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Doesn't Brooke go apeshit next week? Man, I hope she turns out to be a cutter.

raging indie

Rich, totally unfair. I'm laughing so hard that my coworkers are prairie-dogging in their cubicles. Viva Jade!

Jade is from outerspace!


I am loving Danielle. I thought she was seriously going to smack Tyra after her fake-out faint.
One note though: you forgot the genius that is Joanie. To whit:
"Maybe Nnenna is 120% book smart and like 4% common sense smart"


I've been waiting for your recap since Wednesday night!

I had this funny feeling that the episode would be funny, so I DVRed it--and Jade's commercial made me laugh so hard, I was rolling on the floor every single time I rewound the DVR to see it again. God, it's great to see her get taken down a notch. Even if next week she's sure to bounce back strong, because...unfortunately....she is a hell of a competitor. Why no clip of Perfect Eyebrows And Lip Gloss Jay M. calling Jade a drag queen, though? That was a highlight.

I think I love your recaps more than I love the actual show, by the way. It's fabulous!


Jade must be a plant. No way is she a real live human being. If she was going to be that vile, at least be smart about it. Bitch didn't even know what "facade" meant. And "Brooke is so sentimental"?! I LMAO'ed when she said that. Then stared in disbelief during her Cover Girl Tranny Prance. Then LMAO'ed again.

Danielle takes great photos. I like her Southern accent (you hear that, Tyra[nt], Southern, *not* hella country). However, THAT GRILL AIN'T RIGHT. Somebody recommend her to Pall Wall, or Kelis, or something. Anything. Please.

Furonda aka Zorak impressed me this week, as did Leslie (who?). Sarah's commercial was fine. Joanie, let's go party. Brooke is still seriously fug.

And Nnenna?! DON'T CALL HIM. It's that simple.


That picture of John made me have to pee a little.

I think I love you...

I also think that I want to go out drinking w/ Joanie...she seems cool as shit.

Thanks for another great one!


i've never actually gotten angry at a television show, but i literally was furious when mollie sue got the axe, because i knew the only reason she got knocked out and jade stayed was because they knew jade would provide the drama and the ratings.

damn you UPN.... damn you!

raging indie

One thing add-on: No one can do math on this show.

I think I might love Joanie a little. If there were no Jade, she would totally be the bitch. How great was her "Nnenna is like 120 percent book smarts and 4 percent street smarts" line? ...Because that's how percents work.

She should team up with Miss J and offer free tutoring.

gayest neil

Whew. This show. This fucking crazy ass show. This fucking monstrous show. You do it justice Rich. You buff and shine it's utter lack of self-awareness into a dazzling shine. Bravo!


Jwatch killed me this week! LMAO! I wanna beat Jade down but for some reason I don't want her to go just yet. She's rather entertaining, basically just because she's such a bitch.


Seriously...this is the best ANTM recap ever. I am dying here at work looking at Brooke's facial contortions and Jade's
"fabulous" twirls.


I kept hoping that Tyra's wig might come unglued when she did her fake fainting spell.

Michael K

RICH! Jesus thanks you for that Jade clip. This will stay in my heart forever!


As long as Jade is around, you have to do the "Imagine That" segment. When she didn't know what "facade" meant all I could say was "Are you kiddin me?" The fact that it was Furonda educating her just put it over the top. And the way Danielle's face looked after the fall, I was waiting for her to say "Bitch, that ain't funny."

are you this funny in normal everyday speech or does it require thought to attain this level of genius?


Ugh! Jade! Seriously, it's been two days and I still don't know what to say. So...ugh. But I laughed out loud when Tyra mentioned how long she'd been trying to become a model and STILL hadn't succeeded...

Furonda, on the other [enormous] hand, is still WEIRD. And what is with Brooke's simpering little baby voice?

I liked Mollie Sue, and yeah, obviously her "persona" had been left on the editing room floor.


There are only 8 girls left, how does Leslie manage to get less than 40 seconds air time in each episode!? Girl needs to shed a tear or call someone a skank-ho or confess to a life-long struggle with colitis or something. I fear she will go the way of Nicole Cycle 3 (who? ... exactly!)


