Despite Donald Trump's stated politics of bigotry, I am not boycotting this season of Celebrity Apprentice. Now, I think that doing so is a noble cause. I applaud those who can resist this explosion of destitution and facial reconstruction, but I cannot. It would take eternal damnation itself to tear me away from a weekly dose of La Toya Jackson in a high-pressure environment. Sorry. I am gay and in support of equality, but I am also human. Besides, if Trump doesn't support gays, he does support a gay sensibility -- this show, more than ever, is nonstop camp, from Lisa Rinna's lips to Marlee Matlin's ears.
(On one quickly glossed-over part of the premiere, Marlee was seen motioning to her ears, seemingly to remind Star Jones that she is, in fact, deaf. I don't know how much more over-the-top you can get than one of the most famous deaf women in all of pop culture being forced to gesticulate wildly to signal her own deafness.)
Dionne Warwick is a living copy of AARP The Magazine, all determined and exhaustible. Her speaking voice could be described as "stereotypical Catwoman." Richard Hatch is a curly mustache short of a cartoon villain. Gary Busey is an untouched pile of isms books sitting in Urban Outfitters. He has no idea how he got there.
The show is also visually arresting. This season of Celebrity Apprentice collects for broadcast the biggest number of strange-looking people I've seen since I Love Money 2.
Come, let's look: