Drug formula

Whatever drugs Mariah Carey’s taking are doing wonders for her music. Actually, what am I saying, “whatever drugs”? It’s obvious that she’s on the pot, or that she wants you to think she is – an inhaled “sssssss” kicks off the best song, “I’m That Chick,” on her best album, E=MC². And then: “Ooh wee!" is repeated enough to make this slow-burning disco come off like the shadier cousin of Rick James’ “Mary Jane.” Weed imagery dominates her boasts (“Boy I got you caught up inside of my haze,” “You’re fiendin’ to blaze up and taste me,” “You ain’t seeing things or hallucinating,” “Pull me in and breathe,” “I’m like that uptown haze them real thugs blaze / We’ll touch the sky…”), as though delusion is her artistic medium

And, duh: of course she’s high. I can’t imagine anything but marijuana driving her to the destination of this album’s title, which, in long form stands for Emancipation = Mariah Carey (squared). That sort of nonsense-logic is the thing of tokers and children, and image-wise, Mariah is both. (And seriously, even when you spell it all out, what the fuck does “Emancipation = Mariah Carey (squared)” even mean? Is that, like, a two-second review of The Emancipation of Mimi? Is it her coy way of simultaneously announcing that this album is its sequel and that she doesn’t understand exponents? And if so, she so high that she thinks her “2” needs to be up there with her?) Whatever, though, tracks like “Chick” and “I’ll Be Lovin’ U Long Time” are sonic euphoria, career-highs that are so clean, you could snort off them.

And then, the paranoia sets in and it clings to this album like patchouli on Like a Prayer. I count no fewer than six rewrites of her relevance-reigniting megahit, “We Belong Together” (in sequential order: “I Stay in Love,” “Love Story,” “Last Kiss,” “Thanx 4 Nothin’,” “For the Record” and “Bye Bye”). These tracks, I assume, are intended to be hit insurance and as such, suggest that the memory of Glitter and the ensuing pop gutter hasn’t faded a bit. Between its pop hits, Emancipation flirted with a live, full-band feel; E=MC²'s motif, in total contrast, is the plastic boom-tick of the 808-ballad. Not that I'm complaining -- to rewrite "We Belong Together" is to rewrite "Breakdown," a track forward-thinking enough to still bear repeating.

The best of these fast slow jams is the Bryan Michael Cox co-produced “For the Record,” which skirts sounding like it’s stuck in the past via futuristic chimes, whooshes, thwacks and pseudo-strings. (Incidentally, Cox is also responsible for “I Stay in Love,” the most soulless song Mariah’s cut since, well, before Glitter. It sports a piano line so deliberate, it’d be laughed off a Broadway original cast album.) The commercial crassness of these retreads is perfectly encapsulated in “Bye Bye,” in which Stargate’s stock ballad beat fits under the “We Belong Together” template. Meanwhile, Mariah announces this song “is for everybody.” Not just all the parents and children of the world -- everybody! Take that, Celine! “Bye Bye” is about death, and only thing more universal than that topic is probably taxes (funnily enough, E=MC² was released on April 15). Initially, the obsequiousness of “Bye Bye” was too revolting even for me, but what keeps me coming back to it is its ultimate silliness. I snort at “This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers” every damn time I hear it, and the chorus litany of “Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins” sounds like the basis of a companion piece to the preschool standard, “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.” It’s supposed to make me cry, but “Bye Bye” makes me howl inside. It’s not so much like laughing in church as it is at the crazy lady ranting about abortion on the corner, shaking her plastic fetus.

