Last Wednesday, Liza Minnelli appeared on Larry King Live. I know: who cares, right? I mention it not as a disciple of Liza or a fan of musical theater (I couldn't be further from either), but as someone who loves a good trainwreck. Which is what she offered, sorta.
I distilled the hour-long interview down to its most essential elements: Liza's various, throaty and broad outbursts and fits of laughter. What follows is my highlights reel of her pearls of nonsense, uploaded to YouTube for your viewing (and my bandwidth) ease. Can you really resist the promise of nonsense on a Monday?
Because this one-minute-37-second video is composed of 18 different clips, there's a lot of context raping. Her reactions and outbursts might not make sense, but don't worry -- they didn't really in the first place.
My favorite parts are "I work with retarded children" and when she cracks up at the guy when he says that he's a musical-theater major.
I'm not saying she's drunk, but she's real nice.
her cackle makes my skin crawl. great job on the editing. haha.
Posted by: john | March 20, 2006 at 12:11 PM
Yowsers! She sounds like she has a furball the size of Winston in her throat. Larry King looks so uncomfortably disarmed by her cackling! But truth be told, Liza's a true "theatre person," a special breed of people to whom you can't really apply normal rules of conduct. They're just not from this planet.
Posted by: cinderelli | March 20, 2006 at 12:16 PM
You are a fucking genius and I worship you. Thank You for that. I watched that interview- how weird was it when someone asked her if she was a christian? So hilarious.
Posted by: Andy Butler | March 20, 2006 at 12:32 PM
but in all fairness Rich, she's a sexagenarian!!!. So this interview is merely the following equation: standard famous since birth lunacy + old age. poor dear.
still. hilarious nonsequitors therein. thanks. The only thing that woulda made this better is to mix in that even more trainwrecky footage from the delusional Inside the Actors Studio
hee.
Posted by: Nathaniel R | March 20, 2006 at 12:49 PM
i couldn't watch more than a few minutes at a time (i flipped over to it while Idol was at commercial) and between Liza and Paula Abdul, i have been turned off of painkillers forever.
Posted by: whatwouldjanicedickinsondo | March 20, 2006 at 12:58 PM
the editing on that was pure genius, and you're right I saw the entire interview when it aired, she didn't really make any more sense in its proper context
Posted by: blakjaxx | March 20, 2006 at 01:57 PM
I used to not have an inkling of respect for the divas of queens past. Eventually I sat an old queen down and said, "Girl. Whassadeely on Liza and Judy and Barbra and all that." And now I give full props to Judy and Liza. But not Barbra. Because blondes can never truly be friends.
Posted by: mo | March 20, 2006 at 02:20 PM
- OH MY GOD!!! It sounds like there are a bunch of midget clowns in her mouth fighting to get out, either that or she is Satan's daughter with that laugh.
Posted by: Cornelius | March 20, 2006 at 02:34 PM
i think she's kinda cute. especially after her stint on arrested development. i'd totally let her get me drunk and marry me.
Posted by: jeremy | March 20, 2006 at 02:44 PM
That was me on Saturday night!
Posted by: bryce | March 20, 2006 at 03:04 PM
She's actually a pretty sexy woman. Imagine her laughing while she's sucking your cock.
Posted by: Brandon | March 20, 2006 at 03:06 PM
it is literally like she changes into a different person when she starts her outbursts!! Someone who has smoked for 100 years, but definitely someone else!
Posted by: duane | March 20, 2006 at 03:25 PM
rich you always know the right type of "personality" to blog about. I totally feel you on a good trainwreck. Thanks for the laugh. I have a job that is kinda hard to explain to most people, I think liza explains it best - I work with retarded children!
Posted by: onenami1lion | March 20, 2006 at 04:38 PM
That was funny and laugh straight through, but onenami1lion's comment just cracked me up!
Posted by: Mika | March 20, 2006 at 04:58 PM
Holy.crap.
trainwreck is like the understatement of the year.
I can totally sympathize with Poor Larry's forced laughter.
Awesome thanks!
Posted by: ceece | March 20, 2006 at 04:59 PM
Larry King is bonkers.
Liza is just Liza.
What am I most grateful for?
You, Rich! (And the being alive thing)
Posted by: spazmo | March 20, 2006 at 06:20 PM
Why is this filed under Dumbness
Posted by: BigFriend | March 20, 2006 at 06:39 PM
I love how she almost spit her drink out when she started laughing! that was too funny. :) i love your editing.
Posted by: jas26 | March 20, 2006 at 06:51 PM
Rich, I'm so glad that a girl can count on you to brighten an otherwise dull weekday with psychosis-riddled laughter montages. My thanks.
Posted by: Sarah D. | March 20, 2006 at 07:02 PM
Oh, that Liza. She's like a wacky, smokey aunt who visits once a year and makes you laugh, whether she means to or not. This megamix is wonderful.
Posted by: JH | March 20, 2006 at 07:45 PM
To quote Sandra Bernhard, "It's so easy to dog Liza, but listen, Liza is a LEGEND." So just get off her spangeld capri slacks and let her be, damnit.
Posted by: Greg | March 20, 2006 at 08:15 PM
I have now watched this 1000 times and I am STILL laughing out loud. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Posted by: Nelson | March 20, 2006 at 11:20 PM
i'm so fucking glad you watched that, too. was waiting for someone else to notice. i feel for her, though! she kinda' rocks. you gotta admit.
Posted by: mil | March 21, 2006 at 04:15 AM
ohmigod, how funny was that?? don't know too much about her, but has heard she's crazes, and it's proven in this small amount of edited footage...that cackle was gold, sounded just like an old lady who's smoked all of her life and is a few cigs short of an oxygen tank!!
and my mom worked with "retarded" children, but she never called them that :$
Posted by: Mara | March 21, 2006 at 04:46 AM
"You've made 60 the new 40"
What's that then? 60 Uppers? Whiskeys? Brow lifts?
Posted by: E | March 21, 2006 at 06:36 AM