Crap attack

Stacy Lattisaw "Attack of the Name Game"

Before reading further, please listen to the song, if you're the type that does that sort of thing. I want to try a little experiment. While your ears are occupied, keep your eyes busy with these super scorchin' pics of '80s teen sex-pot and "Attack" singer, Stacy Lattisaw.

Now that you've endured that, do you have any idea how to play Ms. Lattisaw's proposed game? Me neither, and I've been listening to this song for years! Way to speak to your target demo (I'm guessing five-year-olds, or those with the mental capacity of such), Stace.

1982's "Attack of the Name Game" takes novelty to the Nth degree, presenting enough gags (a 16-year-old who's more squeaker than rapper, a wiggily voiced alien character, nameplay, a cameo from the squeaker's younger sibling) to make Lattisaw seem like an inspiration to the similarly eager-eager-eager-to-please Mariah Carey (is it a surprise that the no-less-gimmicky Mariah sampled "Attack" in 1999's "Heartbreaker?!?"). A lot of people look back fondly on Lattisaw, with good reason -- though she saw the height of her popularity during the early '80s, when she was a teenager, her youth was rarely exploited in her songs. She was (is?) a surprisingly powerful singer, sounding grown and often fantastic despite herself.

But not on "Attack," a place were candy-shop cutesy meets geriatric pacing (hit-or-miss producer Narada Michael Walden plays shuffleboard -- poorly! -- instead of crafting a beat Stacy would want to keep her time to). Un-funkified lameness aside, the major offense of "Attack," and what makes it so crappily intoxicating, is its aforementioned, sloppily realized setup. This is a high-level name-game, unnecessarily complicated by scattered consonants and the fact that we're introduced to it by that damn alien voice. Let's check the lyrics to try to figure out what the game is all about:

It’s Clack it back, I gotta Clack attack, I gotta Clee Cly Cloe the Clack a jack. Turn the Tyde, you gotta move the Myde, You gotta wham-bam funkify the Fyde: Clyde!

OK, the alien's name is Clyde, so that makes this the template:

It's (first sound of name before vowel)-ack it, back I gotta (first sound of name before vowel)-ack attack, I gotta (first sound of name before vowel)-ee (first sound of name before vowel)-y (first sound of name before vowel)-oe the (first sound of name before vowel)-ack a jack. Turn the T-(unused, last portion of name) you gotta move the M-(last portion of name), You gotta wham-bam funkify the F-(last portion of name): (name)!

Let's try "Rich!"

It's Rack it back I gotta Rack attack I gotta Ree Ry Roe the Rack a jack. Turn the Tich you gotta move the Mich, You gotta wham-bam funkify the Fich: Rich!

If this whole post isn't too Pee-Wee's Playhouse for you, I suggest you give this a try (and, as usual, if your name is "Chuck," you're in luck!). But seriously, the shit's hard and I don't think I'd be able to do it without looking off my template. Unless I heard the song like a million times, which I haven't, nor have many others as the song wasn't a huge hit or anything (AllMusic says it peaked at No. 14 on the R&B chart and at No. 70 on pop). Shocker that this one didn't catch on like it was supposed to!

Two more things that make "Attack of the Name Game" fantastic crap:

1. Alien Clyde's description of his dance during the breakdown, which is just as confusing (if not more) than the name game: "Now, now put your left foot down / Now put your other left foot down / Now put your right foot down / Now put your good foot down / And walk like this / Well, get down earthlings, get down / Now put all three hands together and clap." Yeah, like that's possible.
2. Stacy implores, "Come on, let's do Tina!" Whatever it takes to make it exciting.

Just to prove that I'm not a Stacy hater, I'm offering the non-crap bonus "I'm Down for You", which comes directly after "Attack" on her Sneakin' Out full-length, is a good example of her woman-child persona and finds Narada giving her something to really croon to. Love the call-and-response synth overload.

And, I'd also like to point to point you in the direction of two MP3 sites that consistently offer music that is actually, uh, good (imagine!): one soulful negro, which is home to exactly what its name implies (including some fantastic boogie, which rarely gets any kinda blog love) and B-Side Wins Again, which is concentrated on non-album rap tracks from (mostly) the '90s and sometimes is in French. I never really thought of structuring a sentence using the phrases "ooh la la" and "hip-hop." BSWA made me reconsider.

Comments

[Bill]

I've always liked this song. Que sera sera.