From what I’ve gathered, those who hate this album, hate it for the lack of sophistication in its flagrant hit-mongering. But that’s like hating a Pollack for being too splattery. People forget that Mariah’s function has always been that of hitmaker. She’s worked hard for her numbers (18 No. 1's and she has the balloons to prove it). Until her 2001 breakdown, working hard meant averaging an album a year and rerecording virtually every single for various remixes. She's lessened the pace, but the wheels upstairs turn just as rapidly. E=MC² originally was supposed to come out six months ago. Leading up to November, every time she’d make a public appearance and answer the inevitable questions about the album, she’d talk about it as a work in progress, frequently saying that she was “just recording,” even into the new year. I love that Mariah has seemingly turned from compulsive releasing to obsessive crafting, as though she can only be pathological about pop music. (I can relate!) And you want to talk obsessive? Seven of these 14 tracks strike within 10 seconds of the three-minute-thirty-second mark, the supposedly magic running time for a pop single. She thumps the Bible on the arresting piano-gospel closer of “I Wish You Well,” but everywhere else she thumps The Manual.

“Cruise Control,” which cops reggae no more offensively than your average Gwen Stefani track, knits three hooks in a row. It sports a pre-chorus bridge, a chorus and then a mega-chorus. The songwriting craft is astounding. Equally astounding? The idea that it’s appropriate to adopt a Jamaican accent for the track’s second verse, which hilariously goes: “’Can’t nobody can’t nobody tell me nuttin' / When he comes into view / ‘Cause he’s the flyest ting when he be cruisin’ on me avenue / When tha door open, de gals pon de block / They be hopin’, to rob tha clock me say no man / Step up step up bottle broken think I’m jokin’…?” Ting! She says “ting!”

But then, she’s always been interested in passing, from her career-long transition from adult contemporary to hip-hop soul, to now, as she rocks a rasta hat with the fake dreadlocks and elsewhere adopts the ghetto-fab swag of “Migrate” (“’Soon as we walk through the door / Fellas be grabbin' at us like whoa / Tryin' to get us goin' off that Patrón / We sippin' Grigio...slow”). I see this as nothing but a further shading in of her frequently childlike identity: she’s playing dress-up. In a time when aging divas like Janet Jackson and Madonna are doing everything they can to fade into the (often vivid and nice-looking) wallpaper of their music, Mariah isn’t afraid to be her ridiculous self. It’s one thing to sing as well as she does (or rather, can, via editing of her increasingly brittle voice), or to have the knack for melody and harmony that's only getting stronger as she grows older. But Mariah’s secret formula is that larger-than-life persona that she filtrates so precisely into her work. It’s why she can pull off a (dirtily) Southern-fried power-ballad like “Side Effects.” It’s why this album is better than The Emancipation of Mimi (too tempered in the persona department for my taste). And it’s why E=MC²  is so damn addictive.

That's the point, but the underlying theme suggests an inverse of it: E=MC²'s engineered infectiousness is a symptom of Mariah's dependence on quantatitve superstardom (via chart success). This isn't an album; it's a collection of hits. As such, it's a perfect reflection of Mariah's pop-artistry and fame addiction. That drug thing? Nothing new at all.

Comments

[generalmills]

word

[chucky]

i havent purchased it, but i listened to a few of the tracks, and they all sound radio-ready. "bye bye" is seriously laugh (or cringe) inducing. you always get mariah right on. not sure this is the mariah album for me, though. i am sure this is going to sell well, if not extremely well.

[BlackRaspberry]

IMO, "Breakdown" is possibly the best track of Mariah's career, single or otherwise (I'm also partial to that "Fantasy" mix just before the final track on Daydream). Props to you for giving it props. :-)

That said, it was the very omnipresence of the "plastic boom-tick" --- and let me thank you for giving me a way to describe that --- that steered me away from this album upon sampling it. I remember thinking "Emancipation" was too safe and calculated sounding, and I feel this album is worse. The lyrics may not be as dull, but the music itself seriously sounds like one instrumental done 11 times with new lyrics placed overtop.

I'm glad she's pulled off the comeback, but the fear of failing again seems to be more than a bit stultifying.

[Steven.]

I just can't get past those (newer and smaller) tits of her.

But, you're spot on with everything else. From the fragile crackle of her voice to the endless repetitive series of 4-beat rhymes, it's all there.

