That Willa Ford-led Anna Nicole biopic that seemed like a moderately big deal a few months after her death (Variety article, you know?) leaked on the Internet last week to no absolutely no fanfare (it doesn't have so much as a Rotten Tomatoes page). Why am I surprised that nobody cares? A zero-budget anything that attempts to distill Anna Nicole Smith's nonsense is a breeding ground for campy crapiness.
The torrent I, uh, saw wasn't labeled DVDRip or DVDSCR, which leads me to believe that no official release by way of DVD is even in the pipeline. I'm guessing that this thing really was just dumped online for free because no one would take it. Fair enough! If Anna Nicole were to come back from the dead (which, actually, the film suggests! Oops, spoiler!), she couldn't produce the hilarious incoherence that goes down in Anna Nicole better herself. Imagine the people who brought you Goddess (Showgirls' fictional extravaganza) applying their talents to a Lifetime-movie version of Anna Nicole's life (while cluelessly retaining about three percent of the boobage), and you're more than halfway there. The thing has the look of a softcore porno, without any of the sex. It's softcore softcore and cheesy as a puff. Willa Ford plays Anna Nicole Smith with the gusto of a hyperactive kid at a light switch - she's on, she's off, she's on, she's off. Onoffonoffonoff. At this point, it's probably needless for me to say that I kind of love it.
Most of the good parts are in the video below. They are organized by theme. Please at least forward to the last two or so minutes, to watch Anna Nicole rise from the dead and get all kinds of meta. When the script has Anna Messiah impossibly revealing her reaction to the media frenzy over her death ("You'd think with everything else going on in the world, they'd have something better to do") all of your suspicions are realized: this is a fucking farce.