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May 19, 2006



if covergirl conspired to have nicole win (when nik was actually more eloquent), why in the world would they not have stepped in to rule out danielle? again, look at danielle's commercial vs. joanie's - and, honestly, which is better?

oh, sorry, i forgot - conspiracy theory lacks logic.

As I said, Cover Girl already has their sacrificial lamb in Nicole...

Joanie's commercial was beautiful and she definitely has a voice for television...but I'm sure we all can't wait to hear Danielle's new "Oprah voice" in CG ads next cycle.

It is logical that Nicole won out of Cycle five's final 3. My conclusions on how she got there are based on the illogical Tyraisms that got her there... Nik was more eloquent in her commercial but her look wasn't as versatile as Nicole's blank (really blank) canvas, and they specifically said so during the final judging.


best recaps ever!!



I looked forward to your recaps as much as I did each episode. Thanks for all that you do. I love Danielle's baby pics almost as much as Eva's old ones.

I just saw her Cover Girl ad in People and she looks fantastic. A true model.

Now if we could just get you hooked on Lost...damn. There are some hot boys on the show. C'mon. Start watching the Sesaon I and II DVD's this summer. I need your insight.

Love ya!


Thanks for the commentary/recaps! You crack me up. I'm also thrilled that Danielle won.


oh crap! the soul survivor remix was hellarious!

i lovelovelove danielle, damn, and i just realized she look like she related to WANDA SYKES!

HAS ANYBODY ALREADY HEARD HER SPEAK?? it sounds much more articulate, atleast tyra cant rag on her now! speakin bout tyra-nt, watch this!...


richness, i miss your recaps already

Miss P

So, Nicole's hopes and dreams involve working toward her goals.

Yes, that does say everything, Rich. I can't stand Nicole. I don't know what makes me happier - that Danielle won or that we won't have to see boring-ass, bland, no charisma or talent Nicole and her My Life As a Cover Clone!

ANTM just bought themselves another season of me watching thanks to this season. Loved that both Top 2 were worthy.

And I'm not a Jade fan...but she was damn entertaining to watch. Err..I mean, she's very funalistic to googletonic.


"As I said, Cover Girl already has their sacrificial lamb in Nicole... "

you're kidding me, right? a multi-million dollar company says, during cycle 5, "sure, THIS time we're going to pick the winner [*insert demonic laughter here*], because we don't want to lose millions in revenues, but NEXT time, because we have already sacrificed the girl-child nicole to our pagan mascara gods, and they are happy, we shall allow you to choose your own mush-mouth supermodel, regardless of how many millions we will lose."

nicole was a "sacrificial lamb"??! please explain how that metaphor works in this context. wait, i'll save you the time - it doesn't.

wait - is this JADE??


THANK YOU, you have totally rocked. Thank you and see you next season!


i loved when jade disappeared from the combo shot with a pop versus a fade out. like bye bitch! and i think she's illiterate and high, not just high, though she's definitely high, and stupid and plain and scary. right now i think she's falling down cause some antm superfan knocked her over and it's really funny. i feel a poem coming on:

jade (snap)
fade (snap)
booze (snap)
muse (snap)
kitsch (snap)
bitch (snap)


I am so sad that I only found you, Rich and your highly entertaining recaps, in the last few weeks of ANTM. Believe me when I say this, I will be back here next cycle, Sucka! Thanks!


LMAO - just saw a clip from "The Soup" on E....they had the clip of Jade doing Leftover Lady......then showed a title over her: America's Next Top Crappy Diva Bitch Beat Poet.......love it.

Rich, thank you for making my Friday's! Here's hoping Being Bobby Brown comes back soon. OR, double Winston pics to fill the void!!!!

wow i've been waiting for this recap foreverrr!! well worth the wait :)
i'm so glad you put the clip of tyra's "it won' clum'"... i've been imiatating her since i saw that haha
anyways you've been AWESOME


WEll, we still have the reunion show to look forward to, don't we?
Thanks so much for the recaps, Rich. I never commented but I've been reading all cycle.


Joanie's dad looked like the coach dude from Mysterious Skin. Creeeepy.

Also, loved the trip through time. Cycle 2 was the BEST EVER. The photoshoots AND girls were the most 'model-esque' this show has ever/will ever be. Sara was hotness defined. Or definionated, if you will.


Preach to me, sexy dad.

But, but, but... the porn'stache!


Thanks, Rich! Your recaps are the bombdest!
I love Danielle and Joanie. Yay for both of them! This season was SO MUCH better than last, when I stopped caring after my crazy homegirl Lisa got booted.
Top Model 4-Evah!
Hey, someone here needs to make Jade shirts and sell them to us!


Tyra's not a racist, just a realist about the snooty-ass beyatches that control the industry. And it's not so much that Danielle has a black accent as much as a country accent. The thing is, Tyra is seeing the modeling industry through her own biased eyes. What I mean is, Trya does an unusual amount of public speaking for a model. Your average model doesn't get a lot of jobs that involve speaking, and there are super models who have barely spoken at all during their entire careers--Kate Moss comes to mind. And even if Danielle's voice is totally unacceptable for a Cover Girl commercial, what, Maybelline's never done a voice over for any of their spots?? I find that kinda hard to believe.

As for you, Rich, bravo and thanks! Can't wait 'til next season!


I'm not sure if you're going to get the channel that its on...but I really hope you can do recaps for CNTM!!


You know what I'll miss most? The "Imagine That with Jade" posts. Jade lost. Imagine that? LOLOL

Thanks for keeping me rolling in laughter, Rich. =)

I absolutely love your recaps. They make the ANTM experience complete. A suggestion: perhaps you could recap the upcoming Canada's Next Top Model series. Its a sure thing that there will be more tears...The show starts May 31st and it is hosted by Tricia Helfer.
Thank you so very much.


I hope Canada's Next Top Model is as good ^o^ hahaha!! Have you seen the finalists? They're posted up already...


I already think some of them aren't that pretty tho.. =( boo.


I am glad you commented on Tyra's outfit. She looked ridiculous and is always trying to upstage the girls.
Jade has some serious literacy problems. Nice try though.


Rich, you light up my life. Thanks for the great recaps.


thank you so much Rich. This is the first season I came across your page and it is like you are reading my mind. I love you Danielle. And, what happened to the wrap party? Did I miss something?

Penny Woods

I wanted to read this yesterday, but alas, all my pleading did not get me to a computer yesterday.

No more Imagine That! with Jade. :(

But I do like that alternative theory that she gets high, though.

One question: how did she smuggle the weed onto the show and through the airport? She's good!

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