What I love about FourFour:

It's black or it's white. No grey area for FourFour, ever. Bill, you've always liked the song. That's not really the point, is it? Can you sing 'Attack of the Name Game' using your own name? I didn't think so.

[duane]

I honestly think that you must never get bored. Ever.

[voodoo]

sounds familiar: let's use chuck:

chuck chuck bo buck- banana fanna fo fuck fee fi fo fi fuck....CHUCK!

excellent.

[dj Danny S.]

Good ol' Stacy Cole Slaw. Thanks for the memories, Rich. If you want an education, my favorite is still "Nail It To The Wall." It's the perfect situation.

[Michael K]

FourFour, this is one of the hottest songs I've ever heard in my life! I love you!

Duane, you didn't read the entire post, did you? There is a reference to using the name 'Chuck' about 3/4 of the way through the article. Tsk. Tsk.

[Arthur Tsang]

That is a tune they need to re-release that shit! Didn't Mariah sample that shit?

[Bill]

Let's see...

It's Back it, back I gotta Back attack, I gotta Bee By Boe the Back a jack. Turn the Till you gotta move the Mill You gotta wham-bam funkify the Fill: Bill!

Holy God that's lame. I may have to rethink my opinion of this song.

Don't rethink it, Bill! You've changed MY mind!

[Kelle]

Actually the track for Stacy's song is sampled from Tom Tom Club's 1981 Genius of Love. One more reason to hate Mariah - she sampled a sample.
Thanks for the links to the good music!

[Mario]

Oh my God, I used to have a *straight* crush on Stacy Lattisaw!!I have not heard that song for the LONGEST time! Then, Mariah used it for her "Heartbreaker" and I slowly died inside...and to piggyback Kelle's comment, I also remember that TTC song. What was your favorite song from them? Mine was "Who Wants An Ugly Girl?" Anyway, thanks for reliving my 80s moment fourfour. Love your website (esp. your link on "Chunk"--I, too, am a Chunk and proud! =D)

[boogie tonight]

i loved this lp when i was younger and ended up getting the cd on cut out when i got older...

[djs]

haha, that song is some good shit.

whats even more funny is i googled the name of the song and this was one of the first hits

[William J. Johnson]

I happened to love that song Attack of the Name Game. It is from my time and it was a fun song for someone of Stacy and I ages. She was truly an inspiration to all child recording artist around that time. Her voice was a powerhouse and so soulful, you couldn't help but to love her! I wish she would come back out again, even if it is to sing Christian music!

[kim]

Mr. Johnson I think that is all Stacy sings now is Gospel music. I don't think she records any more I think she is just singing in her church. If anyone has any other information regarding STacy please share she was one of my favorite singers when I was growing up.

[Lex]

wow kelle you are so right I had to play both and the drums are 100 percent from tom tom club, they just screwed around with the synthezizer to make it slightly different. I think they played the synth backwards. i'll have to play it on my turntables to confirm that.

[T-Luv]

I think its one of the best songs ever made. Hands fucking down. fo real

[James]

This is the first hip-hop song I fell in love with. I remember when my dad gave me my first walkman when he got back from Korea in 1981 and this song was playing when I put on the head phones and pressed play. I listened to it countless times. I'm glad to see someone besides my self actually liked the song. You are right now that I am older and I realize that the song really can only capture the attention of a five to six year old and anyone with the similar mentality.

[roch20]

Hey hi, well i don't have the pleasure of knowing you , but dude you just got me up on my feets with this one; i was 10 when this was playing in my vinyl player, thanks 4 sharing...!

[Hbqnqwiw]

HGzybI

[Bitneither]

Motor Lip,conversation ask hair reference increasingly totally role affect thought significance order space continue attempt stage little far series patient cost imply youth yeah lady then late though course people worker middle student area number build rock theory relation section section joint chief miss indicate pair place travel agreement brother population hardly settlement clear colleague race northern computer machine attract ticket general suffer all dress like hair eye commitment procedure heat drink mean reach clearly work labour offer pleasure cross send sound off favour overall

[Carlos]

Well, I think you've always loved this song, especially its rhyming lyrics. And this resentment of yours is just to keep up with your writing style, which many a people dislike.

[REFURBISHED COMPUTERS]

www.electrocomputerwarehouse.com
its just fine not very good song but the tuning is nice have to listen and saw the pic it looks to be so old pics but good shared by the blogger.