We're aware that last week, a new R. Kelly leaked (!) a new track, "Number One," right? And we're aware that "number one" is kindergarten code for pee, right? And we're aware that R. Kelly's pee and its tendency to land on underage girls on film (allegedly!) is a close second to his music in defining his legacy, right?
Is he aware of all of this? Who knows anymore. Certainly, the phrase "number one" is used in the song to describe the superior nature of the sex he's having and there are no other traces of urine. But I suspect that these words that flirt with referencing his questionable character have been chosen for a reason. Talk about legacy, he's been doing that since he sang, "So show me some ID before I get knee deep into ya," in 1994's "Bump n' Grind" remix. He'd go on to marry a 14-year-old Aaliyah later that year.
His questionable motives and intent are what keeps him fascinating, even when his material is sub-par. It's why I never get bored of writing about him. But beyond the potential salaciousness, "Number One," is a great song, an energetic baby-maker with Keri Hilson that flips into a double-time house track a few bars before each chorus to show you just how fast of a slow jam it is. Unlike the albums he did with Jay-Z, this is the best of both worlds that Robert the alien inhabits: the out-of-this-world comedy and the down-to-earth crooning. I hope it rockets to the top of the charts ("Number One" for No. 1!). To put it simply with another excretory metaphor: this shit is gold.