fourfour

America's Next Top Model isn't...

...Angelea.

Sex and the shitty

"It just hurts 'cause I wanna be respected as a good model," said Laura about her elimination. From this show. America's Next Top Model. The one that has for years struggled for credibility as a circus, let alone a talent search. Is that to say Laura's been hurting this whole time, or does she just yearn for the respect from those whose respect is largely considered to be a hindrance? She's better off getting Wanda Sue to sew her together some respect than looking for it here.

Dominated

The beaming smile that follows the word "train wreck" indicates that either Laura is at one with her audience's taste, or that after being fed that line by whomever was interviewing her, she (finally?) got it right. Either way: cute.

Touched for the very second time

"I want my life to be an example that you can still achieve your dreams even if you keep your standards high," said Shannon. That she claimed this via the platform of America's Next Top Model immediately betrayed her claims of high standards.

Go go go...

I just blew my own mind when I thought about the fact that Alexandria's prescience alone should have kept her around (if nothing else, as a freak who still deserves watching!), except what she was being prescient about by making a song called, "Go Go Go," was that she would be going this week, and had she not gone, she wouldn't have been prescient. This is like one of those Zen riddles like how many babies can you fit into a tire or how much non-singing can you fit into 42 minutes or how many songs you can destroy with something as dumb as "pot ledom."

Two many

This show just rejected a girl who brought her own pickles to set and got down. Seriously, you don't even need to give Bianca a hotdog in order for her to get all blowjobby.

Take a good look at what you're leaving behind, ANTM.

Bre's on down the road

Bre can't even...

...clearly. And that is why she is no longer on the show.

Miss Jackson, if you're bitchy

Gif-bait:

And who am I to refuse?

Signature walk your ass out of here

For shame! All that rouge and nowhere to go.

The return of Sheena

 

Last week, Sheena came by and I interviewed her all over again about her time on ANTM. A few tidbits:

-    She has never felt the effect of the supposed Top Model stigma.
-    There are cameras and microphones in the bathroom.
-    Tyra's internal monologue is probably in a British accent.
-    She was not able to apply any of the show's lessons to life.
-    She was paid for her participation on this cycle.
-    They were not sleep-deprived and they were allowed to read and listen to music.
-    She made them write into her contract that they wouldn't mess with her hair during Ty-overs.

Also, my "Not Here To Make Friends" shirt comes via ThinkGeek. I've been dying for a chance to wear it in the presence of someone on reality TV. Thank you, ThinkGeek!