For the love of robots

It's the most bizarre collision of music geekiness, regular geekiness and cheese championing on the Internet: for the past two years, Holland-based producer/DJ/preservationist I-F has counted down the Top 100 songs of all time, as determined by the listeners/forum members of his online radio station, CBS (no, it means Cybernetic Broadcasting System, but it's still worth a chuckle, right?).Thanks to the great work and generous hosting of Bruce Heller/DJ Lemmings (go check out his mixes), you too can experience all 11 hours of 2005's CBS Top 100 at his Elektrosonik site. Here's the direct link -- you can grab 2004 while you're at it. Might as well give yourself almost a full day straight of listening material, right?

Songs eligible for the list come from CBS' database, its 146,000-song strong playlist. For the uninitiated, CBS is a mecca of all sounds electronic, though many tune in specifically for the vintage electronic disco that the station offers. And that's with good reason: I-F is just about single-handedly responsible for the renewed interest in Italo disco that started in the late '90s, essentially spawned electroclash, and, certainly more impressively, survived it.

I'm not patient enough to run through Italo's history or any grandiose, theoretical definitions. Basically, when I say "Italo" I mean heavily synthesized, heavily arpeggiated, Moroder-inspired post-disco disco that thrived from about '79-'87 and may or may not have been made in Italy. More than anything, "Italo" represents a sound and attitude, which is why something like Pluton and Humanoids' sci-fi obsessed "World Invaders" is essential Italo to me even though its creator, Pierre Perpall, is French Canadian. Italo, like house, is a feeling. For fairly comprehensive accounts of Italo's rise and fall and rise into fashion, click here or here. And, for the timeless illustration of how labeling music results in frustration, check here.

Part of the reason why something like "World Invaders" is so essentially Italo to me is that it appeared on I-F's 2001 DJ mix Mixed Up in the Hague Vol. 1, bar none, the most comprehensive, influential and awe-inspiring single-disc history of Italo disco that there is (you can download that and its less important sequel here).

Hague focuses mostly on the icy, early side of Italo, but what's most impressive about 2005's CBS Top 100 (broadcast Dec. 26, 2005) is that it doesn't -- it's teaming with what many would consider to be the ugly side of Italo (just about everything on the countdown is Italo disco, and most of what isn't is current stuff made to sound Italo-esque). Full, ugly, barely intelligible vocals, layers and layers of synths that would amount to lushness if they didn't sound like they were disintegrating and muddy beats abound. I mean, this, M & G's "When I Let You Down", in all its vibrating, children's-choir-hosting glory came in at No. 1!

And that's what's so great about this year's countdown, which you can view here, if you don't feel like downloading the countdown. It seems to mark a shift away from the icy, cool Italo toward the latter-day, pseudo-soulful stuff. I love that there are people so into this that trends are emerging within the retroism. I love that people embrace Italo's inherent flaws. Though Italo is often regarded as a hip thing to listen to and reference, the fact is that the overwhelming amount of this shit is nothing if not markedly, remarkably, painfully, gorgeously uncool. "They're fucked-up tracks. That's what is captivating about them to me, there's something wrong with each of them," is what Morgan Geist told me when I interviewed him in 2004 about his Italo-oriented (and brilliant) mix, Unclassics. Most Italo songs are some combination of silly and stimulating (the near-omnipresent arpeggiated synths can feel like a brain massage, if you're listening to this stuff on headphones), but it's rare to find Italo tracks that are silly and stimulating in the same way. These songs are characters.

What follows are some thoughts on choice entries on the countdown. I'm posting original versions of the tracks, as opposed to ones taken from the countdown files. I'm not trying to deprive you of I-F's witty commentary (his favorite way to describe these often fey disco songs is to calling them "hard rockin'"), I just think you should hear the entire songs without a voice over them, is all.

60. Knight Action featuring Sedenia "Single Girl" - Funny that the single Chicago track on this countdown sounds overwhelmingly Italo. "Single Girl" is a total rip-off of "Dirty Talk," right down to the inability not to actually engage in any real smut. No matter, the helium-voiced Sedenia sounds like a slut I could wrap my heart around (love the deadpan "Single." after every line of the chorus -- it makes her swingin' bachelorette personal real, uh, convincing). And then she raps and I piss myself. This record has a rabid following -- the original 12" went for $264 via eBay last week. And look, there's another one up for bid. If someone wants to buy this for me for all the hard work I put into this blog, I will not turn it down.

Please?

