing Choir bowed.

[Suzy]

Okkay, the tongue through the teeth makes me want to scrub out my brain with comet and a brillo pad. So creeeeeepy!!!
Yuck.

[Danielle]

I propose a 3-some w/Rich, Moss & myself!

[Frank]

lol, my cousin was at this concert.

[mel]

omg THANKYOUSOMUCHHHH for saying what I have ALWAYS thought about Justin Timberlake. Yeah I do like his music, but he actually IS the biggest douche...in life. Thank you so very much for this!!!

[Josh]

How the hell is this weenie indie rock? When has he ever qualified? He's about as indie rock as Avril Lavigne is punk.

Tweenie idiots.

[White Choco]

Oh HAIL no.

Don't be disrespecting my man JT. Yes, he's a momma's boy. Yes, he was catering to a certain lowest common denominator in that HBO special.

Didn't you like him in Black Snake Moan?

What if he was dressed as an omelette like on SNL?

Speaking of SNL, what if he was givin' you his d*ck in a box?

What if he was BEATING BRIT'S ASS in a real-life DANCE OFF? That happened, and that is some hard core, you-got-served shit. You gotta love Justin, man.

Reconsider!

One more thing---RICH---were you in Miami Beach tonight, at El Rancho Grande, drinking a big green drink? If not, your shaved-headed cousin sure was.

[jason]

A perfectly exquisite dissection of the difference between "weenie" and "douche"
Thank you.

[Christin]

I went to a Justin Timberlake concert a couple months ago for the same reason--to confirm that he was as hilariously toolbaggy as I believed. I wasn't disappointed. We also got the verbatim "I'm gonna be real with ya'll, I can't believe this is my job" speech, like he'd just been inspired to say that spontaneously. He pretended to play a keytar for us; it was a less-than-religious experience. (The URL in my name points to my blog entry on the concert, which is actually pretty forgiving, because I was struck more by amusement than disgust at the end of the night.)

[jessica]

I was hoping someone would do a "New York/New York Cittaaaaay" mash up. He said it a lot... a lot a lot. Too much, really. And he kept saying cittaaaaaay. Ew. Shut up. I know where you are. Dick.

Not nearly as good as the Madonna shows.

[bob smith]

oh ricardo, i agree with you completely. i think its disturbing how this former boy band WIGGABOI now has some sort of street cred. he is HORRIBLE. and im sorry to bring wigger into this but im at a loss for words.
what really started pissing me off about this boy is how he did janet wrong. and then started talking ish about price?
BOY, SIT THE FUCK DOWN!
i just simply cannot stand this cracker ass ass bitch.
and im half cracker. ugh

[bob smith]

....and gay.

[bob smith]

*prince

[bob smith]

have a blessed day

[bexley]

NICE ONE.

My three favourite JT anecdotes:

1. Reading somewhere on the internet a few years ago that JT has "mom hair".

2. Reading an interview with JT (probably the worst, most idiotic, douchey interview I have ever read since a Rolling Stone feature on Gwen Stefani back in the No Doubt days. That woman is a fucking idiot, how come nobody talks about that?) in which he said that if he were a basketball player, he would want to be called "white chocolate".

3. When Prince got pissy that JT thought he was "bringing sexy back". Uh, it never went anywhere asshole.

[hammy]

Seriously, I would really like to know if he can play those instruments. If not, he should be hung by the tallest yardarm. And since when do all these drama queen pussies get all the ass? In my high school they would be mocked until they were back in the closet. Speaking of closets, how many times does a straight guy change in the middle of a concert? Um, ZERO. Diamond David Lee Roth would be ashamed to call himself a frontman after seeing this crap. Oh, and regarding Janet and nipplegate, the f-ing song says "I'll have you naked by the end of this song..." so he was complicit and a liar. THIS GUY IS A TOOL OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.

[moss]

I propose a 3-some w/Rich, Moss & myself!

HOTNESS!!!

but I think I am worthy only to serve Rich plus I'm not equipped with the right kind of sticky-outy parts

[Nora]

RETCH! His face is big-time busted. He is beyond busted!

[Liz]

Well, in a way, since he was so young when he got famous, and spent so much time with the other members of nsync, he may in fact have been raised by '80s-movie frat boys. I think you've got it on the nose there, Rich.

[Juliette]

Thank you so much for this awesomely horrible compilation.

I will never understand how a man who looks and sounds like a 14 year-old boy ever became a "sex symbol".

Maybe you should make a clip video out of douche-y moments from his videos. One comes to mind right away: In that "senorita" song, there is this part when he smacks a girl's ass, but in the most tentative, girlish way.