I do miss her Tommy Mottola years, though. At least her songs (and voice) were more distinctive.

Haven't we all sung Vision of Love in front of our mirrors once in a our life?

[nettypooh]

I have been bouncing in anticipation of your analysis of this album since I "acquired" it. I listened to the entire album and I'm that chick has become my theme song for 2008. How can you hate the lines, "I do's it naturally, hypontize like Biggie, but you ain't havin' dreams" Or better yet, "Got flavor like ice cream"
I love it and want it on a tshirt! I think I am now an official Mariah stan *sigh*. Hello my name is Nettypooh, I'm blankty blank years old and I stan for Mariah!

[Bobby]

great review. i actually have loved this album since i got a copy a few weeks ago, and even "bye bye" has grown on me. i don't think it SHOULD be a single but apparently people are feeling it. i will never get "the masses," i guess.
Anyway i love "Side effects" and after listening to for probably the 100th time in a row i realized it would make a GREAT (dance) remix!
and i also noticed the 4 or 5 songs taken from the "we belong together/don't forget about us" template, but i really don't mind!
Actually "I stay in love" is my favorite of that group. Also loving "O.O.C" and "I'm that chick!" There are just so many potential singles here!!
PS - she looks thin again - loved her on Idol!!

[Francesco]

And technically, she only squared the 'Carey'. Otherwise, it'd have to be E=(MC)2. Because! She's that wonderfully dense.

[Justin]

Holy shit, "Side Effects" is my JAAAAAAAAAAAAM. "Forgive but don't forget/every day I deal with this" --- yes girl, YES!!!

I love the album.

[itslikehoney]

I love the album! Or should I say the compilation of radio-friendly hits? Obviously the record's tittle suggest she's being formulaic in a way. A lot of the songs grow on you if they don't necessarily attract you on the first listen. She pulled in some top hip hop and pop producers to make this record great and completely up to date with what's out there now. She puts her own spin on it and it works! She's a pioneer and essentialy will always be a hit maker, no matter how much she stresses that "she doesn't know the exact numbers she sold..." because we all know she's all over those numbers. I love her voice and her attitude of not giving a damn, she's not taking herself seriously, it's all fun ad games and #1 hits....

I LOVE I Wish You Well and I'm That Chick. I Wish You Well is remeniscent of Vanishing in the simplicity and the vocals, which she shines on. I'm That Chick is a feel good, catchy, roller skating, ice cream cone licking track. It's four four bliss.

[John]

I have such a love/hate relationship with Mariah, because no matter how pop she was, it never felt contrived. Even with calculated collaborations (Puff, ODB, Boyz II Men, etc), the music still felt genuine. And any diva that recognizes the power of the club and re-records vocals to kick out an effin' power jam like the remix of "Anytime You Need a Friend" deserves much love.

"Emancipation", while an obvious power move to really sink her teeth into the pop and R&B charts before the decade passed her by, still felt like a woman who knew where she was, and was just reflecting that. "E" feels like a woman who is looking back at the peak of her life, and trying to cling to it at any cost. While there's no way I can hate on jams like "I'm That Chick" and "I'll Be Lovin' U", most of this feels like retreads that have been road-tested five too many times.

[tiana]

Like others, I've been anxiously awaiting your review. You made my day.

[Bigpikchur.blogspot.com]

All I have to say is that I'm tired of seeing her skweedely-bopping-jazz scatting face everytime a show ends on MTV.
Jules
House of Jules

[BlackRaspberry]

idk, maybe Mariah's a lot smarter than she gets credit for; perhaps the title of the album is meant to signify how formulaic the majority of the tracks are.

[rhino]

hating a Pollack? i thought you were anti-hate, Rich. why would you bring up hatred of Polish people?

[Justin]

hey Rhino....I think he meant Pollock, not Pollack. Typo.

[ac]

I heard that she is seeking rich men on blackmatching.com in these days. Reported by the magazine , she uploaded some of her hot and half naked pictures over there.Just go and check it out.

