Reason No. 34 - Because Miley Cyrus repeatedly subverted Disney's squeaky cleanliness
At last, a tween queen worth paying attention to. I would not be surprised to find out that this is all an inside job. If not: more wild times ahead! It's in her DNA! Of-age boobage is inevitable! Exciting!
33. Because, speaking of inevitable, I have two words for you: Ga...Ga
It amazed me that so much was made of Christina Aguilera's swagger-jacking of Lady GaGa, when Gaga's entire existence could be summed up as reminiscent. I guess no one's heard of Gwen Stefani or Miss Kittin before (not to mention, Róisín Murphy, as frequently noted on ONTD). Don't bullshit a bullshitter, you know? Like a breathing mash-up of "Hollaback Girl" and "Frank Sinatra," this Harajukuclash psuedo-weirdo came at us all pouty, rappy, finger-waggy and with Warholian tendencies. And if that wasn't distasteful enough, she looked like she'd been hit by a fabulous garbage truck on its way out of Williamsburg. (All expensive, like!) Those whose better judgment didn't send them running, however, were treated to GaGa's true subversion: take away the trash and flash and you have a bitch who can write the fuck out of a melody. At least half of her album The Fame is indelibly catchy ("Poker Face" is my fav, and in second is "Boys, Boys, Boys" which is almost as good as Sabrina Salerno's Italo classic of the same name but completely different). It's fairly exciting that a straight-up dance act was able to score a Top 3 hit (instead of an established R&B artist dabbling in house territory). I won't be surprised if GaGa's fame turns out to be short-lived, but I also won't be surprised if it doesn't.
32. Because Madonna finally shut up and danced
Most disagree, but by cutting the shit (most importantly, the delusions of insight) and embracing her disposable side, Madonna made her best album in at least 14 years. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
31. Because I couldn't get, "You thought I couldn't freestyle on you, boo" out of my head for FUCKING WEEKS...and I liked that
Thanks, Soulja Girl. I needed that.
And while bipolar disorder is serious, sometimes devastating matter, the postscript to this viral video made for a fascinating Web 2.Whoooooa! story in its own right. I weep for Soulja Girl: her candle burned out long before her legend ever did...in a way, I guess.
30. Because of all the nice things The-Dream did for us...
I have a feeling that this guy has great, great things ahead of him. After all, he writes melodies that are sweeter than Ne-Yo on all fours, and you catch more flies with honey. His debut album, released at the end of last year but on my ears for most of this one, reminded me a lot of Prince's For You (not in sound, but in promise and gentle idiosyncrasy in its summation of R&B in 2007). I have a warm feeling inside that his forthcoming set will be his Prince.
29. Because New Order never sounded better
Expanded and remastered reissues of history's greatest dance band's first five albums had me enraptured for over two straight weeks this fall. It reminded me of the past I never had: When I was in high school, this slightly older, way cooler ravey chick told me one day that she had earlier listened to New Order on the way to work and found herself both exhilarated and choked up in traffic. I really wanted to empathize, but New Order hadn't touched me so deep at that point. Now, I know exactly how she felt.
One of my greatest discoveries of the year is that "Sub-culture" might be the best Eurodisco track of all time.
28. Because Flickr's Coyote2012 had this great way of making you feel dirty
Dispersed throughout his travels as chronicled on Flickr are stealth shots of dudes he thinks are hot.
Even when our tastes don't align, I'm still impressed with his sense of naughtiness.
27. Because T.I.'s set us up for a most pleasant 2009
The best moments of T.I.'s very good Paper Trail were about as exuberant as hip-hop got all year (seriously: the album's more fun than Tha Carter III...on weeeeed). And even after two amazing and ubiquitous singles in a row, he still has this year to release the glorious Ludacris collabo "On Top of the World." He's sitting on top of something that's just waiting to be global. I envy his view.
26. Because Ambiguous Denim made me feel comfortable again
In my experience it's become increasingly hard to find appropriate affordable jeans, as so many of them are either an intentional fade away from the abandoned roller rink or either like leggings or JNCOs (put one LOL in at a time). Ambiguous shit is consistently single-toned and baby-bear baggy. Just right!
25. Because Rich Cohen wrote a celebrity profile for the ages
Since you didn't ask, my favorite passage from this ingenious interpretation of Angelina Jolie's celebrity is:
"...She is a Method actor in reverse; whereas a Method actor brings the things of her life into her roles, Jolie brings her characters’ stories into her real life. Which is why, though Jolie is an outstanding actress, she’s a more outstanding celebrity. It’s not that she becomes the character—it’s that the character becomes her. Disturbed youth (Girl, Interrupted), wild child (Gia), humanitarian (Beyond Borders), married (sort of) to Brad Pitt (Mr. & Mrs. Smith)."
So simply reasoned, it's as though we knew it all along.
You'll never believe it, but Numbers 24-15 are coming up tomorrow!