[ShazztaMacNasty]

I actually think his songs are vaguely entertaining. "My Love" was undeniably one of the best singles of the year. My problem with this assbag is that his ego is way way WAAAAAAY bigger than what his talent merits it to be. It's ridiculous. He thinks he's some fuckin' music messiah when all he really is is a corny white boy with a high voice and good producers.

[Jessica]

Wow, I never knew JT was such a douche...I sort of just ignored him, but holy crap! DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE!!!

[John]

He's a popular entertainer. He could be so, so, so much worse.

[sean]

Pasty & vile.

[JH]

Ugh. This douche has more money than God *and* he'll probably be considered the Sinatra of the 00's twenty years from now.

[poldy]

i don't know what you guys are talking about!

sure, it's forced to drink shots of tequila with the band & talk about how much you love drinking, & yes, there is much much much that is lame about his demeanor.

the non-ballady tunes are hot, & really, he's so totally awesome, & this is coming from a straight, 32-year old man.

[justsomedude]

I am soo sickened now.

[medsofned]

You mentioned the guitar-wielding portion of the montage as being questionable. Upon a more careful listen it seems as though there are sounds associated with his strums. The problem lies in the fact that they are merely sounds and not actual chords. Though this does lend some "live" cred to this fart show, the damned thing is being run through a vast array of effects to mask any actual notes played or lack of rythm precision. Jonny Greenwood or anyone else proficient wiht a guitar this is art. From this douchebag, no. A crafty transformation from a reputable instrument into a "look I can play guitar too" prop. Come on Justin, where is your sousaphone and, for that matter, a washtub bass would be sweet, asshole. An audience member landing a laser-guided turd on the strings without him touching it would produce the same sound the audience heard when he was "strumming" it. Sadly I was absent at this one. This asshole totally needs more money. Let's all line up and buy our tickets.

Ned

[Morgan]

SO I actually went to this concert last night while he was in vancouver, and it was one of the best live shows I've seen.

You can rag all you want on him but it won't change the fact that pretty much everyone likes his music, and isn't that what it's suposed to be about? The music? Excuse me if I ignore ego over something I enjoy listening to, something that is marginally original in a cast of cloned beats.

Some people are dicks, big fucking deal. Pretty sure you calling him out on every one of his traits that you find makes him an asshole also puts you in that category.

[Labia Minora-Majora]

I would SOOOO suck his c*ck! Yummerz! :)

[Avatar]

Ha-ha, I saved myself the suffering and didn't watch his concert, a.k.a. his masturbatory love letter to himself! In your FACE, Rich!

[Mara]

"Justin Timberlake, Douchebag"

um, i hope you're not just realizing this NOW...

i've known for YEARS. fell for his 'tarded ass till he dropped janet quicker than he drops his black-cent at the grammy's. fucking prick.

white-bred justin is nothing without his BLACK producers. that is all.

oh and so typical.

[Magster]

Dude, you misspelled "dichotomy." It's actually "doucheotomy." I would have also accepted the alternate spelling "dickotomy" which is the British version of the word.

[JC]

Even the so-called "click" languages have a form of "douche." In Zulu, for example, JT is described as "siki-click-click-unguh-click," which translates roughly to, "Douchey villager who gets left outside as bait for lions."

[JaneDough]

"I'm so cool, I hate all things pop! JT has done something very few people have done. He has cred in the hip hop scene,"

WTH are you smoking? JT doesn't have cred in the Hip Hop scene his ass is still out there for flaking on Janet and biting on Usher's style. Timbo will work with anyone (remember Brit) so that's not a valid example of having "hip hop" cred.

I could care less either way about JT. I didn't buy any of his CDs with NSYNK or solo. The only thing that bothered me about the video was when a guy on stage came to take a tray and JT said "Get that out of my face." At first I wasn't sure if that's what he said so I went back to hear it again and that's exactly what he said. A lot of stars are rude, wack and fake but to see him say that while on stage by a mic is crazy. Now I do care but I don't like what I see.

[spiffy]

Wow, 99% haters... I was expecting to read this flood of JT fans to come and defend him.

I don't think I detest him as much as y'all do; but most of the time I don't like to see him playing live, precisely for the same reasons Rich had already mentioned. The only time I thought he was good was his "Lovestoned" number on last year's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show -- and that was because of the choreography. But his studio tracks are somewhat pleasant, and I'll admit that I rather enjoyed his SNL appearances (sans the live performances of his own songs, and that stupid 'mophobic bit about not wanting to serenade a dude.)

But thanks Rich! I was thinking of leeching the show off torrents; now I can save the bandwidth!

[akasha]

I agree with the sentiment, Rich, even though my hate does not go so deep. I actually liked him in Nsync and with his first solo album, but his latest one really turned me off. I just can't relate to the sound he's got going now, the whole SexyBack thing really irritates me.