[Sarah G]

Did anyone see her on American Idol?
"As a songwriter..." Did she attend the same school of songwriting as Beyonce?
Although hearing all the songs made me remember how much I love MC.

[Ash_teej]

I'm so embarrassed that I LOVE this cd - oh Mariah, I love that you just do what you do best!

And "Side Effects" - she needs to release that one ASAP - I'm predicting 19th #1 - such an awesome song!

[Keith]

I love Mariah's new record, I don't think BYE BYE is as bad a song as people are saying compared to what top 40 radio plays nowadays..then again there are so many better songs in this album specially I'LL BE LOVIN U LONG TIME.Good review!

[Bears are Fat]

Brilliant as usual. 'BYE BYE' is a single because it works perfectly with high school graduation and school year end sentiments (oddly, since it's about actual death)... but the whole 'it is hard to say bye bye' thing is a top seller for year end adolescents I predict, look for lots of seniors to dedicate this song to their BFFs...

The album is packed with hits. It's huge. I mean, I predict at least one more number 1 and probably two more even three... I don't know. She's unstoppable at making inane top 40 songs.

But the thing I am wondering is: What is UP with her hands (Oprah, AI) and the bandaid and weird rings? What is going on there?

[StarrFish]

Bought the album on Tues.... I like it, but I still think "Emancipation" was the far better album. As some have already said, this one is a little too formulaic and plastic sounding. Most of the tracks have that "haven't I already heard this?" feel to them.
It's a cute album though, and I will be bumping it in the car all summer long :)

[HoBuster]

Excellent review, but I think you missed (or just didn't mention because it's so obvious) an important point about 'Cruise Control.' The whole 'Jamaican' fantasia is a swipe at Rihanna. Do we really think (tink) MC would have thought to offer up this kind of minstrelsy if there weren't a Caribbean female popstar getting some of her fan dollars? Frankly I'm surprised Mimi hasn't recorded any salsa yet, just to cover all the bases.

[sean]

Pot's a drug?

[LoveMyselfFirst]

Rich, I have been waiting to see your review. I was a little disappointed with E=MC2, as it's not filled with heavy hitters and decent vocals like the last album.

But, "For the Record" has been on repeat 24-7 since Tuesday.

Mariah's lyrics are getting a tad bit too faddish and juvenile, but I appreciate her consistency.

[Noel]

I have been listening to the album pretty non stop. The more I hear it the more I love "For the Record." I was looking at the lyrics and realized something cool. She references 5 of her own songs within "For the Record." I blogged about it here ...
http://noeltorious.blogspot.com/2008/04/for-record.html#links

[Justin]

I just wanted to let you know that I think this review of her album is dead on and I tell people the same exact stuff when I'm describing it to non-'lambs', if you will. I have always been a huge Mariah fan, and Emancipation was extremely addictive in it's own right (minus fillers like Joyride and the vocally inspiring Stay the Night). E has become my second fav Mariah album of all time, next to Butterfly. Headin' to work, put on Cruise Control... On the way to the club, we're blazing up to That Chick and then on the way home, it's time to Migrate. The nice folks love this album, even if you dislike Mariah just because she's Mariah. Many people do but this album has regained her a lot of respect in the industry, and I'm sure she's dealing with the Side Effects of it. :) It's all about having fun and making great music for the nice lambs. Lots of singles of this one, lots of them. I hear they're planning to release at least 4. Touch My Body, in my opinion, should not have been on the album. It's a great pop song, and there's no way it would be a filler, as it's too commercial NOT to be released. I think Heat or 4real4real, the bonus tracks from the foreign copies are great songs and would have done better on the album, releasing either That Chick or Migrate as the premier single. Whatever, we still love it. :)

[Fendie]

Obviously a Mariah fan will always defends her by justifying. I love her as an artist, the vocal layering thing she does is amazing. But here are a few songs thatI dont feel guilty liking on this album.
1)O.O.C coz the fun there sounds genuine, like she's actually laughing with it. Is Mariah trying to create her own O.P.P? Ha ha. Go on then woman
2)I also like That Chick coz it reminds me of Mariah's Sent From Up Above..and the track is sassy + confident but girly. So Mariah. .

