Happy Halloween '07!

Some people use Halloween as an excuse to dress slutty (thanks, Joel Stein, I haven't seen Mean Girls in years!) or as an excuse to dress as a woman (especially if you aren't one) or an excuse to dress, period. I don't. The closest I'm coming to a costume this year is this sweater with some brown pants, and in turn, it's the closest I've come to a costume, period, in, like, 10 years. I don't care enough to make the effort. Part of that has to do with Tyra Banks showing me the proper facial expressions to use to get candy. Who needs trick or treating when you've got fierceness?

Anyway, I do treasure Halloween for giving me an excuse to dress up my cats. I've repeated this anecdote before, but whatever, I'm gonna do it again: very early in the life of this blog, someone wrote me an email begging me never to dress Winston up. "He's too good for that," she said. I totally agree. He doesn't need no stinking costumes...except sometimes he does because it's fun. It's not that deep, he's just a retarded cat, you know? I don't like to break protocol often, but certainly the excuse of Halloween is too valid to pass up.

My boyfriend is generally the creative mastermind behind Winston's costumes and most things Winston, for that matter. He came up with the idea to dress Winston this year as Jabba the Hutt. He was inspired when he watched Winston lazily lounge on this platform we have in the living room while smoking his hookah. Just kidding. Winston's more of a blunt man. Anyway, he figured that all we'd need to do is throw Winston in the leg of some pantyhose and viola: Jabba. Yeah, well, uh, things didn't exactly work out that way.

Like, I don't know what the fuck that is, but I do know that it's about my favorite picture in the world.

I guess the idea was that such a costume would evoke an elegant sense of simplicity...or, uh, something. There's nothing worse than failing after exerting so much effort. Winston doesn't really look like Jabba the Hutt, but at least it took us about two minutes to fuck up and not, like, hours.

Like, what the hell is he? My boyfriend thought maybe a slug or an earthworm. Because I'm never less than dorky, I like to think he's a sandworm from Dune.

An action figure completes the look:

If only his poop got you high. Spice it is not, that I can tell you.

Rudy's costume turned out far more successfully. Continuing in the theme of costumes that obscure his face, we decided to dress him as Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th Pt. 2 (that's pre-hockey mask Jason):

Rudy didn't love the mask, but he totally begged to keep the overalls.

We're allowing him to. Rudy! Mermaids! Gaaaay!

Oh, and when we took the mask off (in two seconds, don't freak out an call PETA about my cat's oxygen supply, please), Rudy's ear was all turned inside out so that he really did look nasty like an unmasked Jason:

I took some video of Winston getting into his costume. Really, it's pretty uneventful, but it really does go to show how well-behaved he is. He'll let you do anything to him, really. I love living with such a generous beast:

But just because he'll let you do anything doesn't mean he likes it. I think his face in the shot below says it all:

I guess maybe he's a belly-dancer, too?

Comments

[Jen]

I have been laughing my ass off at my desk - you are so awesome. The action figure really does a lot for his look. I love your cats! Poor Rudy - he's like the step-child. I think we need a Rudy appreciation day.

[Jen]

And first! WOO-HOO! I love Rich!

[Tyler]

This is my favorite thing ever.

[Leanna]

This is pure gold. If only all cat haters could figure out the pure joy of the animal is to humiliate it in a costume! Winston also kind of resembles those worms from tremors.

[kathy j]

it's ET!

Winston looks like E.T. in the first shot.

[Madame M]

You're too funny. But seriously, "viola"? ("...and viola: Jabba.") I'm going to choose to believe that was a typo, Rick.

[bostongirl]

Comments:

-I love how Winston is laying on his side in the pantyhose with a look of "God, someone kill me."

-I don't want to know where you got toddler overalls to fit Rudy. Or if you had them laying around

-I'm a Williamsburg hipster for Halloween (I normally wear Old Navy, I could give a shit.) Rocking out the skinny black jeans, Adidas, ironic ringer tee, army jacket, headphones around my neck, cigarette behind the ear, a Starbucks cup, side ponytail, granny glasses, and a sign that says I'm So Fucking Ironic. Can also double as an NYU student.

Happy Halloween everyone!

[barby]

Too. Awesome. For. Words.

[Iphie]

I second the Rudy appreciation day idea. I am amazed at how willing Winston is to let you stuff him into a stocking. I tried to show my own cats the video so they could see an example of how a good cat behaves -- all I got for my efforts was a reminder of the weapons they naturally have at their disposal. That, and an ironic use of the word "pussy" aimed at Winston.

[trick please]

Yay! Rudy in overalls is too cute. Though I can't believe he didn't try to shake himself out of it. Oh that first pic of Winston and the one of the action figure on his back are too hilarious!

[Sarah G]

Winston looks eerily like Dianne in that last pic.

[Gwen]

First of all, this was awesome. Winston & Rudy are the best. Secondly, I thought I was the only person who love the David Lynch version of Dune! Winston does look like one of the sand worms. You should really try to get high from his poop. You never know!

[Kathy]

I'm also laughing my ass off at my desk. This post just made Halloween even more awesome. :) What awesome cats you have.

[Courtney]

OMG. So I am new to your blog but have been by a couple of times now and I seriously can't even tell you how hilariously awesome you are!!!

[MizoFizo]

That's no ordinary action figure...that's a Luke Skywalker! Is Winston actually the worm in the asteroid from Empire?

I wish I wasn't allergic to cats so I could have one to dress up. I think I'd go with Mrs. Voorhees. I'd learn to knit just to make the sweater...

[shannon]

I actually think I like Rudy better out of your two cats... Rudy needs more screen time, definitely.

OMFG. Rich, thank you (and Winston) for making my day. I cannot believe that cat simply let you pack him into the pantyhose!

Winston as a sandworm is about 38 shades of wrong. So wrong, it's right. Keep up the good work!

[Driver B]

This is a post of awesome. Thanks dude!

[Anne]

yes, Winston looks exacty like ET in shot #1!! It's uncanny!!

[Karen]

Yes. MORE RUDY TIME!!! The first photo in the mask killed me dead. I was yelled at by the co workers for laughing.

Winston in the pantyhose? It's the Caterpillar Man from Freaks!

[badlittlegoodgirl]

The movie of getting winston into the pantyhose was by far the funniest thing I have seen in a while... I'm sitting in a public place by myself right now giggling like a crazy woman!

[Steven.]

Is it me, or does the pussy-in-pantyhose resemble a tofu dog?

[sara]

funniest fucking thing ever. you had me laughing during my bio lecture class!

happy halloween

[Laura]

I'm still laughing! Honestly! What you can do to Winston... pure gold... pure freaking gold. I had to watch the video a few times. It took me awhile to gather my composure to make this comment!

My cats never put up with my costume crap. I still have a scar from stuffing Princess into a baby sleeper when I was 10 years old. I wish I hadn't lost so much blood to take a picture of her.

Happy Halloween!