Mary, me

I was on the subway platform, in clear view of dozens of strangers one morning when Mary J. Blige rocked my world harder than she had in over 10 years. She poured her heart into the most techno-minded ballad of her career (courtesy of the generally straight-laced Bryan-Michael Cox) and it spilled right into my own: "Stay down, we too can pass the test / Stay down, yeah we gotta lotta work / Stay down, I know it ain't been the best / But it certainly ain't been the worst / Stay down, the drama will not last forever / Stay down, we'll beat it long as we're together / One day we'll look back on this / We'll be like 'Remember this?' / And it's gonna make us smile / 'Cause in the end we stay down."

Ugh, just typing that makes me as misty as I was that morning a few weeks ago when I listened to Mary's latest album, Growing Pains, for the first time. I admire the song objectively: Mary's craftsmanship has never been finer. Remove my heart and my brain's still in awe of her ability to craft an anthem out of such humble sentiment. Admitting imperfection? Understanding that ideals amount to nothing without awareness of reality's tendency to differ drastically from them? This is diva-spun R&B we're talking about? Really? But, of course, the fact that I do have a heart and that it has beat exactly at this tempo, in exactly as bittersweet a fashion is what truly compels me. For me, the people's Mary utterly serves her function here.

Reviews have made much of Growing Pains's self-help vibe, but anyone who's cared about Mary before knows that this is nothing new. If you aren't relating to her in some way, she isn't being effective. That's practically by design. What has drawn people to Mary from the start is her imperfect, croaky voice. It has relatability built in -- it won't make you feel like less of a person for singing along. Perhaps Mary's more upfront about her role as an informal therapist -- she told Entertainment Weekly that her goal with this album is to uplift women, and on "Work in Progress (Growing Pains)," she's even more explicit: "I am just like you!" Indeed, Mary has been a trusted commiserator to many an R&B fan so that her chief function in her post-No More Drama career has been to report on the level of turmoil that's in her life at any given moment. Case and point is Pains' adorable first single, "Just Fine," in which Mary shouts from whatever rooftop that will have her that, "See, I wouldn't change my life, my life's just fine!"

And maybe it is for that second, but "Fine" is just musical amber. She's OK, but everything's not OK and Pains' strongest tracks visit the theme of the above-quoted "Stay Down" - love's a bitch. "An excuse for dying / reason to live / And if you don't know / That's what love is." In other words, it ain't all roses -- literally. I'm a big believer in R&B's ideal of selling the cliché, of an R&B track's effectiveness lying in its ability to breathe life into the trite. "Roses," one of many tracks co-written by pretty much my new favorite person in the world, The-Dream, not only pushes that cliché, but turns it on its ear: "It ain't all roses...said it ain't all candy," turns the bitchfest into a veritable attack on Valentine's Day and the unrealistic nothingness of the love symbols we perpetuate.

It helps that the track that C. "Tricky" Stewart lays down is so volatile. The track is home to percussion that sounds like a gun being cocked, and the synth line has the floating effect of Art of Noise' "Moments in Love." Like Mary herself, it's brooding and beautiful, at once. And that's the way it should be -- as one of the most popular soul singers of her generation, Mary occupies the sort of status as any number of megastar divas that came before her (Aretha, Patti, Diana, Whitney, Mariah). But as the premiere diva of hip-hop soul, it has always been about reaching the people, about staying away from the stratosphere. Where those who came before her could show up with clouds in their head and turn a mediocre track into something captivating merely by opening their larynges, Mary wasn't blessed with such technical prowess. This means to succeed (and certainly, Mary hasn't always done so), she has to choose her material wisely. Divas are inherently bigger than their music, but Mary's never overshadowed her songs to a great degree. Sure, she's the star, but her backing tracks are often just as seminal as she is -- they could be billed right alongside of her above the title. That's key to her longevity and it's why Growing Pains is so great. From the sparse clatter of "Grown Woman" (with a buzzing bass line and not much more to provide melodic support, it's the funkiest thing Mary's ever touched) to the "Heartbeat" revamp of "To the Morning" to even the psuedo-jazz of "Smoke," Pains' tracks are on point, so much so that they feel indelible.

But is that feeling fleeting? The fact of the matter is that the content of this album grabs me and forces me to relate. For others to whom Mary's subject matter is less relevant, Growing Pains is probably just another 16-track Mary album that turns into a midtempo mush as it unspools. (Incidentally, Mary's seeming inability to self-edit is probably the quality of hers to which I relate the most.) I'm no stranger to this feeling: I barely remember anything about 2005's The Breakthrough beyond its singles (and besides which, "Enough Cryin'" is sort of forgettable in its own right) and that horrid, emotionally pornographic remake of U2's "One." Maybe Mary's role as a girlfriend to the nation means that her albums are essentially dialogue. This is the sort of friendship that's only as strong as its last conversation. But for now and for me Growing Pains proves Mary to be one hell of a talker.

Comments

[brainchild]

Umm... all I have to say is that the iTunes version of the album has a cover of Nazz/Todd Rundgren's "Hello It's Me" on it. I was pretty bored by the album though, but I've always been very hard on Mary.

[john]

Agreed. And "Roses" is my new anthem. Great track. "YOU SUCK IT UP!"

[Alyssa]

I was about to send you an email requesting a Growing Pains review, and I'm thrilled that it speaks to you in the same way it does me. I don't know if it's that I'm at a similar stage in my life, being 5 years into my marriage, but so many songs on this album are speaking directly to me. As a long-time fan I am so proud of Mary and this album.