3)I Stay In Love is ridiculous, but its totally catchy and radio ready. I liked this much better than Bye Bye which is as Corny as Fantasia's Baby Mama. I dont hate it even if its a carbon copy of We Belong Together. E=MC2 indeed.

4)I'll Be Lovin U Long Time. Hate the title, but its totally Mariah bein cute and sexy, by using a catchphrase often associated with Thai prostitutes. But her asian fans might not find this funny. The song is not bad tho but hello, Kanye Good Life?

5)I WISH U WELL. I love it when she pushes herself above all the whispering and the Bone Thungs speed stop speed stop phrasing.

Bring back the singing Mimi.
I wish you well.

[dean]

What a total w**ker you are! complaining that an album has too many good songs on it!

what is she supposed to release an album like madonna does and put a couple of good singles on and the rest of the album is fillers?!

Mariah rocks, this is her best album yet, and sh*ts all over TEOM!

[Speedracer]

Since the beggining of Mariah's career, she has been the artist that some critics love to put down.Why? Very simple Mariah is a huge success no matter what she sings or writes. Of course with someone so famous like Mariah shes gonna have her share of "HATERS" and of course those who love her. Mariah is herself no matter what the rest of slow contemporary lovers love to listen to. I personally love E=MC2..and yes im a true fan..from vision of love to Migrate..

[TY]

this album is DOPE!
so freaking awesome!

[LeadMyWay]

My utmost respect for you and your prodigious review. You really amaze me. An impressive writing craftmanship... WOW, really, what an orgasm reading you man. Kudos to a professional, a writer and a n artist of the expression.

[Mariah Carey]

I don't know what the fuck are you trying to say about the album!!! Please make your points clearer! Nobody would want to read such a piece of crap! Some parts of your review were sounding as if you are very sophisticated but actually I don't think you are!

By the way, if you want to say Mariah sucks, just say it!

[Mikhail]

Well, Rich wrote a crafty & awesome review for an amazing album.
Just one major discord - "I Stay In Love" is my favorite track & I think it's got TRUE SOUL in it - so hmmmm

[marc cruz]

can i say that no matter how much i liked what teom did for mariah, many songs there were also reworkings of the songs in those albums, like copycat housing.

the difference between tracks like side effects and the fun pop fluff of ooc should have been noted in so far as the teom tracks do not display this difference.

i love the review though and thought you shouldve done it for slant, not sal.

[Fendie]

For me all her albums have some gems on them. Even Glitter's soundtrack had some good stuff (actually its pretty good). I didnt say that this album is not good. But the best? U must be kidding. Emancipation (E=MC1?) was definitely much better. Mariah's first and 2nd album was also (IMHO) much greater than this. But is this album awful? No. Its fun and current sounding. It will sell by the truckloads. Migrate is a big club hit waiting to happen. But she doesnt do much new things to make us more impressed. She's satisfied with just being cute. The whole album is totaly an exercise of making hits from simple things when you know as an artist she is talented and brilliant (Underneath The Stars, Mine Again, Whenever You Call,.etc etc). But this is too easy. She might as well cover Souljah Boy. Imagine MC doing the Superman in her Miss Sixty jeans and her lotion skin. Suupperrman....

[jer.]

wow. that was literally the best review of this album i've heard. you hit it right on the nose~ i fucking love this record.

[Gino]

Finally, your review! Was expecting you'd do the review for SLANT. I'm a Mariah fan, and objectively speaking, she is for me the best diva there is. (duh!)

But Eric Henderson's review is just so disappointing. He doesn't get it. Mariah isn't an artist. She doesn't have to be. She's already a diva!

PS. Luv ur BUTTERFLY review. Everytime I feel the need to justify my love for Mimi, I read it! (Hahaha) Do blog more aboutm E=MC2 pls!

