Céline Dion is amazing

What did I do over my Christmas vacation? Lots of stuff and nothing at all, but most importantly: I studied Céline Dion intently. I'm about 2/3 of the way through Carl Wilson's endlessly insightful entry in the 33 1/3 book series, Let's Talk About Love: A Journey to the End of Taste. I haven't wished that I'd written a book so intensely since I read Larry Kramer's Faggots a few years ago (not that I have the experience, intelligence or skill to have written either, mind you). If the idea of examining the nature of taste vis a vis Céline and her album-with-that-Titanic-song-on-it sounds even remotely interesting to you, read this book and prepare to have your expectations blown and mind expanded.

One of Wilson's early points involves his prejudicial (i.e. pre-book) distaste for Céline, who's basically as objectively uncool as any pop culture figure of our time: "From the start, her music struck me as bland monotony raised to a pitch of obnoxious bombast--R&B with the sex and slyness surgically removed, French chanson severed from its wit and soul--and her repertoire as Oprah Winfrey-approved chicken soup for the consumerist soul, a neverending crescendo of personal affirmation deaf to social conflict and context. In celebrity terms, she was another dull Canadian goody-goody." This, I think, sums up her reputation well for those of us outside her circle of devotees, but on further examination, I'd say that her music's blandness is key to her appeal.

See, it's very easy for someone known as the Queen of Bland to knock you on your ass with her singular bizarreness. Last month, Céline released a 2-DVD set devoted to her just-wrapped stint in Las Vegas, the soul-robbingly successful, Cirque du Soleil-inspired A New Day... schmaltzfest. In addition to the show itself, there are feature-length (seriously!) documentaries on the making of the production, her fans and a real-time look at what goes on backstage as A New Day... unfurls. All are never less than fascinating, mostly because Céline Dion is a fucking spaz. There's almost a druggy effect due to her aforementioned goody-goody rep: watching this stuff, I felt high because I could not believe that boring old Céline was capable of being such a ball of weirdness. Her M.O.R. reputation is hilarious because she is, in fact, all over the road.

Anyway, you probably know how I do: below is an organized clips reel of my favorite moments of the two-DVD set. I'll never love Céline Dion's music (except "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" and "Think Twice"). I'll never be anything but reluctantly appreciative of her voice. But her persona speaks to me on such a basic level that it might as well come with nutritional information. This right here is chicken soup for my soul.

Comments

rich. dude u need a break.

[grownnsxc]

Bonne annee Rich! I have always said that Celene is a black woman trapped inside an anorexic white woman’s body. Look at the way she beats herself every time she hits a high note or talks extremely loud for no apparent reason. Either way, I friggin love her cause she is the hoodest Canadian I know!

[miss nee]

i will never understand why some people vilify celine like she's babs or something. i'm not a big fan of her music, but after watching various clips of her and this youtube gem, celine is as crazy as crazy gets and i love her to bits for it. oh, my nappy headed, celine

well done, rich!

[amy]

Brilliantly hilarious as usual! Thanks for making me laugh so much this year! Happy New Year!!

[killervirgo]

I thought Kathy Griffin was making it up when Celine dedicated a song to the all the parents and to all the children. This is why I love Celine. Also, Imus must be pissed that Celine can say nappy-head an he can't.

[fast_hugs]

I'm crying. CRYING.

[birdgal]

THAT was FUCKING AMAZING. Rich=Amazing. Celine=Awesome. YOU WIN.

[Krystle C.]

I have nothing to say about Celine Dion but I am impressed with your Killer of Sheep reference! Kudos.

[h]

I love it!!! So funny..."THE CLAW."

[cmtg]

Excellent as always, Rich. Have you ever seen this -- http://www.jibjab.com/view/141287

Totally worth watching; even if you don't like WA's comedy, then just for her snorts.

[BlackRaspberry]

Who, indeed, let Celine out and when are they coming back to pick her up?

The video was hillarious. Happy New Year.

[Allison]

That was hilarious, however slightly disturbing for a very personal reason. I'm wearing the same sweater as the "who let Celine out" dancer right now. Good to know he shops in the junior's section of T.J. Max, just like me.

[krup]

where can i get me a bottle of that Celine Solution?!?!

you've topped yourself my friend. kudos for making it through not one but two DVDs...

[Chuck M.]

Saline Dion.

On a side note, could you help get the ball rolling on; "FAT CAMP - The Musical - On Ice"?

[Bobby]

Love this. i'm so getting this book!
seriously though, celine speaks to me on about the same level that mariah does. both are out of their mind, though very talented.
there was a clip i saw of celine recording her new album and in between takes, she would just start belting some part of an aria she was more than likely making up on the spot. and though that would probably be annoying for anyone who had to live with her, i could not help but rewatch and study the clip over and over.

[yggy]

I don't care for her music and she's a big ball of whackiness but she was really sweet to the three fans, so....I respect her for that and her obvious talent as a performer. She is, if nothing else, entertaining. *grin*

wow... that makes me want to actually go see her in Las Vegas (although I know she's not there anymore). Rich, I'm so happy you're back from vacay!!

[Anni]

Oh YESSSS!!! I love Celine.. not even that ironically. I used to listen to the dual gems of "I'm Alive" and "That's the Way It Is" to pump myself up before a depressing day at work. Its total schmaltz but always pepped me up and made me smile. Yay Celine! And thanks for the video, Rich, it's hilarious.

[fan]

HAHAHAAHA. who let celine out?

[Kristen Shaw]

Love yer new pic under Hero

[Lauren]

She's like the crazy aunt I've always wanted!

[RD]

(big, obnoxious Giada De Laurentiis-type grin)

[Christina]

Ah, Larry Kramer's Faggots. That book opened my eyes to many things I never knew existed. My mom bought it at a gay bookstore on Polk Street in SF(shocking). I swiped it from her and I just couldn't put it down. Good stuff indeed. Celine's weirdness is awesome and so are you, Rich.

[Courtney]

This was truly awesome. I am crying!

[James]

I love you and I love Carl Wilson.