Love the recap, as always, but I'm calling "Bulls**t" on bouncing Mollie Sue. I am SO TIRED of hearing the judges say, "Well, Brooke doesn't take a good picture, she can't pose, she can't talk, but I STILL SEE SOMETHING THERE." How many chances does this girl get? And we all know that Jade stayed because Crazy makes Great Television.

Mollie Sue, we promise to make you a star. You deserve it.


The recap was FABULOUS, once again! It was FABULOUS! What can I say? It was FABULOUS! BAH!!!!
This was the *****WRONG***** decision. Mollie Sue is gorgeous. Her pictures maybe weren't the most stunning week to week but they were better than Jades, Joanies, Furondas, Saras, whats-her-name-bubble-butts, and Brookes. She didn't deserve to leave yet. It angers me that just because someone isn't bubbling over with cheerleader goo, they're labelled as having no persona. NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE YOU TYRA! *i'm sorry for yelling Ty Ty, I love you.
That said, Jade. Needs. To. GO. Talk around my office is that she may be playing up the villian role in hopes of becoming a reality star ala Omarosa. I can see a Surreal Life season in her future. But not a modeling contract.
Furonda will not win. She's not pretty. Her picture last week was ok, she did fine in this week's challenge, but she will not win. Keep in mind she was also CRAP in that PSA.
Nnenna on the other hand, was full of grace and poise. Personally, I think they're heading down the whole 'Nnenna's a bitch' storyline to throw us off so its not AS friggin obvious as its been in previous weeks that she's going to win. Sounds like they're making a storyline out of nothing.
Brooke may last longer than we think. They love the girls who undergo major changes, and isn't the 'theme' of this season transformation?
They really need to send Danielle and Joanie to a dentist. Maybe Joanie can donate her snaggletooth to fill in Danielle's gap.
They're priming us for a shock when Leslie makes it to the final three. Can't you feel it? They're limiting her air time right now for a reason.
Sara is growing on me. She's the opposite of pretencious, and I like that.

Valerie Cherish.... lol.. I loved that show. Lisa kudrow should come on Top model lol.


The funniest part of this was watching Tyra fall and them jumping to save her...except the blonde in the corner who doesn't move a hair!!! Watch it again. Its like when Michelle from Destiny's Child fell and they just looked at her and kept it moving. So that girl is now officially Kelly Rowland to me.

And Imagine That! with Jade is now my favorite game. I will be playing this Wed. might even make it a drinking game.


I'm obsessed with this show. But this week was fucked up. Totally agree that lookin-like-that alien-from-the-original-Star-Trek-credits-Jade is there strictly for the drama. Tyra sucks mostly for that. And when is Furonda leaving?? Just cause she's tall and skinny doesn't make her a model. Right Whitney?

I'm sick of looking at Leslie's squinty-eyed face, Brooke's droopy mouth, Sara's pig nose and Forunda pock-marked face. Jade---let your old ass be gone already. THEN let the games begin!

And finally.....why did they cut off my girl Nnenna hair again. SHe looks stunning with it, now she looks so one note (although still breath-taking). Sabotage? Tyra...share the weave.


Oh lawd! That sound clip of Danielle is making me laugh so hard -- "easybreezybeautifulcovergirl -- whasss wrong wit me!?"

Jade's commercial was so fuckin bizarre I don't even know what to say. She was acting like some grand dame who just arrived at the ball...just a twirlin up those stairs.

Nnnnennna hang up the damn phone already! I can't stand when people do that shit. They complain all the time about their boyfriend/girlfriend buggin them, but they willingly pick up the phone, call them, and then unleash a flood of passive agressiveness. I think Nnenna is a closet ice queen. That bitch calls her man JUST so she can hang up on him.

Oh, I also want to poo poo Tyra's latest wig choice, it just looks comical.


i seriously was hoping one of the girls would steal ty's wig when she was out.

the Stretch Armstrong cap of jade is priceless.

someone called Furonda "Zorak". i love you. seriously -- from a gremlin to a mantis to Flavor Flav, is there any creepy-crawly she DOESN'T resemble? why is she here?

valerie. effing. cherish. you continue to rock me, rich.

i'm boycotting the show in honor of mollie sue and only reading your blog from now on. this shit's SO much better remixed.

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