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December 15, 2005



If you ever want a child I will gladly lend you my womb!
Because that spreadsheet rocks!

Thats Ashley's fiance? Is he loaded or something?
Although the nerdy ones are usually the well hung ones so maybe the secret is in his pants.

and its hightime for some Cat action...like an early furry xmas pressie.

Joe CuttheShit

"After a brief stop at pretty, Coryn got right back on the bus to confusing. May the penis rumors never die!" Oh. My. God. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I mean everything. You get it ALL right on. Nice work!!


I was so annoyed by that stupid look on Nicole's face.

Interesting that when Tyra addressed the audience, the first thing she did was justify why Nicole won.

And if they're looking for a high fashion coutour model, then say that in the beginning...and don't include a plus-size girl in the running! That's not high fashion, and I'm sure ANTM won't be the catalyst for that kind of change inthe fashion industry.

I still LOVE Lisa. She should be an actress.

Did anyone catch Yaya in that Radio Shack ad?

Rich, you made Cycle 5 SO MUCH FUN! Please never stop the recaps. Checking your blog post show is SO automatic for ma now.

I look forward to your recaps of Cycle 6 as much as I look forward to Cycle 6.


Brilliant spreadsheet, Toho!


i can't wait for spring! these recaps have been most entertaining...it is I who feel honoured. by the way, jayla is still pure skank with brown scary teeth, and she TOTALLY stole that damn granola bar!


by the way, every time ebony opened her mouth i wanted to smack her senseless...how many times did she include the word 'like' into every non-sensical sentence? she is so inarticulate it is scary...she grew up in an english-speaking country, right?


Rich, I have to tell you that throughout this entire reunion show, the words "Um" and "Ew" kept running through my head over and over and making me giggle. You're a gem!

Kyle is looking fierce! I don't why they made her a brunette on the show when she was clearly best as a blonde.

I LOVE Kim and Lisa...if they were looking for "high fashion" then why in the world did these two get cut? Oh...maybe cuz it's a bit of BS. If I swung her way, I'd hit on Kim...she's a cutie.

I agree w/ mariootsa...Jayla so took those stupid cereal bars. That and she's a crappy liar. Can I send her the name of my dentist...he's pretty good.

And how sad did Sarah look when Kim basically said she was just using her for booty? Poor thing is a tad confused these days...

Rich, thanks for the great recaps! Can't wait for next season, bring on the deformities!

M to the G

Quel was right. I sensed a need to justify in the opening.

And yes the "reunion" was boring and yes someone else should have won and I don't like anyone touching my food either. But I will be right there for Cycle 6 and Rich's insights always double the fun of the big old mess that is ANTM.


poor sad nicole. anybody notice, at the end, how everyone was talking, dancing together, kim and lisa were about 3 seconds from all-out necking....and there was nicole, all by herself, doing lame little moves to the music.
i think they all know nik was robbed.


when they panned to ashley's fiance, i had to do a double-take.
am i going to hell for laughing as hard as i did? anyways, the reunion show was awful! naughty tyra, not doing it up proper.


The fact that they brought up the damn granola bar thing was so stupid. But I have a theory: the crew took them to cause strife in the house because save for Lisa, this cycle was The. Most. Boring. Evah. Right down to the winner.


That reunion show was some mess. Period.


when i saw that you were reviewing the reunion show, i was immediately sorry i missed it. and now after reading the review i'm not sorry at all... from all accounts it was boring, boring, and... did i say boring?

nice job on the recap though. nicole is NOT high fashion, jayla DID eat the granola bars, and i can't WAIT for season six to begin... tyra, her devilishness and her fivehead included.

thanks for the weekly recaps! see ya at 6!


Rich, you are the goddamn wittiest person whose writing I have had the pleasure of reading lately. As an amateur snarkblogger myself, I worship at your altar. Please don't give this up. Ever. I laugh til' I cry.

Tipsy McStaggers

Rich you have made me love ANTM as much as I love Whitney and Bobby. Thanks for all of the long hours of work


I admit to being somewhat disappointed that I would be missing this "reunion" show as last night was my office Christmas party. Thanks for coming through for me!

Ashley's intended reminds me of someone, but I can't quite think of who. I really dig his eyebrows, though. They look like those ones on ventriloquists' dummies that can be controlled.


"America's Next Pure Model Tranny"....!!

Ok. Now ya did it. Nurse? Oxygen, please.


Did anyone catch Tyra accidentally admitting that Cover Girl calls the shots with certain elimination choices? I have to watch it again to clarify.


You're the best, FourFour. And for the record, I agree (with Ty Ty) that Nicole is the only actual girl who could actually work as a model. I disagree (with Bank-able) on the whole "high fashion" shit. TeenVogue, Seventeen, and CosmoGirl will all be calling Nicole. Vogue, John Galliano? not so much. Pure model = girl with ACTUAL modeling potential (i.e., YES. The show has been a sham up until now... a great sham though it is). Keep up the good work.


you are the only good thing left about this show
this season really just killed it all for me, tyra's investment plan has just become too blatantly obvious. but because of you, i will continue to watch. and read. your opinions and view are fucking DEAD ON. the humour, its dead on. i dunno which crew you're hangin around with, but your crew should hook up w/ mine sometime cuz we seem to have our shit aligned.

best of luck in the future and i look forward to reading next season,

Well, I think BOTH Nik and Nicole had/have more potential than any of the past winners especially Naima!

I mean of all the winners which ones have gotten any attention since the show ended??

Adrienne became a reality hoe, but that doesn't count.

Yoanna, Yoanna who??

Eva has gotten some work...in the blakc community!

Naima, I'm not even going to go there.

So yeah, I was a fan of both Nik and Nicole!


I ate the granola bar. Sorry, Bre. I wanted you to "go off" and "wild out" and roll your neck and such. Bygones?

Veggie Girl

I have seen Yaya in that Radio Shack commercial, but until Quel said it was her, I couldn't figure out why she looked familiar. I thought she was a booted American Idol contestant.

Anyway, for those who missed the reunion, it'll probably run this coming Tuesday at 8:00.

I noticed Ebony's awful way of speaking, too! I don't know how she even made it on the show. Along with Jayla. Ugh.

Did anyone notice Nicole's way of speaking, though? She answered two of Tyra's questions within 45 seconds with "way cool" and "way excited". IIIIIeeeee!

Rich, that picture of all the girls looking bored is priceless! Good catch!

During this show, I flipped to a Victoria's Secret commercial and was reminded of what real models look like. Apples and oranges, people. Apples and oranges.


I love America's Next Top Model. There are times where the judges confuse me, for I don't know what kinda of model there looking for at times. They will say one thing and do the opposite and cut the wrong girl. I feel that there were many girls that had real potential. Mercedes (season 2), Eva (Season 3), Brittney (Season 4), and Lisa and Kyle (Season 5). I felt that the true winner for this season should have been Nik. She did it for me. Her personality was like supergirl. Lady outside, Fierce in the spotlight.

We will have to judge these new girls for Season 6.

Peace Tmac


I dont always agree with you rich (i.e. the Bre love, the pure nicole hate), but I do agree on almost everything here. That was some of the most BORING drivel yet. Tyra asked questions that were already answered on the freakin show. I think her cute quotient is just about used up, I dont care how mean Naomi was to her. Heidi's show is giving her a run for her $, if at least in hosting & Naomi would be a better judge of couture models ANYDAY of the week & twice on Sunday.

I gotta say, Kyle did nada for me. But ashley, who i thought was the prettiest going into this thing still looked good. Nik dissapointed a little, I preferred her with the fuller,darker extensions, she seemed a bit washed out under the lights too.

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