57. Mr. Master "A Dog in the Night" - "These vocals actually suck so hard that they are brilliant," says I-F about this one. Exactly. As with freestyle, part of loving Italo is embracing not just the incomprehensible, ESL lyrics, but the voices that deliver them, as well. Pineapples' "Come On Closer" (No. 7) would be just another New York-boogie knock-off without Douglas Roop's Vegas-lounge-style crooning (when he makes his voice break during the second chorus -- "Hey-ay-ay! -- it's about as Italo as you can get). I really hate when, in an attempt to make this shit cool or more palatable to a hipster audience, people depend on dubs instead of playing full vocal versions (which is why I think the second Italo DeRuggiero mix is a fraud -- the first one is fine, tho).

18. Fockewulf 190 "Body Heat" - "'Ey! You! Take a look at me! Look me deep inside," is my new request to all I encounter.

14. Danny Boy and the Serious Party Gods "Castro Boy (Somewhat Normal Version)" - Yet another thing that I-F and his listeners get right is how fucking gay this shit is. A lot of current dance music, especially of the Kompakt variety, rejects the genre's soul tradition. As a result of turning its back on being human, it comes out sexless. Disco never really did that, even when it was at its most robotic (see Patrick Cowley's many robo-homo records). Gays loved this shit and it loved them, so that it makes sense that a song that's set on San Francisco's Castro Street, with mentions of fisting, poppers and watersports, and containing the lines, "So he starts to read me, he says I talk nelly. How rude! I do not talk nelly. I'm butch! Well, fuck you, too," should chart so high. "Castro Boy" parodies Zappa's "Valley Girl," with enough faggy in-jokes to make Larry David prolapse. I don't know if a high contingent of CBS listeners are gay or what (they also placed Ken Laszlo's equally homo-centric "Hey Hey Guy" in the Top 50), but for a bunch of wannabe robots, they're really sensitive.

5. Mr. Flagio "Take a Chance" - Another Hague fav. I love this song so much, I feel like I've been listening to it all my life. It isn't as emotional or grandiose as a lot of the tracks I've posted (it's much more of the icy variety), but when I think "Italo," this springs to mind first. Always.

Oh, also notable is the placement of Lindstrøm's "I Feel Space," which came in at No. 6 -- pretty amazing for a track just released last year. Or maybe not: time will tell if it's a classic. It was my No. 1 of the year, though, so clearly, I'm all about it becoming one.

Finally, a few things missing from this year's chart:

Throbbing Gristle "Hot on the Heels of Love (Ron Hardy Edit)" - I-F says this just missed the Top 100. Hardy, who along with and across town from Frankie Knuckles, helped create house music as Chicago knew it throughout the '80s, reconfigured this one to pronounce the beat and turn down Cosi's vocal. It's never sounded so nasty.

Midnight Star "Midas Touch (Hell Interface Remix)" - This placed in the Top 40 last year, but missed this year's Top 100 entirely. A shame, because it provides a really soulful alternative to all the (admittedly endearing) pseudo-soul that's happening all around. Boards of Canada remixed Midnight Star's boogie original into this electro storm. Who knew those pasty boys were so down?

Sylvester "I Need Somebody To Love Tonight" - "The ultimate track for making love to whatever," said I-F of this one last year. Hard to argue with it -- it's the downtempo highlight of Sly's perfect, otherwise frenetic Stars EP. If it were up to me, this would have been No. 1, or close. As fun as it is to laugh and pick apart wackiness, none of that is any match for sex, even when it's this mechanized.

(A big shout goes to Michael Gill, who let me know about this year's countdown -- I thought 2004's was going to be a one-time thing. I generally hate tradition, but this is one I'm all about upholding.)

Comments

[jeremy]

brilliant. i worship at your altar. loving "Midas Touch" (love the squelchy mini-bassline that pops up about half way thru) and 'Castro Boy' is phucking phenom!

[manhattan offender]

you are, like, such a total resource.

[Gerry]

I agree, you are amazing. Thank you for sharing your energy, time and resources.

[Neha]

Many thanks to you Rich, I danced my way to work this morn. The vocals on Midas Touch are super sessy. Fockewulfe is my fav though, "Badi hit. Badi hit."

[Rich]

The saxophone of "Badi Hit" makes me weep. So does, "I can't essplain my mood. I can't essplain my feelING." He's just so passionate, that Fockewulf.

[snag]

whoa thanks a lot for posting these tracks.
I love Pineapples - come on closer, i had that song on a random no tracklist mix.
Now i know the name, good deal.

[Professor]

Great post AND excellent tracks. Thanks! over the last year I've made a few tracks of my own that I hope at least capture some of the spirit of the classics. Follow the Myspace URL and you can hear some samples.

[Justin Mason]

great post! It explains the whole I-F/CBS/italo situation quite nicely. and Mr Flagio -- omg -- what a tune!

[Vinyl Whore]

I've had an Italo problem for about 3 years now, and you just sent me into another relapse. Pineapples just rules, and I listen to Mr. Flagio every day. I listen to Pineapples every other day, and BWH, Casco, Klapto, Junior Byron, Dharma, Doctor's Cat, Savage and Gaznevada. Help!!!!

Check our little homage to Italo and Chicago here

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=57796959

[hzlz]

Greetings! Don't run, we are your friends!

Thx for this write-up.

[Marcotyx]

and how exactly is single girl a ripoff of dirty talk. lets see the analysis with the claim

[Rich]

OMG! I feel so called out!

Look, they're similar tracks to me. The percussion (boom, smack, boom, smack) and floozy vocals of "Single Girl" are extremely reminiscent of "Dirty Talk," and though the bass lines differ, I just HEAR "Dirty talk (giggle giggle)" every time I hear the "Single Girl" break down.

In retrospect, to say that "Single Girl" is a "total rip-off" is an exaggeration (first of all, "SG" is way stripped-down). But "Dirty Talk" was a pretty fucking monumental track, and the pearl-clutching over my comparison surprises me.

There, now go post that on your forum so you can trash me some more and give fodder to the fuck who's well-versed in what makes my blog tick in addition to being an expert in all things torturous. Mmmmkay?

[vorton]

haha i love this page! its funny to read how u comment these tracks i feel exactly same. when i say "italo" i think of 80s disco sound thats usually from italy, has specific synth sounds, brilliant melody and horrible vocals+lyric.
for example Fokewulf 190 "bodyheat" or Decadance "On & On" (fears keep on) are absolutely brilliant but the vocals ruin everything. i hope i find instrumentals of this 2 records.

im a italo buff for nearly 10yrs now. im from eastern europe, so my 1st italo experience was a russian compiation "fantastic disco" (i think it was '97-98) - that was when i heard about artists like radiorama, mike mareen, valerie dore. after that came internet and trading mp3 cd-s (at one point my italodisco collection had more than 2'000 tracks...) since nowadays i have kept only about 300 tracks from those (Savage "Fugitive", K.Laszlo "Hey Hey Guy", Sensitive "Driving", Gazebo "Love In Your Eyes") u can say im thru with italo but theres still much old dance sound to discover. Would you believe it if i told you that 2 weeks ago i heard for the very first time Patrick Cowley's "Megatron Man", "Right On Target" and "Tech-No-Logical World" - i was totally blown away!!

btw ive been wanting to listen this "mr.master/dog in the night"-effort for years now, now i finally did its hilarous (i mean, the guy is so sincere, but the f-- is he talking bout? random words from his english dictionary?)

ill definitely be checking back to this site soon, keep on! martin

[your fan]

Well done for this page as well as music!

Well done

[your fan]

any chance of having more songs from Fockewulf???

thanks

[qtel]

Nice article. Just came across this a few days ago. Interesting about I-F, summed it all up well, and i've been listening to CBS for a few years. Cheers mate.

[jerome green]

Hi Rich,

Perfect!!!!!!

Thanks for all the tracks! Beautiful stuff.

Peace, Jerome

[dario.zg]

Keep on with ITALOing! :-)

Bye & regards,

dario.zg

[dario.zg]

Keep on with ITALOing! :-)

Bye & regards,

dario.zg

[buy generic viagra]

This post is kinda racist don't you think ?

[PVC pocket]

Good followup, Ira. I'm guessing the newspaper didn't have a staff reporter at the scene, but got whatever information they printed after the fact from police reports.

[Promotion card]

In my head I'm hearing this on the stage as a spoken-word performance. I would love to hear this at an open mic or poetry slam!! Beautiful. Provocative. Inspiring. Thanks.

[booster cable]

You are such a smart, accomplished woman and a doggone wonderful person. Your writing is a reflection of your beautiful mind and heart. Brava you!

[furosemide 40mg]

I am really admired for the great info is visible in this blog that to lot of benefits for visiting the nice info in this website. Thanks a lot for using the nice info is visible in this blog