I wrote about Jessie J's earful of a first album, Who You Are, for the Voice this week, and in it, I talked about the arsenal of annoying sounds this woman makes (and words she says). It is a vast arsenal, let me tell you! In a way, this vocalizing represents Jessie's hustle: certainly, it's what makes her her. In another way, it's what makes the album a chore. Trade-off!
As repelled as I am by annoyance (being, you know, human), I'm also fascinated by it (give me a few years and I'll remember everything fucked up about Who You Are fondly). And so, I've collected the 30 most annoying sounds made by Jessie on her debut, and ranked them from least to most annoying (i.e. from "Ugh, get it out of my ears!" to "I no longer have ears because my brain just exploded out of mercy"). It was a highly scientific process. Just kidding! It was totally subjective. It's like that old saying: one coconut man's melisma is another's chew-toy squeak is another's "beating-buh-buh-buh-buh-beating-beatin'." See what gets to you the most!
(Note, this embedding style was the best I could find. I know it's still sucky, but believe me I've spent far too much time on the mechanics of this shit already. I honestly considered learning Flash for this. Anyway, you may need to play a clip to let it load and then play it again to hear it play smoothly. That's the kind of two-pronged endurance test that I love!)