The best idea in the world made for good-to-great TV. If Being Bobby Brown didn't live up to wall-to-wall riot expectations, at least it insistently disappointed to the beat of its own drum. Bobby and Whitney have the charisma and co-dependent humor to merely exist -- neither of them could even define "putting on airs," and their abundance of weirdness means that unlike other celebreality, we won't be seeing any constructed situations or contrived plot points on B Cubed.
The first two episodes of Being Bobby Brown were, if nothing else, educational. We learned:
-Sometimes Bobby looks kinda hot...
-...but mostly, not.
He's channeling Flav here:
And showing off the gut here:
-Whitney still looks great, in her batshit way.
-Whitney prides herself on being "the mean one" and often covers her head (as a result?!?)
Things fall apart:
-Bobby can play the piano -- sorta
-Whitney digs Beyoncé
-Sharks give Whitney the willies
-Whitney snores
-Whitney has no one but the Newports to blame for her declining voice
-Edddie Murphy likes to play with his own nipples
-"Black love" is scatological (Thought that was brown or at least Brown love?)
I was going to run through a list of quotes, but because Bravo is really looking out for you, I don't have to -- so much excellent material has been subtitled. Yay for mumbling!
Fun with subtitles:
(He totally said "dookie," but whatever)
Whitney's stealing the show and I'm hooked. Next week, Bobby will reassure us that he isn't gay and Whitney brings out the big guns:
Can't wait!
so would you say this is worth watching?
I missed it and feel rather uncool.
Posted by: LA | July 01, 2005 at 08:14 AM
I cannot believe how skinny Whitney is in this show.
I think it's better than "Chaotic" (how could it not be?) but the mumbling has to go.
Posted by: | July 01, 2005 at 09:42 AM
Thank you FourFour - I don't have Bravo and I'm a huge Whitney fan. She's real - he's real - and they've never tried to something that they aren't - they put their weirdness out there for the whole world to see and as a bonus - neither has ever bothered the general public with their views on anything meaningfull or important - now that's my kind of entertainer.
Posted by: Toto | July 01, 2005 at 12:09 PM
It's good-to-great, baby. Watch!
Posted by: Rich | July 01, 2005 at 12:24 PM
OMG, I kept flipping back and forth. Bobby kept annoying the hell out of me. And dang Whitney is right up there with Lohan and Richie with the skinniness.
I feel bad for their kids! They are going to have PROBLEMS.
Thank god for the subtitles, otherwise I wouldn't have understood most of what I watched.
"where in the steam room!" hysterical!
Posted by: Mroman | July 01, 2005 at 02:22 PM
I loved the show. I think anyone who has a ghetto cousin will have heard a good number of the comments made on the show. I have to admit I did twist my head to the side when he said he had a bad experience with someone going at his booty once. Other that I really enjoyed watching them. I feel they are made for each otehr, and there are no negative meanings behind that. They love each other and can do more for each other than anyone else would. Whitney doesnt like to be bothered, i dont blame her....How the hell you going to ask someone for their autograph while they in teh steam room, talking about date this please. I would have said F off flatly. And the part when they were in the store and she was trying on glasses and they started dancing, was soo soo funny. I loved that part. I will definitely tune in next week.
Posted by: Ebony | July 01, 2005 at 02:23 PM
"Whitney doesnt like to be bothered, i dont blame her."
That argument would hold a lot more water if they hadn't HIRED A FREAKING FILM CREW to follow them around. Besides that they are in these totally low-rent, super PUBLIC places - of course they are going to be mobbed by The Great Unwashed.
And how pissed would you be if you'd spent good money on your family vacation, only to be told the pool (and whatever else) was CLOSED so that Whitney and Bobby could frolic unmolested?
This show is jaw-droppingly awesome, but don't try defending their behavior because that's a losing battle.
Posted by: Ruth | July 01, 2005 at 02:34 PM
My friend was part of the ATL crew that followed them around. THEY WEREN'T EVEN ALLOWED INSIDE THE HOUSE!!! They had to wait outside the gates until they got the call that Whitney and Bobby were going out somewhere!
Posted by: S | July 01, 2005 at 02:39 PM
we enjoyed watching it @ home, we were laughing our butts off.. :)
Posted by: MARY | July 01, 2005 at 04:24 PM
I just love it when I get to see celebrities who have gone absolutely bat-shit crazy. Kudos to Bravo. I needed something after the Anna Nicole show ended to make me feel better about myself.
Posted by: Nina | July 01, 2005 at 07:40 PM
What you see here is pretty much what you expect. BB is just a brotha that made some money 20 years ago and fucked up a good thang. Whitney is a cracked out freak that got turned out by a brotha from the neighborhood who brought her down to his level. People like to gawk at fools that fuck up what they had , it's tragic but that's life. I'll watch for the peep show factor but in the long run white folks love this shit because it reinforces the niggas need whitties guidence factor. The more thangs change, the more they stay the same. Free Huey, O.J.,Nelson Mandella and Quannah Parker.
Posted by: Migleswine | July 02, 2005 at 01:46 AM
I tried to watch a rerun of it, and it made me want to just go out into the street and kill.
Posted by: 13tongimp | July 02, 2005 at 09:23 AM
Whitney is SO down and out. It's true what they say about being with an addict. They will drag you down before you uplift them. I think back to the way Whitney was in the 80's. Bobby actually seemed like the more lucid out of the two. And poor Bobbi Kristina. Addiction truly is a family illness.
Posted by: Liz | July 02, 2005 at 10:46 AM
Huey's dead, O.J.'s guilty, Mandela got out years ago, and Quannah Parker's been dead for decades. Your revolution needs to read a damned book now and again, Migleswine.
Posted by: The Lone Haranguer | July 02, 2005 at 11:36 AM
You guys are all a hot mess! I missed it but I am definitely tuning into the damn reruns. Bobbi's hair look so damn dry in the promo's and can someone find Whitney a new wig. I love her but damn Whitney the short cropped looked reminds me of Anita Baker in 1985. Oh well I am gonna have to tune into Wendy Williams for the harsh commentary!
Posted by: Issen | July 02, 2005 at 11:54 AM
Despite the fact that Whitney and Bobby have problems we should try to support them.
At least they are not fake and phony about who and what they are. If you don't respect them then at least respect their honesty.
Some stars are not honest about their lifestyle and so what if Whitney is skinny, don't you think she sees that everyday? Obviously, it is not an issue for her (maybe it should be) but she is not trying to hide it.
Posted by: Sherri | July 02, 2005 at 02:52 PM
Re: "Being Bobby Brown" - Sad, scary, mortifying and ugly for everyone involved. (That's Entertainment!)
You know how with some reality TV, everything is so awful, you can't avert your eyes? Well, this show is not like that. It's just repulsive.
Posted by: Richard Maslow | July 02, 2005 at 03:41 PM
I could sense a deep well of sorrow and terror right under their smiling faces that totally bummed me out. Or maybe I was just projecting and it's really me that neeeds to lose the freakin' bloodsucking, sycophantic posse...ur...friends and family.
Posted by: Neil Mitchell | July 02, 2005 at 04:04 PM
"Sad, scary, mortifying, and ugly"...Exactly right. I would also add depressing to that list. Even though we don't actually see Bobby hit Whitney, many of the other elements of domestic violence are evidenced on that show. Bobby's possessiveness (e.g. not allowing Whitney to be massaged by a man), telling Whitney to "forget about past--it's a brand new day", and Whitney's pattern of pressing assault charges and then dropping them, all speak to a violent relationship. Whitney is drugged out most of the time on the show, as well. It's just a very sad look at the effects of domestic violence and addiction on a talented woman who once had a bright future ahead of her.
Posted by: Bethany | July 02, 2005 at 04:16 PM
Depressing indeed. Didn't
we almost have it all?
Someone get that woman into
rehab. To think I used to
envy her beauty!
Posted by: MAR | July 02, 2005 at 06:26 PM
Saddest thing I've ever seen.... they were both awesome at one time but seeing them now why would anyone want an autograph anyway! LOL nasty and SAD
Posted by: JJ | July 03, 2005 at 09:29 AM
Fabulous!
And thanks so much for posting the screencaps -- yours is the best coverage we've seen on this trainwreck.
Posted by: David K. | July 03, 2005 at 11:41 AM
I am really hoping after Whitney sees how crazy her and Bobby look, that maybe she will try and turn it all around, she is so beautiful and talented, Yeah thats real great how honest they are but it's sad, they used to both be at the top of their game, now they both are looking for something.... Look to God. You will never find what your looking for until you realize you need God.
Posted by: Jen | July 03, 2005 at 06:45 PM
I just watched the show on BRAVO. Crack kills!! It is killing Whitney and Bobby slowly. The children seem to suffer as well. They do not look happy at all! Whitney has really let herself go. Even under the pounds of make-up you can tell she looks the worst. She should be glad that the fans still are by her side and want to take pictures of her. They are both corny as h@#.
Posted by: LeShania Blue | July 03, 2005 at 10:49 PM
whitney, put the pipe down. bobby, you too.
her smoking is killing her voice, but the crack is wackness is makin' it even worse!
hell to the no!
But yah i'll be back for you, mr. bobby brown! I can't wait for next week.
btw: did you catch the Confessions of a Video Vixen? Gossip to die for. you can read it in five minutes at Barnes! She talks about crazy ass Bobby Brown who said he was part of Al Qaeda. Fresh.
Posted by: voodoo | July 04, 2005 at 01:49 AM