No matter where I end up on Super Bowl Sunday, I'm sure it'll look a lot like the clips above from Joe D'Amato's slasher Absurd (aka Horrible aka Rosso Sangue). In fact, even if I'm in my own living room, not watching the Super Bowl (which I most certainly will be), I'm sure I'll be gushing about the plate of spaghetti I'm eating and grunting and throwing temper tantrums that abate as soon as someone tells me to shut the fuck up. THIS IS HOW PEOPLE LIVE.
Absurd (one of the U.K.'s 39 video nasties) lives up to its name by coincidence -- the plot is a whatever rehash of Halloween, but the script and acting are just ridiculous, and spiced with a liberal amount of out-of-sync dubbing (the cornerstone of great badness). That said, the kid in the video above, Kasimir Berger, delivers my favorite child performance in the history of cinema. Arbitrary and difficult to watch, he has the brat thing down so well. What he lacks in technique, he makes up for in essence. I made a gif of his best scene. It's below. It's kind of large, but so so worth it: