Beyond the fashion of the dolls

Gay.

Somewhere between Nick dropping Diana Vreeland's name and the unapologetic confessions from at least two male contestants revealing that they had years of experience in dressing Barbie dolls, ProjRun laced up its fuschia Sauconys to show that it was very much in the running towards becoming the GAYEST SHIT EVER. But for the millions of impossibly arched, tiny, plastic steps ProjRun took forward, it minced at least one back . . .

Another gay bites the dust. The confused and confusing Raymundo, who alternately claimed to be designing a dress for Barbie, little girls and little girls' mothers, is gone. No big loss -- his greatest design feat was getting the back of his hair to stand at a right angle.

Anyway:

1. Loved Kirsten's farewell letter:

Had she been taking lessons at the Tim Gunn school of emotional expression? Nice to know she was responding really, really well to her fellow contestants.

2. Speaking of emotional expression:

Andraé told Tim that he didn't ever want to seem vulnerable (after confessionalizing earlier in the episode that he didn't want to come off as weak). Right. Wonderful ways to butch it up and never let anyone see your vulnerable core include:

Engaging in a limpness competition with a giant roll of fabric.

Voguing.

And running through Times Square, arms out, to scare away pigeons. The flight of the fancypants.

3. That said, we all have our nelly moments, right, Spaulding?

This after he wanted to bet a beer on whether or not Andraé would cry again. Too bad Heidi pissed in his.

He went all, "Whachu talkin' 'bout, Heidiss?" after he was dismissed from the runway, and realized that he hadn't won the challenge. His crumpled design lost to Nick's, but I thought Chloe's did the best job in capturing Barbie's impossibly girlie vibe. Uh, not that I know what that means or anything.

4. We all have our Neely moments, too:

"I want a doll! I want a doll!"

For no particular reason, other than for the sake of flamboyance, there was a mad rush to grab a Barbie "muse" after the specs of the challenge were laid out.

But these weren't just any Barbies -- they were My Scene Barbies. My Scene Barbies, as their head designer, Lily Martinez, pointed out, are . . .

. . . "for an older girl that aspires to be a teenager." What about the self-destructive tweens who don't aspire to live beyond 12? Is there a Hard Livin' Trick-N-Sniff Barbie for them?

5. I'm never going to stop reminding you that I know virtually nothing about fashion and the few comments I have on what the contestants whip up are from my gut. In this case, my gut is churning:

How wack is this?

Seriously, I'm embarrassed for the doll:

Just because they sell Barbie at Wal-Mart doesn't mean she has to dress like it!

This came courtesy of Kara, by the way, who offers her very own flights of fancy.

She's straight out of a period piece, always a gasp away from the vapors or the bubonic plague or some shit. I'm not sure if I've ever seen a reality show character more irritating and high strung.

6. I'm lying. Of course I have:

The. Worst.

He can't even be quietly observant without annoying. To wit, Chloe introduced us to the "Daniel Franco Shuffle": "When he design [sic], he actually looks at it. Pin it on, walks away, dance a little bit."

If only he were younger, chunkier and goonier, he could put some truffle in his shuffle.

7. Nick continues to be my boy. He used the phrase "wiggidy wack!"

I think he's referencing Kris Kross, who, come to think of it, were highly invested in fashion, themselves. I think I'm gonna wiggidy swoon.

8. I never realized that Heidi was kind of channeling Bobby in the promo spots.

More arms-out action! I love her more and more.

Heidi Klum: she's hip, she's cool.

Comments

[pris b]

definitely right about kara. between the angst and the hairstyle, i was beginning to wonder whether she was deliberately emulating virginia woolf:

http://www-utenti.dsc.unibo.it/~napolita/ig/woolf.jpg

let's hope she takes the impression to another level and walks into a river with her pockets full of rocks someday soon.

[ChiliGurl]

I liked Nick's dress. I am an Aunt, albeit a queer one...and if my nieces were younger, they would totally wear that! Andrae' needs to just GO. He works my last gay nerve. Honey, I thought we had enough queer drama last season with Jay and Austin Scarlett, but this season is over the top! I agree, Rich. This is the gayest shit ever! And I know nothing about fashion either.