Something wierd's happening with his looks too, it's like he's slowly turning into slightly pervy middle-aged dude. Have you seen the video to 'Ayo Technology' with 50 Cent? I can totally see him as creepy stalker guy now!

[rj]

omg I'm so glad you posted this -- I looooove JT Too! WhooooooT!

[Fairmaiden327]

Rich, I just saw this with my 12 year old who loves him and when he saw him faux fuck the dancer, he was like, "he is a douchebag, I'm out."

Ummmm, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[Vanessa]

Rich, I love you so much I actually sometimes watch that shitty Bret Michaels show just to give your Celebreality posts the proper context (I know, I could be the lamest human being alive.)

And if you didn't think so just based on the above confession alone, this will probably seal it: I love me some JT. LOVE him. I wasn't really an Nsync fan because I was old enough to remember Jordache jeans when they came out, but I love me some solo JT. Love both albums. Think he is the epitome of cuteness-after you and Tim Gunn of course. Think he is criminally underrated as a musician-damnit it, I say it without irony. And I'm sad that the only poster who even partly agrees with me about his undoucheyness seems to base their opinion solely on their desire to get a mouthful of his junk.

Sadness. But I still love you.

[BrianG]

Mermaids, gay, Riley?

The douchiest part was when he made the Hulk Hogan ear while playing the electric piano keyboard with one hand....

I've watched this clip now at least 6 times. Am I part douche for doing so? Rich, PLEASE recap Britney's performance at the VMA's!

[Izzy]

Oh thank you, thank you so much for pointing this out. After half-watching that tedious concert I felt bad for being bored, glad to see I'm not the only one.
Now if only people would realize that Futursex/Lovesounds blatantly rips off N.E.R.D's Fly or Die and JC Chasez's Schizophrenic I would believe in Santa Claus again.

[Tai]

I think I like Justin because he seems to revel in his douchebaggery. Still, loved the post Rich!

Also, while watching Britney "perform" yesterday at the VMAs, all I was thinking was "God, I hope Rich recaps this!" So, big thanks!

[Hilda]

He's a punk. But he does put on a good show.

[Nictate]

Bless you, FourFour, for calling Timberfake out. I've never understood his appeal.

Great line, by the way:

"And god, what a douchebag he is. His middle name is Massengil."

I would like to brag about a line I wrote about The Justin back when he exposed Janet's boobage at the SuperBowl:

"I don't know what all the fuss is about. It's not the first time he's ripped something off from a Jackson."

[gabba]

A guy took me to a JT concert (with Pink as the warmup) for a first (and last) date. Pink rocked, JT SUCKED. I just got why the teeny boppers like him -- his package is all smashed down like a Ken doll and HE'S NOT SEXY IN THE LEAST -- hence, not threatening. If he was really sexy, girls would probably be afraid of him (as would their parents). I liked the song Sexy Back til that night when I realized he was only "indicating" sexy and phoning in his performance -- not at all present.

[cwistomoweina]

um....
did he seriously pantomime assfucking a girl right-side up?

[victoria]

I think this is stupid. I mean, he's a douchebag for laughing, licking his lips and etc? So we're all douchebags. Who has never acted like a fool? No one. Also, he's a showman, he HAS to entertain you, laughing, talkin' to the audience or whatever. I would fall asleep watching only one person singing or playing an instrument and not dancing or speaking to the fans. Yes, sometimes, the dance routines he has in his concerts are a bit "sexual", but it makes sense, 'cause the name of the concert and album is FutureSEX, so it's ridiculous if you point that as bein' stupid. About the guitar thing, I was at his concert, and all the things he did were absolutely LIVE. He was singing (he never lipsyncs) while playing the piano (you can't play difficult notes WHILE you sing, duh), the guitar and dancing. To the ones talkin' 'bout the producers, he is one of the most hardworking people out there. He co produced and co wrote his whole album, wrote and produced for a whole other bunch of artists (between them, MADONNA, he did both things in 10/13 songs of her upcoming album). I don't understand how can people hate so much someone you don't know. He might sometimes be arrogant (he's a human, he can make mistakes, and has a personality like everyone), and sometimes he misbehaves in public, but mainly because of the cameras IN THE FACE, and the fans that bother him in the most inappropriate moment (for ex, when he's having lunch). He needs his personal space like everyone else. Yet, people bash him for that... it's lame. Simply lame.

[victoria]

Oh, and misbehavin' in public (or making mistakes during an interview) doesn't mean you are a bad person in your real private life. Once, my mates and I asked for photos, and he was a cool guy with us (we weren't asking for pictures while he was eating, or working or entering a club/hotel, ok?). People are so special when it comes to celebrities... so sad...