[Barooney]

Now, I'm new to this blog, but I must say I'll be back for more good reading. I do love this album - probably more than you, Rich! I agree with most of what you said about every song, with the exception of 'I Stay In Love'. Yes, I can see how you'd group it in with the other 'We Belong Together' template-songs. However, like you said yourself, she has a "knack for melody and harmony that's only getting stronger as she gets older" and I must say that your statement is exemplified in 'I Stay'. How can I resist her gorgeous low register in the first couple of choruses, then the stunning beauty of her high belting voice harmonizing with herself in the final chorus? Makes me want to blaze up and taste something!
'I'm That Chick' and "I'll Be Loving U Long Time' are exactly as you said ("sonic euphoria..."). 'Side Effects'? Genius. 'Cruise Control'? You got that one right too. 'I Wish You Well' has too many layered vocals that are distracting, but it is another stunning display of beautiful melody and harmony. Not to mention a great message.
Finally, don't be too hard on 'Bye Bye'. She means well, and it's a pretty melody.

[LadyM]

Wow! Great review. Straight up though, I absolutely love this album!!!! From the beginning to the end! Why critisize Mariah Carey for writing songs that the masses enjoy? So what if it is formulamatic? Don't most POP stars come out with formulamatic albums. Most of Janet Jacakson's, Mary J Blige's, and all if Alicia Keys album sound the same, but Mariah seems to be the artist that generates the negativity. Damn, I guess that how it goes when your the biggest Diva of them all. Mimi, do your thang.

[Bourgeois Nerd]

I know nothing about music (certainly when compared to you, Rich, and many of the lovely people here); I'm just a white boy who sees "4/4 beat" and my head tilts like a cocker spaniel contemplating a dog barking on the TV. I also haven't heard more than whatever's on the radio of this new album. So all I want to say is, though I know we gays are supposed to love Mariah for her utterly ridiculous divadom (she is undoubtedly ridiculous and a diva), but I just can't warm to her. Maybe it's some PTSD from watching Glitter, but I think it's because I truly believe the woman is mentally ill. The infantilism, the skintight everything (seriously, Mariah, even straight boys must be tired of looking at it by now), the it just screams "I have ISSUES!" to me, and it makes me uncomfortable. Also, I love a diva bitch, but, to appropriate from ANTM, she doesn't seem like a fun diva bitch, but a bitchy diva bitch, and that turns me off.

I know none of you care, but I just needed to get that off my chest.

[sia]

I knew MC had to be into pot. So much of her music is perfect for getting high to--the hip hop remixes to Always Be My Baby, I Still Believe, My All, Heartbreaker, Underneath the Stars (faded indeed) and of course, the whole Butterfly album. Love her, and I think her new album is a perfect fit for what's on the radio today. I just happen to hate what's on the radio. Side Effects is alright though. Needs less Jeezy.

[Lianne]

Rich...

SAY WORD!!!!! You read my WHOLE mind with this review.

[fancastgirl]

I have a lot of respect for Mariah Carey and I think she's a very talented singer! If you are a huge fan too, watch the exclusive video premiere of Mariah Carey's new single, "Bye Bye." Exclusively on Comcast.net at midnight this Friday, 4/25/08!

http://www.comcast.net/music/mariahcarey/

[Chuy]

Breakdown is one of my all time faves. "Side Effects" is the gem on this album

[Rob Enderle]

I heard this airhead talk:
NO WAY did she know what E=MC² meant.

Not even if it was sprinkled with chocolate and cocaine.

[Rob Enderle]

> How can you hate the lines, "I do's > it naturally, hypontize like
> Biggie, but you ain't havin'
> dreams"

I know that 50% of the adult population of Detroit is illiterate (just google it) but how bad is it in the rest of the country?

[Rollin it up]

Yeah! I think she's smokin something. You got to be high to marry Nick Cannon. Wake up the next mornin talkin abot what u talkin about Mariah like Gary Coleman.