MJB is my religion.

[ATSWU!]

Oh, MJB. Love her, love her, love her. Sometimes when she sings, it sounds like pain. As in, constipated and can't move your bowels unless you SING THE SHIT OUT WITH FORCE type of pain. But i love her just the same.

I remember when i was eleven years old, singing loudly along to my cassette single of "Reminisce" in my bedroom after i got home from school. I say singing, but i was really 'whining' to the beat.

I remember trying to stop myself from singing along with hood ass Lil Kim on "I Can Love You"...."Who you lovin'/who you wanna be huggin'/dippin on yo Ninja Honda with Tanisha and Rhonda, whaaaa!" every time that video came on MTV. I never succeeded. I still sing it to this day. Even though i have no fucking clue what a Ninja Honda is.

I remember when i was in my teens, in a horribly fucked up living situation, blasting "Beautiful Ones" and "All That I Can Say" in my Sony CD walkman and zoning out in the middle of the madness around me.

I remember wanting to smack the shit out of Mary for getting breast implants and shaking them wildly back and forth in the last seconds of her 'Family Affair' video... and using the 'word' "Hateration" so freely that year just killed little pieces of my soul, it really did.

I saw Mary in concert twice in 2006. The first time was in Glendale, CA for an MTV special taping; it was pouring raining and the taping ran hours over. Mary walked out onto the set in a pair of teal green and leopard print thigh high fur trimmed boots and an orange fringed poncho....and red lensed sunglasses....and a white hat...and proceeded to apologize profusely and then send her husband out into the rain to buy the entire audience like 200 strong, freakin' McDonalds Extra Value Meals out of gratitude for our patience.

I love her. Love her love her love her, and i wouldn't eat at McD's if you paid me. She's just the shit. She's authentic, even with chinchilla on her back, weave in her head and saltwater tittays....she's the real deal.

[Brandon]

Great review, I think I'll go check that album out. I initially got excited over the album from "Just Fine" because I missed Mary having a good dance track. Can't wait to hear the rest.

[jules]

I have actually been waiting to see if you were going to review this album or not. I love Mary, but haven't purchased anything of hers since What's the 411? for no other reason than they play her on the radio a lot. After reading what you just wrote, I'm going to iTunes to buy this album. Thanks Rich...
Jules
House of Jules

[TexasFanGirl]

I just wanted to tell you that I have a big, huge, straightgirl crush on you and Winston!

[Daryl]

I was always one one those people who had a love/hate relationship with Mary. Yet and still I'd be bopping or singing along to most of her tunes. From Reminisce to Take Me as I Am. I'm a black male and although she makes songs for women alot, many of her lyrics can resonate strongly with anyone. I think I am one of the few fans who loves the "new" Mary more than the depressed, drug addicted one of old.

I love when an artists knows themself and knows what their fans love and want. I love the tracks that I have heard on this album of hers (especially To The Morning). Just Fine is my wake up anthem..."So I like what I see, when I'm looking at me, when I'm walking past the mirror". Talk about self love. I could have used some of that many many years ago.

Thanks for the review Rich. I consider you an authority on music so I always feel enligthened when we're on the same page regarding an artist (and for the record I was a HUGE freestyle fan too).

i like 'hurt again'

[Aimee]

This CD is solid. I have faithfully bought all of Mary's CDs since her debut, but not since 1999's "Mary" have I loved the entire album. This whole album sounds good at first listen, and I know from the first listen that I will listen again. And I think it will grow on me even more, as so many of her tracks do. None are record-busting singles to me, but they are heart-wrenching - just like I like my Mary to be.

This is the first album that I didn't buy immediately upon release. But, having listened to a free preview on http://www.imeem.com/dialogs/standaloneplaylist/?autoStart=true&resize=true&p=cafiWUcG
I will definitely buy this album.

[Ms. T.]

I love Mary's style and attitude...but she can't sing...i don't know...i just find it hard to listen to her voice for more than 5 minutes...i guess that's why i've never bought any of her albums...but she puts out great singles though...and she seems like a really positive person which is a good thing.

[jtalia]

my favorite song from mjb will forever be the little known "never been"

[sean]

MJB keeps it real in knockoff world.

[aet]

love MJB... she makes me want to cry with her. I agree with Aimee -- "Mary" was such a solid, listenable album. Can't wait to get the new one.

[john]

the title of the post sounds like a marriage proposal. ;-)

[Dee]

@ATSWU: Don't feel bad about not knowing what a Ninja Honda is....no one does 'cause there is no such thing... Ninjas are made by Kawasaki, not HOnda.

I love 'Just Fine'...haven't heard any other songs, though.

[keley]

M J is a unique woman.she's gorgeous. but even clebs are lonely sometimes, someone saw her profile with hot photos on "WealthyKiss.com" a joke made by someone? but who cares. It's said Charlie Sheen has found his perfect match there.

[Pop Muse]

"I'm a big believer in R&B's ideal of selling the cliché, of an R&B track's effectiveness lying in its ability to breathe life into the trite." Wow FOURFOUR, seriously, u rock me hard sometimes.
I dont mind the 'Oprahfication Of Mary', as long as she is churning out great tracks like the ones on GPains.
But I worry you hate the anthematic "Come To Me" the way you hated "One". BC I had a DEEEEP moment the first time I played the new CD and it ended with "Come To Me", I kinda couldn't breathe for the last 2 minutes of it I was so moved.

[Elle]

Love this album! Great review...

[Xevwbckr]

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