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Alice

Yay! My Mondays are made so much more worthwhile by this. Thank you ^__^

i dream of gene shalit

Amazing as usual, Rich!

Also, are Tatianna's front teenth blurred out in the Pretty Party pic? Mayhaps they did a Joanie-style makeover but are going to air it in a later episode?

ZZ

Sigh. Jessica's gonna win. Better ask somebody.

monica

first?

MB

I think Ren was eliminated because Tyra was nervous about whether or not she would have to pay royalties to Raymond Pettibon for that tattoo she has.

The burning question I also had was who is Ren's mom? Someone connected/pushy enough to get her daughter "hand-picked" for the show? Because huh?

Lars

The one thing I found interesting about Ren was that I didn't realize they had that particular brand of soft-talking, faux-artsy, annoying asshole in Texas. Who knew? Godspeed on her return to the Lone Star State, where perhaps she will be wrongfully arrested for a crime she didn't commit and be executed while the governor laughs.

I'm glad that we get to keep hearing snippets of the fantastic Laura's wisdom.

Peter

Um, don't you mean Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube men... or in this case Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube REN?

Iamveryshort

Yes! You totally just saved my workday! These are wonderful, I now have my sister obsessively checking your recaps as well :]

missy

Where is Nigel's wedding ring???
Something better happen quick on this show because it is boring the life out of me. Yawn.

The Dyv

Rich you are the man..LOL Especially for the Get in Shape girl reference!! I was pressed to get one and used it once..Lol
This is the first season that I have watched actual episodes of ANTM (b/c of ALT) and I always keep your posts in mind as I watch. I cracked up at Nigel being adamant about knowing hip-hop and ALT's "Dreck of the week itude." Two parts that were rewinded several times...

DLCF

Couldn't someone have taught Krista how to push her arch and turn out from the hips just a bit before putting her in Pointe shoes?

I keep staring at her feet and legs in that picture and it's making me stabby. I've seen better ankles on some of our third-graders.

And why does Typhoon keep doing dancer photoshoots if she hates dancers so much? I demand a God of War photoshoot! Broken-down models posing with angry, square-jawed Spartan warriors in very small clothes. YEAAAAHHH.

Dara

Amen, brother Rich. Amen!

gem

the 4/4 "haaaay" comment made my day.

these are my top 3 after that:

"Seriously, she looks like a visitor from Planet Vulva"

"it looks like her tongue is the same color as her skin and that her teeth, then are external"

"My heart isn't just pounding, it's woofing like an Aresenio audience member."


[also, i just finished 'a.l.t.: a memoir" by andre leon talley & i highly recommend it.]

Vanessa M

You know, despite her underwhelming photos and whining, I kind of liked Ren. Right up until she followed her repeated decrying of drama by engendering truly pointless drama.

And why do all of these bitches think Miranda is ugly? I thought she was kind of an unsympathetic bitch sometimes (her treatment of Steve made my stomach hurt) but she was quite pretty. Man I miss SATC.

Tyra has worn some wackass outfits and weaves to panel (that one cycle with the magenta hair?) but this was....just, no words. It's like Babylon 5 had a yard sale. Are leotards really back in style? I did let my Vogue subscription lapse.

In similar fashion observations, I can't say that I understood why Alaysia's picture was deemed more than mediocre but if it gives you an opportunity to name check Luther Campbell (Face Down, Ass Up young Jedi), then stay till the top 3 she can.

Stephanie

ZZ: I don't see Jessica winning at all! I don't see her lasting too long.

kat

I have to say, I think I'm a fairly avid consumer of pop culture, but your write-ups are the thing I look forward to the most. I COULD NOT wait to see what you had to say about everything that went on in this ep! I find the drama really amusing this year.

I love/hate to see Ren go. I think it would have been great to keep her on a few more shows to see if the other girls could really wear her down. But I know that would be contrary to the idea that you need to WANT to be there...

Anyway, thank you for doing this.

m

I'm so glad you addressed Anslee's bitchface.

AntBee

Glad Ren is gone; ol' whiny heffa. Alasia can go anytime, too. She is not pretty, at all.
They need to go on and give it to Simone or Raina, and hang it up.
ALT, I have always hated him, and still do. He cannot leave my TV fast enough.

karis

you are a GENIUS. finally somebody who agrees with me, that dumb fake hypocrite Ren finally shown the real Ren with that nasty thing she did with brenda. she doesn't like drama, she is risking her happiness and mental health for this?? hahahahhaha i never heard anything funnier :D she hates drama so much that she also creates it. great ren! you have big big problems.

Johanna

i couldn't wait to see your comment on Tyra's outfit, plant vulva is very fitting ! lol I think reading this may be more fun than watching the show, thanks again for great recap!

Scott Fee

"Planet Vulva" k-i-l-l-e-d me!

Liane

I found it quite hilarious that Tyra et al. ripped Alasia a new one over her shiny silver ensemble while Tyra is wearing a beige gymnastics outfit from the reject pile of the Buck Rogers wardrobe department.

Erika

Brenda does resemble Miranda, with a little bit of Nicole Kidman peppered in.

I laughed out loud at "planet vulva", good call indeed. Why does Tyra think that everything she wears is flattering? Oh, right, because she's "God".

Chantal

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO ALL DAY
"...give her a big, fat, clothespin-plumped pussy..."
I KNEW IT I KNEW U WOULD WRITE ABOUT THAT NOW THAT I WATCH ANTM IM LOOKING OUT FOR THINGS THAT MIGHT END UP HERE LIKE BLOWJOB FACE LOL

"African? African?!?! Hello! He has a name! This show is so racist."
LMFAO SO FUNNY

ALT HAS SOME GOOD INSIGHT BUT HE SO DISGUSTINGLY UGLY HE LOOKS LIKE A HIPPO TEETH AND ALL

Angela

Amazing as always!!
I was so pissed at Ren's face when she was telling Brenda the gossip about her - the bitch hates being a part of the drama, but loves creating it!

Just a random tidbit... anyone else notice that Raven from RuPaul's Drag Race appeared in Jaslene's cycle of ANTM? (When they did the photoshoot where the girls dressed like boys and posed w/ drag queens) Raven was the "Executive" queen. Lol just thought that was interesting!

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