[Diva Delux]

I love that shot of Santino!
He's such a little bitch about losing... it's like going to be the highlight of every episode!
I totally can't wait for him to go off on Nina Garcia... you know it's coming...
"Why don't you hand out 4 auf wiedershens, Heidi Klume, and we can really get this thing started!"
Ohhh... that was neeerrvvyyy!

[bethanne]

the thing that i cannot stop laughing about is the franco truffle shuffle. GENIUS.

but yeah, i agree about him. i've been saying it since i found out daniel was back for this season: he needs to fucking leave. it's unfair to the other people that he's even back. he should have just sucked it up and proven himself elsewhere.

he's one meltdown away from quitting. i know it.

and by the way, i still adore santino. even with his pissy attitude.

[dede]

LOVED the cut-and-paste of Daniel Franco on the jiggly man--his disembodied head's expressions were channeling the brilliant use of Saddam Hussein's disembodied head on South Park.

[paperclip]

I definitely hate Kara. She should have gotten kicked off with that 10 year old garbage. Say what you want about Daniel Franco.... I still want to bang his ass.

[manhattan offender]

"wiggedy wack"? I thought it was "wickity wack". I'll never be able to keep up with you fashionistas and your lingo.

Note to paperclip: Have no doubt that Franco will want a mirror in the room when you bang him and will pause occasionally to evaluate the position in which he is being banged.

[Ambre]

I miss Austin and his shiny lips.....

[M to the G]

Santino's a definite talent, but doesn't he kind of look like a Vietnam veteran sometimes?

[Chris]

Andrae is definitely trying to channel Ann Marie on "That Girl" running through the city. Sorry hon but you're no Marlo Thomas.

[Fuzzy]

Santino is a cross between Mick Fleetwood
http://www.asc-studio-acoustics.com/images/rumours-sm.jpg

and Frank Zappa
http://common.weblogsinc.com/common/images/8288529185228374.JPG?0.48198634566618415

I look forward equally to his designs and his hilarious attitude.

No screen-shot of him rocking himself in the corner, bemoaning his non-supremacy?

[Rich]

mo: You say "wickity," I say "wiggedy" and Kris Kross probably said "wiggida," but CLOSE ENOUGH.

Fuzzy: Isn't the picture under No. 3 what you're talking about?

[carlos]

hate kara! (i wanted her to get swallowed by the escalater what swallowed her barbie hat)
hate daniel! (the shuffle made me convulse)
hate, hate, hate andrae! (everything about him is cause for death!)

love the show, though! the best gay shit on teevee

[t kitty]

hey! the advocate didn't mention guadalupe! i have my suspicions that she's a big ol' queer too. or maybe i'm just confused because dyke haircuts are no longer just for dykes...

now, like so many other viewers, i know next to nothing about fashion, but i do know that Heidi's line of Birkenstocks are nothing but hideous:

http://www.birkenstockusa.com/Heidi_Klum/

[gayest neil]

"Is there a Hard Livin' Trick-N-Sniff Barbie for them?"

Those are sufficiently covered by the Bratz dolls.

[pesky808]

calling it now: final three will be Chloe, Nick & Santino

[Sumati]

I hate Kara! I thought she should have been the one to leave.. but Tim Gunn actually liked her creation thing... He says so in his "blog"... :P

Andrae and Santino's emo-ness and angsty-ness is seriously getting on my nerves.. I wanted to like Santino b/c his dresses are nice (same for Daniel Franco) but ugh their personalities seriously make me want to strangle them.

[Avik]

May Peace
Hope and Love
be with you
Today
Tomorrow
and Always

Merry Christmas!

[Carly]

Word to the wickety wack. That was the best part of the whole show... save for the B3 christmas ep promos.

[Rocco]

Ok we're never fucking again. How many times have i asked you to write about PRoject Runway and once you finally start doing it I don't even get a link in one of the stories??? you know hwo easy it is to link me to anything? eveyrtime u hate something u can just say ala Rocco and it will make complete sense..... totally not happy right now!

[Charlie]

Oh my god, I think Daniel Franco is cute!

*pout*

I think Tim's cute too.

[Rachel]

Is Emmett gay? I'm having trouble guessing with him.

[Mr. Prince]

As far as the outfit, it was VERY similar to ones they have (believe me, I know about this series.)

is daniel franco gay???????

[Andrew]

Emmett is definitely gay, and Daniel Franco is "officially" straight, although I think (read: desperately hope) he wants to taste the rainbow.