I really admired Franchesca Ramsey's entry into the shit-said meme,"Shit White Girls Say...to Black Girls," because instead of just rattling off stereotypical hypotheticals like videos that preceded it, this clearly came from actual shit that was said to her and thus works as social commentary (also, she just kills it on the delivery). And so, I have made a video that has less to say than probably any other video within the meme. Just trying to maintain a balance!
Unfortunately (or something), I'm breaking from tradition by not dressing my cat up for Halloween this year. I hope you have a good support system in place that will help you deal with this great tragedy. Halloween's cancelled, guys, since I can't make pop culture references by dressing my cat in an outfit that my boyfriend would have done the lion's share of work conceiving and creating anyway. BOO HOO (emphasis on the boo because of what was once Halloween).
In all seriousness: Whoops! I blame the fact that we redid our kitchen (again, my boyfriend did the lion's share of work because...I don't know. I'm domestically lazy and incompetent?). Also, I'm in Austin, Texas, for a reason that I can't wait to recount and share. I'm right on top of that, Roses.
In the meantime, please accept these pictures of Winston sitting on a pizza box as a shitty substitution for pictures of him in a Halloween costume. He's a pizza guy or an eating-disorder encourager or an anti-pizza box supporter or a vegan. You choose!
My boyfriend and I have often said that Jamillah's cheap, (I think) Canadian version of Sylvia's "Pillow Talk" is Winston's personal anthem because it's so weird and fluffy and coo-filled. I had no idea how right we were until I set this video to it: I started it where I wanted it, let it play and realized immediately that his kneading was more or less in sync with the song. The cat keeps a mean rhythm!
Our years of attempting to confront Winston with himself have been fruitless -- he looks away when his own image is thrust at him by mirror, and he's never responded to anything on screen...until he was introduced to an iPad. Letting animals see themselves for the first time is obviously what technology is all about.
Some bonus shots of Winston posing by the 'Pad are below.
If you know any cats, you know that they tend to develop and drop interests rather routinely. Above is a montage of Winston's latest: attacking (and maybe feeling attacked by) a wall. This wall has always been in our apartment, it's always looked the same and there's never been bugs on it (not that I've seen). In the past month, though, it's really, really been bothering him. I don't know why he does this. Maybe he sees dead Littles. Maybe these walls can talk. Regardless, I'm more than happy to exploit it.
(The song used, btw, is one of my favorite old-school Chicago tracks, "Bring Down the Walls" by Fingers Inc.)
This was my favorite part of a show that I'm not embarrassed to say I watched and loved last night, Animal Planet's Too Cute! Kittens. I will never scrub from my head the image of these Persian kittens meep-meeping their distress at a rambunctious pug puppy, and you know what? I don't want to scrub that image from my head. They are such brats! I am such a cat lady. Life is good.
I spent last week between jobs and attempting to organize my life. I wasn't entirely successful. I learned what I already knew: I have so much crap that I never, ever want to throw away. Below is some of it, scanned. Aren't you lucky, getting to look at my hoarding?
Now that I've made this post sound as unappetizing as possible (no cats were flattened in the making of it, I assure you!), the answer to a recurring question I've been asked more than once -- "What do you look like with hair?" -- is below, among many things that I think are actually interesting...
On Wednesday's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live, Parks & Recreation's Nick Offerman guested and Jimmy talked to him about the Cats That Look Like Ron Swanson Tumblr. (Ron Swanson is his P&R character -- I'm telling you this not because I think you are stupid, but because I didn't know it myself and it took me a while to figure out which name was that of the fictional character and which was the actual person. And when I a while, I mean a while. So, basically, I'm telling you because I'm stupid.) Winston has been featured on that blog a few times, and his picture was shown on Kimmel as well. I cued the clip above to the beginning of the Tumblr talk -- Winston should pop up just a few seconds after you press play.
Anyway, regarding the use of Winston's image, I have this to say: IMPROPER CREDIT!!!!!!!!! INTERNET-CITIZEN ARREST!!! SOUND THE ALARMS BECAUSE FOURFOUR IS MAD!!!