You know who's weird?
Tameka "Tiny" Cottle, "star" of the "reality" show Tiny & Toya. That show is both the worst and best thing on my TV right now. It's the worst because it's a pointless vanity project devoid of any suspense (scenes don't so much end as trail off ("Thank you, mama..." "He loves to sing, baby..."). Also, Tiny's co-"star" Antonia "Toya" Carter sucks as a reality show subject. She seems nice enough and she's attractive, but her claim to fame heretofore is her role as Lil' Wayne's baby mama. Here claim to fame from now on will be complaining about being solely known for being Wayne's baby mama. Seriously, bitch bitch bitch. Note to Toya: If you want to be known for more than your association with Wayne: REFRAIN SAYING "WANYE" IN EVERY SENTENCE. (I did like that she referred to him as "the person who broke my virginity" on last night's episode -- I guess we now know that she wasn't wearing tampons leading up to that!)
Also, if you want to be known period, refrain from sharing a show with Tiny, because she's bound to outshine you.
How could she not?
This won't be long, because like I said, Tiny & Toya is a bad show. Nothing happens except a lot of walking around and fretting. The biggest revelation is that T.I. is an asshole -- he won't let Tiny go out (!) or make music (!!!). Restraining someone who was in Xscape seems like a crime against humanity to me! Besides Tiny, T.I. has the biggest presence on the show despite not actually appearing on it (we don't even hear his voice on the other line when he and Tiny talk).
That said, I'm so glad Tiny & Toya exists just as a showcase for Tiny's weirdness. The show is boring, but she is mesmerizing.
Look at the mall-quality modeling she does in the show's intro:
She sounds about 5,000 times more Southern than anyone in her immediate vicinity. Also, she sounds like she's decomposing. That's when she isn't entirely incoherent. I've said this before, and watching her in action is only reinforcing it: she looks like something that would be growing off Mariah Carey.
Perhaps a parasitic twin, perhaps an elaborate mole.
But that's not hate: I love that she's weird-looking and -sounding and I love that despite that (or maybe because?) she bagged probably the best-looking rapper making music today. Even if he's a prick.
She's also weird-acting, if you couldn't tell. There was a discussion about her dormant music career in the first episode between her and her mom that mainly consisted of her making exasperated expressions with her eyes:
Just call her Major Flippant.
So yeah, this is just to say I'm transfixed. A lot of people have reality shows, many more think they should have one but few deserve one more than Tiny. Whenever she's on, my eyebrows are perpetually raised.
I guess what I'm saying is: I relate to her.