This is the post where I comment on the ANTM winner, pre-recap. Spoiler is below. I know that's obvious, but for some people, you can never be obvious enough in regard to spoilers.
Just looking out for you since you're undoubtedly about to be very surprised.
Except not, because it was Teyona. I'd have a shot of her crying and looking like her entire body had fallen prey to the charms of a lemon, except the DVR that I have my DVD burner hooked up to decided not to tape the show. Not to worry -- I've got the rebroadcast set to go. Again: looking out for you.
But Teyona: meh. Not a surprise, although they did have me going for a minute, thinking Allison had a chance. No mean feat since I had a feeling Teyona was going to win this shit since Episode 2 or whatever.
But Teyona's victory isn't even the worst ANTM-related news of the day. You probably already know about this, but Paulina was fired, guys.
Thank god she's still awesome enough to say bitchy things about Tyra and explain what happened. This sucks because, as you may have noticed during last recap's Pretty Party, she was just hitting her stride. Unless they're bringing Janice back, this blows.
But even THAT isn't the worst news of the day. Again, you may already know this but fucking Tahlia is with fucking child.
Now she's not just the worst, she's the pregnant worst. I don't know if Judge Judy's rubbing off on me and making me feel OK about openly judging someone's life choices but WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT. She's, what? 12? She's not married. Her boyfriend, is in fact, works at a movie theater. I'm not saying that she's condemned to a terrible life (certainly, young single mothers don't need more shit slung at them) and I certainly HOPE the kid turns out OK, but god, to be basking in the cheap attention that comes from putting yourself in an insurmountably difficult situation is just so stupid. I don't care if doctors said she couldn't have kids. Now we know they were full of shit! (Score one for Tahlia's uterus!) Homegirl needs to 20 years or however long it takes her to stop being emotionally fetal. I know that this girl is just looking for love, but I think embarking on that search at one's vaginal opening is so so foolish. Maybe that's just me.
But hey, at least she gave me something to bitch about. I couldn't even get that worked up about the finale. In a funny way, Tahlia wins!
[Thanks to all who sent the Paulina and Tahlia news in! I want to have your scarred babies.]