Here's a completely bonkers news story from...the past. (Late '80s? Early '90s? I find that it's really hard to tell what era conservatives are from, even when you see them in present day.) Anyway, it seems this Arlington, Texas community decided that Halloween was too Satanic and full of ugly, so they banned it! And the replacement they devised (a fall celebration in which children were encouraged to dress up as their favorite characters from literature) is at Lisa Simpson levels of lame. If anybody could use a little Satan to spice things up, it's these people.
Incidentally, this comes from the VHS Exposing the Satanic Web, which you can watch in its entirety (though in the wrong aspect ratio, which is hateful) via Google video. It's a fairly amusing though overlong scare film hosted by Dave Roever, whose face was severely burned by a grenade in Vietnam. Sad story, but I'd be lying if I said that didn't add some atmosphere.