The most commercial song ever

Yes. Usher's "Love in This Club Pt. II" featuring Beyoncé and Lil Wayne is the most commercial song ever (and by "ever" I mean, as far back as my short-attention-span-culture addled brain can think). This dropped Wednesday (to my knowledge, out of nowhere -- I just started hearing it on every New York urban-format radio yesterday as I drove to and from dinner), five whole weeks after the so-commercial-it-came-with-your-Mac original (the lead single from Usher's upcoming Here I Stand) relinquished the top spot on the Billboard Hot 100. It's a bizarre move to pull out a remix this late in the game, when a second single would normally be impacting -- remixes generally form part of a strategy to beef up a song's longevity, to open a track up to another radio format, or to make that fender-bender of a hit into a smash. "Love in This Club" shows no signs of going anywhere for a while (on the latest chart, it's No. 4 with a bullet) because it's an across-the-board smash. Tacking on pop's surest bet besides, say, Usher himself (Beyoncé) and perhaps the next in line for that title (look who's at No. 1 this week -- it's Weezy, baby), would in virtually any other case play out like an act of desperation. Here, it's brand-strengthening, a Coca-Cola-like dedication to pouring resources into staying on top.

As if discontent to be merely a commercial sign of the times, the content of "Club Pt. II" reinforces the public's fascination with the lives of stars by being basically nonfiction. Remix self-awareness is nothing new (ask R. Kelly and Diddy -- you can make a hook out of merely stating what something is!), but Usher knows that the teaming of R&B's king and queen (his words!) is "special," since Bey "could be anywhere." For her part, Beyoncé brings unlikely perspective to this highly tacky set-up when she deems it "crazy." "I got a man, you got a lady," she explains, and the rest of this track plays out as dictated by their rough-sketch personas: lothario Usher issues come-ons and virgin-whore Beyoncé rebuffs. Beyoncé wins, but Usher's more convincing -- when you live publicly, you fuck publicly. Can't fault a guy for being literal, as this is pop music.

While I don't doubt that this thing is going to take over in a huge way (I'm not complaining, either), one could point out the slightest of risks resides in the track itself: the fast-slow jam template of the original is smoothed out to make a quiet-storm ballad a la Keith Sweat and Jacci McGhee's "Make It Last Forever." Quiet storm tracks aren't exactly the sure-bets that they once were, but leave it to the most visible culture critic of his generation (seriously, it's practically on a Madonna level), Lil Wayne, to remind us that they once were when he interpolates Janet Jackson's "Any Time, Any Place" at the end of his 16 bars. Note that when he does this, his voice has a woozy auto-tuning effect. The only thing that could make this track more commercial is the presence of T-Pain -- at least the dude's auxiliary larynx makes a cameo, you know? Elsewhere, Wayne is more incoherent than I've ever heard him, though I can't quite keep up with his cellar full of bootlegs so for all I know, he's done tracks in which he gargles Purple vomit. Here's my favorite couplet he spits -- this is amusing on practically an Ol' Dirty Bastard level. This track just keeps. On. Entertaining.

The ailing music industry is causing a rash of mighty strange public behavior, but "Love in This Club Pt. II" is the wackiest symptom so far. The bizarre melodic reference to former Destiny Child memeber LeToya Luckett's "Torn" (is an alternate title for this track "Beyoncé: The Revenge"?) notwithstanding, the basic philosophy behind "Club Pt. II" is that the only reasonable follow-up to a mega-hit is a bigger, tweaked version of that track. Our superstars are so powerful that they can rewrite the rules we hold dear thanks to common sense and advertising: now, you can get a second chance to make a first impression. 

Comments

[jules]

Keith Sweat's Make it Last Forever was in the running to be the theme song for our homecoming dance back when it was just hitting the charts. I was the only one in my group of friends who even knew Keith Sweat songs, and I remember distinctly having to sing it for everyone at the lunch table. Just imagine singing that song to people who have never heard it. The looks on their faces were classic, and hilarious.
Jules
House of Jules

[jtalia]

did you ever hear the beyonce version of "my boo"? i felt the exact same way, like "was that really necessary?"

[ekar]

Weezy saying "kissy kiss" sounds gross. Ewww!

[Shawn-Shawn]

The original version of this track never really worked for me. I felt like it was trying too hard---the beat was silly, the lyrics laughable, all in a desperate fight to appeal to the lowest common denominator of listeners.

Funny thing is, this version is clearly trying even harder (as you noted), but I can't stop myself from liking it. The premise is absurd, the guest appearances contrived, but, well, it's so smoothed out and summer delicious. And I mean, come on, how can I not love a song in which Beyonce actually says "I strongly doubt this velvet rope can hold me up"? It conjures an image of my mind of Usher trying to bang Beyonce out in the middle of a club while balancing her on a velvet rope, which would clearly be hilarious.

I'm a sucker for Quiet Storm tracks ("Make It Last," in its unabashed synthetic ballad glory, is a personal favorite). I feel like it's cut from a similar cloth as Usher & Ludacris' "Lovers and Friends." My guess is that Polow da Don did this remix, and it seems like it's in the same vein as Ciara's "Promise," albeit without the sex-flushed bump 'n grind sensibility of the latter that made it so addictive.

Good call with the reference to the melody line from "Torn"---I kept thinking of Patti LaBelle's "Love, Need, and Want You" as the point of derivation, but I knew it wasn't right.

Finally, @jtalia---though it sounded mysteriously like Beyonce on that version of "My Boo," apparently that was a demo version of the track, and it was a studio singer who happened to sound like Beyonce, not the real thing.

[Sarah G.]

For me, the best part of this song is that I first heard the beat here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyqUj3PGHv4
It comes on around the 1:27 mark.
I can see Usher being a fan!

[Jenn]

I don't get the love for this song. Don't get me wrong, Usher has put out some good stuff in the past (Pop Ya Collar, My Way, Anyone?) But this thing isn't even mediocre. The beat is lame and his voice is awful. Chili never would have let this happen.

[spazmo]

I snorted when I realized you'd dubbed the Lil Wayne sample "lilwtf"!

Thanks for the weekend ringtone.

[Mark]

I wonder if they will release a catalog or couture remix soon.

[Maleficent]

Ok, let me just say that the ORIGINAL version of Love In This Club is such a ...for lack of a better word, STUPID song, that i'm almost embarassed to admit that i find it catchy. As in, i don't turn it off and run screaming from the room in horror when i hear it. Even though he's doing that played-out T-Pain vocoder vocal thing, and even though we've apparently gotten so carefree that we've gone from 'let me buy you a drank (A!! A drank! Just ONE?!) and take you home and f*ck you' to 'the hell with me buying you a drank, lets just f*ck in this club.'

I can't get over it. Not even in the car? Not in the hotel lobby? In the dang CLUB?! Not like people don't DO that shyt-i mean, hello, i live in Los Angeles; I saw it in the Saddle Ranch years ago when the damn Saddle Ranch was the place to go--MANY years, but damn, people are SINGING about it now? Just screwing IN the damn club? I SO hope people don't follow Usher's lead and start, like, f*cking WHEN THE SONG COMES ON, oh, EW.

But this new one? Love In This Club part Deuce or whatever the hell it is?? OH, I LOOOOVE IT. I love it like Whitney told Wendy Williams that Bobby loved her breast implants. I just LOOOOVE it, because not only does it sound like a remake of that bomb ass Lil Jon/Ludacris song "Lovers & Friends" that Usher also sang on, but that crazy ass Beyonce is on it, and nobody tops her on formulaic pop/R&B. No. Body!

Two things, tho:

I can't hang when people singing on a remix reference the fact that they are singing on a remix IN THE REMIX. And then they tell you WHAT TO DO WITH THE REMIX. *blank stare* Is the radio buying public that damn stupid? LMAO!!

Basically, to sum this song up,

Usher to B:

"Beyonce, let me get in the pussy. C'mon, let me get in. I know you married to that rich but not-so-cute dude, and i got this mad-unattractive 'woman' over here, but they ain't here in this club. Let me get in it. I would like to F/UCK YOU IN THIS CLUB. Yes, in this CLUB. You know why? So you can tell all of your friends you was on this remix."

B to Usher:

"I don't think so. I mean, i want to, considering i got yo' dick hard right now--don't tell nobody i did that, aight?-- ...but i'm too big of a b/itch to have you trying to fuck me up against the velvet rope in the VIP. I weigh too much. The ropes gon' fall over. Besides, if you hit it right, i'ma be loud and the bouncer is gon' be bothering us. And besides, if i DO decide to f/uck you, you gone tell all of your friends you was on this remix."

AND THEN THEY TELL THE LISTENER, Now run and tell all of your friends "You gotta hear this remix!"

WHAT. THE. HELL.

*blank stare*

But i LOVE it to death, though. DAMN formulaic ass pop R&B!! Damn, damn, f*ckety damn!!!!

[Laura @ Hungry and Frozen]

I haven't liked anything of Usher's since I was at boarding school (and even then I was only pretending for the greater good) but I love reading your writing about it :) You should try jotting down some thoughts about paint drying or something, see what happens.

By the way thanks for reminding me about Keith Sweat (what a name!) - took me back to being ten years old and thinking "Twisted" was the coolest song on the Rick Dees Weekly Top Forty...

[Shai]

May the good Lord shine down a thousand blessings upon maleficent for that comment. lmfao

[bob loblaw]

Rich, you are hysterical... but, for whatever reason, I didn't understand a majority of what you were trying to say here. Sorry :(

[bob loblaw]

Rich, you are hysterical... but, for whatever reason, I didn't understand a majority of what you were trying to say here. Sorry :(

[Sadat X]

Lil wayne's couplet is over here KILLING me several days later. I've tried and tried, and i think that tiny, roachbag of a man is saying,

"Call Me
So I Can Make It Juicy For Ya
Meet Me In The Bathroom
And You Can Be My Secret Lover Thang
Heheheh."

Man, i just lost SO many brain cells trying to decipher that shit. I BLAME RICH!!! BOOOOOO, RICH!!

(((J/K, hugs to Rich)))

[Chandra]

I don't get it, how can someone be a performer when you can't understand a word they are saying? I even had some issues with Usher. I guess I'm just not cut out for this kind of music. I prefer a level of clarity.

[Cher]

Off topic for this post: I was sitting at T's last night (a bar in Chicago) watching ANTM and cackling at all the girls falling. A guy next to me asked if I watched the show, and I said no, but I read recaps online so I kind of know what's going on. And he was all, "oh, fourfour?". You are totes a household name.

[Noah]

Off topic for this post: I was sitting at T's last night (a bar in Chicago) watching ANTM and cackling at all the girls falling. A guy next to me asked if I watched the show, and I said no, but I read recaps online so I kind of know what's going on. And he was all, "oh, fourfour?". You are totes a household name.

[Grown]

I only liked the original version of ITC for two reasons: Palow the Don's beat and Young Jeezy's verse.

Take those out and you don't have much of a song to me.

And I usually hate when Beyonce is on a remix...didn't like her on Justin's song, don't like her here...her voice doesn’t particularly mesh well with EVERY song...

[www.knifelicker.com]

He sucks! So does Beyonce!

[cc]

why doesn't anyone else hear the similarity between usher's song and this classy performance from jan 2007 (starts 2:45)?? http://youtube.com/watch?v=FVuvAYzsLoM
plagerism?!?!

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